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To think that just because people have the "workmen in" doesnt give them the right to act like

(43 Posts)
lucyellensmum Wed 18-Jul-07 14:51:40

...condescending arseholes and treat my hubby like the little man who does!!!

I am so angry about this, i know that technically i am being unreasonable and its not the actual thing that annoys me, its the attitude behind the thing, if you get my meaning.

The person involved probably does MN but i really couldnt care a shit, and besides this may be one of my lasts threads, i shall start another thread to explain myself for those who are interested.

My DP is a carpenter, he is struggling to get his business off the ground and he is BUSY! Busy and stressed. So, after my DP making these people the most amazing bespoke cupboards and bookcases at a ridiculously cheap price, more or less acting as a bloody childminder to the womans son, she is soooo going to recognise herself, i dont care. He also is asked to make a deck in the garden. So, he puts other work behind to do this, said people piss off on holiday leaving the garden in such a state that DP couldnt start, delay! Come back, condescend to help him move their shit. Then, and this is the bit im spitting teeth about, DP runs out of wood, one, no two peices left to do, doesnt show, its safe, no big deal, one would think. DP said, would come back to do it, client offered to transfer payment into DPs account (DP and i breath sigh of relief, can now pay mortgage). Now DP wasnt prompt in returning to do the job, slightly irritating i suppose but he needed to travel to a timber merchant which was out of his way to get two bits of wood so decided to pick it up next time he was there getting stuff. So, we gets a phone call from client, oh well i will pay for the book cases but i wont pay for the decking til you come and finish it. DP says fine while i inwardly seethe. The money for the cupboards was not transferred as promised, with the consequence that we missed our mortgage payments and incurred £80 bank fees. Now the job is done and the money, hopefully is being put in today (unless they read this i guess!).

Now technically, i think this was appropriate because you dont pay for things until the job is finished. BUT these people know DP have had lots of work done by him before at ridiculously cheap prices. I feel they have always taken the piss myself. They act all pally pally in order to get low prices if you ask me, and then they treat DP like they dont trust that he will return to finish the job, when it was just a case of him fitting it in with the mountains of other work he has to do. I will absolutely put my foot down and refuse to let DP do anymore work for thse people - oh and if you are reading this - move your own fucking freezer or pay some other poor workman to do it, my DP is not as much of a mug as you take him for!

End of rant i think, but i really do get pissed off with the way people think they can treat people working in their homes as if they are servants. I mean, that is how it feels some times. Now to be fair, most of the people DP does work for are lovely and always pay on time and treat him with respect. He is after all a skilled craftsman who they coudlnt have their lovely homes without.

So yes, i know technically, no money til the job done, but the attitude of this guy was out of order, patronising and made my blood boil. I actually think client was stalling as they didnt in fact have the money to pay for the work, else they would have payed for the cupboards when they said they would. What made me even madder was the fact that DP didnt even ASK for the sodding money.

hotbot Wed 18-Jul-07 14:54:31

ah lucy <hug>
if i need a carpenter i promise to be nice to your dp and make him cups of tea in an unobtrusive way, and pay him on time

lucyellensmum Wed 18-Jul-07 14:55:35

when i say DP wasn't prompt, i think it was about two weeks between him finishing the job and putting the last bits of wood in.

lucyellensmum Wed 18-Jul-07 14:58:55

thanks hot bot but hubby only drinks proper coffe - he came home the other day and said, that a lady he was workikng for (a very nice lady btw) made him such weak coffee that he had to wait til she had gone in and add some of his own coffee powder - mmmm, nice.

runawayquickly Wed 18-Jul-07 15:01:03

DH was in almost the same situation - but the client decided to take him to the small claims court! Upshot was almost a year of waiting for the case, which put us under so much stress. Client sounds like carbon copy of yours, but, if anything slightly more mad. What made it all worse was that she was a friend of friend and didn't even bother to ring DH to say 'excuse me - job not done to my (schizo) satisfaction. I am still seething about the whole thing three years on. The satisfaction of seeing her smug face fall when the judge/magistrate type bod threw her case out wasn't enough. I sympathise!

elesbells Wed 18-Jul-07 15:04:18

lucyellensmum why will this be your last thread? are you leaving mn?

hotbot Wed 18-Jul-07 15:06:53

ok,,, cranking up the cafetiere, and nice paper doily,,, homemade biscuit Mr.lucy?

lucyellensmum Wed 18-Jul-07 15:08:35

elesbells, i just need a break is all.

lucyellensmum Wed 18-Jul-07 15:09:42

yeah hotbot, none of that supermarket shite. Oh and best make sure its the best china too

hotbot Wed 18-Jul-07 15:13:50

as if i would do anything else.. actually its all a bit tongue in cheek, but i really think its difficult to find good workmen/house repairers so when you do,,, look after them!

FioFioJane Wed 18-Jul-07 15:17:17

can your dp not ask for a post dated cheque for 1/2 the money up front before he starts the job?

I have always been happy to write post dated cheques

I think this the worst thing about being self employed. No matter what you do for some people, they are never happy

CountessDracula Wed 18-Jul-07 15:18:11

I would say two things

1. They should withhold an appropriate amount of money ie if he had completed 90% of the decking then withold 10% of the money, maybe 20%

2. He chose to do the work cheaply for them. Presumably he could have quoted more or turned the work down as he has other work waiting. I suggest that in future he tries to be a bit more businesslike even if they are "friends" and quote an appropriate price because otherwise he will feel hard done by but tbh it is not really their fault!

lucyellensmum Wed 18-Jul-07 15:22:43

Fiofio - it depends on the job, it there is a big outlay for materials or it runs over a month (he has accounts with most of the builders merchants and pays up at the end fo the month) then he does ask for money up front. As far as asking for a PD check at the start of a job, that would imply the same sort of mistrust that this person has put on DP that he wouldnt finish the job. I just find that some peoples attitudes to the building trade are condescending. Usually get this from the hyacinth wannabe's of this world. The people with mega money who my DP occasionally does work for usually end up inviting us round for bloody dinner parties!!! It was just the clients attitude that riled me and the fact that he hid behind this to cover that he didnt have the funds organised in time. If he had said to DP could he pay him say in a week or two, we would have managed somehow and juggled our money to pay the mortgage and are now £80 out of pocket and barely talking as this fueled a massive row between us because i think dp is too soft by half.

lucyellensmum Wed 18-Jul-07 15:30:30

the trouble is with my DP countess dracula, is that he is too bloody nice and ends up being pissed around with people who have condescending attitudes. It wasn't the fact that thew withheld the money because my DP never asks for money until the work is 100% complete to the clients satisfaction. Unless as in my previous post, there is significant outlay on his part. I do agree that he should increase his prices and be more business like, these people are NOT our friends and nor would i want them to be. DP had not even asked for the money, it was the fact that the bloody stupid man made a point of withholding money for something that would take ten minutes to complete and had no real effect on the look of the job. It made me feel like they did not trust DP to finish the job and that was blatantly not the case.

I told DP today he is too nice and needs to get a bit harder if he is to make this business work. He doesnt feel hard done by regarding the price, he is not stupid, he knows what prices he is putting in. Just their bloody "upstairs downstairs" attitude. Not bad in their poxy terraced house!

bossykate Wed 18-Jul-07 15:33:22

so what exactly are you finding condescending?

lucyellensmum Wed 18-Jul-07 15:39:05

the mistrust that my DP will finish the job. The fact that the money was offered in the fist instance by the client, DP never invoices until job complete, so for him to ring up and say - you can have the money for x and not for y because you havent nailed one more bit of wood in that will take you five minutes to do when you have the time. And just the general attitude of these people that i cannot sum up here. So actually yes, its more the general attitude of the people rather than what they did, but then i said that in my original post, that it was the attitude behind the thing, rather than the thing

Carnoodleusfudge Wed 18-Jul-07 15:44:22

I am always really really nice to our builders.

I buy them lots of biscuits and doughnuts and make lots of tea.

We even invited everyone who had worked on our house to our house warming party.

We paid them on time the agreed amounts


the "builder" who has just done some work on our fence wont be getting a penny until he has finished the job and made good the damage

I alway always have a rentention on any job - that way you all know where you stand.

LowFatMilkshake Wed 18-Jul-07 15:53:28

I am always nice and make tea and have snacks for anyone who comes to make our house and garden a nicer safer place to be

lucyellensmum Wed 18-Jul-07 15:54:00

carnoodles, i agree with you. But this persons attitude was very much that of thinking they are better than my DP. Wankers.

Carnoodleusfudge Wed 18-Jul-07 15:57:26

Yep - I hate the way I hear people talking about their builders/carpenters etc I think it is really shocking. I have massive respect for these guys...

Actually you have hit a nerve at the moment as our carpenter/joiner who worked miracles in our house (no conincidence that Jesus father was a carpenter I tell you!) has been doing some work for my mum and she is soo patronising I am embarrassed. She is so condescending about everyone working on her house and quite rude too - and then she wonders why they don't turn up until lunchtime...I lured my builders early with promises of bacon butties

LowFatMilkshake Wed 18-Jul-07 15:57:47

Is'nt your DP better than them for possessiong such a skill to make thier house a nice place. If they're so high and mighty tell them to do it themselves!

Egg Wed 18-Jul-07 16:01:28

Must be honest, we have a lovely builder (who is also a trained carpenter) and we paid him in full for the job when it was almost done. Then he took about two weeks to finish the job. Was really pissed off that, as it was only such a small thing to finish, he couldn't just come back and do it. We wished we had not paid him in full until job was complete. Works both ways sometimes. We are not condescending I assure you.

lizziemun Wed 18-Jul-07 16:37:01


I don't understand some people, it is so hard to find good builders/carpenters.

We have just had the outside of our house painted (friend of dh) and because the weather has been so bad it took 2 1/2 weeks to do instead of the 4 days he said. We paid him half the money the first week and the rest the second week although he had to come back and finish the job. I wouldn't dream of with holding payment if a small thing needed to be finished. I mean it not like she didn't know where to find him if he didn't come back in a reasonable time.

lucyellensmum Wed 18-Jul-07 23:03:04

we think it is because these people didnt have the money

lizziemun Thu 19-Jul-07 07:33:56


"we think it is because these people didnt have the money " - Then they shouldn't have had the work done.

I have jobs i want done but we can not afford to do them a the moment so they wait until we can.

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