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To get an overwhelming sense of danger from a stranger?

(677 Posts)
ThisIsCheese Tue 07-May-19 09:57:40

The weirdest thing just happened. I’m in the supermarket and as I’m stood selected and bagging vegetables I suddenly feel very uncomfortable.
There is a man about 50 something stood with his elderly mother a few feet away to the side of me and I felt very sick and uncomfortable when I looked at him.
Absolutely no reason for it but it was overwhelming, like a sense of fear he was not a good man.

Completely clueless why I felt that way I moved along quickly but I crossed paths with him again in another aisle and knew he was there before I saw him because the sick / anxious feeling returned.

Anyone else ever had this? I don’t have anxiety or anything but this feeling was so odd, like I could sense he wasn’t a good person.

Never met him before, he could be perfectly lovely but my physical reaction to him was so strong confused

teacakes44 Thu 30-May-19 16:32:05

Blimey crikey! I have many fond memories of Uxbridge but that one isn’t one of them!

LadyOfTheCanyon Thu 30-May-19 16:07:38

Oh God Uxbridge station was full of nutters back in the day. Late 80s I rang a cab from the phone box to pick me up at the bus station. They always asked you to stand at the back entrance to Woolworths for ease of finding you. It was about 1am and deserted. The cab firm had said about 20 minutes. The station was deserted.

20 minutes later a car pulled up so I got in.

Well turns out the guy wasn't from the cab firm but just a lone nutbag who liked to drive around looking for random women to help out. I didn't let him drive me home, I chatted nicely even though he was clearly mad, and then when reasonably near my house I told him to drop me off and then sprinted up an alley and hid in someone's garden for about half an hour before I felt it was safe to actually go home.

That'll learn me!

teacakes44 Thu 30-May-19 15:04:54

Years ago I was getting on a bus at Uxbridge station- long before mobiles - a guy starting chatting asking was I getting on the bus etc at first he seemed ok then I just felt he was too over friendly. My worry was I had quite a long walk from the bus stop to my house - along quite dark streets as I remember. Anyway I carried on chatting a bit, got on the bus then just as it started up I jumped up & got off, the bus driver pulled off & he couldn’t do anything about it
I watched him watch me in disbelief as the the bus pulled away. That was nearly 30 years ago & ive never forgotten it
Thank goodness for mobiles now at least you can alert someone if you need to

Bluffinwithmymuffin Thu 30-May-19 15:01:34

Okay. Fair enough

WhyisntMusicManacareeroption Thu 30-May-19 14:23:35

Maybe it was an odd thing to say, Bluffin.
Sorry MitziK. I don't know what I mean but it certainly gave me an insight into how some people learn to cope with abuse that I never thought of before.

Bluffinwithmymuffin Thu 30-May-19 13:40:14

Today 11:01 WhyisntMusicManacareeroption

@MitziK, your post was compelling. I would read a book about your life,

What an odd thing to say... There are plenty of misery memoirs out there, whyisntmusicman, for weird people who enjoy reading about abuse.

WhyisntMusicManacareeroption Thu 30-May-19 11:01:29

I was once walking to my boyfriend's from the bus stop (about 3am as I worked in a nightclub). A man was walking ahead of me and suddenly turned left off the pavement behind a little wall. There were lots of trees there and I could see he was stood amongst them. I instantly walked down the road. After I got past him, he got out and wandered off.

Obviously not evil, and I am a good judge of people (emotionally abusive parent) but still, my instincts were telling me to stay the hell away. I'm lucky enough to never have seen pure evil because I would probably shout!

@MitziK, your post was compelling. I would read a book about your life, I hope things are better now.

Mymomsbetterthanyomom Thu 30-May-19 01:58:12

@OneStepSideways
Oh my gracious that had to have been so scary!😱

Devilinatwinset Fri 17-May-19 11:58:11

But that still gives people the opportunity to place blame elsewhere ie on this EXTERNAL force or influence. I think it's nonsense. Pure tripe as we say in these parts. The Pope is still using that argument to avoid taking responsibility for the systemic abuse of children at the hands of men & women 'of god'. I think that the reasons that people do awful things are highly complex - a result of a combination of nature & nurture, inborn inclination or propensity for bad & environment or circumstances that set someone on a path. Some people will do bad things when they see an opportunity and some people will stop at nothing to satisfy their own ends. But it's not because there's some deviant spirit whispering in their ear (that's figurative btw)

Aguamenti Fri 17-May-19 11:17:36

@Devilinatwinset I see where you are coming from. There is an urdu poet who once said that 'I laugh at humans, they do the sin themselves and blame it on devil". So although I do believe in devil and that he encourages humans to sin, the fact it that those people chose to act on them. We humans have been given the gift of choice. A choice between being evil and good and it is us who takes the responsibility for making those choices.

Lizzie48 Thu 16-May-19 20:15:26

Thank you for your kind words. My DSis and I have both suffered from PTSD and we’ve been undergoing therapy for what we went through. It’s also been heartbreaking for my DM to realise how much she didn’t know.

Bigfanofcheese Thu 16-May-19 19:35:07

I'm so sorry Lizzie flowers

ThatCurlyGirl Thu 16-May-19 18:48:09

I'm so sorry @Lizzie48 thanksthanksthanksthanksthanks

beanaseireann Thu 16-May-19 18:35:40

Oh Lizzie.
sad

Lizzie48 Thu 16-May-19 17:46:20

My DSis and I suffered SA as children at the hands of quite a few abusers (one of them our F). My DM sadly had no idea that he was up to anything, but she did have a strong reaction to one of our abusers, a man who befriended us at a hotel when we were on holday. And she was right to be concerned, he was grooming us.

Sadly, all she said to us was that we mustn’t annoy him by going to his room. This led to him encouraging us to go there behind our DM’s back. Having lured us there, he and another man inflicted a serious assault on us. It’s the one assault where the police were able to make an arrest. Sadly, the CPS decided that there wasn’t enough evidence. The man who befriended us was dead; we didn’t know the other man and the police traced him through our description, as he had been on the hotel staff. That ID wasn’t sufficient, sadly, though the police were sure they had their man.

This makes me sad, as it was the closest my DM came to discovering what was going on. She had her instinct about the man but she never guessed that anything bad had actually happened.

Bigfanofcheese Thu 16-May-19 15:02:11

Sorry to hear about that Sarcelle what an awful time for you.

I'm just having a retrospective think about any subtle behaviours or expressions this girl showed and I think it may have been partly holding your gaze a bit too long and smiling very slightly in a certain patronising way. I know that sounds ridiculous but i suppose it suggested a sort of extreme confidence and attempt at power which was at odds with her general, quite low key demeanour and appearance.

Sarcelle Thu 16-May-19 13:10:12

Bigfan- I had the same feeling about somebody new once. For some reason I thought she would be trouble for me even though I would not be working with her.

Jump forward a few years and I was working with her. And yes, she was trouble for me. Caused me a lot of stress and sleepless nights.

Bigfanofcheese Thu 16-May-19 12:39:12

Just had to add to this thread as I've had the weirdest feeling off a very-near-stranger.

Had this once years ago about a man I passed in the street, nothing remarkable about his appearance, broad daylight but he really put the fear of God up me.

However today, I have just met a young lady (late teens) at a hospital volunteering event and got the strongest feeling of 'avoid her like the plague' I have ever felt! She was again unremarkable in her appearance (although quite a nice looking girl) and very self possessed and articulate.

I just got the oddest sense that she would stab someone in the back with ease (figuratively), even relish making trouble for them. We are aiming at getting into the same profession, me as a mature graduate, her as an undergrad and I am just left hoping that we aren't ever on the same course or ward. For absolutely no rational reason.

I am well aware this is not a nice thing to think about a young woman who is probably very nice and is volunteering to help patients but it has taken me aback somewhat!!

DerrenBrownings Wed 15-May-19 14:09:47

I think its ok in terms of being sued to say the name of whoever DW is I.e "I think David walliams is creepy" I think is fine? I dont think you're in illegal territory there!

ShadowsInTheDarkness Wed 15-May-19 13:59:49

I had this the other week in B&M! Busy Saturday afternoon, was down one aisle looking at laundry bins with DH. Chap with 2 small girls came down the aisle, and he moved behind me to pick a storage box up from the bottom of the shelf and it was like a warning klaxon was going off in my head. I pretty much flung myself out of the way and dragged DH down a different aisle. Nothing to explain it, he looked friendly and was totally focused on his kids (so no staring at me or weird looks etc) His children seemed "normal" - not subdued or anything. We had been out in busy shops all day and continued shopping for a few hours after the incident, and not one single other person had any kind of negative affect on me.

I have been in a DV relationship before, and no this chap had no resemblance to ex at all apart from being the same skin colour, and I'm not generally jumpy but do value my instincts now as I had bad feelings about ex when I met him but allowed myself to explain them away. So I reckon there was something about this chap my subconscious was picking up on.

Oliversmumsarmy Wed 15-May-19 13:19:17

Dilated pupils also can be genetic. Dp has huge pupils and so does Dd.

BasilBooBoo Wed 15-May-19 13:13:31

Oh sorry @Hiddenaspie1973 DW stands for someone else. Did think DW meaning your wife was a bit strange.

Justaboy Wed 15-May-19 12:40:50

OneStepSideways

This dialated pupils or mydriasis can be induced by several things including drugs prescribed ones and naughty bad ones as well as brain injury and disease and it did happen to me once as I had to have a certian type of eye exam where you are told NOT to drive home afterwards as yoiur pupils will be dilated big time the iris thats the colured bit dispaers almost so you cannt see it and it does make you look very wierd i did have a photo taken now lost and if it was under some circumstances it'd make most folk shit scred twice over!

Image of it here!.

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mydriasis#/media/File:Dilated_pupils_2006_(cropped).jpg

BertrandRussell Wed 15-May-19 10:05:11

Onestepsideways example isn’t if instinctively thinking somebody is creepy, though. It’s an example of a vile man actually being creepy!

Sarcelle Wed 15-May-19 10:05:05

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