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To get an overwhelming sense of danger from a stranger?

(677 Posts)
ThisIsCheese Tue 07-May-19 09:57:40

The weirdest thing just happened. I’m in the supermarket and as I’m stood selected and bagging vegetables I suddenly feel very uncomfortable.
There is a man about 50 something stood with his elderly mother a few feet away to the side of me and I felt very sick and uncomfortable when I looked at him.
Absolutely no reason for it but it was overwhelming, like a sense of fear he was not a good man.

Completely clueless why I felt that way I moved along quickly but I crossed paths with him again in another aisle and knew he was there before I saw him because the sick / anxious feeling returned.

Anyone else ever had this? I don’t have anxiety or anything but this feeling was so odd, like I could sense he wasn’t a good person.

Never met him before, he could be perfectly lovely but my physical reaction to him was so strong confused

PropagandaMachine Mon 13-May-19 08:00:53

Not trying to make an answer fit the question as such but how would you expain away the alleged comment that Walter rmade;

"I know what you are seeing" ?

She misheard and/or misremembered. Memory is a terribly inaccurate thing. The man knew she’d been dazzled, probably said “I don’t think you can see me” or something.
Can’t believe that people are arguing that he must have temporarily morphed into a monster confused

Devilinatwinset Mon 13-May-19 08:03:50

She was a nurse when she told the story in the company of other nurses. I'm sure it's not just sleep deprived nurses that hallucinate!

BertrandRussell Mon 13-May-19 08:09:30

There is a thread running about what children should be taught at school.
1)Occam’s Razor.
2)What confirmation bias is.

Oliversmumsarmy Mon 13-May-19 08:10:59

When the event occurred this person was an office worker not a nurse.

I am not sure how her being a nurse now has anything to do with it.

PropagandaMachine Mon 13-May-19 08:19:54

Im not sure what her job, whatever it was, had to do with anything.

People do not suddenly and temporarily turn into monsters with horns.

Can’t believe I felt the need to write that on an adult forum!

Oliversmumsarmy Mon 13-May-19 08:58:18

Im not sure what her job, whatever it was, had to do with anything

I was being pedantic.

The incident was being passed off as the reason this woman had an hallucination was because she was a tired nurse and I was trying to say at the time she wasn’t.

Devilinatwinset Mon 13-May-19 09:01:01

I know PropagandaMachine! I can't believe some people think it's possible.
Anyway, my point much earlier about Mary being a woman of science in like company was that she had scientific training, so whilst I'm sure it was a frightening thing to experience, did she, all those years later, not think or say 'I had an awful hallucination once'

RiversDisguise Mon 13-May-19 09:05:16

Ffs these threads pop up on here with monotonous regularity.

After the arrest, everyone says, "I always knew there was something dodgy about him."

"Pure evil" is invisible. That's why it flourishes so nicely.

RiversDisguise Mon 13-May-19 09:07:45

Oh and yes, doggies always know! Xxx

Devilinatwinset Mon 13-May-19 09:42:07

I actually really enjoy these threads! I think it's (mostly) very interesting. They seem to go two ways - one down the 'psycho' path & the other wanders off down 'woo' way.
My approach & mindset is scientific (education /training), & I'm naturally sceptical so when people start discussions about 'evil' I find it interesting just how many people go along with the notion that evil exists or that evil spirits etc must be real. I had an Irish Catholic upbringing & now I'm atheist so I have huge problems with the very concept of evil. Just look at how the current pope has blamed evil forces for the rape of children by catholic priests. Those men - real people, humans, did those things, not some invading evil force. But when people say that the idea of ghosts/evil spirits or whatever frighten them, I think there are enough real things to be afraid of. & that includes some truly awful people who want to do harm to others.
But yeah, I think this thread is somewhat running out of steam.

Devilinatwinset Mon 13-May-19 09:51:53

But ideas pervade & are lodged very deeply in our psyche. Evil spirits used to be blamed for all sorts that we, at one time, did not understand. Including schizophrenia, epilepsy, psychopathy etc. Scary children's stories were created to make them afraid of the boogeyman, ie. any would-be abductor/paedophile.

PropagandaMachine Mon 13-May-19 10:06:17

Seems perfectly feasible that someone may feel something a bit “off” about someone: they notice some unusual or shifty behaviour, micro expressions, cold or insincere smile etc. that may - may - tell them something about that person and their intentions; but the idea that people emanate “evil” that is then wafting through the air to be detected is bizarre.

Similarly bizarre is the notion that future events waft their danger and misery back in time to be detected by a lucky, chosen few who can then take evasive action.

Devilinatwinset Mon 13-May-19 10:39:35

That magical crystal ball that is hindsight.
I do absolutely believe that some people are more adept ( for whatever reason, such as growing up with abusive parents ) at 'reading' other people and I'm surprised that that very idea has been widely dismissed out of hand on this thread.

Devilinatwinset Mon 13-May-19 10:40:31

BertrandRussell do you have a link to that thread?

MontStMichel Mon 13-May-19 10:43:51

I do believe in ghosts though, but it sounds to me like they are somehow a recording of people being replayed through forces physics does not as yet understand, rather than evil spirits!

DD2 is an atheist, but she genuinely believes in ghosts now, after experiencing what she says could only be a ghost in the room with her!

Devilinatwinset Mon 13-May-19 10:46:04

hmm I'm outta here!

BertrandRussell Mon 13-May-19 11:11:25

Yes, some people are better at reading the micro body language stuff we all do all the time- the hyper vigilance that abuse victims sometimes exhibit is a good example of this. I just reject the whole “perceiving evil” and unexplained instincts stuff. I think that’s dangerous and misleading.

BertrandRussell Mon 13-May-19 11:13:03

Oh, and atheists can believe in ghosts. Just because you’re sensible in one area of your life doesn’t mean you can’t be bonkers in others!

TheCountessofFitzdotterel Mon 13-May-19 11:36:55

'The man knew she’d been dazzled, probably said “I don’t think you can see me” or something. '

Or 'I don't know what you're seeing,' given that her face must suddenly have gone shock

RSAcre Mon 13-May-19 11:48:59

“My sister can usually “sense” child abusers.“

With @BertrandRussell on this one, because ... logic.
How would the sister know if 94 child abusers had happened to interact with her & she HADN'T "sensed" them?

RiversDisguise Mon 13-May-19 11:57:47

It's bloody stupid.

BillyAndTheSillies Mon 13-May-19 12:03:23

I saw a picture of an ex colleague today and it reminded me of how I felt when I first met him.

There was something not quite right with his eyes, they felt unfeeling and like there was nothing behind them. He was training me at the time. Everyone warmed to him except me. I just felt this vibe coming off him in waves.

Over time and with promotions I worked my way up to his level and we spent a lot more time together. I was always on my guard around him, never wanted to say too much and felt like he was taking mental notes of everything I said.

One of the team that I managed came to me with some messages they'd received from him. We'd always wondered if there was something going on as we had four people convert to Islam within a few months. Real party goers (this was in a call centre so quite a rowdy crowd, lots of weekend millionaires) that claimed to have been saved. Fine, no issues but we had wondered what the link was. Two of the girls who had converted rushed in to marriage within weeks of converting.

Turns out my colleague was behind it all, and was radicalising a large section of the workforce. Preying on vulnerable team members and marrying them off to men who were known in the community to be abusive.

It wasn't until the girl I had managed had shown us his horrendous messages trying to persuade her that we were able to whistleblow on it.

But the reason people liked him was exactly what he was using to coerce the team. He was a heavy drug user (how hypocritical?) and would often give people he was trying to get close to weed or cocaine for free, get them extremely high and then talk about religion and slowly get in to their psyche.

We reported him to the police, as it was scary watching people change personality so quickly. Strangely, he left alone the people who were already Muslim, obviously realising he couldn't brainwash people who actually knew about the religion.

I'm glad I never got close to him. And glad I listened to my instincts.

Oliversmumsarmy Mon 13-May-19 12:05:25

I think people can sense evil in someone.

It can be because of past abuse and being adept at noticing almost imperceptible twitches or the look in someone’s eyes that they have seen before.
It could be because thoughts and brain activity are electrical impulses like feeling lightning. Someone could be emitting those sort of electrical sparks that another person is picking up on.

HPLikecraft Mon 13-May-19 19:21:54

I think people can sense evil in someone

But evil is an abstract concept, the definition and understanding of which may vary from person to person and culture to culture; it's not a concrete, measurable, detectable thing.

WhentheRabbitsWentWild Mon 13-May-19 19:43:33


Years ago when I was little there was a fishmongers on the corner of a lane into the old Greenwich fruit and veg market (long before the craft market it is now) . Bloke who run the fish mongers scared the life out of me but had to pass it if I wished to go to the market (and also short cut to reach the King William Walk entrance to Greenwich Park) . He never spoke to me, nor looked at me or anything but something about him gave me the creeps.

HPLikecraft Mon 13-May-19 19:55:20

ghoulish expression and she could see 2 small protuberances on his head, like horns

So, this is scary because... he looked like "The Devil"?
But the devil is a Christian/Abrahamic creation, whose appearance is not even described in the Bible. As an angel, he'd have had no substance, but when he did appear, as the angel of light, he'd have been beautiful and beguiling.
The, hooves, pointy tail etc. are all inventions of early artists and the distinctive look was formed in the middle ages.

Poor Walter is NOT the devil!

WoodenToyKitchen Mon 13-May-19 22:49:45

There was a man this afternoon who terrified me. Was walking with husband and pushing the pram. I just got a feeling down to my soul that he hated women.

Obviously I have no proof, but he made me shiver

dustarr73 Tue 14-May-19 08:33:34

Yesterday i was in a lift.And this fella got on,he really set me on edge.He was staring at my tattoos,and looked like he was going to say something.And he stood at an angle but was staring at me.Luckily i got off before him.

And i got a feeling i was going to be attacked,i never had that feeling before.It was awful.

MulticolourMophead Tue 14-May-19 08:44:28

I think when it comes to "perceiving evil" what's more likely to be happening is that a person's emotions will affect their body language, so we're back to the micro expressions thing. And if it's someone with that level of hate and ill will, itll be affecting their body language somehow.

pinkyredrose Tue 14-May-19 10:31:20

durstarr he was probably just looking at your tattoos.

ImTheDamnFoolThatShotHim Tue 14-May-19 10:46:17

I think at some basic level we can sense things from another living being.
As dogs are able to pick up chemical reactions in humans that warn of an imminent epileptic fit/migraine/insulin drop etc I think (hope) that other beings can detect love, my reasoning is that the feeling of love is also chemical?
Maybe some people emanate these chemicals when feeling intense anger, or hate, or when they imagine committing violence towards us, even though not one single word is said?
I don't know lol maybe I'm just getting a bit carried away 😁

Anonymous001 Tue 14-May-19 13:43:02

It's strange that people mention about DW. I've read some of the threads "nicest and nastiest celebs you've met", and his name has cropped up a few times for being creepy.. I personally don't find him creepy or feel wary when I see him on tele, he might come across a bit eccentric but I guess everyone has their own views of slebs.....

SnowyAlpsandPeaks Tue 14-May-19 14:30:28

I remember in 6th form, we had a new young bus driver. We were an 11-18 school, so young girls/boys as well as teens. The girls would get on and the way he looked them up and down, and when it was my turn to get it I would go cold and all goosebumps- it was the oddest feeling. Then one day I mentioned it to a friend and she said ‘OMG I feel the same, but I feel sick’.

Next day we went to see our deputy head and explained our weird feelings, and thought he would laugh us off. He wrote down ‘I’ve had 2 compliments from parents, no actually, 22 complaints from parents...’. He said basically you are 6th formers and part of your role is to ensure the safety and behaviour of the lower school on the school journey, if you both feel this way, I’m trusting your instincts’. He phoned the bus company that day and we never had the driver again. About 5 years after I left school, I read the bus driver was in court for sexually assaulting a teen a girl.

SnowyAlpsandPeaks Tue 14-May-19 18:42:29

Another strange one I can’t explain.

An ex colleague contacted me a few years ago, as she realised one of her patients was living somewhere I worked at the time. She asked me my thoughts on him.

So about 18 years ago I worked directly with service users in a low secure mental health unit. This one guy had committed some bad crimes 40 odd years ago. But he scared me! I remember one day walking down the stairs and he was sat in the dining room, as I looked in he turned his head slowly towards me then motioned with his hand ‘slit throat’. I shock it off after spending a day a little nervous.

Later that week he walked passed me in a corridor, suddenly turned around and pinned me against the walls, arms and all, I was stuck. But it was his eyes, they had turned pure black, and it was the second time I’d seen it happen. Luckily another service user walked passed and went straight to the nurses station and told them what was happening.

Two male Asian mental health nurses came running out (they are amazing guys whom I’m still in touch with). They basically said ‘let her go, or you go down to the floor’, he thought about it for about 8 seconds, let me go and walked off. I was shaking at this point, first time anything like this had happened to me.

Both nurses came either side of me, put their arm around me, and took me to the nurses station. They told someone to make me a strong cup of tea with several sugars.

So we start taking about the incident as you do when something happens, and I mention his eyes going black. They both looked at each other and I said ‘please don’t take the piss out of me’ and the one said ‘we aren’t we know what you mean’. The other then said ‘his eyes go so black he looks like ‘x’- I can’t remember the word he used and I said ‘I don’t know what that means’. The other turned around and said ‘he looks like what you say is the devil’,

Turns out they’d noticed it but when they’d asked the British nurses no one had seen it. Then I said ‘I know two support staff who have seen it too, but everyone else thinks we are seeing things!’

So the ex colleague who’d contacted me then said ‘that’s what I was going to ask you, because when his eye turn black it’s like pure evil and I’m scared working with him’.

I then emailed the one nurse, and brought this up, he replied in the hundreds of service users and patients he’s worked with since, he had never seen eyes turn black like that since.

So I’m 🤷🏻‍♀️As to what happen there!

Will add that I’m a child from an abusive childhood, who is also hyper vigilant (psychiatrist told me that) brilliant for working in mental health as I could defuse situations before they escalated and anyone realised something was wrong. I’ve also vacated pubs because I can feel in the air that it will all kick off, and after leaving it does. It’s handy being hyper vigilant but it can be tiring too!!

TheCountessofFitzdotterel Tue 14-May-19 20:47:08

Surely the eyes turning black would just be very, very dilated pupils?

dustarr73 Tue 14-May-19 21:32:32

@pinkyredrose He made me really nervous.Like it was only literally a couple of seconds in that lift but i cant explain it.Im used to people looking at my tattoos and asking questions.But he really set me on edge.

MaybeDoctor Tue 14-May-19 21:45:27

Mine was not sinister, but just an example of picking up vibes. We had some people around to do painting work.

We knew the painters fairly well and one was a pleasant man who had done work for us before in another flat. But there was a funny vibe about him that week. He had young children and I picked up a sense that he was discontent or frustrated or something.

One of my parents had just died and I was sent home from work early one Friday afternoon because it had all got too much for me. sad We'd had to postpone the painting work by a week due to the funeral etc. The painters were working and the one we knew asked me to give him a lift, to another house he was working in about a mile away. I did so, just for something to do really as I was so miserable and hanging around the house at a loose end, but when we pulled up outside he invited me in 'to see the wooden floors'.

I said no, I shouldn't go into someone else's house. He invited me in, really persistently. There was something odd about how persistent he was. I just said no again and in the end he gave up and got out of the car.

Putting two and two together he was looking for extra-marital sex and thought that, in the middle of bereavement, I was probably a very soft target and wouldn't put up much resistence. sad

EBearhug Tue 14-May-19 22:58:15

Surely the eyes turning black would just be very, very dilated pupils?

I would assume so, but it's still not a normal reaction. Have you ever seen it happen with someone? Pretty sure I haven't, so I think I would feel pretty freaked out if I did see it.

MellowMelly Tue 14-May-19 23:13:52

I stepped off a train late one night with my ex and immediately I was drawn to a man sitting on a bench seemingly waiting for a train. But then he looked at me and I knew he was bad.
We left the train station and I said to my ex that this man had given me a bad feeling. Ex told me not to be silly (famous last words).
As we walked I just knew he was behind us so I looked round and he was following us. I stopped walking and froze still and he pulled a knife out.
If it hadn’t of been for another couple exiting the train station and disturbing him (he ran off) I’m pretty sure we were about to be mugged!

Graphista Wed 15-May-19 02:56:01

"Surely the eyes turning black would just be very, very dilated pupils?" Yes but it's WHY they turn black is the issue. Pupils generally dilate in response to arousal if there's no change in lighting - this guy gets off on inciting fear!

TheCountessofFitzdotterel Wed 15-May-19 07:44:35

'"Surely the eyes turning black would just be very, very dilated pupils?" Yes but it's WHY they turn black is the issue. Pupils generally dilate in response to arousal if there's no change in lighting - this guy gets off on inciting fear!'

Exactly. I am not surprised the poster was freaked out by it and it sounds horrible. Her story rang completely true to me. But she described it as a strange one she couldn't explain, and I think it is easily and horribly explicable.

DarlingCoffee Wed 15-May-19 08:46:10

I have experience what some people have described as a face pulling incident on a train a long time ago. I can assure you it was not a hallucination as it happened really quickly, but then the person passed and everything went back to normal. But for a moment I honestly felt like time froze.

Hiddenaspie1973 Wed 15-May-19 08:54:38

My Dd has always said DW seems creepy. Since she was about 9.

Claphands Wed 15-May-19 09:04:27

I’m an ex police officer and most of this is you picking up on micro facial expressions and body language or ‘out of place’ things or behaviour, not to be dismissed as it’s your protection, we are only animals after all yet ignore those gut feelings and signs of danger at our peril!
I used to work on a sexual offences unit and when asked what advice I could give to keep oneself safe (by victims) I used to say ‘trust your instincts, if you don’t like the look of someone or what they’re doing don’t feel the need to polite, walk away’

I don’t get the scared feeling but obviously I do pick up on things from people and situations and act accordingly, and I do often know when I’m being lied to or I can spot easily when someone’s up to something. The thing is, if you trust that little voice within you, you won’t always know if you’re right as the bad thing won’t happen to you if you walk away or avoid.

Also, I don’t see the world in black and white, good or evil- people are grey definitely! True evil is rare I think.

BasilBooBoo Wed 15-May-19 09:08:31

Your daughter finds her Mother creepy? Why is that?

RiversDisguise Wed 15-May-19 09:10:00

Who is DW? Dennis Waterman?

DianaPrincessOfThemyscira Wed 15-May-19 09:12:52

I never ever have this. I have to have something more than standing by someone to trigger a response.

OneStepSideways Wed 15-May-19 09:23:31

I worked in mental health for years, I've occasionally seen a person eyes turn 'completely black' in the way you describe, when they're experiencing extreme emotion. I put it down to sudden dilation of pupils, which can happen when you get a massive adrenaline rush, eg just before attacking. During PMVA training we were taught to look out for a sudden dilation of pupils, along with other tiny signs like widening of the eyes, rocking forward on the toes, as signs someone is escalating. I believe certain meds can also cause dilation of the pupils, so if they were already dilated it wouldn't take much to dilate them to the point the iris was almost obscured.

OneStepSideways Wed 15-May-19 09:32:23

I've remembered another time I felt very uneasy, without due cause. I was working for an agency and took a late shift at a psychiatric unit I'd never worked at before. It was about 15mins drive from the town, I was only 20, and at 9pm I was about to book my taxi home. The nurse in charge, a man in his 50s, offered me a lift. I felt really uncomfortable accepting but thought it would be rude not to. Also he asked me in front of everyone so I felt embarrassed to say no.

On the way home, dark country lanes, he suddenly pulled over in a lay by and stared at me. I was terrified. He stared at me for a few minutes, then told me I shouldn't accept lifts from strangers! Then he drove on. I asked him to drop me at my boyfriend's house, he made some sarky comments about that.
Nothing else happened but it really shook me up.

To this day I'm not sure if he did it to scare me in a sadistic way, or to teach me a lesson about safety, or if he was about to try something and changed his mind. I do wonder if he would have tried something if he'd dropped me at my flat, as I'd originally asked him to and had told him I lived alone.

FairyDogMother11 Wed 15-May-19 09:34:14

I always get feelings about people, good or bad. I'll announce that something is not right about someone/that they're a genuine person having met them only once for a few minuted. My friends always laugh at me but I've never been wrong!

RiversDisguise Wed 15-May-19 09:39:26

Dale Winton?
David walliams?

NottonightJosepheen Wed 15-May-19 10:02:35


What an absolute creep. If things had gone a little differently in his life, he sounds like a serial killer candidate. He wanted to terrify you.

Anyway, I'm not convinced he isn't a rapist or murderer...revolting man.

Sarcelle Wed 15-May-19 10:05:05


BertrandRussell Wed 15-May-19 10:05:11

Onestepsideways example isn’t if instinctively thinking somebody is creepy, though. It’s an example of a vile man actually being creepy!

Justaboy Wed 15-May-19 12:40:50


This dialated pupils or mydriasis can be induced by several things including drugs prescribed ones and naughty bad ones as well as brain injury and disease and it did happen to me once as I had to have a certian type of eye exam where you are told NOT to drive home afterwards as yoiur pupils will be dilated big time the iris thats the colured bit dispaers almost so you cannt see it and it does make you look very wierd i did have a photo taken now lost and if it was under some circumstances it'd make most folk shit scred twice over!

Image of it here!.

BasilBooBoo Wed 15-May-19 13:13:31

Oh sorry @Hiddenaspie1973 DW stands for someone else. Did think DW meaning your wife was a bit strange.

Oliversmumsarmy Wed 15-May-19 13:19:17

Dilated pupils also can be genetic. Dp has huge pupils and so does Dd.

ShadowsInTheDarkness Wed 15-May-19 13:59:49

I had this the other week in B&M! Busy Saturday afternoon, was down one aisle looking at laundry bins with DH. Chap with 2 small girls came down the aisle, and he moved behind me to pick a storage box up from the bottom of the shelf and it was like a warning klaxon was going off in my head. I pretty much flung myself out of the way and dragged DH down a different aisle. Nothing to explain it, he looked friendly and was totally focused on his kids (so no staring at me or weird looks etc) His children seemed "normal" - not subdued or anything. We had been out in busy shops all day and continued shopping for a few hours after the incident, and not one single other person had any kind of negative affect on me.

I have been in a DV relationship before, and no this chap had no resemblance to ex at all apart from being the same skin colour, and I'm not generally jumpy but do value my instincts now as I had bad feelings about ex when I met him but allowed myself to explain them away. So I reckon there was something about this chap my subconscious was picking up on.

DerrenBrownings Wed 15-May-19 14:09:47

I think its ok in terms of being sued to say the name of whoever DW is I.e "I think David walliams is creepy" I think is fine? I dont think you're in illegal territory there!

Bigfanofcheese Thu 16-May-19 12:39:12

Just had to add to this thread as I've had the weirdest feeling off a very-near-stranger.

Had this once years ago about a man I passed in the street, nothing remarkable about his appearance, broad daylight but he really put the fear of God up me.

However today, I have just met a young lady (late teens) at a hospital volunteering event and got the strongest feeling of 'avoid her like the plague' I have ever felt! She was again unremarkable in her appearance (although quite a nice looking girl) and very self possessed and articulate.

I just got the oddest sense that she would stab someone in the back with ease (figuratively), even relish making trouble for them. We are aiming at getting into the same profession, me as a mature graduate, her as an undergrad and I am just left hoping that we aren't ever on the same course or ward. For absolutely no rational reason.

I am well aware this is not a nice thing to think about a young woman who is probably very nice and is volunteering to help patients but it has taken me aback somewhat!!

Sarcelle Thu 16-May-19 13:10:12

Bigfan- I had the same feeling about somebody new once. For some reason I thought she would be trouble for me even though I would not be working with her.

Jump forward a few years and I was working with her. And yes, she was trouble for me. Caused me a lot of stress and sleepless nights.

Bigfanofcheese Thu 16-May-19 15:02:11

Sorry to hear about that Sarcelle what an awful time for you.

I'm just having a retrospective think about any subtle behaviours or expressions this girl showed and I think it may have been partly holding your gaze a bit too long and smiling very slightly in a certain patronising way. I know that sounds ridiculous but i suppose it suggested a sort of extreme confidence and attempt at power which was at odds with her general, quite low key demeanour and appearance.

Lizzie48 Thu 16-May-19 17:46:20

My DSis and I suffered SA as children at the hands of quite a few abusers (one of them our F). My DM sadly had no idea that he was up to anything, but she did have a strong reaction to one of our abusers, a man who befriended us at a hotel when we were on holday. And she was right to be concerned, he was grooming us.

Sadly, all she said to us was that we mustn’t annoy him by going to his room. This led to him encouraging us to go there behind our DM’s back. Having lured us there, he and another man inflicted a serious assault on us. It’s the one assault where the police were able to make an arrest. Sadly, the CPS decided that there wasn’t enough evidence. The man who befriended us was dead; we didn’t know the other man and the police traced him through our description, as he had been on the hotel staff. That ID wasn’t sufficient, sadly, though the police were sure they had their man.

This makes me sad, as it was the closest my DM came to discovering what was going on. She had her instinct about the man but she never guessed that anything bad had actually happened.

beanaseireann Thu 16-May-19 18:35:40

Oh Lizzie.

ThatCurlyGirl Thu 16-May-19 18:48:09

I'm so sorry @Lizzie48 thanksthanksthanksthanksthanks

Bigfanofcheese Thu 16-May-19 19:35:07

I'm so sorry Lizzie flowers

Lizzie48 Thu 16-May-19 20:15:26

Thank you for your kind words. My DSis and I have both suffered from PTSD and we’ve been undergoing therapy for what we went through. It’s also been heartbreaking for my DM to realise how much she didn’t know.

Aguamenti Fri 17-May-19 11:17:36

@Devilinatwinset I see where you are coming from. There is an urdu poet who once said that 'I laugh at humans, they do the sin themselves and blame it on devil". So although I do believe in devil and that he encourages humans to sin, the fact it that those people chose to act on them. We humans have been given the gift of choice. A choice between being evil and good and it is us who takes the responsibility for making those choices.

Devilinatwinset Fri 17-May-19 11:58:11

But that still gives people the opportunity to place blame elsewhere ie on this EXTERNAL force or influence. I think it's nonsense. Pure tripe as we say in these parts. The Pope is still using that argument to avoid taking responsibility for the systemic abuse of children at the hands of men & women 'of god'. I think that the reasons that people do awful things are highly complex - a result of a combination of nature & nurture, inborn inclination or propensity for bad & environment or circumstances that set someone on a path. Some people will do bad things when they see an opportunity and some people will stop at nothing to satisfy their own ends. But it's not because there's some deviant spirit whispering in their ear (that's figurative btw)

Mymomsbetterthanyomom Thu 30-May-19 01:58:12

Oh my gracious that had to have been so scary!😱

WhyisntMusicManacareeroption Thu 30-May-19 11:01:29

I was once walking to my boyfriend's from the bus stop (about 3am as I worked in a nightclub). A man was walking ahead of me and suddenly turned left off the pavement behind a little wall. There were lots of trees there and I could see he was stood amongst them. I instantly walked down the road. After I got past him, he got out and wandered off.

Obviously not evil, and I am a good judge of people (emotionally abusive parent) but still, my instincts were telling me to stay the hell away. I'm lucky enough to never have seen pure evil because I would probably shout!

@MitziK, your post was compelling. I would read a book about your life, I hope things are better now.

Bluffinwithmymuffin Thu 30-May-19 13:40:14

Today 11:01 WhyisntMusicManacareeroption

@MitziK, your post was compelling. I would read a book about your life,

What an odd thing to say... There are plenty of misery memoirs out there, whyisntmusicman, for weird people who enjoy reading about abuse.

WhyisntMusicManacareeroption Thu 30-May-19 14:23:35

Maybe it was an odd thing to say, Bluffin.
Sorry MitziK. I don't know what I mean but it certainly gave me an insight into how some people learn to cope with abuse that I never thought of before.

Bluffinwithmymuffin Thu 30-May-19 15:01:34

Okay. Fair enough

teacakes44 Thu 30-May-19 15:04:54

Years ago I was getting on a bus at Uxbridge station- long before mobiles - a guy starting chatting asking was I getting on the bus etc at first he seemed ok then I just felt he was too over friendly. My worry was I had quite a long walk from the bus stop to my house - along quite dark streets as I remember. Anyway I carried on chatting a bit, got on the bus then just as it started up I jumped up & got off, the bus driver pulled off & he couldn’t do anything about it
I watched him watch me in disbelief as the the bus pulled away. That was nearly 30 years ago & ive never forgotten it
Thank goodness for mobiles now at least you can alert someone if you need to

LadyOfTheCanyon Thu 30-May-19 16:07:38

Oh God Uxbridge station was full of nutters back in the day. Late 80s I rang a cab from the phone box to pick me up at the bus station. They always asked you to stand at the back entrance to Woolworths for ease of finding you. It was about 1am and deserted. The cab firm had said about 20 minutes. The station was deserted.

20 minutes later a car pulled up so I got in.

Well turns out the guy wasn't from the cab firm but just a lone nutbag who liked to drive around looking for random women to help out. I didn't let him drive me home, I chatted nicely even though he was clearly mad, and then when reasonably near my house I told him to drop me off and then sprinted up an alley and hid in someone's garden for about half an hour before I felt it was safe to actually go home.

That'll learn me!

teacakes44 Thu 30-May-19 16:32:05

Blimey crikey! I have many fond memories of Uxbridge but that one isn’t one of them!

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