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Child using potty in public

(244 Posts)
Moominfan Mon 06-May-19 19:15:59

I'm pretty easy going, bordering on complacent to mumsnet standards. Went to a fair today. Kid and dad in queue. Dad whips out Potty and the kid does their business there and then. Is this what I have to look forward to? Mines not potty trained yet. Would most people atleast go hide behind a bush or something? There were loads of people around. Place was heaving.

TeddybearBaby Tue 07-May-19 22:29:08

I think it’s really off that parents think it’s ok to inflict their child’s piss and shit on everyone else. Not to mention the fact that private’s should be that ‘private’ and it’s unhealthy to teach a child that they can crap whenever the feeling takes them. They can’t even get to an area away from wandering eyes for goodness sake. I still don’t know if these kids that are shitting in the middle of the supermarket are also having their arses wiped in front of everyone 🤷🏻‍♀️.

Ps I have never had a child who couldn’t hold a poo, it’s not usually as urgent as wee.

TheBubGrower Tue 07-May-19 22:32:04

How many children have you had teddy? I'm guessing no more than a handful, hardly representative of the general populus. Some children can't hold a poo. All children are different

TeddybearBaby Tue 07-May-19 22:36:06

And that’s fine! If you want to carry a potty, I think it’s yuk but my real problem with this is not even putting the potty somewhere discreet. I will never ever agree that it’s appropriate to teach your child to empty their bowls in the middle of a crowd. Never.

I’ve had two children.

Copperandtod Tue 07-May-19 22:38:43

Agree entirely teddy bear. Anyone who thinks it’s okay is a disgrace

TheBubGrower Tue 07-May-19 22:39:12

I agree it should be discrete, wherever possible of course. But I also think there may be emergency situations where it's not immediately possible to find somewhere completely private, and in which case it's less dignified to let the child soil themselves.

TheBubGrower Tue 07-May-19 22:40:18

"A disgrace" is a bit harsh, FFS

Copperandtod Tue 07-May-19 22:42:57

Really? Don’t think so, but then some of us have basic standards

TheBubGrower Tue 07-May-19 22:44:28

I wish there was a klaxon on mumsnet for "perfect parent alert"

Stuckforthefourthtime Tue 07-May-19 22:51:02

I feel that 'not asking a child who to poo in the middle of a queue' is pretty standard parenting, actually.
Potty user or dedicated bush wee-er, there are ways to let your child toilet train without either shaming them about body functions OR requiring strangers to experience the full glory of a toddler shit.

FlamingGalar Tue 07-May-19 22:57:34

I had to do this once with my older dd when potty training. I think I kind of panicked really! Never needed to with dd2.
It was just a wee but better in a potty than all over the floor in my opinion. I used a potette which has an absorbent pad in the bottom so it could be discreetly tied up and disposed of so no bush flinging. Needs must sometimes

Beeziekn33ze Tue 07-May-19 23:03:46

A friend used to reckon that her DS’s potty was the only one to have been to the top of the Empire State Building. Reading this thread I think she may have been wrong!

BarbarianMum Tue 07-May-19 23:04:38

You need 30 for a statistically significant sample Teddy so why don't you trot off and potty train another 28 then come back and tell us your findings?

TeddybearBaby Tue 07-May-19 23:11:19

And then my opinion will be more valid? Maybe just accept my view and that it’s different from yours? 🤷🏻‍♀️

Macca84 Tue 07-May-19 23:16:01

You don't have to be a perfect parent to know it's not ok to teach your kids that it's normal to whip their trousers/underwear off in front of a bunch of strangers.

And what IS this with comparing kids to dogs? I'd say I'm more comparable as a fellow human - am I ok to squat and have a piss outside Tesco's by the same logic?

TheBubGrower Tue 07-May-19 23:17:59

teddy I think the point is exactly that, different people have different experiences and all children pick up toilet training at different rates. Just because some parents on here have children who were perfect with it from day dot, it doesn't mean all children should be expected to be the same. Some children take longer to learn, some children can't hold it in very well. It's not as simple as "if they don't get it instantly they are not ready". There are so many variables at play. People are too quick to judge and to call it lazy parenting. Yes, the queue situation is a bit outlandish but the use of potties on the go, in general, is not entirely mental or ghastly IMO (if used as discretely as the situation allows) for some children who may actually require that option.

Hotterthanahotthing Tue 07-May-19 23:50:43

My DD didn't like pottys so when she ditched her nappies we had to make to the upstairs loo in time so she learned to hold on.
Out and about in cities no problems as she loved trying out new toilets and seeing if the seats were as big as ours.More locally though there are no toilets so we had to find a quiet alley and she would wee down the drain.She could hold onto poos so that was never a problem.This was only an issue for a few months when she needed to go but only told me when she couldn't hold any longer.
She 15 now and when she was little other mums and dads did the same when caught short .

Hotterthanahotthing Tue 07-May-19 23:51:25

I meant did the same with their children not themselves.

RainbowWaffles Wed 08-May-19 04:56:48

* All children are different*

Ah yes, that popular cry when anyone dare attempt to assert some kind of standard. You can’t judge, just because you didn’t need to doesn’t mean everyone else doesn’t, we are all different. Magnified by 100 when related to a child.

TheBubGrower Wed 08-May-19 07:12:09

Well yes actually rainbow 🤣 that seems like a more tolerant way to live.

So, let me get this right, the "standard" according to mumsnet is: pissing or shitting in bushes/ down drains and leaving the excrement there = absolutely fine; taking a potty so child can use it in said bush (I appreciate this is different to the scenario in OP but I'm talking about the wider argument here about whether potties on the go are ever acceptable, which is what this debate seems to have become) = you disgraceful heathen. Right... Also, if you failed to toilet train your child immediately to the point where they can hold it in indefinitely until you get to the next toilet in any public situation = you are a lazy, useless, parent. Did I get it right?

outvoid Wed 08-May-19 07:16:47

I’ve seen this a handful of times as well including in the middle of a supermarket confused. Potty trained three DC and can confirm, I never took a potty outside with me! I don’t understand why it’s necessary.

Yabbers Wed 08-May-19 07:40:20

That’s nasty.

Another example of the entitled generation of parents raising the entitled generation of kids.

Went out plenty when we toilet trained DD. We never used a potty as she couldn’t sit on them. We made sure wherever we were, there were toilets, went before we left, after lunch etc. We drove long distances. Never once had her do her business in public. It can be done, it just takes more organisation by the parent and so isn’t the easiest option.

InTheEndgameNow Wed 08-May-19 07:41:40

A travel potty has its uses. Our DD got "wees" straight away, but poos took about six months. There was no way I was putting my life on hold for that amount of time.

When in town we would run to the nearest loo, and in a soft play we would use a pull up.

However we live in a rural area and do lots of walks. Rural wees behind bushes are fine, but poos are more problematic, so a travel potty with a bag was a life saver. Tie the bag up and take it home, job done.

There's no way I'd let her use it in a shop or cafe though.

nomad5 Wed 08-May-19 07:47:26

When we were on holiday in Italy when DS was potty training, he used our foldable travel potty and a bag (for a wee only!!) in one of the courtyards of the Vatican grin I expect I was VVVU according to some on this thread. However it was a long sprint to the toilets and the (chuckling) staff agreed a discreet potty in a secluded part of a courtyard was better than an accident. We are all god's creatures, no??? grin

SnuggyBuggy Wed 08-May-19 08:14:27

To be fair with the closures of public toilets lately maybe people pissing in gutters will be a more common sight

MidniteScribbler Wed 08-May-19 09:43:35

To their credit, no-one (staff or customers) said anything.

Not to your face.

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