Child using potty in public

You were by the sea down south weren't you!! I saw the exact same thing today and thought "that's mumsnet worthy" but honestly I just felt a bit bad for the little boy in amongst a load of people just sitting there in a field having a shit in his potty! I guess it's all just part of potty training.

He probably did it so they didn't lose their place in the queue

If the child is very new to potty training it has to happen whenever, wherever. Did you not take your children out at this stage?

If that is the case, I judge you more than that Dad!

Just re-read,, OP is not yet at this stage... says it all really.

We can all be the perfect parent to children we haven't had yet, also for the stage we are not at yet.

How close were the toilets? Unless they were 10 foot away without a queue then I’d say you’re unreasonable. You don’t know if the child would have wet themselves if they left to find a toilet

If the child is very new to potty training it has to happen whenever, wherever

This really.

I never did this with either of mine. In general I waited until they could at least hold it for a few minutes to dash to a toilet or secluded spot then I stayed in for a few days until they got the hang of it and we were off. What happens if you're in a restaurant? Or a school play? If your child can't wait even a minute they're not ready!

This could of been me today. On week 2 of training went to the high street toddler needs a wee so put her in a closed doorway on the potty. There are no public toilets around and she has to go 'now!' Would you not rather a potty than a pee or poo all over the floor?

I never brought a potty with me when I was toilet training and have never seen anyone do this in real life.

So where does it go once it's in the potty?

It was an outdoor grassy area, plenty of more discrete places around although toilets not near by

Yea we're not at this stage yet the dad picked it up and chucked it in a bush

Ridiculous
I saw someone whip one out in the frozen section of our local large Tesco and vowed never to use one.

Haha yes figgy I'm wondering how to go about potty training without a potty now

For a wee and with a small child so 2-3yo max then I wouldn’t mind, they can’t always wait.

Potties are just part of the kit if the child is keen but not particularly getting it.

On balance I probably would have left the queue and found somewhere nearby to get it done but I can quite imagine a scenario where dp just wouldn’t think about it. I’ve had a couple of acquaintances behave similarly.

The bush disposal doesn’t really bother me either to be honest.

It’s really hard in the early stages of potting training. I had to take a potty everywhere but I always tried to be discrete about it though

4 children and no one ever did that, and I don't think I'm out of the ordinary. It's gross.

I have never ever used a potty in public in this way and think it's pretty grim. I used to keep a pull up in my handbag for truly desperate situations (e.g., child announcing ten minutes into a 45 minute bus ride that they needed a wee) and there were one or two al fresco wees behind a reasonably secluded tree or bush but never a potty. How do you even clean it afterwards!?

I have done similar many times. I'm pretty sure I was judged, cause that's how perfect everyone else is. Especially those who have no idea what potty training entails or how difficult in can be I promise you, you will be eating your words when your time comes

I really don't see how it's any different from a child standing next to you, pooing or weeing in a nappy. Which imo is pretty grim when you think about it, as it's not discarded immediately like the contents of a potty are.

I'm not au fait with it but what do you do with the potty once used. Carry it or have they become a contraption of sorts which you can lock/unlock as required?

But wrt potty training I suppose it's just that - training. Oddly enough I'd find public potty training a lot more contentious than breast-feeding which some people still think is an act of treachery in 2019.

I am aware that some people consider it necessary but I find it odd. If you need to do that then they aren’t properly ready. Lots of people seem to force potty training and moving to toddler beds etc before children are ready and make it really hard work.

YANBU, he should have taken him somewhere a little more discreet. One of the benefits of training later, is that the having-to-carry-a-potty-everywhere stage tends to be much shorter. Do not underestimate the benefit of this!

For most children, if you wait until they're ready then if doesn't take very long for them to be reliably dry/clean. They'll have a occasional accident here and there because that's small children for you but on the whole they'll be reliable enough that you can almost always get them to a toilet in time.

If the child is very new to potty training it has to happen whenever, wherever
Not really. Plenty of people don't do it. I managed to potty train three without taking a potty out in public so don't worry OP!

That's grim. I've potty trained 2 and the most we've had to do is the occasional 'nature wee'. If the child can't wait 2 mins to find a loo or discreet place to use the potty then they are not ready! We never used a potty as mine didn't like it so we just planned all outings in the early days around the location of various toilets!

Hilarious. But no, not what I want to see. My child took months to train, he just couldn't grasp it. I can't remember how we handled it but I don't think we ever did that. But we were known to whip it out, outside in a secluded area.
Didn't use a potty with my second, 3 days and he had grasped it on the loo. No disgusting potty cleaning. Much nicer. Kids are all different though. Do what works for you

Grim. You have to plan round not going out / far at all when potty training. It's not forever.

I have never ever used a potty in public in this way and think it's pretty grim. I used to keep a pull up in my handbag for truly desperate situations (e.g., child announcing ten minutes into a 45 minute bus ride that they needed a wee)

Congratulations on going against all toileting advice ever given! Well done on feeling so smug for doing that too!

I've potty trained three DC of my own and about to try and potty train a fourth in the next few weeks.

I really don't see how it's any different from a child standing next to you, pooing or weeing in a nappy. Which imo is pretty grim when you think about it, as it's not discarded immediately like the contents of a potty are

When it's done in a nappy, it's contained within the nappy where no one has to look at it unless they're the one changing it.

This made me ‘lol’. Never heard of it. I got through potty training with neither of mine having to take a dump in the middle of a sea of spectators, jeez talk about giving your child zero dignity 🙈. OMG I’ve just pictured me then having to wander around trying to get through people while I found somewhere to dispose of the piss and shit. Just hold it out at arms length and shout excuse me I guess. OMG what a mental image 😱

A week ago I'd have said the same as the OP, but now potty training child #2 I'd be grateful if she'd use a potty rather than just pull her pants down and go on the ground every time I turn round!!

Congratulations on going against all toileting advice ever given! Well done on feeling so smug for doing that too!

Where did I say I felt smug?

And as for potty training advice, I followed my child's lead and did what worked for us. All three were reliably dry/clean within a week of starting. The emergency pull-up was exactly that, for emergencies.

I have never ever had to use a potty in public like that. Maybe I got lucky but I preferred to constantly ask her/ take her/ make sure she didn't need one before we did things that took a while. Had we been in the queue, I would have definitely got out and found a toilet (and I'd have had to as I never carried a potty with me!).

Guess in emergencies, sure, but as a regular thing, nah.

Oh get over it OP! It was a toddler on the potty so bloody what?! Would you rather they had to shit themselves?

I've just toilet trained my DC and would never subject other people to that! I hate it when people do that with their kids or change them on seats in cafes/restaurants instead of taking them to the baby change! Just because you don't mind being subjected to your child's waste doesn't mean everyone around you has to be exposed to it

we don't use potty's - we stayed in/near the house for 3 days to toilet train and that was it - I did leave it until they were nearly 3 through - I personally don't agree with Potty's as they just teach a child that that they can shit/wee where they like instead of making it to the nearest loo!

I hadn't thought about this until my sister started training my niece. She has a portable potty with a disposable liner to collect.

Honestly?

My DS is doing well on toilet training and has minimal accidents BUT being 2 and a half doesn’t give much notice of the need to wee or poo. Obviously I try to mitigate this by taking him to the loo before we leave the house and as soon as we reach available loos. But sometimes it’s not possible - today we were having coffee in a cafe in the financial city district of London (relevant as because it’s a bank holiday 99% of things were closed) before doing to meet family and the only cafe open in which we could sit inside and feed my tiny baby had no loo. Ten mins in DS announced ‘need poo’. No public loos or cafe loos anywhere around - so took temporary potty down quietest alley I could find nearby for him to poo. It’s one that has disposable bags you can fit in it so threw it in a bin, sterilised both our hands with alcohol gel and returned to cafe.

Would love anyone who thinks that is ‘grim’ to advise on what they would have done.

When my DD was potty training, like that first few days... if she said wee wee I would whip out a potty regardless of where I was.

I wouldn't do it in a queue or anything (although that's probably just cause I was lucky and she never needed to go in a queue), but I have done it in the street (shielding her for her privacy).

It's hard when you are first potty training, you have literally 10seconds from them saying wee wee, to them actually doing it regardless of if they are on a loo/potty

Yes you do that in the early days. I would always try to get to a loo but if it wasn’t possible then pretty much anywhere, although we’d try to stand to the side/ away rather than take centre stage lol

“I have never ever used a potty in public in this way and think it's pretty grim. I used to keep a pull up in my handbag for truly desperate situations (e.g., child announcing ten minutes into a 45 minute bus ride that they needed a wee)”

Once my D.C. had decided they wanted knickers instead of nappies there is absolutely no way they’d have got back into a pull up. How backwards 🤣

My LO is potty training now and its pretty daunting for us both. I'm having to carry a seat booster thing for proper toilets and a portable potty with a lid for when we aren't near a toilet (plus a bag full of trousers & pants).

He just doesn't have the control to hold it for long. When he tells me he needs to go, its RIGHT NOW.

Hes still learning and I don't want to make him more uncomfortable as hes done well quickly but we were in a DIY store on the weekend with no toilet and we had to get the potty out. The alternative would be wetting himself (and the floor). Its not ideal but I don't think this stage lasts too long.

Never even heard of people taking a potty out with them for use in public

Maybe I just got lucky with my kids that they learned very fast, but thats why they had emergency pull ups on in the early days. I wont be taking a potty out and about with this baby either- have never, ever seen it where I live and could only imagine the looks of shock I'd get if I did!!

Once my D.C. had decided they wanted knickers instead of nappies there is absolutely no way they’d have got back into a pull up. How backwards

Practical rather than backwards, easy to remove the pull up afterwards and bag/bin it once able. Mine weren't fussed about it when it was an urgent situation and it only happened once it twice per DC in the early days.

I used a potette fold up in your bag, bio degradable plastic bag liner with absorbent pad. Really useful for emergency wee’s. Not in a q, we went out of sight, but we love rurally so maybe it’s different. No one saw us use it. Somethings we used it in the back of the car. Saves accidents. In this part of the world there aren’t many public loos left at all. council cutbacks.

I never bought a travel potty but did bag up with house one and take with me. It literally lasted about 2 weeks before toddler was able to hold it long enough to run to a toilet or bush, but at the start of potty training it was necessary unless I wanted to use nappies when out which I didn’t, we went cold turkey.

I can't believe all these disgusting parents who use potties in public, a DIY store?? (my DD did once try to use a toilet in the DIY store though!)

Yes, I have potty trained, dealt with accidents, had to do the occasional pee at the side of the park and mad dashes to the toilet but never would have considered using a potty in public.

Pull ups for early days until your child has enough control to make it to a toilet.

My DC are now teenagers, is this really a fad now?

We didn't take a potty with DD1 and she ended up having a lot of accidents. With DD2 we got a travel potty which has a lid that closes everything in. We probably used it maybe 4 times in the first 2 weeks - but always in the most discreet place possible (if that was possible!). Since that point we've just taken it everywhere and told her that she needed to try and wait until we were at a toilet. She's always managed it but she clicked very quickly with potty training and it entirely depends on the child.

Honestly when they need to go they need to go.

My DS uses the potty in public wherever he needed to - middle of John Lewis once I recall. When they got to go they got to go! A toilet 30 seconds away is too far for a child who is only just learning to hold it. He probably wouldn't have made it to the toilet if I'd made him wait. That would have been wet clothes, him being upset and a step backwards. As it was because we were so open and chilled about potty training he cracked it very quickly.

I skipped the potty stage, I watched my niece struggle transitioning from potty to toilet so decided to skip it with my own DD. Worked for us.

No two children and I've never had to do this. In the middle of a shop either, no. Someone brought a potty to a kids club, toilets right outside, I thought that was ridiculous.

For at home we got toilet seats with a fold down child/toddler seat inside the bottom of the lid, they were around £30 from Argos. They were brilliant, would recommend them to anyone looking to go from nappies to toilet without using a potty.

This is unnecesary and gross. I don't know why parents do it. I have potty trained 2 kids and never carried a potty around with me.

Agree it’s grim. Even more so when people do it in restaurants or cafes etc.

Never even crossed my mind to do such a thing, you go to the toilets. I never carried a potty around, we had a seat thing and step for our home toilet but out you just help them balance on the toilet.

I've toilet trained two boys. I've never taken a potty out, just went straight to toilet when out. If you can't get them to the toilet then they probably arnlent ready

I was at a local farm today a lady whipped out a potty in the middle of the play area, child (around 3) sat and did a huge shit. Mum then shoved the full potty under the picnic table while they finished their lunch...
I was a bit especially at there was a public toilet next to the play area.

This has to be a wind up surely. Whipping out a potty in the middle of John Lewis or anywhere else. Outrageous!!!

There are public’s toilets. Where any person no matter what age should be toileting unless they are in a nappy!!!

I wouldn't want my kids going to the toilet infront of other people private parts stay private

We had a little portable potty when training but only ever used it in the cubicle- DS wouldn’t use a loo at first. Also by the side of the road on long car journeys!

Dobby...r u Cumbria? We don't have many Loos left at all

Us today. At a Fate. She went before we left then 10 mins later she wanted to go again. DP took her to the toilets but it was too late. So a trip to the car for a wee in the potty and change of clothes. So far today we've had a wee in the potty in a field, in Waitrose car park and I've just realised it can fit in the passenger footwell of our car so that's warmer.

As it was because we were so open and chilled about potty training he cracked it very quickly.

Ridiculously inappropriate and selfish of you. If you need to get a potty out in John Lewis your child isn't ready for potty training. Other shoppers don't want to see your kid's shit!

I waited until they were ready which is why they cracked it so quickly. They were 2.2yo, 2.10yo, and 3yo and all reliably clean/dry within a week.

YANBU.

Plenty of people manage to crack potty training without whipping out an actual potty in public. Bloody hell.

Now I await all the accusations of trying to claim I'm some sort of 'perfect parent'. Uh, no, this is absolutel base level parenting.

I waited until my son was doing a few hours with a dry nappy and it honestly was no stress. He was about 3yrs 3 months.
I know a lot of people think this is late, but to me spending months taking them to the toilet every half an hour is pointless!
He does a wee before we go out and every couple of hours while we're out and he's fine with going on the toilet, just no hand drivers as he calls them lol

nope, never brought a potty with us (and also never stayed in for days during potty training - just waited until they were ready). and we always at least went a couple of meters away from other people. if a child can’t wait 30 seconds to 1 minute, they aren’t really potty trained yet, just relying on parents rather than a nappy.

Abbazed no, South West. That’s sad to hear you too have a lack of loo. We are a tourist area. Last week I saw the postie run to the loo block in the middle of rural village to find loo block locked. Next village on was the same, locked loos. The council can’t afford to run them. Don’t know where people go..

I’ve had people ask me where the nearest one is and I don’t know. No shops or cafes here. No loos either. Used to be public loos in the villages but they’ve all gone.

People in towns and cities can’t imagine that there really aren’t public loos. Pubs don’t open in the day, so that’s no good.

thats hellish

Can I explain that I wasn’t following the postie. I drove on to the next village and popped into see a friend who has a cafe. She said her single loo was getting huge traffic as the village loo block was getting repaired and it was shut for the foreseeable. So that was two rural touristy villages next door to each other with no public loo.

Ah balls to this. I've potty trained two and loved the porta potty, always had it with me. Even when children are ready they still make urgent announcements at the very last minute - I'd whip it out anywhere.

Having said that, I'd have dashed to a more discreet area if I could but sometimes it is that desperate.

We have one awful public toilet in town. It's a rural town with barely anything left.

@DobbyTheHouseElk Absolutely. I'm near a big village without a public toilet.

We never really trained ours per se tbh, when they were ready they just kind of did it. The odd accident along the way but that's par of the course isn't it.

Never owned a potty either. But I can understand why it can sometimes be necessary when out and about.

When a kid is new to potty training and has to go, it's pretty much right then and then. I bought a my potty carry which folds in two and has a water tight seal on it, no need to dispose off until near a loo.

Middle of John Lewis is disgusting! Typical self entitled parent behaviour that thinks they are more entitled than anyone else just because they have reproduced.

Before we go out I check if DC needs the loo and then when we get wherever we are going I ask again - John Lewis has loos on most floors so no excuse to subject everyone else to your child's piss and shit

We watch dogs shit any and everywhere but draw the lines at humans?

I waited until the summer to potty train DS and we stayed at home for 2/3 days and suddenly he just got it! I am not sure I could have carried a potty around with me - I would have felt too self-conscious, and what a faff...

Dinosaurs that is absolutely grim

To be fair elephant dogs are really endearing and likeable. Toddlers are an acquired taste

@Copperandtod you don't need to wipe out the potty's that have lids. They wee in it and the lid closes. Goes under the buggy to the toilet. They are called "My Carry Potty".

Just use a toilet surely.

I have never heard the likes of this. Still a joke in my view I’m afraid

Agree entirely with lovely dream while it lasted

Both my DDs have worked in a local up market pub/restaurant that is popular with families. They have both been confronted by parents sitting a small child on a potty in the middle of the dining area. They were both too shocked to say anything.
If any parent does this while I am sitting at the next table they can expect to be blasted.

When dd1 was potty training, I used to carry the potty under the buggy and she would use it in emergencies. We spent a lot of time outside. On one occasion, she whipped the potty out in the middle of John Lewis and did a wee before I could stop her..I must have been looking on the opposite direction for all of 10 seconds and she just got on with it. I was absolutely mortified but there wasn't much I could do about it. To their credit, no-one (staff or customers) said anything.

@HarryElephante don't think I've ever seen a dog shit in John Lewis - you wouldn't let you dog piss in the middle of the floor so why should it be ok for a child 🤔

Nope, never done it. I've potty trained three boys and never ever taken a potty out with us. If they can't wait a couple of minutes to get to a loo, or behind a bush if absolutely no toilets around, I don't think they're ready.

My DS uses the potty in public wherever he needed to - middle of John Lewis once I recall.

Fucking gross.

I went to a parade about 2 weeks ago. Some woman took her child’s nappy off in the middle of the crowd and let him pee on the floor!

To be fair elephant dogs are really endearing and likeable. Toddlers are an acquired taste

Not sure about this, moonie. Both are an acquired taste, as dogs - like toddlers - often reflect the moron they're attached to.

No loos here either. Live rurally in a cluster of small villages, the only loo is at the doctors who openly admonish people using without having an appointment. Next nearest public loo is eight miles away.

Yet more bollocks performance parenting . 'Oh look at me being such an AMAZING parent - potty training DC where ever we roam' 'He's SUCH An amazing child - you MUST also want to gather round and applaud how he managed to use the potty and don't forget a pat on the back for me for being such a FOCUSED, child centred, parent ' ...

I have 7 children. Who all managed to learn to use the toilet without the need for taking a shit in public. Nor did we enter purdah during such periods . We just aren't namby-pamby over thinkers , planned a head and sometimes they had accidents but as they all wore pull-ups until they had sussed it - not anything that the rest of the world needed to be involved in.

Have to say I am more and more grossed out by this. When did it become acceptable?

Genuine question though- does this not undermine the whole point of toilet training? They're supposed to be learning impulse control, to hold in a wee until you are in a toilet (granted I can see how in rural areas, car journeys that is less practical in the early days) so isn't whipping out a potty wherever, whenever they say 'I need the toilet' completely counterproductive?

I think this is a problem when parents have “potty trained” but actually they have simply taken the nappies away before the child is actually ready.

If you can’t get to a toilet you at least make sure you hide away somewhere discrete.

don't think I've ever seen a dog shit in John Lewis - you wouldn't let you dog piss in the middle of the floor so why should it be ok for a child

I've never seen a child shit in the middle of John Lewis. How many have you seen?

For me with extremely poor mobility, when DS1 was out and about with just me, I would have to a potty..there is no way I could rush to a toilet! A one year old is way faster than me! But it would be discreet if he did need the toilet. I would use the potty in the car. I have never been to a park or anything like that without my DH. So he take my little one to the toilet. I would never use a potty in front of people for all eyes to see though!

I like to think humans have a little bit more intelligence than dogs. In fact I will admit, it never really occurred to me to compare the two as equals 🤔

I’m sorry but letting your child take a shit in John Lewis is disgusting.

A few weeks ago we went to a cafe and sat outside as the weather was nice. About halfway through the little boy near us sat down on his potty and proceeded to give everyone a running commentary on his shite. I don’t blame the child, I blame the parents who didn’t bat an eyelid that god forbid people may not have wanted to see that when they were eating.

I think this is a problem when parents have “potty trained” but actually they have simply taken the nappies away before the child is actually ready.

This. I think lots of parents want to say "they're potty trained" so start way before the child is ready. If the child can't wait a minute to get to a toilet or behind a bush they're simply not ready to be trained.

I heard a call bell go off at work at row 3 when I popped along a woman on row 2 had twins sat on potties on the seats one had already done a number 2.

GRIM

What a shitty person. Yuck