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AIBU?

To exect nearly 15 y/o DS's father to pay for him to go on a holiday HE invited him on?

41 replies

ShinyHarryPplHoldingPortkeys · 16/07/2007 18:59

This is the first time I've done a AIBU.. but I've got to know.. AM I?

X H and I have always maintained a good relationship for the sake of our DS, now nearly 15. We broke up when he was nearly 2 and DS and ex H have always had a good father/son relationship.

xH has booked holiday to Egypt for himself, his wife, their DS and, for the first time, invited OUR DS along. Because DS will be 16 by then (Aug 2008) he has to pay for him as an adult.

I am happy and pleased to DS to go. It will be great for him to travel because we are unlikely to ever be able to afford to take him abroad and also he has CF.. I want him to have exciting experiences like this as we can't take his good health for granted.

XH knows how we are fixed financially (living on disability benefits) but as he can be a bit thick-skinned about these things, when he mentioned money I told him that we were be unlikely to be able to contrinute much if any towards DS's share £800+) although we'd do our best to try and get his spending money together by next Aug. (xH suggested £200.)

Now, every time I speak to ExH he goes on about how "together we'll sort the money out" and when he has to make the next payment. And also, trying get DS jobs in which we can earn money to give to him to contribute towards the holiday.

This is starting to give me the hump. He has already got £300-odd of "DS's costs" from an account he has been putting into since DS was a baby and which I suggested he use if he wanted to.. but he has to keep going on about the additional £500+

I'm NOT a sponger.. (despite being a benefit claimaint) but is it unreasonable to think that if he invites HIS son to go on holiday with them, then he should be prepared to pay for him? They are not rolling in it, but they both work, have nice own home, two car family etc.. we are completely the opposite (and no I am not jealous, am happy for him!) But I don't WANT poor DS to have to work this year.. maybe NEXT year when he offically leaves school, in the holdiays between leaving and college.. and to give himthe experience of having some wages.. not to hand over to someone.

So far Ex H has suggested fruit picking (bloody hard work!) and Tescos (am pretty such they won't employ a 15 year old.. will check).. just so DS can earn this money to hand over! He does babysit for them sometimes.. I suggested that THAT could be a contribution to which he said "Well I'm hardly going to pay myself out of my own pocket am I?" completely missing the point that babysitters usually get paid!

DS is fit and well.. but he stays that way (so far!) via a complicated daily regime and 4 hours swimming training a week. I would like his summer holidays to BE holidays.. not work! He has had a gruelling first year of GCSE coursework as well.

Am I being unreasonable? I have just been narky with xH and he has sworn at me for first time in years.. I can foresee trouble. I think our "good realtionship for sake of DS" is important.. and I WANT DS to go to Egypt with them, and I WILL contribute what little we can afford, and encourage DS to save what little he has in pocket money/birthday money etc.. but should he really have to get a job to help fund "his portion" of their family holiday costs?

Please give me input!

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Kbear · 16/07/2007 19:03

His dad should pay.