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To be annoyed at husband ?

(114 Posts)
Whyohwhydo Fri 26-Apr-19 15:57:19

Hi all!

Maybe i’m over-reacting but need to vent !

DH has away for 4 days for a Work trip and came home late last Night.
I was looking forward to a cosy family night tonight - we have 3 children , 2 under 5 and a teenager.

But no ... He is off to spend 3 hours at the cinema because he MUST see the new avengers film tonight.

So no time With the children , as he came home from Work and started doing Jobs, and i have to put 2 if them to bed so they Will be asleep when he gets home.


Aquamarine1029 Fri 26-Apr-19 15:59:03

I wouldn't be happy, either. I think this is very selfish of him.

Whyohwhydo Fri 26-Apr-19 16:00:43

One of the children is in tears because he is confused that daddy is back after being away but has to go again.


Blackandpurple Fri 26-Apr-19 16:01:42

Id be ok with it. You have tomorrow.

Daffodil2018 Fri 26-Apr-19 16:02:02

What a dick! YANBU.

blackteasplease Fri 26-Apr-19 16:02:24

Well that settles it. If your child is in tears he shouldn't go.

Notjudesmum Fri 26-Apr-19 16:04:15

Leave him to go and watch his stupid film.

Just don’t let him back him!

Notjudesmum Fri 26-Apr-19 16:04:38


StickyCarpet Fri 26-Apr-19 16:05:03

I'd be upset that he'd upset your child. My partner is like that with his favourite series of films and has to see them as soon as they come out. Could you do something special tomorrow?

Whyohwhydo Fri 26-Apr-19 16:05:31

He’s gone! Had no problem leaving a crying a child -i Said i hope it’s Worth it and enjoy Your film.

MaFleur Fri 26-Apr-19 16:06:18

Is he going alone? Selfish pig either way mind you.

hidinginthenightgarden Fri 26-Apr-19 16:06:36

Yes he is selfish. Why can't he go tomorrow or take a late screening so he can spend time with his kids first?

Whyohwhydo Fri 26-Apr-19 16:07:04

He had several days of being alone in another city where he could have gone to see the film . He does things when he wants to . 😞

arethereanyleftatall Fri 26-Apr-19 16:07:30

I'm fairly sure avengers is on tomorrow as well. And the next day. Plot will probably stay the same. Utterly unacceptable to upset your own children needlessly.

Mimsy123 Fri 26-Apr-19 16:07:57

He must see an Avengers film? Is he 7 years old?

TwoleftUggs Fri 26-Apr-19 16:10:48

Well I can understand why he might have wanted to see it today. Wasn’t it released just today, and the longer he leaves it the more chance of spoilers etc.. (can you tell I have an avengers obsessed DH and DS). However he could have gone to a later evening showing, or maybe taken the older DC with him.

arethereanyleftatall Fri 26-Apr-19 16:12:49

Why don't you tell him that you must see the film tonight?

Whyohwhydo Fri 26-Apr-19 16:13:50

Thanks all! Nice to be listened to - wether you agree With me or not .

lookingelsewhere Fri 26-Apr-19 16:33:28


As you say, he could have seen it when he was away.

outsho Fri 26-Apr-19 16:35:17

Selfish. Made his child cry so he could see a shit film, great parenting right there.

Make sure you do something similar tomorrow. Just say right I’m off DH, bye! And disappear for 3 hours.

Happyspud Fri 26-Apr-19 16:35:32

Any way you can actually make sure he’s at this film that he absolutely had to be at at this time of day??

LittleElle Fri 26-Apr-19 16:35:35

It’s the end of a series that has spanned 22 films and almost a decade. I’m actually with him on this one because I know how important it is to fans. Everyone is being a twat and giving away spoilers and there are no tickets all weekend at cinemas within a 25 mile radius around me

BlueJava Fri 26-Apr-19 16:35:50

YANBU. Is he 10 years old? Ridiculous behaviour from a man, especially after a business trip and you have children.

Decormad38 Fri 26-Apr-19 16:38:32

Why can’t he take the teen or you and teen babysits? We ate all going together tomorrow.

BollocksToBrexit Fri 26-Apr-19 16:39:12

YANBU I really don't understand men like this. DH had been away with work this week too but he's ditched the end of conference meal so that he can get home before DS goes to bed because he misses his son (and me too I hope).

NoSauce Fri 26-Apr-19 16:40:50

That’s self centred behaviour in my eyes. He could have gone another time surely?

Starlight456 Fri 26-Apr-19 16:41:25

I was going to suggest maybe he needs a bit of down time however as he left a crying child he is been very unreasonable

IHateUncleJamie Fri 26-Apr-19 16:43:45

Blimey. Even my Marvel mad dd is waiting until tomorrow. confused

I understand him wanting to see the film but he could absolutely have waited until tomorrow. I’d be livid.

Fairenuff Fri 26-Apr-19 16:46:33

He does things when he wants to

Well there you go then. Why are you surprised at this?

Ceebs85 Fri 26-Apr-19 16:46:47

Selfish. YANBU.

What's with the Random capitalisation?

YemenRoadYemen Fri 26-Apr-19 16:47:26

So, do you get to go out, and just leave him with the kids? As if I don't already know the answer to this question.

Whyohwhydo Fri 26-Apr-19 16:48:57

He could have seen it yesterday or the day before ! He was completely child free-
We are in a different country so it’s been out for a few days.

Yes i know we have tomorrow- which we are spending at the in laws !

But thats for another thread 😂

Bringbackthestripes Fri 26-Apr-19 16:49:04

Wow! He has been away and now back doesn’t even want to spend time with his kids and just left a sobbing child. Selfishly putting his own needs -well wants actually- above the needs of his distraught child. Awful.

Whyohwhydo Fri 26-Apr-19 16:49:47

Sorry for random capitalisation - phone!

goldenchicken Fri 26-Apr-19 16:50:32

Funny how some men, when they have these hobbies and interests and various pursuits, they almost NEVER include taking the children with them.

Selfish fuckers.

YANBU obviously. I would tell him (when he comes in) that tomorrow you are going out for the day- ALONE - and he can have the kids.

Sauce for the goose and all. hmm

BMW6 Fri 26-Apr-19 16:52:26

Self centred prick.

bagpiss Fri 26-Apr-19 16:52:42

I don't actually agree with his behaviour BUT it was only released yesterday so he couldn't have seen it before. (Although we saw it last night due to partly what LittleElle said) and its sold out quite a lot of places.

Whyohwhydo Fri 26-Apr-19 16:53:42

I actually do get to go out and do things by myself and spend weekends away .
However i use that time to do things for ME and then when i’m With the children it’s about them.

justarandomtricycle Fri 26-Apr-19 16:54:10

I don't know about this one actually.

On the face of it YANBU but it is really, REALLY hard to avoid people spoiling that film for you.

Also, work trips are often shit and I will often become laser-focused on whatever I am looking forward to when I get home, just to get through it, especially if the thing I am looking forward to was postponed because of the work trip.

Granted for me it is usually a sit-down dinner or a trip out with family or something because my life revolves around them all, but I can see it being something else one day.

I mean the reverse of this would be that he's got through the work trip from hell looking forward to a film where 20+ films plots converge, wanting to see it asap because of spoiler twats, and was not allowed to enjoy it without a massive fuss and a guilt trip. I can see both sides.

bagpiss Fri 26-Apr-19 16:54:56

Sorry x post with you saying you're not in the uk.

willowmelangell Fri 26-Apr-19 16:55:06

Let him take the dc to the in-laws while you catch up with all your must -do things!

SauvingnonBlanketyBlanc Fri 26-Apr-19 16:56:01

Is he heavily into Marvel?

BlingLoving Fri 26-Apr-19 16:56:55

I don't understand this mindset. I'm not one of those people who feel that all spare time should be spent with the DC. But for pete's sake, after a trip away my DC would be desperate for me/DH to spend a little time with them.

GreenFingersWouldBeHandy Fri 26-Apr-19 17:03:07

That's horrible. Your poor DC.

He cares more about seeing a stupid superhero film than spending time with his kids? That's horrible. I'd tear a strip off him for that.

His priorities need a serious rethink.

aidelmaidel Fri 26-Apr-19 17:05:14

Definitely see why you're miffed. How obnoxious.

lookingelsewhere Fri 26-Apr-19 17:06:15

I marvel at his cheek, but I think you need to avenge yourself, OP wink

ZippyBungleandGeorge Fri 26-Apr-19 17:10:28

Why couldn't be go to a late night showing after they were in bed? I worked away a lot until recently and had ideas of cinema, theatre trips and gallery exhibitions in the evenings but the reality was I was exhausted, often had team meetings or felt I ought to have dinner with colleagues.

Whyohwhydo Fri 26-Apr-19 17:11:56

Haha lookingelsewhere - that cheered me up!

Doubt it was the Work trip from hell - he finished at 4.30pm everyday and went for dinner and drinks each evening . So he COULD have chosen to see the film there OR wait till tomorrow .

I didnt make a massive fuss- think his children were doing that .

lookingelsewhere Fri 26-Apr-19 17:13:52

grin Love a corny joke.

Make sure you get some time off tomorrow - your DH will need to stay at home catching up with his children at long last!

BettyDuMonde Fri 26-Apr-19 17:16:15

If it’s a one off, then I don’t think it’s a particularly big deal (my DH works away every Mon-Thu, sometimes longer, so if I imposed rules like this he would never see his friends at all).

If your DH constantly puts his own needs before his family, however, YANBU. Kid wrangling alone all week is a nightmare.

Squigglesworth Fri 26-Apr-19 17:16:53

He sounds very immature and selfish. Unfortunately, if he does this kind of thing often, the children will soon get the message that they're not as important to him as this other crap (like movies that for some reason have to be seen on a specific night).

Dagnabit Fri 26-Apr-19 17:18:01

I get that OP is cross as her dh has been away and gone out again but the film isn't a stupid film or for 7yos!! Don't be such a twat hmm

BettyJune07 Fri 26-Apr-19 17:20:12

I know how you feel OP! DH has been on afternoons all week meaning he only sees the kids for an hour tops before school, decided to do over time so I've not even seen him after work either. Today he informs me hes going round to his friends house when hes back from work as today is a half shift. Kids are upset and crying because normally we have food and a film when hes back at 7.30, but tonight it'll be get home, get showered, go back out again! Fabulous, and I've ran out of southern comfort because he drank the last of it shock men!

Stormy76 Fri 26-Apr-19 17:24:14

That’s a selfish thing to do, he could have taken the teen with him at least’s an avengers film! I would have been pissed if my DH did that, you are definitely not BU

Geminijes Fri 26-Apr-19 17:25:20

What country are you in Op? I ask as the release date has been tailored to be same nearly worldwide to prevent spoilers making their release online.

'As it would be impossible for Marvel to put the movie in international markets a week early and spoilers not immediately making their way online. The same release date nearly across the world should guarantee that all fans get to go in to Endgame as clean as possible.'

Whyohwhydo Fri 26-Apr-19 17:25:42

In reply to another post i’m not saying that parents need to spend all their Free time With them. I’m just disappointed that after a few days away he doesn’t want to spend time With them.

How would it be received if I did that?

I can tell you the amount of criticism i get from spending time away from my children and questions of ”but who takes Care of the children?”

I respond: they have another parent . He takes care of them .

Bluntness100 Fri 26-Apr-19 17:27:40

I find that very odd. Has he went on his own? It would indicate to me he doesn't want to be at home. If it was just he was a massive geek he'd have went earlier.

Whyohwhydo Fri 26-Apr-19 17:27:46

*them = children !

G5000 Fri 26-Apr-19 17:33:28

I just got back from 4 day work trip this morning and went to see the Avengers straight from airport - even though I could have also picked the kids up early. DH agreed that I was not U (as he came with me). it's the Endgame! There will be spoilers all over in the next 2 seconds. There will be other family evenings.

booboo82 Fri 26-Apr-19 17:35:31

ues you are being unreasonable we've waited a year for this film let him enjoy it !!!

Whyohwhydo Fri 26-Apr-19 17:38:51

Yeah cos he only has tonight to enjoy it ! Ffs

How awful of me to not let him .

justarandomtricycle Fri 26-Apr-19 17:42:09

It turns out he...
...refers Marvel to DC.

justarandomtricycle Fri 26-Apr-19 17:42:26

Ha. *prefers

HollowTalk Fri 26-Apr-19 17:46:06

Couldn't he at least have taken your teenager to it?

justarandomtricycle Fri 26-Apr-19 17:48:14

I don't really think YABU, OP. I can just see ways a person could do this without being a terrible person. To many it's a big deal, even if only in the entertainment/hobby sense.

HollowTalk Fri 26-Apr-19 17:55:27

Surely if it was so important to him he would've been able to give you plenty of notice? If he'd been looking forward to it he would've known the release date.

ToeSocks Fri 26-Apr-19 18:07:26

Leave him to go see his film !

Get a takeaway on him , when the kids are in bed pour a large glass of wine with a film of your choice ! Enjoy it - that's what I would do smile

Whyohwhydo Fri 26-Apr-19 18:12:21

Thankyou toesocks !

The teenager and I are going to watch a cheesy film together and enjoy it 😊

Leeds2 Fri 26-Apr-19 18:17:59

Did he ask the teen to go with him (if s/he wanted to)?

burntprop Fri 26-Apr-19 18:20:11

YABU! It's Endgame!

Whyohwhydo Fri 26-Apr-19 18:20:40

No the teen wasn’t invited 😞

Bluntness100 Fri 26-Apr-19 18:56:03

Ehrm, I'm not sure how to say this, but are you sure that's where he is and he's alone? He's not seeing someone else?

It's very very odd behaviour op.

thecatsarecrazy Fri 26-Apr-19 19:03:39

Uggh no this bloody film has caused a row in our house too. Dh wants to take our eldest 2, thought he had already booked tickets I said yeah fine whatever weeks ago .. But no he hadn't and apparently it's because I hadn't given a straight answer. Bollocks. Now he's going at 3pm on sunday. So another day i will be home alone all day with a 2 year old. I said I never get any bloody break!

GeorgiaGirl52 Fri 26-Apr-19 19:33:07

If it was any other film YANBU, BUT it's ENDGAME!!!! So since you must know how invested he is in the Marvel Universe, yes, YABU.
My grandson is missing his mother's birthday to see it. He and his uncle have had tickets booked for weeks, have planned what t-shirts they are wearing, where they will eat afterward (McDonalds Happy Meals have the characters in them), and finally a trip to the Comic Book Store to buy a momento. You can't win - the Avengers are mightier than you and your DC!!

YemenRoadYemen Fri 26-Apr-19 19:50:21

Surely - surely! - he takes the kids to his parents tomorrow alone?!

Whyohwhydo Fri 26-Apr-19 20:12:07

Do you really think i should let him take the children tomorrow ? Is that not a bit too dramatic?

GottenGottenGotten Fri 26-Apr-19 20:26:50

He hasn't had days to watch it, as it has only been released. I personally would cut him some slack - for fans, this is like the Game of Thrones new series - you want to watch it as soon as its available.

But I appreciate that you haven't had it easy. I agree, let him take the kids tomorrow and you get the day off.

OliviaBenson Fri 26-Apr-19 20:55:50

Not dramatic at all! Enjoy the peace and quiet while he gets to parent....

MitziK Fri 26-Apr-19 21:10:55

By tomorrow morning, there will be stuff all over SM giving the plot away - things like blah blah blah blah football blah blah news story AND WOLVERINE DIES (the first film I really noticed a deliberate effort to spoil films by many people).

For many people, it's not just a crappy film, it's their entire childhood wrapped up in one massive finale, the last thing that Stan Lee did, what taught them right from wrong, the one thing in their lives that, no matter how hard their lives were, no matter how fucked up the world is, comforted them with the idea that there are heroes out there and good triumphs over evil in the end.

If my brother hadn't died on Tuesday, I know that he would have been watching it tonight or tomorrow afternoon, in the cinema just around the corner from me (and we'd have probably met there, back row, in the middle to get the best of the audio effects).

I'm going to go as soon as I can leave the house without my knees shaking because a) he passed that love on to me and b) because he doesn't ever get to know what happens now. There are a few other films coming up that I know he would have gone to see within 48 hours of release, too - like the new Godzilla. And, selfish though it sounds, another few hours and an earbashing would be worth the feeling of excitement and anticipation to be sat there, waiting for the flickering pages of the start sequence, not knowing what is going to happen.

letsdolunch321 Fri 26-Apr-19 21:26:27

Selfish twat.

I would NOT be visiting the in laws tomorrow, he would be doing it with the kids, without me.

Cherrysoup Fri 26-Apr-19 21:34:01

Are people not seeing that he's been away a few days and could have gone to see it on any of the nights he was away but instead chose to go out for drinks every night then come home and then go to see it? I'd be pissed off too.

Cherrysoup Fri 26-Apr-19 21:35:00

I would NOT be visiting the in laws tomorrow, he would be doing it with the kids, without me.

Totally agree. Take a day for yourself, OP.

Sarahlou63 Fri 26-Apr-19 21:37:35

Do you think he went to see the film on his own??

GottenGottenGotten Fri 26-Apr-19 21:41:27

Are people not seeing that he's been away a few days and could have gone to see it on any of the nights he was away

No, because the film has only just been released. Op clearly wasn't aware of that.

banana64 Fri 26-Apr-19 22:19:34

Absolute load of twaddle.
A movie. A load of made up shite.
Over his children. He could fuck right off.
What a poor poor character he must have.
I really couldn't be married to someone that rediculous.

Merryfecker Fri 26-Apr-19 23:13:30

To those saying the film has only just been released, if you had read the thread properly you would have seen the OP lives in a different country and the film has already been released for a few days, so if her hubby was so desperate to see it before any spoilers he COULD have seen it while he was away! Seems to me he just wants to do what he wants when he wants and bugger any one else.

CupOhTea Fri 26-Apr-19 23:17:22

What a twunt! Yanbu. I’d be really disgruntled.

adaline Fri 26-Apr-19 23:21:09

* To those saying the film has only just been released, if you had read the thread properly you would have seen the OP lives in a different country and the film has already been released for a few days*

It hasn't been. Marvel did a worldwide release date for it.

Fiveredbricks Fri 26-Apr-19 23:26:37

Load of rubbish. It's a worldwide release date. He couldn't have gone any earlier at all. Also... it's Endgame! It's a pretty big deal if you're a Marvel fan. He can have the kids tomorrow.

GottenGottenGotten Fri 26-Apr-19 23:26:51

the film has already been released for a few days

It really hasn't been. There were previews last night, and it is on general release today - everywhere.

justarandomtricycle Fri 26-Apr-19 23:31:29

Last ever episode of game of thrones is on and this is your first chance to watch it. People are plastering spoilers all over Facebook, twitter etc.

Child wants you as they often do, but there is a perfectly capable other parent on hand who isn't even interested in game of thrones

If you don't postpone the episode until next day you're a twat

I bet there are people twatcalling for endgame who would fail this test

Merryfecker Fri 26-Apr-19 23:36:45

Not sure how to do the link, but I gave found a page that listed all the release dates and they were from the 22nd to the 29th of April depending on which country you are from, California USA been the first on the 22nd. Point been is the op,s hu by could have waited, dont care how badly you want to see a film your kids should come 1st

Princess1066 Fri 26-Apr-19 23:43:08

DS went on Wednesday - we live in Ireland

AngeloMysterioso Fri 26-Apr-19 23:47:43

What kind of shitty grown-ass father of 3 prioritises going to see a fucking superhero movie on his own over spending time with his children after he’s been away?! Jesus wept.

AngeloMysterioso Fri 26-Apr-19 23:50:04

Last ever episode of game of thrones is on and this is your first chance to watch it. People are plastering spoilers all over Facebook, twitter etc.

Imagine living in a world where such spoilers could be avoided simply by <shocker> not going on social media

justarandomtricycle Fri 26-Apr-19 23:52:43

Imagine living in a world where such spoilers could be avoided simply by <shocker>not going on social media

Not being able to go on social media until you've seen it is the obvious given. No time to draw a diagram explaining this.

OhLookHeKickedTheBall Fri 26-Apr-19 23:56:20

Dh is desperate to see Endgame. He's also partial to a cinema trip late at night after the dc are in bed. But he knows I want to see it so he's booked a day off work so we can go together whilst dc are at school. Then promised ds he will take him at some point after wants to make sure it's not too scary and also not miss out as ds will obviously need a loo break. I'll offer him a sainthood after reading this thread 😂

HappyLife21 Fri 26-Apr-19 23:59:16

Are you sure the child was crying because his dad was going out and not that he sensed the atmosphere created by the fact that you were angry?

StarbucksSmarterSister Sat 27-Apr-19 00:03:45

for fans, this is like the Game of Thrones new series - you want to watch it as soon as its available.

I am a huge fan of GoT but no way would it come before my kids.

He sounds like an idiot. OP you obviously have one more child than you thought.

Planetian Sat 27-Apr-19 00:10:30

Can you imagine, as a mother who actually loves her children, being away for four days and then coming home, spending no time with your children and actively making them cry so you can go watch a mediocre film? Nope, can’t imagine it either. How are so many men still so fucking useless at parenting?

He’s a knob OP.

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