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To hate how I look now I'm older.

(176 Posts)
bluewavysea Fri 26-Apr-19 14:41:02

I know it's ridiculous and probably quite shallow, but just lately I seem to have aged rapidly. I was horrified at my old looking face at the hairdressers earlier. I used to like the way I looked, was always told I was beautiful, now I feel invisibible. Anyone else mourn their lost looks?

lookingelsewhere Fri 26-Apr-19 14:42:02

I am currently bemoaning the state of my hair - it's just thin candyfloss now. I used to have lovely hair sad

waterrat Fri 26-Apr-19 14:45:15

I"m 41 and I am genuinely pining the loss of my youthful face. Ageing is cruel. I have become absolutely obsessed with how I look - I now understand why men get lamborginis and wear wigs when they have a mid life crisis....

I know I look fine 'for my age' - it's just that nothing looks as gorgeous and sexy as a 20 something young woman...when I see them on the train or out and about - whatever they are wearing - I think they glow!

ThereWillBeAdequateFood Fri 26-Apr-19 14:47:00

Sympathies op I feel the same. I don’t want to look beautiful (ok that’s a lie) I’m just fed up of looking tired all the time. Even after and good nights sleep and after I’ve put makeup on I look tired.

As my grandma said ageing sucks but it beats the alternative grin

ThereWillBeAdequateFood Fri 26-Apr-19 14:48:25

I now understand why men get lamborginis and wear wigs when they have a mid life crisis

Loads of women I know have Botox. Years ago I used to wonder why they cared, I understand now.

BlueMerchant Fri 26-Apr-19 14:51:24

Yes but when I was younger there was only a small period 20-25 when I thought I looked good. Now I can see that actually up until I reached mid 30s I still looked good. Now I feel dreadful and wish I'd appreciated my good years.
I can't go to the hairdresser and sit looking in the mirror at myself. All the hairdressers I've been to seem to be young and glam and to see them stood behind me reflected in the mirror makes me feel extra depressed.

Metaplasia Fri 26-Apr-19 14:52:56

Yep - my hair is fucked, my skin is gross, I'm shaped like a barrel, every day I seem to have new wrinkles, cellulite, hair in places it shouldn't be! Bloody Facebook keeps bringing up old photos of my clear glowing skin, shiny thick hair and neat hourglass figure from a few years ago. Bastard. Oh and I'm well aware it only gets worse! I'm not even 30 yet. FML cakewine

cardibach Fri 26-Apr-19 14:56:40

If you aren’t 30 yet, I doubt you have much in the way of wrinkles or errant hair, Meta. You need to try to get some perspective on how you look and realise that in 30 years (or less) you’ll look back at pictures of yourself now and think how young you look!

Singlenotsingle Fri 26-Apr-19 15:00:17

It's the eyebags and nose to chin lines that I hate. I can dye the hair and my GP called me "well preserved" last time I saw him so it couldn't be too bad. But Botox and fillers are calling...

lookingelsewhere Fri 26-Apr-19 15:02:50

Oh god, yes, it's so depressing. The only "comfort" I can give myself is that in 10 years' time I'll be thinking the way I look NOW was a good thing wink

Roussette Fri 26-Apr-19 15:05:30

Well.... all I can say is... I am 60 something and you just get used to it! Maybe the ageing is a bit of shock when you are 40 something but as a PP said, what's the alternative? (apart from Botox which I know from acquaintances can look even worse)

I take care over my make up, my hair, my nails, I think carefully about what I wear, I enjoy life and that makes you not look your age (hopefully!) It's all about joie de vivre!

tierraJ Fri 26-Apr-19 15:07:01

I'm the opposite- at 42 I'm happy with how I look now.

This is because in my mid-late 30s I was really mentally unwell (I was eventually diagnosed with schizo affective disorder) & before the psychiatrist got the meds right I just looked poorly all the time.
In photos from those days I didn't smile, I'd lost hair & put on stones in weight, I looked ill basically.

Now people comment on how well I look & on my weight loss. My hair has grown back & its highlighted & looks better.
I have to wear glasses now but they suit me.
Most importantly I mainly look well & happy despite getting depressed at times.

I do have slight laughter lines but no more than much younger women I know as I've always worn high spf since I was a teen & it's paid off.

I do have times when I dislike my looks but it's not because I'm older- I was lucky I got to this age as I was suicidal for years.

DaffoDeffo Fri 26-Apr-19 15:07:45

my eye bags have eye bags which have eye bags. A lot of people tell me how tired I look grin but i look like this whether I have a year of good sleeps or not. I think it's just hereditary.

it definitely got worse age 45+

Metaplasia Fri 26-Apr-19 15:08:39

Cardibach I do! I know it's not really so bad. I do have some wrinkles due to my eye shape but I'm definitely making the most of my smooth neck for as long as it lasts 😂

SihtricsHorseWitnere Fri 26-Apr-19 15:09:40

I used to be quite good looking and had a stunning figure. Now, well, it's the opposite. I'm 48. I've come to accept it all. BUT, I really enjoyed myself in my youth, I never negged myself or wore baggy clothes, I flaunted it (I was athletic and had a beautiful body) and had a blast so now I'm not too bothered at all.

missbattenburg Fri 26-Apr-19 15:09:48

I can't go to the hairdresser and sit looking in the mirror at myself.

I genuinely think there is a market for hairdressers in which you sit on a nice, comfy seat and watch some telly while your hair is cut.

Staring at my round moon face, double chin and greying skin tone under harsh, white lights, for a whole hour is way down on my list of "treats".

I used to turn heads. Nowadays I suspect I turn stomachs grin

YoungyMummyLovesFunny Fri 26-Apr-19 15:11:43

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NewModelArmyMayhem18 Fri 26-Apr-19 15:13:26

Yes, totally with you OP and agree with the poster who mentioned not wanting to look in the mirror at self at the hairdressers - had this experience only t'other week. I have never read a book so avidly!

It is so depressing. I too used to be attractive and sexy (and had the confidence that comes with knowing it), but fat and frumpy doesn't do me justice these days sad.

scarbados Fri 26-Apr-19 15:14:17

I felt the same way in my 40s and most of my 50s. Now that the 60s will soon give way to 70s, I see good if slightly lived-in skin and shiny hair that takes blonde highlights like a dream. In a few weeks I'll start getting a bit of a glow-y tan that looks good with green eyes.

The slightly saggy jowls - meh, not keen but all the women in my family have gained them so I was never going to escape without cosmetic surgery and I have no time or money for that shit.

Gave up on makeup when I started to see it as looking false and garish, unless it's just a bit of brownish lipgloss. I don't think I'm any kind of beauty, far from it, but I'm happy in my skin and behind my face.

GiantKitten Fri 26-Apr-19 15:15:29

I look worse in the hairdressers' mirror than in any other anywhere. How do they do that?

Roussette Fri 26-Apr-19 15:15:42

BUT, I really enjoyed myself in my youth, I never negged myself or wore baggy clothes, I flaunted it (I was athletic and had a beautiful body) and had a blast so now I'm not too bothered at all

Me too. I get that. I had an absolute blast in my twenties, followed up with marriage and kids etc. I can honestly look back and think I've had a great time so I think that I why I am fairly content in my sixties. There are no unresolved 'if only's' I did it all!
(However, being content means I carry too many pounds, however, I always try and look good)

I can honestly vouch for the fact you will never look so young as you do today though!

NewModelArmyMayhem18 Fri 26-Apr-19 15:15:58

That expression "every dog has its day" springs to mind - for me anyway.

I also used to have a really flat tummy until I had children - now I have middle-age spread. hmm

SihtricsHorseWitnere Fri 26-Apr-19 15:16:50

Totally agree, missbattenburg. I don't go to hairdressers for this reason, I have a mobile hairdresser, really hate the sinks in salons and the mirrors.

JinglingHellsBells Fri 26-Apr-19 15:17:43


Please don't say you are 35.... grin

If you hate it that much is there any option of having some 'work' done?
Bit of filler, Botox, etc?

I would .

YoungyMummyLovesFunny Fri 26-Apr-19 15:19:32

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