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To not want daughter going to a wood by herself?

(533 Posts)
Vellia Fri 26-Apr-19 00:18:14

Dd is 16. We live in a town with lots of countryside/footpaths at close proximity. About a 15 minute walk away from our house, you get to the edge of some farmers’ fields. If you walk down the side of one of these you find yourself in a lovely small wood. At the moment the bluebells are out and it’s absolutely magical.

Over Easter, dd and I have gone for a walk in this wood most mornings before she starts revising (I work in a school so have school holidays off). But in a few weeks’ time she’ll be off school on pre-GCSE study leave while I’ll be working.

She’s said in passing that she’s going to go for a walk in the woods at the start of each day to get herself in the right frame of mind for revision.

I feel rather uncomfortable about this as the wood is a significant distance away from the road & any houses. Definitely out of ear-shot. And the wood is never very busy - we rarely bump into more than one or two people, mostly dog walkers; often it’s entirely empty apart from us.

AIBU to think it would be unwise for dd to go walking there by herself? Would I be unreasonable to tell her she can’t?

Fresta Thu 02-May-19 16:47:58

Walking in woods alone can be avoided- having male family members generally can't be avoided.

EatenByDinosaurs Thu 02-May-19 17:03:32

Having a mobile phone with reception would help if the DD tripped or fell and did something like twist her ankle down a rabbit hole. She would be able to call for help.

Goldmandra Thu 02-May-19 17:45:26

My DDs have both spent time walking alone in local fields and wood and riding horses there.

I am quite sure that they were at greater risk of harm riding the horses, even when riding with friends, than they were when walking alone.

You have to take risks to have any sort of quality of life. The perception of the risk of walking in woods alone on this thread seems massively out of proportion. She will be at a lot more risk every time she crosses a road. We just don't hear much about 16YO girls being killed crossing roads because it's so common it isn't newsworthy.

Fresta Thu 02-May-19 18:11:11

The difference is that there is an element of control when crossing a road- it's up to you to cross safely. If you encounter someone who has intent to cause you harm you are no longer the one in control in control.

Gwenhwyfar Thu 02-May-19 18:13:19

"there is an element of control when crossing a road- it's up to you to cross safely."

Nothing you can do if a car appears out of nowhere at a very high speed having gone through a red light.
Accidents happen.

Goldmandra Thu 02-May-19 18:15:51

The difference is that there is an element of control when crossing a road- it's up to you to cross safely. If you encounter someone who has intent to cause you harm you are no longer the one in control in control.

I honestly can't see how that makes the slightest bit of difference.

Fresta Thu 02-May-19 18:39:23

Of course it makes a difference- most can't avoid crossing roads, but you do it as carefully as you can- cars don't appear from nowhere, accidents happen when people don't see the dangers because they failed to look properly, stepped out without thinking, misjudged the distance etc. People can avoid walking alone in deserted woods! The two are not comparable!

Goldmandra Thu 02-May-19 19:11:17

People could massively reduce the number of times they cross a road but they don't because their perception of the risk, compared to walking in a wood is distorted.

16YOs cross roads for all sorts of reasons that are far less beneficial than a lovely relaxing walk in a wood to set them up for a day of effective revision. We don't tell them not to do it because our perception of the risk is distorted.

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