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AIBU?

Buckle up - it's another CF neighbour thread!

244 replies

grincheux · 25/04/2019 22:00

I'm in the UK. My lovely 70-something parents have a home on a quiet leafy cul-de-sac in a seaside town mostly inhabited by, well, other 70-somethings. They've lived abroad for many many years (away with the Army then settled there) ad have decided to start spending more time in the UK, living in their house whilst here and then eventually coming back permanently. At the moment they're still kind of 50-50 between places. I also rented the house from them for years before they decided to start increasing the amount of time they spent over here, so it was very much my home as well. Though I live up the road now, I still check on my parents house a couple of times a week, take the post in, say hello to the neighbours, that sort of thing.

Last year their next door neighbour (the hermit-y one who we never saw) passed away. The two-bed bungalow next door was sold to a couple from out of town who give the Wormwoods from Matilda a run for their money - and have two teenagers. They have since added a huge extension with windows overlooking my parents' garden - but that's probably the least of our worries at the moment from what my nice neighbours on the other side told me this evening. MNers, please advise...

  1. The cul-de-sac has a turning circle at the end. They have adopted this as their own private car park, meaning that cars, deliveries and ambulances can't turn around. They've been spoken to numerous times about it by the neighbours and continue to do it, despite the fact that every house on the street has a three-car driveway and there is ample roadside parking.


  1. They have knocked the fence down between theirs and my parents' front garden and piled it up on my parents' front lawn. Their dog now runs through the hedge and uses my parents' front garden as a toilet. also I may have trod in poo earlier and emotions escalated quickly


  1. My parents have an apple tree in the front garden which the wife has been quite vocal about letting herself in and helping herself to "for her horses" once it's ready. My mum asked her not to. Nice NDN told her not to. She's still been seen in the garden casing the tree.


  1. They had a party a few weeks ago and asked nice NDNs if their friends could park their cars on my parents' driveway. There is ample roadside parking, it's a cul-de-sac with no double yellows. Nice NDNs laughed and thought she was joking... Turns out Mrs Wormwood was serious. Nice NDN said "no, you can't park on their drive, that's someone's house!". Mrs Wormwood's response was "yeah but they're not there. Can we use your driveway instead then?"


  1. They don't have planning permission for the extension they've built which has turned a two-bed bungalow into a four-bed house with a yoga studio yes yes I know, please stay with me, I promise this is all real and new windows which overlook my parents' garden and directly into the master bedroom. We called the council when it was first put up but nothing was done about it.


I don't think IABU to think they can't carry on like this... but WWYD?!
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Helplessfeeling · 25/04/2019 22:04

I would get the fence put back up again asap, and does the driveway have a gate? If not, get a lockable one so they can't use it for parking. Get onto the council about the planning issue.

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madcatladyforever · 25/04/2019 22:05

Well that's ok then, if they don't have planning permission then report them to the council.
Most councils are rabid about tearing down extensions like that.
They will get their comeuppance.

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underneaththeash · 25/04/2019 22:05
  1. Apply to the council for a single yellow line on the turning circle.
  2. Get your parents to put the fence back up on their side and that will also fence in the apple tree.
  3. see 2.
  4. Ignore
  5. Find out who your named councillor is escalate the complaint.
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TimeIhadaNameChange · 25/04/2019 22:07

Could you move in for a while so it's occupied?

Report to Planning.

Replace the fence, return the dog shit to them.

Set up a sprinkler at the tree, and turn it on at random intervals.

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grincheux · 25/04/2019 22:09

Thank you for your replies so far! The fence is actually theirs and is completely rotten, it's a pile of mushy slats under said apple tree at the moment. I'm loathed to pay for something they've done to their own fence IFKWIM.

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ShinyPinkLipgloss · 25/04/2019 22:11

Definitely contact your local planning department and lodge an official complaint about their extension ASAP.

Would it be possible to enclose your front garden with a fence and lockable gate?

Who did the fence belong to? If you/your parents I’d be taking action re: damage/destruction of property. It it belongs to them I’d be telling them to get it shifted ASAP or threaten them with legal action.

It sounds like they need firmly putting on their place.

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Helplessfeeling · 25/04/2019 22:11

But replacing the fence would secure the garden from the dog and the apple thief. It would be worth the outlay. If the slats are in your parents front garden then just sling them back on her side. Or report her for fly tipping on your land.

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BornInAThunderstorm · 25/04/2019 22:11

Yes I think if the property is occupied for a while they wont be able to treat it as much of a free for all. Definitely get the fence up and boundary re-established as they sound cheeky enough to get one in themselves a few feet over the correct line

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GirlcalledJack · 25/04/2019 22:11

What would I do?

In all honesty I would look to move.

It’s going to get worse and they are clearly the type that will cause Merry hell!

Your DP’s house is empty half of the year so there is nobody there to keep on top of their CF’ery apart from you for a couple of hours max (I’m presuming)
Unless there is someone there constantly telling them to stop or that they can’t do x,y,z or to dob them in to any and all relevant authorities they will just continue to get cheekier and slowly start to take over.

Think of them like Japanese knotweed, once you’ve got it you’re fucked and controlling the spread is a fucking nightmare!
Best get out before it’s so bad you can’t even sell the house.

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ThatssomebadhatHarry · 25/04/2019 22:12

Are you positive there is no planning. They will make them tear it down.

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grincheux · 25/04/2019 22:15

There's a driveway gate and a footpath gate. I've thought about locking the driveway gate but the footpath gate has to stay unlocked for the postman. Apple thievery is committed by letting themselves in through the footpath gate as there's still some shitty shrubbery where their fence used to be. There's CCTV installed but as there's no Wi-Fi in the house we can stream it to our phones unfortunately.

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ThatssomebadhatHarry · 25/04/2019 22:15

I’d check planning regs though the laws on extensions were relaxed for single stories so they may not need it.

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itswinetime · 25/04/2019 22:16

But they dont care if the fence is up or down you do. So it maybe their fence and I would put the rubbish from it back in their property but I wouldn't be cutting of my nose so to speak by digging in on building a new one.

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ShinyPinkLipgloss · 25/04/2019 22:16

Lick the gate and install a mailbox?

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ShinyPinkLipgloss · 25/04/2019 22:17

Argh! Lock not lick!

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grincheux · 25/04/2019 22:20

@GirlcalledJack luckily the other neighbours on the street are on it! We've got out own house now so moving back in there isn't an option. They do, however, seem a bit (very) woo so while stewing on the drive home, the idea of making them believe the house is haunted seemed legitimate... 😂

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sackrifice · 25/04/2019 22:20

lock the footpath and get the post redirected to our house until they are back.

Get a new fence put up and definitely complain about the planning permission.

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BornInAThunderstorm · 25/04/2019 22:21

Would a nice neighbour let you connect the cctv to their wifi for a while?

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ZippyBungleandGeorge · 25/04/2019 22:22

Put a fence up, motion sensor sprinkler near the tree, cheapest broadband you can find so you can stream the CCTV (less than £10 a month). Definitely follow up about the planning with the council.

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Tingface · 25/04/2019 22:23
  1. If they don’t want a fence anymore but you do you’ll have to put one up.
  2. Get a yellow line on the turning circle.
  3. Shop them re the unpermitted development.


Beyond that: 🤷🏻‍♀️
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DonkeyHohtay · 25/04/2019 22:31

Council tomorrow about the planning. And get your parents on it too.

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Leeds2 · 25/04/2019 22:31

get a lock for the gate, and put a mailbox at the end of the drive so that the gate doesn't need to be left open for the postman.

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Purpleheadgirl · 25/04/2019 22:34

How about a postal redirect service to yours for a while then the fence could be put up again and both gates left locked as postman wouldn't need to get in. And if the fence is their's then ultimately put it back on their drive- write them. Lettwr theough the door with 3 days notice or you will be taling formal action, if nothing happens,preferably with another neighbour joining in to witness, put it all back on their drive and/or report them for dumping and vandalism to your property.

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Purpleheadgirl · 25/04/2019 22:35

Also thinking about it, often home insurance can come with legal cover for such disputes. Report to them and get legal input essentially for no additional cost as to the extension for one thing

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Itwouldtakemuchmorethanthis · 25/04/2019 22:35

They took down their own rotting fence? Fine
Stacked it on your parents garden? Not fine, put it back on theirs.
Stealing apples? Irritating, shut gates and install sprinkler.
Dog shitting? Again gates and sprinkler (though I’d put up my own fence too)

Extension? Report them and make a complaint.
Turning circle? Ask for lines.

What a pain in the arse.

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