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To think you can’t put conditions on inheritance

(40 Posts)
HairHereThere Thu 25-Apr-19 19:57:39

4 siblings all due at some point to get an equal share of dm house .....

But now dm is trying to Say there are conditions on them receiving it. That it has to spent how she thinks it should be and unless that’s agreed to they won’t get it ?

tanpestryfirescreen Thu 25-Apr-19 19:58:20

Is it in the will?

HairHereThere Thu 25-Apr-19 19:58:59

And to be honest it seems to be a pointless conversation as who knows what’ll happen it could all go on care ? So there’s little point causing so much bad feeling

HairHereThere Thu 25-Apr-19 19:59:36

The will just states an equal split but the way she’s talking she would change it if her terms aren’t agreed to

nrpmum Thu 25-Apr-19 20:00:48

How can she specify what it's spent on after she has died unless in trust, etc?

Tunnockswafer Thu 25-Apr-19 20:00:53

A solicitor would advise your dm whether it’s ok or not. Happens in movies! But can’t imagine how it works in real life.

Leeds2 Thu 25-Apr-19 20:01:17

What is it she wants you to agree to? Is it so bad?

ZippyBungleandGeorge Thu 25-Apr-19 20:02:09

I think sometimes it's wise eg a trust if the person inheriting will be quite young, conditions that it is used for property, education etc rather than benders in magaluf seem fair.

pallisers Thu 25-Apr-19 20:02:31

just agree all of you to say "yes of course mum. That's exactly what we would love to spend it on/save it for."

ivykaty44 Thu 25-Apr-19 20:03:05

DM may as well give all the money to the solicitor- how will it be policed? How much will the policing cost? Will there be a time limit?

GuineaPiglet345 Thu 25-Apr-19 20:03:44

Just tell her you’ll do it, she can’t control it once she’s gone and Wills can be changed as long as the beneficiaries it affects agree to the changes.

wigglypiggly Thu 25-Apr-19 20:04:05

It seems mean to specify how someone will spend their inheritance, if there is any money left, it should be given in goodwill and trust that it will be spent wisely. Like you say it could all go in care fees anyway but I'd be inclined to say that you don't expect anything, if you do get some money you'd spend it sensibly but if she makes a fuss I'd say don't bother. What terms does she expect you all to agree to?

HairHereThere Thu 25-Apr-19 20:04:25

She is adamant that those living in council houses must buy them and not use the money as savings

WhenISnappedAndFarted Thu 25-Apr-19 20:05:42

I do know someone who specified in a will what inheritance had to be spent on and what had to happen to the house when she'd passed away.

It was in the will, taken to court and the house part was upheld. I don't know what was done regarding the money.

wigglypiggly Thu 25-Apr-19 20:06:15

Do they want to buy their houses? the scheme might not be around when she dies so what happens then? what if they want to move somewhere else. How will she know anyway?

GreenEggsHamandChips Thu 25-Apr-19 20:06:18

That sounds sensible

GuineaPiglet345 Thu 25-Apr-19 20:06:39

I don’t think that would be enforceable so just go along with it.

GinghamStyle Thu 25-Apr-19 20:07:25

It sounds although it’s on her mind as to whether it’ll be used well and I’d encourage her to write her wishes down so that you all know how she would like you to spend it when the time comes. While she’s doing that, she could also write down what hymns and flowers she’d like at her funeral as it’s so important that you get it right etc.
What’s the point of arguing with her and stressing over it when, like you say, it may all go on care fees.

If she hasn’t already made a Will and LPAs, it sounds like a good opportunity to suggest that she does. LPAs can be expensive for a solicitor to prepare, but the forms are online and come with good guidance of how to complete them.

moonrises Thu 25-Apr-19 20:07:45

Of course conditions can be placed on an inheritance, maybe not actually in a will but stipulated separately.

If someone actually adheres to it probably depends on how much they believe in ghosts.

HairHereThere Thu 25-Apr-19 20:08:53

One of us isn’t able to
I don’t want to as we are better off staying council tenants and potentially using the money (if there is any) as savings/pension/for anything the dc need etc

thefairyfellersmasterstroke Thu 25-Apr-19 20:09:30

My DM tried to do this with regard to my DSis, as she was married to a horrible, greedy bottomfeeder who would have blown the lot in a week.

DM wanted to specify that DSis could only spend it on herself and the children, but the solicitor advised her that she couldn't "rule from beyond the grave" and that it was up to my sister to do what she wanted once it was her money.

Petalflowers Thu 25-Apr-19 20:11:44

I don’t know it’s enforceable to do this, but your dc obviously wants to invest in her dcs future, and not have her hard earned money squandered.

Many mn-etters are opposed to gifts-with-conditions, but I don’t a problem. After her death, she wants to help you in the next stage of life, rather the money being wasted.

HairHereThere Thu 25-Apr-19 20:12:16

I have tried to say it could end up with nothing anyway as nobody knows whether they’ll need to pay for care etc it seems a pointless thing to be talking about now

Heratnumber7 Thu 25-Apr-19 20:12:22

In the nicest possible way, just say "yes mum". She'll be dead. She'll have no idea whether or not you buy your house.

Katterinaballerina Thu 25-Apr-19 20:12:35

Nod, agree, then do what you want.

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