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Not to visit my dying sister or go to her funeral?

(265 Posts)
Cruelstepmother Wed 24-Apr-19 17:59:43

She has cancer, will prob live a couple more weeks/months, lives about 6 hours drive away. She's surrounded by other family members, I don't want to watch her dying and my DH has heart failure, is very frail and needs my help. She hasn't asked to see me, but we're very close and love each other more than our other sisters.

ddl1 Sun 19-May-19 03:29:15

Unless she or other relatives have explicitly asked you not to visit her, you should visit her. You might regret it if you don't, and it might be a comfort to her. I think that if you visit her in life, you are not obliged to go to her funeral; though if it is very important to her other family that you do so, you might try to go for their sake.

Alicewond Sun 19-May-19 03:33:59

Why wouldn’t you visit, surely above all other considerations she wants to see you

Whoops75 Sun 19-May-19 04:07:01

ddl1 & Alicewond RTFT before you post especially on such an emotional threadangry

I’m so glad you went op

I think you were very brave and selflessflowers

Alicewond Sun 19-May-19 04:16:43

You are correct that this is an emotional thread, the fact that we posted opinions shows that. It’s also a long thread with a response from op only an hour or so before this.

Tavannach Sun 19-May-19 04:29:08

So glad you went.
flowers

2018SoFarSoGreat Sun 19-May-19 07:13:11

Sounds like a nightmare journey. And one you will never regret. Well done ❤️

ddl1 Sun 19-May-19 08:03:10

I had on;y read the first few pages before. Isee that you went, which must have been lovely for your sister. I am very sorry that you are going through this. Unless others strongly wish it, I think it is reasonable to avoid the funeral if that would make things much worse for you. Very best thoughts!

Nodancingshoes Sun 19-May-19 08:36:28

You should go. I think you will regret it and she needs you. Can you arrange someone to care for your dh whilst you go?

Nodancingshoes Sun 19-May-19 08:37:22

Sorry, just saw that you went xxx

Alsohuman Sun 19-May-19 08:41:48

So sorry it was the nightmare journey from hell and equally glad that you’re pleased you went. 💐

Turpy Sun 19-May-19 08:59:29

Oh dear, what an awful journey. I'm very glad that you are still glad that you went.

SaskiaRembrandt Sun 19-May-19 09:36:11

I'm so glad you went!

JudgeRindersMinder Sun 19-May-19 09:43:55

I haven’t commented before but I have followed your thread.
What an absolute nightmare of a journey for you! However you made the righ,t decision for you, and it’ll have meant such a lot to your sister ...one day I hope you can laugh about your journey!

StillMe1 Sun 19-May-19 16:25:39

@ Cruelstepmother. I think I know the journey you made. If I have got it right that is one hell of a road. It is not just getting on the motorway and driving. People here probably didn't realise the journey you would be making. Well done for going. I am sure that it will have been the best decision.

StillMe1 Sun 19-May-19 16:27:40

@ Cruelstepmother.
Hit the wrong button too soon.
That road is bad enough without a breakdown as well. What a trial to get there.

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