To be (secretly) disappointed with bedroom furniture(152 Posts)
I quite possibly am and willing to be told I need to wind my neck in a bit.
Bit of background. We are moving house, and ds(5) needed new bedroom furniture. He is currently sleeping in his toddler bed (which is suitable up to five years but he's quite small for his age, still this seemed an appropriate time to get him a new bed etc).
He also needed a wardrobe, draws etc as the draws he currently have are not great and his old bedroom had a built in wardrobe (we think it might have been a boiler cupboard previously but it worked fine)
Now his toddler bed (that was also his cot) is beautiful. It's solid wood, with winnie the pooh and piglet (he still likes winnie the pooh, though that's not really the point) carved into the headboard. It is good quality, smells lovely and has lasted really well. It still looks brand new.
I was looking at new beds with ds so he had a bit of a say in it a while ago, and both of us were leaning towards wooden bed frames again. I think him because it's familiar and a similar look to the bed he has slept in all his life, me because I think wood looks lovely.
Here is the aibu. Mil has kindly offered to buy ds's bedroom furniture (recently received an inheritance, as did dp which is why we can afford to move at all, she got significantly more than dp, a few thousand more). Both I and dp said that was lovely and showed her the sort of thing we were looking at (mostly varnished pine cabin beds).
Every single suggestion put back to us by her has been horrible cheap looking white mdf. All a very similar price to what we have been showing her.
In the end she has ended up buying ugly cheap white mdf everything (wardrobe, bed but no mattress, chest of draws and bedside draws). It has come out that she thinks 'a little boy should have white furniture because I (mil) think it looks better'
Dp says don't look a gift horse in the mouth and to some extent I agree. But she has form for overstepping boundaries and blatantly ignoring my wishes when ds was very little.
And honestly it's awful quality, rickety and ugly and I can see it looking very shoddy very quickly.
We have done our best to make everything else in our new house reasonably good quality (floors etc) and this just feels like a huge fuck you dil, and sticks out like a sore thumb.
I am aware I am probably being a bit daft and emotional because moving is stressful enough and this move has been particularly bad, with having to get builders in and them doing an appalling job.
This horrible, ugly, not-at-all what we would have picked furniture that is the same price bracket as what we looking for furniture that mil has picked just feels like a kick in the teeth.
Aibu to be secretly disappointed and a bit upset? I haven't said anything to her (I have told dp that I was not keen on white, and told mil while she was looking that I would much rather have wood) so as to keep the peace and not seem ungrateful.
I am grateful for the offer but it feels very much like she is trying to impose her wants and tastes on our house by choosing a style none of us really like.
MDF is mildly poisonous and generally emits formaldehyde.
Is it so bad that I genuinely read 'MDF' as 'MIL' and didn't even think to go back and re-read it until the very last word?
YADNBU But you've really left it too late to do much about it now.
I wouldn't keep quiet about not liking it though, sod that for a lark. MIL completely ignore yours & DS requests for wood & buys white MDF for YOUR home. That's not buying you a gift, that's imposing HER taste onto your home & needs nipping in the bud as she's overstepped her role.
Apologise to DS that he didn't get his choice stating simply that "nana didn't listen properly & bought the wrong thing & that though it was very kind of her to buy his bedroom furniture, it's not really so kind to buy something you both made clear that you didn't want & that you are saving to replace it ASAP & that DS can help by not damaging the furniture so you can maybe sell it later
On principle though, unless you are totally skint, I'd have this as a priority to replace asap & I'd make that known too, though without making a big deal out of it, something like..
" Oh MIL that's kind of you to provide DS with temporary furniture until we can get him the wood he & us all really wanted"
Acceptance just teaches MIL that this is okay & it really isn't
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