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To think I’ve a right to deny her request

(41 Posts)
Goingwiththeflow2019 Tue 23-Apr-19 19:09:24

So to not drip feed - partner and I live separately at the moment. Both work in the financial industry with myself working remotely/from home. We currently pay two lots of rent (£400 inc of bills for me and approx £395 rent & then bills on top for him). We’ve found the perfect house opposite his daughters school who he has custody of and available for the rent to buy scheme at £440 per month and with bills our total outgoings with be around £690. A massive saving for us to allow purchasing at the end of the 5 years with the money saved tucked away.

We submitted our applications and as part of this was asked to provide our own copies of our credit report. On pulling mine, it became apparent corrections were not completed from 2016 whereby I was a victim of identity fraud. This was brought to my attention back in 2015 following our company doing credit checks and the police were involved- the two criminals pleaded guilty and I was assured these fraud accounts would be corrected. Clearly not.

So, the we received a call from the Housing Association processing our application regarding the defaulted accounts. I explained the situation and that since it’s come to light the accounts weren’t closed as per my assurance at the time, I’ve raised a police complaint and complaints with the ombudsman to have it amended. I offered the crime reference and was advised it was ‘irrelevant’ as it’s ‘just my word’. Come the Monday we received an email to state our application had been denied due to the above and failing to provide any evidence...

I emailed back with a copy of a letter sent to me after the trail detailing the accounts in question, the accused names and the sentences. Following this, we went back and forth with 15 emails as the person was asking me to validate why they began to make payments when initially taking out the credit. Politely I explained I’m not the criminal and cannot explain or speculate their actions. I provided letters from HR to confirm they were aware of the defaults but deemed me not a risk due to the police investigation & I’ve been promoted TWICE since the incident.

Last Wednesday we received another email now asking for the police crime reference but from the police directly - apparently the 2017 letter didn’t have it on. By this point I’m an emotional wreck going back and forth that my partner rang and explained this process feels like a game of ping pong for every time we provide the ‘last bit of information needed’ she wants something else. She advised she only now needed the crime reference and preferably a letter from the police with it on.

I travelled to the police station where the crime was reported to obtain the reference on headed paper. The police woman couldn’t believe the validation we are being asked given the other letter explains all plus all the HR letters from a bank but produced it for us.

Today I sent it. I’ve now had ANOTHER email asking for permission (for GDPR reasons) for her to call the police to discuss the letter and crime reference in order to finalise our application. I replied and stated I didn’t feel comfortable with this as I was a victim of a sexual assault in addition to the ID Theft and the police officer on Friday confirmed there’s cross references on the case. I have had another email stating she will only discuss the fraud and this will ‘help us have our house’ as without it the application won’t continue.

My partner called 101 who said they would literally confirm my name relates next to the crime reference number and nothing more however when I called I got someone who stated they were new after confirming to me they would provide the details on the case but then backtracked when I said we were advised it wouldn’t be given.

I feel this is gone to far. 2016 was a really traumatic year for me with both of these to the extent I went to counselling up until last year and even moved from one end of the country to the other with work to escape and live my life however it seems that year wants to haunt me. He believes we’ve came this far battling her prejudgement of us racking up the defaults and might as well let her have the permission

GDPR says I’ve a right to refuse, which I have, but I feel like I’m being forced into a corner to say yes because of the house. If I say no again, she’s alluded to denying our application and using the house like a carrot & stick to me.

My anxiety has gone to shot and whilst she states she will only discuss the application fraud, given how she’s spoken to me, my partner and employer (VP rang her to ask what she wanted in a letter from HR so it was correct first time) as well as the intrusive questions being asked I don’t have faith she won’t push and obtain details about my assault as it’s mentioned in the same report.

AIBU and just give permission or is she going to far and being nosey in something delicate and sensitive despite having headed letters as proof of all?

JasperSIn Tue 23-Apr-19 19:13:26

She sounds like a loon. Office manager you can speak to?

BoomTish Tue 23-Apr-19 19:15:39

Well yes, you can refuse, but then what?

Aquamarine1029 Tue 23-Apr-19 19:15:47

You need to speak with this woman's boss. Immediately.

GertrudeCB Tue 23-Apr-19 19:16:32

Can you go above her head ?

Famalamaringwrong Tue 23-Apr-19 19:16:51

I'd just do it to get the house. Then once you're in complain complain complain. If you work in finance I'm surprised you haven't been aware and monitoring call credit, Equifax and Experian since this issue though so it is partly your own fault for not sorting your credit reports. But overall this is not your fault but if it were me I'd just go with it to get the house then raise hell after.

BoomTish Tue 23-Apr-19 19:16:58

Pressed post too early.

Yes, you can refuse, but then what? Who else can you speak to or escalate this issue to?

mimibunz Tue 23-Apr-19 19:19:49

She can ask whatever she wants but the police have a duty to protect your privacy. I would send a letter to both the police and the housing association reminding them of the defined nature of the proposed conversation and that any crossing of lines will be “very disappointing indeed”......they will get your drift. Hang in there, OP! 💐

Cherrysoup Tue 23-Apr-19 19:19:54

I’d be after speaking to the local councillor/MP or whoever can give her a massive fucking bollocking. She sounds like a total jobsworth and needs a reality check. What a bitch.

mondaylisasmile Tue 23-Apr-19 19:20:14

Don't you have some sort of escalation option to provide your summary above to, her supervisor, a team lead, a complaints team..?

I'd be trying to work around her tbh.

Goingwiththeflow2019 Tue 23-Apr-19 19:21:28

Myself and my company believed it was going to be rectified - yes I should have checked again post the trail however I was mentally dealing with the assault. HR confirmed they had been working with credit reference agencies since the trail outcome letter hence why theyve not pulled for me another internal investigation as they knew it wasn’t my credit

She does refer to her manager a lot in calls. I want to refuse on the basis it’s becoming to intrusive but at the same time, I’ve a 5 year old girl who’s excited to have a ‘home’ environment with us all. I think I’ll send another email tomorrow, ccing her manager who’s emailed previously, advising why I’m not comfortable with the proposed questions but do consent to validating the crime reference is something that relates to me

BricksInTheWall Tue 23-Apr-19 19:27:30

Get the managers email from the CC and ask for their number or from them to call you. Explain the situation, that you've provided and explained everything asked of you, and she seems to be digging for diggings sake and is in the edge of discovering something completely irrelevant to her but traumatic and private to you due to her..'thoroughness'.

Ask if someone else can take over from here on in. She sounds fucking crazy and needs correcting. She probably thinks she is being meticulous, she is actually being intrusive.

Famalamaringwrong Tue 23-Apr-19 19:28:43

No dont reply that you're just coming across difficult. Just email her saying "do whatever you need to do to finalise and accept my application swiftly" and leave the ball in her court.

Famalamaringwrong Tue 23-Apr-19 19:29:15

After you move in then make a massive complaint

Dippypippy1980 Tue 23-Apr-19 19:37:51

You need to speak to this lady’s supervisor. It sounds like she is going beyond her authority

Puzzledandpissedoff Tue 23-Apr-19 19:42:11

You need to speak with this woman's boss. Immediately

This ^^ She may have "referred to" her manager in phone calls - they may even have appeared to email you - but I wouldn't make too many assumptions around what they're actually aware of

What you need is a real, human conversation with them

itstheweekend2 Tue 23-Apr-19 19:45:49

She is out of order and asking for more than is needed (which breaches GDPR I think?). I would ask to speak to her manager and for your application to be transferred to someone else to deal with.

regmover Tue 23-Apr-19 19:46:09

Don't email. Get on the phone to her manager first thing and sort it. Ask for a meeting same day. If that manager doesn't resolve it very quickly you're heading for a formal complaint I guess, but I doubt that will happen.

LittleLongDog Tue 23-Apr-19 19:51:00

’Just email her saying "do whatever you need to do to finalise and accept my application swiftly"’
But @Famalamaringwrong the OP is worried that this woman may find out personal information regarding a sexual assault. Which is a valid worry. So she can’t really say ‘do whatever you need’.

LittleLongDog Tue 23-Apr-19 19:52:26

If you choose to call rather than emailing then I would still put it all in an email anyway so that you have it in writing.

Marmalady75 Tue 23-Apr-19 19:59:56

Phone the manager and then follow it up with an email stating what you believe was discussed and decided and ask them to confirm that is their understanding too. That way you will have it in writing and they can clarify anything.

Famalamaringwrong Tue 23-Apr-19 20:10:39

So if she finds it out what's the issue? Yes its private etc but it's not the end of the world if some random stranger who she will never speak to or see again knows something personal? And if that something personal is revealed to anyone else then it would be a breach of confidentiality and would make any future complain even greater. I would just say get on with it,get it done and get your house. Dont let a jobs worth win! Play their game then rip them a new one later.

mondaylisasmile Tue 23-Apr-19 20:29:04

Yes its private etc but it's not the end of the world if some random stranger who she will never speak to or see again knows something personal?

I'm, I really think that's bang out of order. You're essentially saying that this woman should be able to overstep legitimate boundaries about information she needs to do her job, and the OP's feelings here are invalid.


The OP shouldn't have to be worried about this woman accessing completely superfluous information about a private police matter/incident.

Famalamaringwrong Tue 23-Apr-19 20:36:27

I'm not saying it's right and she should be allowed. I'm just saying its not the end of the world if she does find out somehow. If the OP feels that this would be the end of the world then she just needs to say no and risk losing the house. If she doesn't want to risk losing the house then go with it and then complain later. I speak as a victim of a crime (mugging) and if someone found out I'd be embarrassed a bit as it was a hard time but it wouldn't stop me from pursuing my ideal home.

tessieandoz Tue 23-Apr-19 20:42:23

I agree with those that say " just play the game " and get what you want out of this situation. If you want to complain do it after you have your house.

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