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To think this is desperately sad?

(116 Posts)
IronicSeraphim Tue 23-Apr-19 16:31:01

I live on a block of six semi's, all with big gardens.

All but two of them have young children in. One, has five (aged 4ish to 16ish).

Two of those houses of children (including the one with five kids) never play in the garden. Never.

I've been a SAHP for three years and I've NEVER seen these kids in the garden. I know they're still there as o see them coming and going and on the school run.

I know it's nothing to do with me, but I can't help wondering why you'd do this?

Unicornshopkeeper Wed 24-Apr-19 20:14:45

We moved last summer, prior to that our small garden wasn't somewhere you'd want to spend much time. Regretfully DS12 and DS7 didn't spend much time out there and so aren't in the habit.
Nowadays our tiny new build garden is much more inviting and DD<1 loves it. We also have a field out the front which my DS's are starting to use.
We have 5 gardens adjacent to ours and I agree I notice which ones get used

HairycakeLinehan Wed 24-Apr-19 18:08:45

It’s not that I’m so engrossed in what I’m doing at every minute, it’s that I’m not remotely engrossed in what neighbors kids are up to. It genuinely isn’t something that I can even imagine registering with me to the degree that I’d feel the need to post about about it on the internet.

Shadowboy Wed 24-Apr-19 18:02:33

My kids almost live in the garden in the summer- they become a little feral, but I quite like it. Covered in sand, mud and leaves. They have a sand pit inside their wooden Wendy house and a mud kitchen. They have chickens and Guinean pigs to play with. I love gardening and planting veg which they help with... I can’t imagine them not going into the garden. It agree OP it’s sad they don’t use the space.

Frazzled2207 Wed 24-Apr-19 17:39:11

My kids refuse to play in the garden. Does my head in.
They do however get plenty of exercise and fresh air from all the parks, walks and other outdoorsy stuff that we do.

BigRedLondonBus Wed 24-Apr-19 17:37:40

it's freezing here, I think I'll stick to being desperately sad. grin

schoolsoutforever Wed 24-Apr-19 17:36:18

My children rarely okay in my garden; not for the want of trying on my part though. It's a small city garden and they're just not very into sports (and even if they were there wouldn't be much room). They are both slim and fit (they do swimming, gym, dancing, boxing) and we got to the park quite often too. They just don't want to go out there and I don't really feel that I can force them. It's a bit disappointing but not really sad I don't think.

loulou0987 Wed 24-Apr-19 17:34:43

I’m definitely not after a fight!!!
The point that is being made is that how can you judge someone’s life as “desperately sad” if you hand only ever seen a snap shot of their life?

Lweji Wed 24-Apr-19 17:28:28

That's because you're a desperately sad person who isn't outside all the time.

BigRedLondonBus Wed 24-Apr-19 17:26:35

Or not*

BigRedLondonBus Wed 24-Apr-19 17:25:53

Really? I'm sitting in my kitchen which faces my garden and I have no idea if my neighbours are outside of not confused

Babuchak Wed 24-Apr-19 17:21:23

posters are just after a fight now, I'd ignore. It's pretty obvious if your neighbours are outside or not, even with a big garden. It's becoming silly now.

loulou0987 Wed 24-Apr-19 17:05:56

Op I think the point people are making is... Do you stand staring at their garden for 12 hours a day? If not how on Earth do you know they NEVER go into the garden!

BingandFlop2019 Wed 24-Apr-19 17:05:52

For my child to play in I mean

BingandFlop2019 Wed 24-Apr-19 17:05:29

I would give everything I own to have a garden!!!!!

Lweji Wed 24-Apr-19 16:29:06

If I need to collect a parcel from my neighbours, then I'll pay more attention to the door.

But the truth is that the neighbours in front of me are only home for periods during the year and I'm never sure if they're in or out. I don't have the habit of taking notes of which neighbours' cars are in the building's garage or not. Or which windows are open or not.
Because it's none of my business.

Babuchak Wed 24-Apr-19 16:25:46

Most people manage to notice when their neighbours are home and need to collect a parcel from them, I don't buy for a minute that you do not notice at all if your neighbours are around - or it means they are locked inside and never put a foot outside ever grin

Lweji Wed 24-Apr-19 16:24:30

It even feels nicer not to stake out the neighbours' houses.

IronicSeraphim Wed 24-Apr-19 16:14:56

I'm actually amazed at all these days people who are so totally and utterly engrossed in everything they do, that they are completely oblivious to everything going on around them.

Must be nice to be so focused!

HairycakeLinehan Wed 24-Apr-19 12:45:05

How on earth have you even noticed this OP?
I genuinely couldn’t tell you what my neighbors are up to unless they’re encroaching on me in some way. I’m far too busy in and out, walking ddogs, heading out for the day, getting the bbq going, if it is snowing on a random Saturday morning (rare) then I’m getting stuck in and playing with DD.

I think it’s “desperately sad” that you seem to be watching this house so much you know the families movements and “moved” so much by it you start a thread on MN about these people who could be all off out at different activities, hiking, camping, spending a weekend with grandparents etc.
Get a life.

balloonyellow Wed 24-Apr-19 11:22:58

Mine have played in the garden probably twice. Paving is cracked and could trip etc. Plus smoking neighbours and their dog mess. She plays outside daily at preschool and we go to the park, walks out etc. It’s a lot to presume from garden use

nethunsreject Wed 24-Apr-19 10:54:46

I agree with you, op. My neighbour never lets her kids play in the garden: it's 'hers', apparently. Ffs.

loulou0987 Wed 24-Apr-19 10:52:32

Build a snowman on a Saturday morning? Are you in the UK op?
If you are outside spending quality time with your children (building snowmen) how can you see what they are doing?

NataliaOsipova Wed 24-Apr-19 10:21:52

oh come on, if you know the kids are at home but are never outside, it IS sad.

Not everybody is an outdoorsy person. I’m absolutely not. I never go outside “for choice”; always prefer to sit/eat indoors. My kids aren’t particularly outdoorsy (although they do sometimes enjoy playing out, more often than not they choose to play inside). What’s “sad” about it?

BigRedLondonBus Wed 24-Apr-19 10:15:47

Do you feel “desperately sad” for all the kids that live in flats then that have no outside space at all? I live in london, plenty of families with small children in high rise flats.

Rosesaredead Wed 24-Apr-19 10:13:18

Desperately sad is pretty dramatic. Like I'm sure the kids aren't imprisoned in their rooms. I didn't play in my own garden much as a kid because I was always out and about - in the park, at the beach, or the country park, or swimming, playing tennis, museums, doing hobbies, etc. Much more fun than pottering in the garden.

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