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To think this is desperately sad?

(116 Posts)
IronicSeraphim Tue 23-Apr-19 16:31:01

I live on a block of six semi's, all with big gardens.

All but two of them have young children in. One, has five (aged 4ish to 16ish).

Two of those houses of children (including the one with five kids) never play in the garden. Never.

I've been a SAHP for three years and I've NEVER seen these kids in the garden. I know they're still there as o see them coming and going and on the school run.

I know it's nothing to do with me, but I can't help wondering why you'd do this?

OneStepSideways Tue 23-Apr-19 17:04:32

I think it's sad too. If they made the garden more interesting and child friendly maybe the kids would use it more. Mine has a mud kitchen, sandpit, tadpole tank, slide and a climbing frame, and a big gravel patch she likes to play with construction vehicles in. If it was just grass I doubt she'd play out much. I like being outside gardening while she plays.

CaveDrawer Tue 23-Apr-19 17:07:21

I agree. It does seem sad. I used to leave the back door open so DD and friends could come in and out but in weather like this they’d have their meals sat on a rug in the garden and take their toys out and just pootle about. As kids even when we were too old to play we would sit in the garden with friends and chat and do our homework/revision sat on the grass. We have so much grey, drizzly weather it just seems good that children can play/eat in the garden if you’re lucky enough to have one.

ILiveInSalemsLot Tue 23-Apr-19 17:08:16

Some people are really not outdoorsy people.

Nofilter101 Tue 23-Apr-19 17:08:22

My daughter can't play in the garden as a paedo has just been arrested and bailed to his home address 4 doors down. He can see into our garden. I wish she could go in the garden again. Hopefully he will get time and be gone by the summer

Michaelbaubles Tue 23-Apr-19 17:09:01

I think it’s strange too - a park in no way replaces a garden! Mine get chucked out from the moment they get back after school on fine days and at weekends and holidays they get a bit of screen time then it’s back outside. (Disclaimer: they are allowed in the house! But I like them to be outside as much as possible - I really feel like that’s when childhood happens!)

CaveDrawer Tue 23-Apr-19 17:09:39

NoFilter how awful. I hope he’s gone soon so you can enjoy your garden again.

NaturatintGoldenChestnut Tue 23-Apr-19 17:09:44

On MN in Summer there's nary a week goes by without a thread from some MNer whinging about kids playing in the garden and being 'anti-social'.

Maybe they're out a lot.

OneDayillSleep Tue 23-Apr-19 17:14:03

Mumsnet is weird, if it isn’t someone complaining about kids being out in the garden all summer long being noisy, it’s someone complaining that their neighbour’s kids are inside the house!

monty09 Tue 23-Apr-19 17:14:07

Where I used to live my neighbor's over the road there kids only left the house once they started school, never walked to the shop or played out in there garden, it was that bad that her son was petrified when he started school as didn't know how to be around all the other kids

TinklyLittleLaugh Tue 23-Apr-19 17:15:45

Yep, we had a climbing frame, slide, playhouse with kitchen etc, sandpit/water play, lots of sit on cars. My lot were always out there. Even when they were older and we got rid of the play equipment they'd lie on the grass reading or revising or just chatting.

A garden is a real resource. Mine is sloping and quite overlooked but we just crack on with it.

My kids played out in the street and went to the park too.

Rystall Tue 23-Apr-19 17:17:29

YABU!! We’re the epitome of outdoor people but work FT during the week. Our weekends are spent on hikes, on the beach ( all seasons), in forests, up mountains etc. My happiest childhood memories are of our outings like this. I often wonder if our neighbours think like you about us though. our garden is barely used...... our NDN are the opposite though, their kids are always in the garden - always- but never go anywhere.. they’re fascinated by our outings.
Horses for courses I guess.... it’s a big world. Depends on where you live too. We’re lucky to have such fabulous places on our doorstep 🤷‍♀️

RedRiverShore Tue 23-Apr-19 17:28:17

DS always used to play in the garden, the DC from down the road used to come round and they used to play throwing those water bomb things at each other, that was the favourite game.

Babuchak Tue 23-Apr-19 17:34:04

My kids spent a lot of time in the garden when we can't be bothered or are too busy to go somewhere, so I kind of agree with you. They are not allowed to make themselves a nuisance, you can play without screaming and disrupting the neighbourhood, but they are definitively outside a lot

I do know families, with big gardens, who are NEVER home though. The kids are always taken to any place you can think about - obviously they are wealthy, but it's also a lifestyle choice.

Most of my kids friends ask to go in the garden when they come here too, I can't think of any child I know who would refuse to be outside.

If the families are out, fair enough. If the alternative is kids playing indoors or stuck in front of tv or video games, I do find that tragic and unhealthy.

Justanothershow Tue 23-Apr-19 17:37:20

My DC are in the garden every chance they get. They count down until they are allowed out in the mornings, finish dinner, straight back out etc. Much of the time they are on the trampoline. I do wonder if the neighbors hate us!

We go out too. I don't think it's an either/or thing.We have quite a small house, might be part of it.

ifoundthebread Tue 23-Apr-19 17:39:16

@nofilter you don't live in Washington do you 😂

NoSquirrels Tue 23-Apr-19 17:45:52

Meh - we don't have loads in the garden that's particularly interesting, so they're out there sometimes, but not loads as they get older. Used to more as smaller kids with sand tables and what not to occupy them. On the other hand they'd spend ages in their grandparents' garden as it's huge and more opportunity for tree climbing/den building etc.

Mostly prefer to get them outside on a long walk somewhere, or to the park or whatever.

mellongoose Tue 23-Apr-19 17:46:20

AIBU is MN code for "I must find a way to disagree with the OP despite the asking of a fairly sensible question"

OP I agree with you. When the weather is good surely you'd want the kids to run off a bit of energy in the fresh air. I would find it strange too!

WaxOnFeckOff Tue 23-Apr-19 17:49:35

Mine played out in the back garden constantly until they wanted more freedom and would go to the park or out the front or to the playground from maybe about 8/9. We had a trampoline so they would play in the back sometimes and would bring friends in from time to time, up until maybe about 12 but that was pretty intermittent tbh. I don't think they went in the garden at all after that age. I'd expect babies, toddlers and young DC to be out playing in the garden so YANBU.

Babuchak Tue 23-Apr-19 17:49:38

I also find strange people who NEVER open their windows. Of course they manage their home as they please, I just find it odd.

Lweji Tue 23-Apr-19 17:50:47

There’s been threads about neighbours complaining about children making noise in the garden.

Indeed there have.

You may find it odd, but without knowing why there's no reason why you should be sad for them.

lightsoutxo Tue 23-Apr-19 17:52:05

YABU. Growing up, we had a massive garden and to me, when we were out at the park or out sailing/fishing or out at the theme parks etc, fine. But once my house was in viewing distance, I'd much rather be indoors. When I was a teen, during family BBQs, a lot of them would be hanging around outside "enjoying the sunlight" while little old vampire me would take my plate to somewhere the sun couldn't reach. Shocking, I know.

Just live your life OP, and stop judging other people on the way they choose to live theirs. No one needs your pity.

DontDribbleOnTheCarpet Tue 23-Apr-19 17:52:35

On MN, "I feel so sad about..." usually means "I want to sneer at someone about..." so on that basis alone YABU.
Perhaps the kids used to play outside until some weirdo started staring into their gardens.

lightsoutxo Tue 23-Apr-19 17:57:09

On MN, "I feel so sad about..." usually means "I want to sneer at someone about..." so on that basis alone YABU.

It's a "nice" way of saying "look at me, I'm so enlightened unlike people who do/don't do __"

Babuchak Tue 23-Apr-19 18:02:57

oh come on, if you know the kids are at home but are never outside, it IS sad.

lightsoutxo Tue 23-Apr-19 18:14:50

oh come on, if you know the kids are at home but are never outside, it IS sad.

No it's not. Maybe they've been outside for hours at the park or at football or wherever else and want to rest INDOORS once they're home.

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