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AIBU?

To think this is desperately sad?

115 replies

IronicSeraphim · 23/04/2019 16:31

I live on a block of six semi's, all with big gardens.

All but two of them have young children in. One, has five (aged 4ish to 16ish).

Two of those houses of children (including the one with five kids) never play in the garden. Never.

I've been a SAHP for three years and I've NEVER seen these kids in the garden. I know they're still there as o see them coming and going and on the school run.

I know it's nothing to do with me, but I can't help wondering why you'd do this?

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crispysausagerolls · 23/04/2019 16:33

I’m sure you’ll get told it’s none of your business, but I think yanbu and that is very sad

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pessimisticstateofperception · 23/04/2019 16:37

My kids never play in my garden either.

We go out, they go to the park, to their friends houses, to clubs etc, but my garden is never played in. Not desperately sad at all, there are just bigger and better places to play in.

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JordanCatalano4Eva · 23/04/2019 16:38

I don’t really see why it’s sad,I’ve got six kids they never play in the garden they go to the park instead.unless you’re saying the kids never leave the house which would be sad.

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nancy75 · 23/04/2019 16:38

Dd rarely played in our garden, when we have free time we are usually out at parks, theme parks, swimming baths or doing stuff with friends & their children

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IronicSeraphim · 23/04/2019 16:39

But why wouldn't you though? Seems a bit strange that's all.

Genuinely curious. Don't your children ask to go outside?

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JordanCatalano4Eva · 23/04/2019 16:40

They don’t need to ask the back doors open all the time,they just choose to not go out the garden.

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Dressless · 23/04/2019 16:40

They might not be at home much? Or they may be playing when you aren’t looking. Or it may just be because it’s been really cold this year. Or because British gardens are too small to be interesting.

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Traveler001 · 23/04/2019 16:41

Maybe they don’t play out cos the neighbour lady is always staring in their garden 🤣

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pessimisticstateofperception · 23/04/2019 16:42

My kids are out all the time. Just not in my garden. I don't see why it's strange at all.

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LeukaeLucky · 23/04/2019 16:44

My children never use the garden either. It's quite shabby to be honest and they say there are spiders everywhere.
They happily play at the park which is only 5min away Hmm

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IronicSeraphim · 23/04/2019 16:45

What's the point in having a house with a garden if you never use it then?

Being outside is nice- and the kids can charge about and the mess matters less for a start.

Oh well, clearly I'm odd thinking this!

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haba · 23/04/2019 16:45

My children have severe hayfever, and can't play out most of the year. I can't dry their clothes or bedding outside (or their father's clothes and bedding/towels etc either).
Thankfully they're good at entertaining themselves indoors with Lego, reading, board games, computing etc.

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pessimisticstateofperception · 23/04/2019 16:49

Being outside is nice.

The garden is not the only outside space in the world fortunately.

My kids charge about in the, much bigger, space of the park, at their clubs, and in nearby playing fields etc.

I'm quite sad for your kids only having a garden area to play in, don't you take them to the park Confused

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nancy75 · 23/04/2019 16:52

What’s the point in having a garden? We keep the bbq put there!
We rarely use our garden & id be happy with just a little patio but it came with the house and we’re stuck with it

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Easterbunnyhashoppedoff · 23/04/2019 16:53

A woman I knew never allowed her dc into the garden unsupervised (4+7), and she was always too busy to go out. Whenever she did they had to be wearing shoes and she was a complete helicopter dm. Drove me nuts.
My dc would love a decent garden.
Yanbu to feel sad op.

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IronicSeraphim · 23/04/2019 16:54

Of course we go to the park. You can't send a three year old to the park while you do the washing up though...

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StCharlotte · 23/04/2019 16:55

I'm with you OP. We rented our house out for a few years and our second tenant clearly didn't use the garden (as confirmed by a neighbour). I genuinely don't understand why as, whilst not massive, it was a perfect garden for kids. When we served notice (because we were moving back after working away), she then moaned that she couldn't afford anywhere else with a garden. Nowt so queer as folk...

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Inebriatededna · 23/04/2019 16:56

There’s been threads about neighbours complaining about children making noise in the garden.

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outpinked · 23/04/2019 16:57

So you’re home all of the time watching this family therefore know the children never leave the house aside from school? I think you’re the sad one if that’s the case.

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coolestmum · 23/04/2019 16:57

How do you now they are never in the garden? Perhaps they are just well behaved and don't scream and shout in it. Mine are often in the garden but are actually very quiet kids, so maybe my neighbours think mine never go out!

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Nameusernameuser · 23/04/2019 16:57

When I was younger our friend had an enormous house with 3 beautiful gardens backing onto one another and a swimming pool. We hopped over the fence to play in the field next door Grin they probably play else where!

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Insertinspirationalquotehere · 23/04/2019 16:59

Yanbu OP. You think it's weird, I think it's weird, but some people are just not outdoorsy and are almost scared of the great wilderness as represented by their suburban garden. A school mum has a beautiful old walled garden,and her four kids are never in it because she feels she has to supervise, and there's a step she's worried about them tripping over. Youngest is 7. It would never occur to her to go and sit in the garden with a coffee. I think she's mad, I would go demented if I couldn't chuck my children into the garden for half an hour. We have two parks within five minutes walk, they do scads of activities and we hike or visit country parks every weekend, but I still need my garden. Each to their own though.

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Picklypickles · 23/04/2019 17:02

My kids don't play in our garden, we've had a rat problem so I don't want them out there. We live on the moors anyway, better than any garden!!

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crispysausagerolls · 23/04/2019 17:03

I think garden play is different than the park etc though. DS is nearly 10 months and we were at the park today but it’s much less stressful to have him playing in the garden, which he did this afternoon. His toys and slide are here; it’s peaceful; if he kicks off we can go in etc. Just much more relaxed.

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OneStepSideways · 23/04/2019 17:04

I think it's sad too. If they made the garden more interesting and child friendly maybe the kids would use it more. Mine has a mud kitchen, sandpit, tadpole tank, slide and a climbing frame, and a big gravel patch she likes to play with construction vehicles in. If it was just grass I doubt she'd play out much. I like being outside gardening while she plays.

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