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To think my sister is batshit

(164 Posts)
CaptainJaneway12 Tue 23-Apr-19 16:22:59

Younger sister, good relationship and quite close, not as much over the last couple of years though - she isn't as available with work / life etc.

When I had my daughter she was very excited to be aunt - she overstepped occasionally, calling in unannounced and daily and announcing birth on Facebook before I had chance to tell family... But I let it go as was pleased she was excited. This lasted around 4 months, then she lost interest.

She now sees DD at family gatherings, takes very little interest and has said she does not want children of her own. She never asks after her and seems frustrated with her after a short time. It upsets me as DD loves her aunt and is not naughty, just normal with lots of energy.

Sister is married and they both say that they never want a family and I know this to be true (so it's not down to fertility issues) as I took her to get map once last year and she wants to get sterilised. Despite this I still thought/hoped that she was pleased to be an aunt.

She has 2 dogs that she dotes on and sends me lots of messages/pictures of them (I don't do this with DD as she doesn't seem interested and I do t want to be a baby bore to her) I'm not really a dog person but feign interest and always ask after them and get them little doggy treats/toys if I visit.

Previously with birthdays she has dropped a present over and wished DD happy birthday. This year (5th,) nothing. I messaged her about a week after asking how she was, didn't mention birthday as assumed she had forgotten and didn't want to make her feel bad. She replied she was fine, and asked if DD had a good birthday, so hadn't forgotten. I replied she had and would love to see her aunt. She responded, "well bear in mind I won't have a present for DD, you didn't get -Dog1- or -Dog2- a birthday gift so we won't be doing birthday gifts either."

To be clear, I am very generous at Christmas and birthdays with her and her husband and am aware she has an extra person to buy return gifts for so go a little extra for them. (I have said not to bother buying for me and DH) and I have never done birthday presents for the dogs... Never occurred to me and wouldn't even know when their birthdays are.

DH says sister has lost the plot, I'm inclined to agree. Feel sorry for my DD as her adoration for her aunt obviously isn't reciprocated.

I haven't replied to sister. Don't even know what to say!

sendinallthesheep Tue 23-Apr-19 16:28:55

I wouldn't text her anything back, I would have a face to face conversation with her.

I'd want to know why it's suddenly an issue that you haven't bought presents for the dogs, if it's something you've never done. And I'd try to explain that while the dogs will literally have no idea you've missed their birthdays, your DD might be hurt that her beloved auntie hasn't so much as sent a card.

But honestly, she sounds bananas so I would tread very carefully. You know your sister best but if it was my sister, I'd be wondering if there was something wrong.

Aquamarine1029 Tue 23-Apr-19 16:30:35

Your sister is very self-absorbed, clearly, and I wouldn't hold my breath waiting for that to change. As for buying presents for her dogs, she is completely batshit.

I'm sorry your daughter won't ever have the aunt she dreams of, but this is simply never going to happen. I would make some distance between you if it were me.

Witchofzog Tue 23-Apr-19 16:32:35

I buy presents for my dog but I would not expect anyone else to do this or even to know when my dogs birthday is. She is being ridiculous

fanciedabitofachange Tue 23-Apr-19 16:35:58

Omg are you talking about my sister in law? This is exactly what mine is like!

OliviaBenson Tue 23-Apr-19 16:36:38

She's being very OTT about the dogs, but equally why are we all meant to adore everyone else's children? Some people just aren't into kids. She's never going to be the aunt you want for your daughter, so don't try and force it.

AestheticPerfection Tue 23-Apr-19 16:38:01

That's a bit weird.

Kaddm Tue 23-Apr-19 16:38:30

I just wouldn’t reply.
Your dd will have plenty of people in her life anyway.

Poloshot Tue 23-Apr-19 16:39:24

Sounds like a proper nut case

Floralnomad Tue 23-Apr-19 16:42:15

I wouldnt respond , I buy my dog birthday presents , I don’t expect my sisters to do so . When it comes to Christmas I would just give them a box of biscuits and stop presents altogether .

coolestmum Tue 23-Apr-19 16:42:36

Yep, sounds like she's lost the plot. That's a bit of a weird comparison.

I think you need to pop round and talk it out.

Clutterbugsmum Tue 23-Apr-19 16:42:37

I would think that it not your sister that doesn't want children and she doing everything to keep her husband happy. So she giving all her 'mothering' on to her dogs.

I wouldn't stop responding to her pictures, you letting her think you are as interested in her dogs as she is.

CheesePuffTheMagicDragon Tue 23-Apr-19 16:42:38

Have you posted about this before? If not the incidence rate is shocking grin

Isitweekendyet Tue 23-Apr-19 16:42:42

I'd reply... 'That's fine if you no longer wish to do birthday presents, neither we or DD would expect it, she would have been over the moon with a phone call or text. But please do not equate your pets to my child.'

But yes, OP, you're sister is batshit - and a cow at that!

Longtalljosie Tue 23-Apr-19 16:42:49

Does anyone else in your wider family have a pet? Can you ask whether she has ever bought your Mum’s cat a present, for example?

12pinkchairs Tue 23-Apr-19 16:45:18

I love my dogs, but she sounds crackers!

GabriellaMontez Tue 23-Apr-19 16:45:30

She's a massive knob.

happyhillock Tue 23-Apr-19 16:45:49

OMG she's a total fruit cake, i wouldn't be texting her again, as someone already said she has plenty other people in her life,

Honeybee85 Tue 23-Apr-19 16:46:08

Are you sure your sister doesnt want children?
Wasnt she pressured into that by her DH and now she resents you for having a DC?

It seems odd her attitude towards children changed so drastically overnight.

AmIRightOrAMeringue Tue 23-Apr-19 16:47:57

If she isn't interested in your daughter then theres not much you can do about it. Although it does show a great lack of self awareness to show no interest but then send you a load of dog updates!

But it's really wrong of her not to get your daughter a birthday present, if her reason is because you didn't get the dogs birthday presents. Firstly a dog is not really the same as a child (in that they have no concept of birthdays etc) and secondly she would be taking her frustrations with you out on a 5 year old by punishing her with no presents when she is old enough to understand...that's hardly fair

You say you've not seen her as much recently...I'm wondering if you ever try and see her just the two of you in an adult setting like going out for a drink? It was just a thought she may be jealous of your daughter for stopping you doing things the two of you used to do together?

If you do see her I'd say to her it's her choice if she buys presents for your daughter and if she doesn't want that type of relationship that's fine and you dont want to force her, however you dont want any issues between the two of you (such as her being upset at the treatment of her dogs) to affect her relationship with your daughter. As she can have a relationship with your daughter independently of you (which doesn't normally happen with dogs!)

StCharlotte Tue 23-Apr-19 16:48:59

I would actually reply "Don't be so bloody ridiculous" and leave it at that.

recrudescence Tue 23-Apr-19 16:53:01

Ha, ha, yes, officially bonkers and, obviously, a bit sad for you and your daughter. I love my dog but it would be insane to expect anyone but me to remember his birthday: dogs do not celebrate birthdays or get sad when people forget them.

FooFighter99 Tue 23-Apr-19 16:53:55

Sounds to me like she's trying to prove a point, not entirley sure what that point is (something about her not wanting kids so why should she buy for yours....) but just because she chooses to be childless doesn't mean she can't take an interest/have a relationship with her niece! FFS

My lovely brother doesn't want kids, but absolutely adores my DD and our DNephew! He treats them when he can and spends a fair amount of time with them both, because he's their uncle and he loves them

Your sister is being childish and I'm honestly not sure how I'd respond...

Oh, and I don't even buy my own dog a birthday present FFS!!

Bibijayne Tue 23-Apr-19 16:54:08

Wow your sister sounds awful. Are you sure you had a close relationship? Or was that just you making the effort? I adore my dog,but we don't get her birthday presents because she has no idea it's her birthday. A five-year-old does. Sounds like she's trying to punish you for some ridiculous self-invented slight, but she is doing that via your little girl. Do your parents know what has happened?

Floatingfancy Tue 23-Apr-19 16:56:51

She's batshit. I love and adore my two cats definitely past the point that most people would think was sane (I won't go away for more than ten days at a time for instance because I miss them too much) but I have never in my life bought them a birthday present and it would never in my wildest dreams occur to me that OTHER PEOPLE should.

BingandFlop2019 Tue 23-Apr-19 16:57:29

She sounds jealous

Floatingfancy Tue 23-Apr-19 16:57:52

And unpopular opinion on MN as expecting presents is grabby but I would be absolutely fuming if my sister didn't get my DS a birthday present (assume she was able to afford one of course).

AryaStarkWolf Tue 23-Apr-19 16:58:13

I don't even buy my own dog a birthday present. And yes your sister is bat Shit and a bit of an arsehole, you poor DD

CuriousaboutSamphire Tue 23-Apr-19 16:58:21

I'd go along the "Don't be so fucking ridiculous" route.

I'd probably send it to my mum and dad too, let them have a laugh at the self absorbedness of it!

AryaStarkWolf Tue 23-Apr-19 16:59:39

I would actually reply "Don't be so bloody ridiculous" and leave it at that.

This ^

DonkeyHohtay Tue 23-Apr-19 17:01:35

I'd go along the "Don't be so fucking ridiculous" route.

So would I. Buying presents for animals is madness.

You can't force her to be interested in your child. Not everyone is interested in children, even children they are related to. But trying to equate a child to dogs in importance is indeed batshit crazy.

BMW6 Tue 23-Apr-19 17:01:57

WTF!! Completely ridiculous OP. Tell her to get a fucking life!

MrsCasares Tue 23-Apr-19 17:02:06

That is a nasty thing to do to a 5 year old.

Morgan12 Tue 23-Apr-19 17:02:48

I'd be fuming that she has seriously compared your child to her bloody dogs!

I love dogs but jeezo.

I'd be texting back with a cheeky message. She is acting like a total cow.

BusterGonad Tue 23-Apr-19 17:03:15

I've read this before. Christmas maybe?

HoraceCope Tue 23-Apr-19 17:04:03

sounds like the green eyed monster

viques Tue 23-Apr-19 17:05:04

People can be weird about dogs. I know someone whose sil got all arsed with her for no reason that she could think of. Turned out she was very upset because SIL hadn't sent a condolence card when the dog died. Bear in mind she had spoken to her, said how sorry she was and sent a text to the same effect. But had failed to send a condolence card..........

TheGrapefulDread Tue 23-Apr-19 17:06:43

The great thing about someone obviously being batshit in the family is that position is filled and not by you. Celebrate the wins gingin

RSAcre Tue 23-Apr-19 17:06:59

It depends.
Do the dogs value your gifts, get excited before their birthdays, & write you nice thank you notes?

Fucksake. You sis is batshit.

Islands81 Tue 23-Apr-19 17:07:45

She’s 50 shades of cray.

And I say that as someone whose dearly departed dog was possibly the most indulged creature ever to walk this earth.

Honeyroar Tue 23-Apr-19 17:07:48

I have a houseful of adored dogs, but I can't believe someone would expect birthday presents for their dogs!

She needs to realise that the dogs don't know or care it's their birthday, and won't ever be upset about someone missing their birthday! This is her niece, a little girl, a living relative and not really on the same scale as a pet! Plus it's not a tally - you buy something for X and I'll buy something for Y.

I'd be inclined to say I'm sorry you're punishing your niece because your dog wasn't treated like a human. And yes I'd say she was barshit!

RockinHippy Tue 23-Apr-19 17:09:03


I'm another in the "don't be so bloody ridiculous" camp. She's nuts

itshappened Tue 23-Apr-19 17:10:54

She sounds jealous. I'm not sure that she is being truthful when she says she doesn't want children. Maybe she is struggling to conceive or hasn't met the right person to have a family with? Either way she doesn't like the attention your daughter receives. But asking you to buy presents for her dogs birthday's is totally bonkers!

PregnantSea Tue 23-Apr-19 17:11:02

She sounds unbelievably jealous. Do you think she wanted to prove a point by asking you to take her to get MAP? Because it really comes across that way...

Tell her to stop being so bloody ridiculous. She doesn't have to make a big fuss over your DD if she isn't bothered but it's offensive to compare her to the dogs. And I say this as a dog person.

She's a selfish, self-absorbed, childish person and I would distance myself from her until she grows up a lot.

HoraceCope Tue 23-Apr-19 17:12:50

Sounds like she has got something going on, perhaps she is having second thoughts about having a family.

IHateUncleJamie Tue 23-Apr-19 17:14:43

Firstly, dog owners buying their own dog a present is fine; my dog loves Christmas morning because he gets to unwrap a few presents (surprisingly tidily too).

Not buying my niece a bday present because my db hasn’t bought my dog a present though? Absolutely ridiculous. Your sister sounds bonkers, OP.

Are you certain she doesn’t want children though? It’s no excuse for her behaviour but I wonder if she felt broody when your dd was a baby and then either couldn’t conceive or her DH flatly refused to try?

I would definitely reply that she’s being ridiculous; dogs have no concept of birthdays; children absolutely do.

SongforSal Tue 23-Apr-19 17:14:56

Oh Lordy. This reminds me of a colleague who adamantly does not want children. Yet she talks about her 'little boy' and how when she works he 'misses his Mummy'.... I would love to shout ITS A BLOODY DOG YOU FRUITBAT!

Your sister needs a talking to!

iloveruby Tue 23-Apr-19 17:19:35

YANBU and I'd create some distance between you two - particularly in relation to your little girl.

AnneLovesGilbert Tue 23-Apr-19 17:21:37

I’m sorry you’re hurt OP, I would be too. But I had to laugh reading your post because my DB and SIL have dogs instead of DC and I’ve literally just been thinking I must send the dogs some presents as DB is always so thoughtful and generous to my DC. We always make extra effort with gifts for DB and SIL and get the dogs small gifts at Christmas but I’ve been feeling bad about the inequality over all and was eyeing personalised bowls for them!

WTFisThat Tue 23-Apr-19 17:23:06

Yanbu, how ridiculous of her!

Butterflyone1 Tue 23-Apr-19 17:24:05

I would be livid if I were you!!

I don't have my own DC yet and have a dog but would never expect someone to buy my dog a present.

My sister used to try something similar and she'd say "Are we only buying for the children this year?" and I would tongue in cheek say sure my dog loves a bone. This is only because she has three kids who of course I'd always buy for.

Anyways I would try and explain to her that a dog and a child have different understanding and if she wants to be that selfish then she should be the one to explain to your DD why she has nothing from Aunty.

outpinked Tue 23-Apr-19 17:25:13

My Aunt was like this with her dog and everyone thought it was because she couldn’t conceive naturally but even after they had their DD through IVF she was still exactly the same with the dog. My DM still laughs about the time they first visited with my baby cousin, my Uncle was juggling baby and changing bag whilst she carried the dog grin. When the dog died she had weeks of mourning and still has a framed photo of the dog on the mantelpiece, there’s more photos of her dog than her DD!

Some people are loopy. It could be possible your sister isn’t the one who doesn’t want children though, rather her husband doesn’t and she is jealous of you. I would talk to her about it in person.

LaurieFairyCake Tue 23-Apr-19 17:26:35

I would just assume she has a very complex relationship with the idea of having children and hasn't resolved it.

I adore my dog (I'm crazy about her) and don't expect anyone to send her anything as that would be very weird.

Hearhere Tue 23-Apr-19 17:28:13

imo she's jealous that you've progressed further in life than she has, you've attained the status of parent and that give you more 'weight' than her, so she's trying to outrank you by positioning her dogs as child equivalents.

I'd find it hard not to just take the piss out of her though...

Yesicancancan Tue 23-Apr-19 17:28:49

Awww but you forgot her liddle fur baby birthday !! What a terrible aunt grin
She is batshit

duckduckgoose2 Tue 23-Apr-19 17:31:52

I’d send a concerned reply saying this is really out of character and you’re there if she needs to talk - something is clearly going on with her. The behaviour is certainly crazy on the face of it, there’s more to it.

GuineaPiglet345 Tue 23-Apr-19 17:33:13

Did she throw a party for the dogs? Misses point of thread.......

acomingin Tue 23-Apr-19 17:38:45

Another vote for "Don't be so bloody ridiculous" and leave it at that.

artemisdubois Tue 23-Apr-19 17:40:24

Bizarre! I adore dogs and am fairly indifferent to most children, but that's such a crazy and cold way to behave towards a 5 year old niece.

NameChangeNugget Tue 23-Apr-19 17:42:26

The wheel turns but, the hamster ain’t on it.

YANBU. She sounds crackers

TheClaifeCrier Tue 23-Apr-19 17:43:35

Has she always been so self absorbed? I'd reply and ask her if the dogs are as hurt as your DD by having a birthday missed.

SaveThePangolin Tue 23-Apr-19 17:43:56

HearHear *imo she's jealous that you've progressed further in life than she has, you've attained the status of parent and that give you more 'weight' than her This is ridiculous. People who are not parents are in no way lower status than parents.

PyongyangKipperbang Tue 23-Apr-19 17:49:05

Well if it was my sister I could message her with "Dont be so fucking stupid, no one buys presents for dogs! But if you dont want to get DD anything for her birthday I understand, and we wont bother with Xmas presents either". Then dont get anything for her and her husband for Xmas either.

Bringbackthestripes Tue 23-Apr-19 17:49:07

I would actually reply "Don't be so bloody ridiculous" and leave it at that.

^this. And send her a link to this thread grin

screamifyouwant Tue 23-Apr-19 17:51:44

She's comparing your dd to her dog !
I know pets are like part of the family I have a dog , but I wouldn't dream of expecting anyone to buy a present for my dog .
I'm baffled by this confused
Your right she's batshit shock

xTinkerhellx Tue 23-Apr-19 17:55:41

If it were my sister I would reply with 'you're a fucking fruit loop' and plan what to spend the money I'd save on birthday and Christmas gifts for them on.

maddieharrison Tue 23-Apr-19 18:03:43

She sounds really jealous to me. It's her loss if she doesn't want to celebrate her nieces birthday and have a relationship with her. Children remember birthdays and dogs don't know or care about theirs. Your daughter will remember.

LittlePaintBox Tue 23-Apr-19 18:05:10

It's her loss if she's got an adoring niece and isn't building on that relationship.

Of course it isn't all about presents, the excitement of a present is that it's something personal that a special person has given to you.

If she really does see your DD as being on the same level as a pet, maybe it's a good thing she doesn't want a family!

M4J4 Tue 23-Apr-19 18:05:39

Sounds like you've been too generous with sis and BIL.

I would tell sis let's stop doing presents. Don't let her hold you to random, your dd won't care about not getting presents from her aunt.

And I doubt your dd loves her aunt. She's familiar to her, but your sis would have to love dd for dd to lover her.

QueenBeex Tue 23-Apr-19 18:08:16

she would be taking her frustrations with you out on a 5 year old by punishing her with no presents when she is old enough to understand

^^^ this !!

MissConductUS Tue 23-Apr-19 18:09:23

I'd ask her if the dogs were terribly upset by the paucity of their birthday presents.

I like to ask DH what he's getting the cats for their birthdays and his standard response is "another year of food, shelter and veterinary care", and he's bonkers for them.

MsTSwift Tue 23-Apr-19 18:10:33

Bit short sighted of your sister. I work with elderly clients and if they don’t have children of their own they invariably ask nephews and nieces to help manage their affairs/ be appointed their attorneys etc. Dh and I are for my childfree uncle and happy to do so.

lilabet2 Tue 23-Apr-19 18:11:31

That's so odd!

I love my dog and she gets lots of presents but I'd never expect other people to buy dog toys etc., let alone remember DDog's birthday!

She needs to realise that hurting a little five year old's feelings, is not the same as accidentally forgetting to buy a dog a present!

CaptainJaneway12 Tue 23-Apr-19 18:13:24

Thanks for all the replies.
Glad to see I'm not being unreasonable.
It's sad because sister is the only aunt and when I had DD she was so over excited.
I am sure she doesn't want kids, she has made some remarks in the past, and I think DD made her realise kids aren't accessories or dolls and it put her off.
I still haven't replied, silence is probably best as I don't want a row.

NellieEllie Tue 23-Apr-19 18:15:45

Are her dogs going to question why they haven’t see you? Or wonder why they didn’t get a card/present on their birthday from you? Is it important to her dogs’s welfare to have good, loving relationships with you?
I have 2 dogs and love them to bits. They are part of the family, but your DS is being crazy.
I can only think that:
1. She is super mean, and thinking that she gets presents for your DD - or used to, but got nothing back, so present giving is “unequal”. Also barmy. Though I get my DB presents from the kids as well as from me to even stuff out......though I’m paranoid.
2. The having kids stuff is a touchy subject. Maybe she does want kids, but her partner doesn’t. Maybe there is some unknown reason why she has made the decision but is not happy with it....

Whatever, I’d think I’d say that it’s important to you that your DD has a relationship with her aunt whom she adores. If she doesn’t want to give presents, of course she is not obliged to. I would leave all mention of dogs out of it, on the basis that it is crazy. No one has to justify not giving dogs presents.

MsTSwift Tue 23-Apr-19 18:17:08

It’s abit rubbish when you feel your kids miss out on the nice family relationships you had as a child because the individuals concerned not the slightest bit interested. In laws like that. They emigrated because “nothing to keep us in England”. Errr your sons and grandchildren?!

gottastopeatingchocolate Tue 23-Apr-19 18:19:52

I'd message my sister, "So sorry! Fifi and Rover never mentioned their birthdays were coming up the last time I saw them!"

EleanorLavish Tue 23-Apr-19 18:23:02

I can understand you wanting to avoid a row,OP. But this kind of thing breeds simmering resentment. And that pot of simmering resentment is going to boil over one day...rightly so too.
She is extremely rude and bloody deluded!

QueenBeex Tue 23-Apr-19 18:24:04

@gottastopeatingchocolate 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

NotStayingIn Tue 23-Apr-19 18:33:29

Wow, that is very odd!

As tempting (and justified) as it is I wouldn’t minimise her feelings by saying anything negative about the dogs. God knows what is going on there.

I think the very first poster had it spot on, focus on letting her know that her niece might get hurt by it and surely she wouldn’t want that.

Chloemol Tue 23-Apr-19 18:33:51

I would just respond along the lines of sorry I didn’t get the dogs a present, no idea when their birthdays are and you’ve never not bought until now. Been thinking that perhaps it’s time to stop buying Christmas and birthday pressies for each other now. Then I would use that money on your child

Cornettoninja Tue 23-Apr-19 18:35:23

I think your approach is probably best right now but I have a feeling your dsis isn’t going to drop this stance now she’s taken it and it’ll just crop back up at the next ‘event’ - maybe Christmas?

I think you may have to make it clear at the next natural point presents might be exchanged that you want to put an end to gifts/cards. she clearly feels put out about it and you would hate anyone to feel obliged to you. It would just be weird if she bought you a birthday or Christmas gift/card but not your daughter. Best to just leave it altogether to be honest.

I would still want to tell her that fur babies are strictly mums and dads only, it is not a normal societal expectation to extend that to aunts/uncles/godparents.

I understand you feel sad for your daughter but she won’t give it more than a passing thought really. I grew up with lots of aunts and uncles in another country and didn’t hear diddly squat from them. As much as I want my daughter to have a good relationship with her extended family, I know for a fact you don’t miss what you don’t have.

CaptainJaneway12 Tue 23-Apr-19 18:45:42

Love that, made me smile, thank you! Gold!

RevealTheLegend Tue 23-Apr-19 18:50:57

How about

‘Well I would get a present but the ungrateful bastards (bitches?) never sent me a thank you card‘

rosevioletlily Tue 23-Apr-19 18:54:59

She’s nutty and so rude!!! Dogs are not the same as children. Those dogs aren’t your nieces/nephews. You seem entirely reasonable OP especially acknowledging that they have an extra person to buy for at Christmas so you try and go a bit extra for them. That would really piss me off

therearenogoodusernamesleft Tue 23-Apr-19 18:55:03

Or sounds like she can't have kids, for whatever reason, and is struggling to come to terms with it. Hence distancing herself from yours, and for now insisting her dogs are the equivalent.

A compassionate conversation might be a good starting point - if she then carries on being odd, that's a different matter. I'd give her the benefit of doubt for now.

Nomorepies Tue 23-Apr-19 18:57:09

Agree batshit, no one can surely expect Birthday presents for their dogs?!

Mean if her not to buy anything for her niece. Sounds like my parents they are they same and are obsessed with their dog, ignore my children completely.

qazxc Tue 23-Apr-19 18:57:22

She's batshit but there's no point in having it out with her.
Before Christmas just say" let's not do presents". Spend money you'd have spent on them on DD. DD will adjust to the fact that batshit auntie does not do presents.

EvaHarknessRose Tue 23-Apr-19 18:59:19

Did she swoop in when dd was born so she could still be centre of attention, and then didn’t like not being the focus as time went on?

nauseous5000 Tue 23-Apr-19 18:59:54

Have you posted about this before? I have mega deja by

whitesoxx Tue 23-Apr-19 19:01:12

Barking mad (literally). Birthday presents for dogs? Ffs

Cherrysoup Tue 23-Apr-19 19:02:30

Dogs are not the same as children. She’s being ridiculous. Why has she decided now is the time to stop buying presents when you’ve never got the dogs any?

I adore my dogs, but I couldn’t tell you their birthday!

RockinHippy Tue 23-Apr-19 19:03:16


I think DD made her realise kids aren't accessories or dolls and it put her off.

I think you've hit the nail on the head there.

This reminded me of my SIL when DD was tiny & this was exactly it. DD was fine as a quiet pretty accessory so that SIL could take her out with her friends who did have DCs. The minute DD had an opinion of her own though, she was mostly dropped like a hot brick l. SIL is also childless by choice.

CaptainJaneway12 Tue 23-Apr-19 19:09:06

Never posted before about this, first time it's been an issue.
I was disappointed that she wasn't that interested in DD before, but this is the first time she has been put on par with the dogs... 😑

CaptainJaneway12 Tue 23-Apr-19 19:12:04

Yes she did! I'm not on sm but my DH is and she was posting about being excited about being an aunt, as I said before she announced birth before I had told people that mattered, posted lots of pics of her holding baby...
Then 4 months hit and it wanted off to very little. Then snide remarks about kids, about them being a tie, and generally dismissive... Now this.

CaptainJaneway12 Tue 23-Apr-19 19:12:43


Unicornshopkeeper Tue 23-Apr-19 19:17:37

I've also definitely read this before

Slightly scary to think that there's two of them

MarieIVanArkleStinks Tue 23-Apr-19 19:21:02

Yes, her recent behaviour does sound batshit. But it's so off the wall it does raise the question of whether there's a piece of the picture you are not seeing here, OP. It's true some people are just hopeless, but in a sister with whom you previously had a good relationship the symptoms would probably have manifested themselves long before now.

Your DC comes first, and you're right to keep your distance and protect her from feeling rejected by a close family member. Cutting your sister out of your life sounds very drastic, but I'd certainly be keeping her at arm's length as long as she keeps up this kind of attitude.

I'd be out of patience with her too.

Moralitym1n1 Tue 23-Apr-19 19:23:36

she announced birth before I had told people that mattered

The above and the dog/birthday present thing ...

No, no, no.

Distance yourself gently and quietly. Do whatever you need to gently discourage your dad's interest/excitement about her.

This kind of crazy doesn't go away and often gets even worse with age.

I really really hope she doesn't have kids if he'd own

Moralitym1n1 Tue 23-Apr-19 19:24:01


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