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Pregnancy announcement reaction

(91 Posts)
Catmom2019 Tue 23-Apr-19 15:23:17

My husband and I announced our pregnancy to my BIL and SIL yesterday by showing them a scan picture. SIL said they had known for ages and had been watching my moves for months and that it wasn’t at all a surprise. I was so taken aback as my husband and I hadn’t told anyone our news and didn’t come up with excuses about not drinking etc by swapping drinks at family get togethers etc. They didn’t congratulate us and that was the end of the convo. I was quite upset at her comments and his lack of interest so I text her earlier saying how upset I was at her reaction. BIL is now attacking me for making her upset! AIBU? The only thing that made me text her was because she had text me saying you need to find out the sex. Tell me off if you think I overreacted...

Eslteacher06 Thu 23-May-19 16:58:15

Sorry I've just noticed it's been shown above!

SerenDippitty Thu 23-May-19 16:57:16

‘Announcing’ pregnancies makes me cringe - especially by showing someone a scan picture. They’re your relatives, you tell them like normal human beings, they congratulate you, job done.

This. I don’t get the need for all the theatricals.

Eslteacher06 Thu 23-May-19 16:52:12

I noticed the "reverse" post for this yesterday on here and someone called @catmom2019 out. Then looking on FB I see this again on Netmums! What's all that about?! Just leave it??

EightAce Thu 23-May-19 10:41:51

I'll never forget the time we told my parents that we were expecting another (our third) child. Honestly it was like telling them I'd failed all of my A-Levels. We've never really got past that TBH.

EnglishRose13 Thu 23-May-19 07:19:48

@aIways

The OP posted that in here yesterday, too. Under the same username as this thread. It got deleted.

FIRSTTIMEMUMMA81 Wed 22-May-19 23:27:56

I would be the same. How horrendous not to congratulate you? This is such a special time... poor form. Even worse for BIL to get on at you.

Think they have been trying to get pregnant?

goose1964 Wed 22-May-19 23:23:58

I agree that it is quite easy to tell if someone is pregnant. In DDs last pregnancy I knew before it was confirmed due to the constant trips to the loo.

It's possible that as they'd successfully guessed it the actual confirmation was more exciting at that moment than the news you were pregnant.

aIways Wed 22-May-19 23:02:27

Oh my god that netmums post! 👀

EnglishRose13 Wed 22-May-19 19:37:42

@blackcatclocks

It's just so bizarre. It wouldn't be so bad if the story didn't keep changing! I can't take this as anything more than a wind up now.

Ridiculous.

dayswithaY Wed 22-May-19 19:20:27

Sorry to break it to you but most people don't care. My MIL just rolled her eyes when we told her I was pregnant with her first grandchild. You haven't confirmed whether your SIL has children or not. In that situation, I would assume they were trying for a baby and given her history of being competitive, that she wanted to get pregnant before you. Not your fault of course, but I would have been a bit more low key with my "announcement" in case they were struggling to conceive. You let yourself down with the text though, breezy is the only way to treat these situations. You might want to develop a thicker skin soon as you will discover your child is just one of billions in the world. It will save you a lot of time in the future to know your child is mostly only interesting to you. Congratulations though.

blackcatclocks Wed 22-May-19 18:44:43

@EnglishRose13 the level of attention seeking is pathetic isn't it! I can't believe these people don't have better things to do with their lives!

Buddytheelf85 Wed 22-May-19 18:37:34

‘Announcing’ pregnancies makes me cringe - especially by showing someone a scan picture. They’re your relatives, you tell them like normal human beings, they congratulate you, job done.

You decided to ‘announce’ it to them with a picture because you wanted the maximum amount of attention and impact. And now you’re disappointed and annoyed because they didn’t give you what you wanted. Their reaction was a bit mean but was probably provoked by your obvious desire for attention.

EnglishRose13 Wed 22-May-19 18:25:17

This is getting ridiculous now...

werideatdawn Tue 23-Apr-19 20:23:13

What is it that you feel givesyoua free pass to be such an unpleasant dick?

Weariness with precious people who can't see past themselves to wish well on their families. smile

Coyoacan Tue 23-Apr-19 19:47:02

What did you hope to achieve with your text, OP? It sounds like you don't like your SIL, so why bother?

We don't have to tell everyone we don't like that we don't like them. I only complain to people I care about, because our relationship is valuable to me and I want to sort out a problem, why fight unnecessarily with someone you don't like and are going to have to see for years to come?

RosamundDarnley Tue 23-Apr-19 18:51:12

Someone at my work told me they had known ”back in January when you were off sick with that”cold”” when I announced my pregnancy in the October. Considering dd was born in the following April I dread to think what species she thought I was...

whohaa Tue 23-Apr-19 18:43:17

People will always say they knew. I told DHs aunt yesterday. We haven't had any contact with her for months and told her as soon as she walked in the door, yet apparently she already knew. Once you're married and child-bearing age, people will suspect you're pregnant 100% of the time. People have been wrong about it for over 3 years now, yet because I actually am pregnant this time, this means they were clever and 'just knew'. hmm

IceCreamAndCandyfloss Tue 23-Apr-19 18:37:31

Very rudeness to text that they failed to meet your expectations over your announcement.

I never get the big announcement thing, gender reveal . Nobody else really cares bar maybe the grandparents imo.

NewAccount270219 Tue 23-Apr-19 18:31:35

Yanbu. The "fertility issues give you a free pass to be an unpleasant dick" brigade will tell you that you are though.

What is it that you feel gives you a free pass to be such an unpleasant dick?

HBStowe Tue 23-Apr-19 18:21:38

I think they were a bit rude but that texting them about it was an overreaction. People don’t always get these things right all the time.

Ginger1982 Tue 23-Apr-19 18:19:43

YABVU! They could have said congratulations at least but it was completely OTT to text her. You clearly don't like her. Do they have kids? They could be struggling.

NoSauce Tue 23-Apr-19 18:02:17

Obviously there’s some history between the two of you?

Waveysnail Tue 23-Apr-19 17:54:55

So mil had prewarned u that they knew?

jellycatspyjamas Tue 23-Apr-19 17:45:19

I can’t believe they did t even say congratulations - surely that’s an automatic response when someone says they’ve got engaged, are pregnant or whatever. It’s not about being super excited about someone else’s pregnancy - it’s common courtesy. I’d be disappointed that they couldn’t even manage that, especially after having a miscarriage.

MsSquiz Tue 23-Apr-19 17:31:39

I don't think you are being unreasonable in wanting a simple "congratulations" from your in laws.

How difficult is it to congratulate your brother/sister and their wife/husband on something that is clearly exciting for them?
It doesn't have to be the centre of your universe, but a hug and a smile or whatever wouldn't go amiss

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