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To say no to DDs sixth form choice?

(100 Posts)
TheStirrer Mon 22-Apr-19 11:04:54

Daughter has decided she wants to study the International Baccalaureate as couldn’t pick 3 a levels. In particular she wanted to do maths, physics, chemistry & geography & a language. All fine as she’s a good all rounder and she wanted to keep options open as interested in Urban design and sustainability.

IB choices limited nearby but found a day school with an 1 hr / 1.15 hour bus commute / walk offering the choices.

Also applied to United World Colleges and offered a boarding place overseas but have since discovered they can’t offer geography. DD has decided to do global politics instead. I just don’t feel comfortable and am worried she will regret not doing geography. She will be going half way round the world and it will be a huge culture shock/change as it is and am worried how she’ll cope if she hates the subject. Limited other humanities choices - economics, anthropology or history.

I have mentioned this and she is really upset as really wants to go and I suspect will resent being sent to other school which also won’t be a good start.

I am really conflicted as to what to do ....

Wheresmyvagina Mon 22-Apr-19 11:05:59

The overseas school sounds like a great opportunity. I wouldn't say no simply because of the lack of geography.

Bambamber Mon 22-Apr-19 11:06:58

Let her make her own decision

Pinkpeanut27 Mon 22-Apr-19 11:10:29

Do you know it’s super hard at this age , I’m
In exactly the same position with mine . They have decided to stay at current school but are not at all decided about A levels and I do t like their choices . However I’m leaving it to them and school to guide them . I just ask a few questions about what their next steps might be and what effect that might have on their choices .
I wish I was a parent who was just happy with them deciding but I’m not partly because I don’t understand the world they are going into .

I’d just talk things through with your dd to make sure she fully understands her choices , make her look at the detail rather than just the big picture but at no point tell her she shouldn’t do it because you will always get the blame if things don’t work out .

Scabetty Mon 22-Apr-19 11:10:53

You can advise but ultimately she should make her own decision.

TravellingSpoon Mon 22-Apr-19 11:11:56

There are so m any threads on MN of adults who regret letting their parents tell them what to do at 6th form/Uni, and how it has affected them.

Let her make her own decision. Its her who has to study it.

howmanyleftfeet Mon 22-Apr-19 11:12:08

Global politics sounds like a fascinating subject, and a good substitute for geography.

Not doing geography is not a good enough reason to override her on this decision. She may resent you forever. Heck, I still feel a little resentment for my parents talking me out of doing art 20 years, and they didn't even override me, they just talked me out of it.

This is a great opportunity, let her do it if she wants to.

howmanyleftfeet Mon 22-Apr-19 11:12:54

*20 years ago

LIZS Mon 22-Apr-19 11:13:33

Humanities teaching in overseas schools differs to U.K anyway. Global politics sounds really interesting and could make a good focus for her uni personal statement.

GemmeFatale Mon 22-Apr-19 11:15:13

Worst case scenario is she spends six months to a year studying overseas, decides it’s not for her, moves back and studies locally for two years before heading to uni/work/whatever a year behind her peers. So many young people take a gap year, or repeat/drop back a year (particularly if they’ve spent time overseas) that it won’t be a big deal.

moreismore Mon 22-Apr-19 11:15:40

I think she will learn far more in terms of usable and marketable skills from living abroad and independently than she ever could from studying geography.

Bunnybigears Mon 22-Apr-19 11:16:25

Let her go it sounds like a fantastic opportunity and she will learn far more life skills etc living overseas. She can do an A level in Geography at any time in her life. She could even do one online whilst at the overseas college.

Stompythedinosaur Mon 22-Apr-19 11:17:48

That sounds like an absolutely brilliant opportunity and I think you would be very unreasonable to say no!

Offallycheap Mon 22-Apr-19 11:18:26

Other people’s child : “wow what a great opportunity, she will learn so much, let her go.”

My child : “the 6th form at the end of the road is just fine.”


Katterinaballerina Mon 22-Apr-19 11:18:27

If you’re considering boarding overseas are there no boarding opportunities in the UK that offer what she wants?

TheSmallAssassin Mon 22-Apr-19 11:20:46

Sh knows herself better than you do. If the worst that might happen is that she hates the subject then really, what are you worried about? The whole experience far outweighs studying a subject you're not 100% about for a couple of years, especially as she's so keen to go.

Ginkythefangedhellpigofdoom Mon 22-Apr-19 11:27:13

Omg if I'd had that opportunity I'd have literally jumped at it!

If she regrets not studying geography she can do it at a later date, either through ou or part time course while she works in the field her first degree gives her access to.

Or if she hates it then she can come home and gain a place somewhere local, she'll graduate a year or two later but no later than the gap year kids.

I suppose though it depends on the country she would be living in.

recededpronunciation Mon 22-Apr-19 11:27:51

IB is a great choice. Would global politics be at higher or standard level? I might be concerned if it was at higher level if she wasn’t 100% sure about taking it. Not so worried if standard level. Studying abroad can be a great experience, I’d probably need to weigh that up against the pros and cons of being away from home and settling in to a new place and routine against a relatively long commute to and from the local(ish) IB provision. What year is she in now? How long do you have to decide? Ultimately, which school does she feel she would be happier in?

PregnantSea Mon 22-Apr-19 11:28:57

It's her decision. If she's really keen on place overseas then you should just let her go. She'll only resent you if you push it too hard, she'd never thank you

slithytove Mon 22-Apr-19 11:39:50

Uwc is great as well, which one is it? Singapore is particularly amazing.

AnnieMay100 Mon 22-Apr-19 11:41:18

She’s an adult now she can’t make her decisions in life based on her mums opinion. Let her go and enjoy life it’s a great opportunity so encourage her and let her fly the nest you can’t tell her what to do forever. I know it’s hard but she sounds sensible and intelligent, holding her back will affect your relationship and her career.

MrsSpenserGregson Mon 22-Apr-19 11:44:17

No she's not an adult now, she's either 15 or 16 if I've read the OP's post correctly. At this age the parents absolutely do have a say in their child's decision!

OP, does your daughter already go to boarding school? Will she cope with being away from you for such a long time?

RevealTheLegend Mon 22-Apr-19 11:46:08

Interestingly i didn’t do a—level geography. I now have a couple of degrees and a postgraduate qualification in a related field. And I’m now at the point it might be useful in my career (thinking of a sideways move and it would look good)

Don’t let her miss a golden opportunity for the sake of one very common a—Level it isn’t that hard to do them as a mature student.

aibutohavethisusername Mon 22-Apr-19 11:49:31

I think the overseas option sounds amazing. Easier for her day to day than an hour and a half commute too.

Namechangeforthiscancershit Mon 22-Apr-19 11:49:32

Surely this is a decision between boarding on the other side of the world and staying at home and going to a day school, not really about one IB subject?

Is your DD ready to live so far away from you? Can you afford it with/without lots of sacrifices?

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