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To think family should have taken my son fishing?

(60 Posts)
ladymorgan Sun 21-Apr-19 11:34:03

So my fil, owns a stretch of river for fishing/enjoyment. He had owned half of it with his best friend who snuffed it. My Brother in Law then bought the other “half” of the river from the deceased, if that makes sense.

Anyhow. Brother in law and my ds’s cousins were visiting from New York where they live. They have a 4x4 landrover they keep here to drive to the river. So dbro took his kids and fil.

He knew my ds was home from uni and enjoys going fishing, and they had room in the car. However, they didn’t think of inviting ds even though he will technically be in line to inherit the half of the river owned by his gfather.

AIBU to think it was a bit selfish not to take ds too?

Poloshot Sun 21-Apr-19 15:28:57

@LordPickle by owning the land adjoining it and the fishing rights rather than the river itself

sweeneytoddsrazor Sun 21-Apr-19 14:44:12

What would happen to someone casually swimming upstream who accidentally strayed into this bit of river? Could they be fined for trespass or jailed as a spy. Does it have a hard border or backstop? So many unanswered questions.

ReSistingPink Sun 21-Apr-19 14:26:51

The fact that certain human beings have enough privilege to 'own' half a river makes me furious.

That's all.

SilverySurfer Sun 21-Apr-19 13:13:53

Maybe FiL wanted to spend some time just with his DS and DGC as they live abroad. Not sure why you think your DS should be entitled to be invited to everything and if he wanted to go, he's an adult and could have asked. I'm guessing you think your DS is missing out and care more than he does.

ladymorgan Sun 21-Apr-19 13:01:29

Lordpickle, if you’re a lord you would know winkgrin

Littlechocola Sun 21-Apr-19 12:58:11

No definitely not @WorraLiberty but as with any phrase you would use common sense. I would never be rude and I apologise if I’ve upset you or anyone else.
A long passed acquaintance depending on the conversation, yes. An acquaintance who’s child has passed away, never.

LordPickle Sun 21-Apr-19 12:55:30

How can you own a river?

TigersRoll Sun 21-Apr-19 12:52:05

“Gone to Hell” 😂😂😂 oh my god can you imagine the outcry if OP put “his best friend who has gone to hell” . I don’t even know why I’m finding this thread so hilarious but it’s brightened up my day!

WorraLiberty Sun 21-Apr-19 12:44:34

So if god forbid someone's child died for example, you'd think it was perfectly acceptable to say "I'm really sorry to hear your child snuffed it" Littlechocola?

If the answer is no, then surely you can see how it's a bit disrespectful/dismissive?

Acis Sun 21-Apr-19 12:44:18

I suppose they could have invited him, but I don't think it was necessarily wrong of them not to.

By the way, are you sure your son is in line to inherit his grandfather's half? Don't brother in law's children come in for that?

OKBobble Sun 21-Apr-19 12:41:36

So your FIL wantes sone one on one time with family he hardly sees ather than including someone he can see mkre frequently.

What do you assume yiur DS will inherut the other half share or do you mean potentialky inherit with other people?

Littlechocola Sun 21-Apr-19 12:36:35

Is your ds upset?
I would just drive him there if his cars at the garage and he wants to go. Although if he’s discussed plans he could have said he wanted to go?

Snuffed it is a perfectly acceptable phrase here too!

SuperSara Sun 21-Apr-19 12:28:08

I’m ignoring the fishing trip invitation etiquette and wondering about the inheritance.

Your father in law and one of his sons - your brother in law, not your husband - own the river, but your son is in line to inherit it from your father in law?

What about your brother in law, his family, and your husband (plus any other siblings)?

Is it already in your father in law’s will that your son gets his share, rather than a closer relative?

Sounds a bit odd that’s all.

NoSauce Sun 21-Apr-19 12:26:18

Oh right. I thought Sonja was a bit like Sharon.

FreshAprilStart Sun 21-Apr-19 12:23:11

The river inheritance is mentioned as OP is implying it's really her son's river and as the owner he should be consulted and invited or the plebs won't be allowed to fish there in the future.

And, yes, I'm truly over invested in this thread, but where else do you get river ownership, New York visitors, 4x4, dismisses snuffed friend (clearly back story there) and possible outing of OP as Sonja ....


Ated Sun 21-Apr-19 12:23:10

Snuffed it, Brown Bread, Kicked the bucket, Not saved by the bell, passed over, gone to hell, gone to meet his maker, food for worms, or just Died. They all convey the same meaning, so why be sensitive.

Rainbunny Sun 21-Apr-19 12:16:14

It sounds very much as though they specifically wanted to spend time together catching up, just the two of them. No mystery at all, your DS made it clear that he could be available and they clearly decided not to invite him. It's not rude at all, they weren't obliged to invite him (even if he will be in line to inherit a bit of some river, which is relevant why precisely?) It's not a snub either they likely just wanted a nice day relaxing in each other's company.

Dippypippy1980 Sun 21-Apr-19 12:15:35

inheroting the river is completely irrelevant- and a little grabby.

Your sone is an adult who missed out on a fishing trip. I am sure he could offer to take his grandfather fishing some other time.

I think you need to let it go.

Dyrne Sun 21-Apr-19 12:15:09

Is this one of those threads that turns out to be about the Archers or the Royal family or something? Is the FIL Prince Philip?

Tevion10 Sun 21-Apr-19 12:14:55

I understand how op feels adult ds or not.
It would have been nice for them to have asked but hey.
Op how does your ds feel.

NoSauce Sun 21-Apr-19 12:14:29

Who’s Sonja?

WorraLiberty Sun 21-Apr-19 12:11:20

Is your DS as bothered as you are OP?

If so, has he sent them a text asking if they forgot to tell him they were going today?

I must admit, an adult being overlooked for a fishing trip is a bit of a strange thing for his mother to start an internet thread about.

JacquesHammer Sun 21-Apr-19 12:09:37

It’s possible if one part of the family lives abroad and they don’t spend much time here, FIL wants to spend some time with just them?

EjectorCrab Sun 21-Apr-19 12:08:59

Does your son care and even want to? You seem to care a fair bit, does he?
I would be a bit more understanding if children were all young and would agree it would have been nice to invite him. But he’s over 18 so find it a little weird your annoyed enough to AIBU about it.

ZippyBungleandGeorge Sun 21-Apr-19 12:08:14

@ladymorgan Sonja?

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