Advanced search

To hate the its nice weather so you must be outside brigade

(158 Posts)
Arrowfanatic Sun 21-Apr-19 10:03:33

I'll start with a bit of back story. As kids if the sun poked out even a little bit mum was in the garden & we had to be as well. We were not allowed back indoors except to use the bathroom all day and i have memories of feeling unwell from the heat and like i couldnt escape.

Now as an adult i enjoy nice weather but equally i dont feel the need to have to be out in it. My kids enjoy being inside as well, but they can come and go as they please too so they might take themselves off to the park or draw in the garden.

However it's amazing how many times I've been told "you should be outside with the kids, the weather is lovely" to the point that i feel guilty that we're not outside.

Add to this i get horrific, debilitating hayfever so outside can be painful....literally & my children are all very pale redheads so i worry they'll burn despite sun cream.

I actually quite liked last summer as because it was sunny for so long my mum especially let off some of the pressure of saying we should be outside as the weather was here to stay. But now we're expecting rain again in a few days shes shocked I've told me kids they can have a movie day indoors as thats what they've asked for.

Hotterthanahotthing Sun 21-Apr-19 10:08:46

I love being outside when the weather is nice but no rules for other people.When she was little I used to movey DD indoors if she looked to be overheating.
I think I like to be out because I see no daylight at work.

endofthelinefinally Sun 21-Apr-19 10:10:09

I agree with you OP.
I was out all day yesterday, but today I will open the windows, do a bit of cleaning and tidying. I have a cold, so I might even sleep for a bit.
I might sit outside later for an hour, but only if I feel like it.
I have family abroad and they can't go out because it is too hot! (40 degrees).

springandsummertime Sun 21-Apr-19 10:12:31

My parents were like this. My mum once lost it, really went absolutely bananas at me, for going inside for a couple of hours when we were on holiday in Cyprus in August!

Thepacksurvives Sun 21-Apr-19 10:12:37

Hhhmmm quite a tough one but I'm going with yabu. You don't have to spend all day outside (particularly 12-3) but fresh air is good for us all and we should make the most of the nice weather. I'm a red head and friends refer to me as a vampire I'm so pale, my kids are to but I just put plenty of factor 50 on and hats. Like you said popping in and out is fine but get outside a bit. And don't hate on people enjoying the nice weather

Arrowfanatic Sun 21-Apr-19 10:17:01

* Thepacksurvives* i think you've misunderstood the post. I'm not saying people shouldnt go outside, we do. I'm saying that those who insist people are bonkers if they decide to have a day inside when its nice weather. Saying "you should be outside" i find frustrating. Imo there is no should, just because its sunny we have to go out?? People who say this, do they think the rest of us never see fresh air? Never go out? Its the whole assumption that by not going out, or by not forcing kids who dont want to be outside to do so is insane.

sackrifice Sun 21-Apr-19 10:17:07

Vitamin D for one. We don't get enough in this country.

I prefer late afternoon in this weather so I can utilise the shade to do my gardening and pottering.

GertrudeCB Sun 21-Apr-19 10:17:07

Well I've already been out for a couple of hours with the dog, looking forward to pottering about in the house, I may sit out in the garden reading for an hour late afternoon ish.
But I have friends who are horrified that I haven't been out all day every day in the nice weather.

Prequelle Sun 21-Apr-19 10:20:17


People can do what they want when they want. I'm super pale with black hair green eyes and I get sun stroke very easily so I limit my time. I don't get why people are so bothered about what others do, so much so they must comment and preach about health benefits

Shazafied Sun 21-Apr-19 10:20:23

We went out yesterday (heavily pregnancy red haired me, fair skinned 16mo dd and husband). It was lovely for a bit but it became too much in the afternoon. I was sweltering, DD1 wouldn’t keep her hat on and was too hot ... we wandered into a museum which was beautifully cool , shaded and empty and all seemed well again ! X

Arrowfanatic Sun 21-Apr-19 10:21:24

We went out on friday for example, kids rode their bikes, we went for a walk and stayed out for a few hours.

Yesterday i hung washing out and my eldest sat outside drawing but my 2 youngest wanted to stay inside for a bit. They went out briefly for a dinner picnic.

Today they want to stay in, my hayfever is swelling my face, but I'm being told we should be outside because its sunny. Its like forced "fun" isnt it?

Vitamin D, you think people who dont get outside the second the sun peeks out never see the sun?

TapasForTwo Sun 21-Apr-19 10:22:05

I can't bear to be inside in this weather.

cocomelon23 Sun 21-Apr-19 10:25:24

I can't stand to be indoors at all during this kind of weather. We don't get enough of it so I love to make the most of every second.

Roussette Sun 21-Apr-19 10:27:35

No one is forcing you to be outside, you can be inside if you want to!

However, it's such a beautiful day, to me it's weird to be watching a movie indoors on a day like this. But it's your choice.

I find it just as irritating for all the Love Winter people banging on about snuggling up cosy on the sofa like we all love winter! I hate it.

RottnestFerry Sun 21-Apr-19 10:30:11

I can't bear to be inside in this weather

Me too.

When I was a child, I spent as much time outside in all weathers as I could, year round. Apparently, I was as brown as a berry. No sun cream in those days.

Lungelady Sun 21-Apr-19 10:30:34

I have a skin sensitivity to the sun so never "sit out" in it. I have just been for a 5 mile walk so will probably spend the rest of the day indoors.
Fine by me.

Chippychipsforme Sun 21-Apr-19 10:37:45

It's about making the most of the good weather though. The weather can be so rubbish in the UK that actually when it is lovely it makes sense to get out there and enjoy it!

Whisky2014 Sun 21-Apr-19 10:40:52

Well, it is a bit shit and unhealthy considering in the UK the weather is pretty crap. We're indoors all of bloody winter. Get out and do stuff, live a good life rather than be cooped up in the house watching eastenders...

Whisky2014 Sun 21-Apr-19 10:41:28

Exactly Chippychipsforme

Peridot1 Sun 21-Apr-19 10:41:30

I have bad hay fever too at the moment so am staying indoors. I did sit out yesterday evening for a bit while DH barbecued but we ate inside. Wish I could sit out but it’s just miserable.

Also we have a huge garden which I find completely overwhelming but DH loves. I feel guilty to sit in the sun while he is working on the garden. So then I get annoyed. Easier to stay inside!

Dieu Sun 21-Apr-19 10:41:41

I'm with you, OP. My parents were strict about this too, but then that's how it was in the 70s/80s.
These days I'm not very outdoorsy, and prefer to be inside. Also, my parents were very strict about food, and I'm a total fatty too! grin

Prequelle Sun 21-Apr-19 10:43:40

What do people not understand about some people not really enjoying being in hot/sunny weather. That's why people don't want to 'make the most of it' or 'enjoy it whilst it lasts'. People are different and like different things, I don't know why people are so pushy about the sun!

Whisky2014 Sun 21-Apr-19 10:45:59

It's not meaning to actually go sit on the sun. It's go out and about and see things, do things you don't usually do because it's raining. It's the fact that it's dry, makes everything more accessible. Wow people are weird

alittleprivacy Sun 21-Apr-19 10:46:35

Vitamin D for one. We don't get enough in this country.

You're not going to get much by way of Vit D slathered in sun cream. In terms of getting Vit D it's better for you to be in and out in short bursts with no need for sunscreen than out all day and covered in a Vit D blocker.

Whisky2014 Sun 21-Apr-19 10:47:28

Like people in France, Spain, Italy aren't outside because it's sunny..It's because theres no weather hindering you from having a life outside.

Prequelle Sun 21-Apr-19 10:48:25

I think it's weird to call people weird just for not enjoying being out in the sun. This is a perfect example of the attitude OP was on about. People just can't seem to accept that - shock horror - some people don't take to this weather like they do

I also think it's weird how limited people's lives must be if they seriously need sun to go out and do stuff. It doesn't rain an awful lot anymore, rain hasn't stopped us from doing anything or going anywhere. Cool bright days to exist.

Holidayshopping Sun 21-Apr-19 10:48:38

Your mum sounds very extreme-I have never met anyone refusing to let their kids back indoors on nice days!

I would tell her less about what you and the kids are doing, I think!

Pythone Sun 21-Apr-19 10:48:43

For me, "living a good life" doesn't involve being too hot or being out in blazing sunshine (not to mention that the population seems to at least double every time the sun comes out, and everywhere is not only hot but hideously crowded)!

It really annoys me that the default view is that heat and sunshine and "nice", "glorious" weather and that even the weather reports are full of opinions about it.

Why do so many people not seem to understand that not everyone wants to "make the most" of it?

Shazafied Sun 21-Apr-19 10:48:51

I burn so easily and so does my dd, I genuinely find being out in the sun very stressful. I wish I could relax and enjoy it more !

Dana28 Sun 21-Apr-19 10:49:05

I think as your 2 youngest were inside pretty much all yesterday, you shouldn't be allowing a movie day today on a gorgeous easter Sunday!

Stroller15 Sun 21-Apr-19 10:50:21

I'm with you OP, I can't stand this 'make the most of it' business. It feels like pressure to have the best day ever. Yes it's nice but I don't want to feel forced. The UK is steadily getting warmer and warmer, there are many more amazing sunshine-y days than in the past so I'm good thanks.

Pythone Sun 21-Apr-19 10:50:39

Also, the sun hinders me from being outside far more than rain or cold! It's awful in summer when there's something I'd like to go to, but know it will involve being under the blazing sun surrounded by people. Give me a cool, grey day when it's actually pleasant to walk around outside anytime!

Holidayshopping Sun 21-Apr-19 10:50:49

Today they want to stay in, my hayfever is swelling my face, but I'm being told we should be outside because its sunny.

You need to listen to your mum less and stop letting her tell you what to do!

greenpop21 Sun 21-Apr-19 10:51:22

I agree OP. I like this weather but I don't like sitting in the sun. I like to sit outside but in the shade looking at it, having the doors and windows open when I'm pottering DM was a sun worshipper and being a child of the 70s we were outside a lot but she would provide shade for us too and a paddling pool.

greenpop21 Sun 21-Apr-19 10:52:00

I also have hay fever in spring but this year....touch's really mild...ssshhhh!

Dana28 Sun 21-Apr-19 10:53:03

The UK is steadily getting warmer and warmer,

Verbena37 Sun 21-Apr-19 10:54:24

OP YANBU at all.
I like sunny, cool days but as soon as temps get above 20, I’m done in.
My body cannot and has never coped well with tolerating heat and nobody I know truly understands it.

I don’t understand the people saying ‘the U.K. gets such bad weather, when it’s sunny, you have to make the most of it’ if any other day that isn’t super hot or sunny means they’re not having fun or doing interesting stuff.

I can appreciate the sun and how pretty things look from inside!
I may pop onto the patio, have a mooch around and then head back inside but I spend most of the summer inside or I feel ill. I walk the dog in the cooler evenings and if we go out for the day, it’s to the shade of the woods or somewhere with lots of shade.

Not spending every nice day outside doesn’t mean I’m not fulfilled or happy.

thiscannotbenormal Sun 21-Apr-19 10:54:45

I am with you OP

I can think of nothing worse than sitting in the sun. I hate it.

Rockbird Sun 21-Apr-19 10:54:46

DH is like this. He loves the sun and is out in it whenever he can be. I absolutely hate it. The one advantage of this shitty Victorian shoebox that we live in is that the thick walls keep it cool inside, especially with the blinds down. So he's out in the garden and I'm hiding in the bedroom. We're going out later for lunch but I have no wish to get hot and sweaty sitting out in the garden but he'll still come in and say that I should be outside. Bollocks to that.

user1497787065 Sun 21-Apr-19 10:56:44

I did manage to stay outside and tend the garden on Friday and part of yesterday but today I'm in the house with blinds blocking the sun out as it's too warm for me. I spend a huge amount of time outside but usually in the cooler months. Just don't like the sun. Yes, everyone I know thinks I'm bonkers but it really isn't obligatory to love warm and sunny weather.

Bambamber Sun 21-Apr-19 10:57:32

YANBU I'm the same

We take the dog out twice a day for at least an hour each time. May go out on the scooter to the park for a little bit. But otherwise we just open up the doors to the garden and my daughter comes and goes as she pleases. She is also given the option of lunch indoors or outdoors.

I get nosebleeds in the heat, get very hot and sickly and often feel faint or irritable. I also burn very easily. People normally call me a vampire because I don't like spending too long in the sun.

Plenty of fresh air when you open all the windows and doors. And again going for a walk gives plenty of fresh air. You don't need to be out all day everyday to get vit d and fresh air. Plus some of us spend more time outdoors in the spring, autumn and winter. Perhaps it's more unhealthy for people to only venture outdoors in good weather grin

lostfrequencies Sun 21-Apr-19 11:00:42


shellysheridan Sun 21-Apr-19 11:03:27

I agree! My dm is obsessed with being outside. I like a bit of both, playing and sitting outside, playing and sitting inside!

Langrish Sun 21-Apr-19 11:06:34

You and the kids do need a bit of unprotected sunshine for vitamin d (15 mins is enough) and being out in fresh air moving about does improve mood by releasing feel good endorphins.
But you have my every sympathy re the hay fever. I dont have it but my son’s is horrendous: he suffered for years despite prescription meds and I was so worried this year with his GCSEs to be sat (imagine, pounding head, streaming eyes, constant sneezing, rash all over your body and trying to concentrate on physics for 2 hours in a stifling room 😱). Exacerbates his asthma too.
Spoke to the GP and he prescribed a new combination of meds. Beclametasone nasal spray twice daily, montelukast tablet at night and fexofenadine tablet in the morning. In combination with extra brown inhaler, it’s made an incredible difference, occasional sneeze and runny eye but that’s it.
GP said for lots of people over the counter stuff just doesn’t work. Try to get your hay fever sorted out and it will really change the way you feel about the outdoors. Try Neutrogena dry touch 45 spf for your kids. I burn to a crisp without it, one application keeps me pale an interesting grin even after hit, sweaty 2 hour power walk. It’s not greasy and you wouldn’t know it was there. I use frezyderm velvet touch on my face, which is fantastic.

Home77 Sun 21-Apr-19 11:10:33

YANBU. I get the guilt and people telling me I should be enjoying it, like it's a killjoy thing staying inside.

I like the rain but don't go on at people to enjoy that!

Home77 Sun 21-Apr-19 11:11:41

DH is like it and yesterday got very sunburnt, I'm not smug at all...

Tinkoschminko Sun 21-Apr-19 11:15:39

I love it, but I do get it. It’s like New Years Eve - you’re forced to make a big thing of it and and #makememories and the pressure often spoils it.

Bluelonerose Sun 21-Apr-19 11:15:59

I do like being outside but I get bored easily once the dc have gone out dh is like a vampire so stays inside so I normally end up littering around inside. I spent a few hours sunbathing yesterday but no idea what I'll do out there today.

lubeybooby Sun 21-Apr-19 11:16:01

We can only get vitamin D from the sun in the UK between May and September and only between 11 am and 2 pm - the time we are advised to either stay in or be heavily suncreamed/hats on etc. Max Vit D is created after just 20 mins. No need to be out all day.

Much better to have a very good Vit D supplement though imo and go out when you feel like it, not just to try and get vitamin D.

MarvinMarvinson Sun 21-Apr-19 11:17:18

Forcing yourself outside when you don't want to be isn't 'making the most of it'.

I find the crowds on a sunny day unbearable too. Every beach or country park near us is rammed in this weather. You can't park easily and when you do get there you're all on top of each other.

Don't get me wrong, I love this weather. Just seeing the sun and having all the windows open cheers me up. I enjoy it and make the most of it in my own way and that will never involve forcing myself outside all day or sitting squished up with hoardes of day trippers after baking in a hot car in a massive queue trying to park up.

We spent all day outside yesterday cos we wanted to. Today we've spent the morning inside and will get out for a bit this afternoon.

NanooCov Sun 21-Apr-19 11:19:16

Like everything it's a balance. My eldest has albinism so we have to be very careful with sun protection. But he does love playing in our garden. I prefer him to have free choice if at all possible. I try not to force him to do things if possible. Just makes for miserable kids and parents.

JustAnotherPoster00 Sun 21-Apr-19 11:19:57

I like the rain but don't go on at people to enjoy that!

^^This, a hundred times this

MaybeitsMaybelline Sun 21-Apr-19 11:21:21

I agree with you OP, i burn easily but that isn’t the issue, i can protect myself. I actually dont enjoy being out in the heat, i feel sick and dizzy and lethargic. I love the sunshine and bright blue skies, and i do go out when its cool in an evening or morning.

But right now? Just because it suits being outside for one person doesnt mean it suits being outside for another. It’s like when it is chucking it down and blowing a gale, i love nothing better than donning warm waterproof clothing and walking in it. I think its good for you, everyone should do it, there are plenty that would disagree.

People should accept that for some people you actually shouldn’t be outside, as in everything in life, one man’s meat and all that.

Torytop Sun 21-Apr-19 11:21:35

The compulsory ‘making the most of it’ brigade are incredibly tiresome. Sometimes when the sun is splitting the stones I want to stay indoors and watch black and white films and fester, and the ideal beach as far as I am concerned is shingly on a midwinter day and long enough for a good walk.

MollyHuaCha Sun 21-Apr-19 11:23:21

Go outside if and when you want to.

If your mum ridicules you for not being outside when it's sunny, remind her that too much sun leads to malignant melanoma.

Dermatologist friends of mine seek to get small amounts of sun on bare skin. After the 15 minutes or so of vitamin D benefit, they see to cover up or move into shade.

RaffertyFair Sun 21-Apr-19 11:27:18


I realise that this might sound smug, but I hope not. I had bifolding doors put in and they are fantastic!

I have red hair, fair skin, burn at the drop of a hat, can't cope with heat but love my garden. I garden when it's cool / shady and then when it's sunny I open the doors and get all the joys of the garden including fresh air, but can remain inside the house. With the doors completely open, the room feels completely different - like a property programme might say, it brings the outside in! The north facing front room is always cool so I have that option too. It is the best of all worlds for me.

I potter in and out so get direct exposure to sunlight but not concentrated enough to burn.

LadyRannaldini Sun 21-Apr-19 11:27:40

Our garden is impossibly hot in Summer, we're lucky that the sitting room is on the other side of the house and is beautifully cool for most of the day.

PookieDo Sun 21-Apr-19 11:30:08

I’ve been living in a flat for 10 years with no garden and a horrible very busy main road with no pedestrian access to cross to get to the park so I am much more of the mindset now I have a nice garden we all need to spend some time out there during the day (vit D etc) but I would not insist it had to be a set amount of time

I’ve been pottering cleaning decorating, out in the sun etc and I set the grass up for DC they came and went as they pleased it has been lovely but I also have large french doors from lounge to garden so even if you sit in, it’s still like being ‘out’ in a way

I cannot be bothered to go out out for a day trip it will be so busy and crammed and boiling I would rather paint my kitchen

I think there is pressure to go on day trips in hot weather but my DC prefer to go when it’s cooler weather

lotusbell Sun 21-Apr-19 11:34:50

I have found my people!

Danglingmod Sun 21-Apr-19 11:39:41

Mine too!

I bet the people moaning at you don't get outside nearly as much as you during the colder months otherwise why the issue?

It's about perfect for me today. Any hotter and I practically pass out.

There's no moral high ground in preferring hot weather over milder!

JustAnotherMillennial Sun 21-Apr-19 11:42:58

YANBU OP, don't get me wrong I do love the sun but not in very hot weather unless I am near a beach. Often in the morning I will take the kids for a bike / run etc before it heats up. We have a small garden, I will let the kids spend time (about an hour) out there before I want them indoors because I don't want to over-heat them or get sunburn.

My MIL (who is olive skinned) is constantly banging on about how I need to spend more time in the sun. Er, I am fair skin, blonde, already got sunburnt heaps growing up in NZ. So I don't want to increase my chances of melanoma even more. Never mind heat increases my risks of having a seizure...

That said I do like sitting in the inside with the sun shining through but the aircon is on.

But yes I definitely prefer winter more.

PookieDo Sun 21-Apr-19 11:43:04

I have awful melasma skin changes on my face and sun makes it so much worse so going out for a whole day even with factor 50 and a hat seems make me look even more like a panda

Margot33 Sun 21-Apr-19 11:43:08

My dark husband is very much, come outside its sunny. Me and the girls can only be in it around twenty minutes at a time as we are pale blondes. My husband is outside sunbathing right now. The children and I are sitting inside, hence lots of tutting and a vitimin D mention from the husband!

NoSauce Sun 21-Apr-19 11:43:18

Don’t worry about what other people say about the weather.
Do what suits you surely?

PrincessButtockUp Sun 21-Apr-19 11:47:43

I'm with you OP. I have a very outdoorsy family. I'm very indoorsy. That said, we were out all day Friday at an event, but we were moving around a lot and chatting to people so it was ok. I do not want to "sit in the garden" when I have a much more comfortable chair in the house, thanks. I wear glasses, but don't get on with prescription sunglasses, so end up blinded. I don't like the feel of sunscream on my skin, and don't like feeling prickly with heat, so can't win. Or at least, I could if I was left alone to live my life in ways that make me happy. Like when it snows!

YoureAllABunchOfBastards Sun 21-Apr-19 11:52:58

My mother is like this. I am out twice a day with the dog in all weathers. Kids cba - yesterday we were outside all day, this morning they haven't ventured out of their rooms, but DH and I had a lovely long walk with dog. Now sitting watching the cricket with the doors open to the garden

BlueBuilding Sun 21-Apr-19 11:53:08

I'm enjoying the nice weather, but understand what you mean.

I love freezing cold days, when is hammering it down and having the perfect excuse to sit indoors and watch films.

I always feel guilty about 'wasting' a sunny day too.

My two went outside, looked at the sunshine and were immediately struck down with Hayfever and heat rash hmm

Fundays12 Sun 21-Apr-19 11:54:35

I think it’s personal choice. We do tend to be out a lot when it’s good weather but I don’t force my kids to stay out for hours. They can come in and out of the house as they please although are not allowed to sit and play computer games as that’s something I reserve for horrible wet days. I don’t want to be outdoors all day so don’t expect my kids to be. I do find it much cheaper though when the weather is better as we have loads of fantastic parks, forest walks and nice beaches nearby so just pack a picnic and go plus no tumble dryer costs.

Purplecatshopaholic Sun 21-Apr-19 11:55:58

That is one of the many great things about being an adult. You want to go outside, go outside. You want to stay in, do that. Who cares what others think

mollyblack Sun 21-Apr-19 11:58:57

Hello my friends! I can't be bothered with hot sunny days, they make me feel depressed and lethargic. It is sooo hard to tell people this- no one gets it. I hate the expectation that you must have fun, be out, enjoy it etc. I do like outdoors and so outdoorsy things all year round. I don't feel guilty any more though- and I live in scotland so I know it wont last and the glorious grey skies will be back soon grin

Cherrysoup Sun 21-Apr-19 12:02:25

Do you live with your mum? Cos if not, why on Earth are you telling her everything you do or listening to her nonsense? Stop over sharing everything with her!

fluffyhamster Sun 21-Apr-19 12:09:17

Another YANBU here!

I'm very fair-skinned and burn easily. I hate all the slathering of sun cream that is required to spend more than about 20 mins outside.

Yesterday I braced myself for it and did a whole load of garden jobs - potting up etc .

Today there is nothing I want to do outside. DH says go out and read my book, but it's too hot and it's on kindle and the screen isn't great, and there are flies and wasps and the man next door is doing his lawn AND the neighbours' noisy kids have been on the trampoline for over an hour now...
Bah! Humbug! Give me a cloudy day....

M3lon Sun 21-Apr-19 12:11:58

yanbu. enforced fun isn't actually fun.

senbei Sun 21-Apr-19 12:14:18

Just live your life in a way you feel is best for you. As long as you're healthy and happy, who cares about other meddlesome people and their frivolous opinions.

Noobcrumble Sun 21-Apr-19 12:16:27

I’m another one for not being outside every single second it is sunny! Anyone like the OP who suffers from hay fever will understand this, plus instead of developing a beautiful tan I go blotchy and sweaty and feel dizzy - great!! My son is also pale skinned and over-heated at his nursery which really annoyed me as a staff member admitted she wanted to get a tan in the sun!! Also heard parents sheepishly admit that they have let their kids out in the sun too much but don’t they have a lovely tan confused Everyone’s different and yes, I do envy those who go on about the “glorious” weather when all I can do is nod weakly whilst holding a tissue to my nose with sweat dripping from my forehead grin

Ilove31415926535 Sun 21-Apr-19 12:17:32

I assume you're a grown up as you have your own DC. One of the best things about being a grown up is not having to do what your Mam tells you! I'm very very pale, dark hair, green eyes, and i don't tan. I like to be outside, but I know my limitations. I don't care for feeling sick, dizzy, too hot etc, so enjoy some sun, then go inside for a bit! This Mam says so wink

Asta19 Sun 21-Apr-19 12:17:45

Any time the sun comes out like this my mood dips. Last year sent me into a deep depression because it stayed hot for so long. It’s the constant brightness as well. I can’t stand it being light until 10pm. I have thick heavy curtains everywhere and shut them by 7:30! I was the same as a kid, always preferred being inside to outside. I don’t care what people think anymore. I’m plenty old enough to know my mind and do what I want to do.

EmeraldShamrock Sun 21-Apr-19 12:18:15

There is a balance. It is fine to decide as an adult to stay in doors, it is when your a parent you need to do both.
My neighbours DC are in summer and winter with the curtains closed.

BarbedBloom Sun 21-Apr-19 12:22:10

There was a really long thread on here during the summer filled with people who don't like the warm weather. I am one of them, the sun is nice but I dislike heat. I often find myself having to justify this by explaining I have rheumatoid arthritis which flares up in the heat and the medication I am on puts me at higher risk of skin cancer. Even then some cannot accept that others feel differently to them, but get grumpy when I say how much I like the dark nights. I do love gardening so will be out later but I won't sit out for hours and hours.

People should enjoy their time as they see fit providing it isn't hurting anyone. Your children are popping in and out, go out on other days and today to be in. Listen to your mother less and stop justifying yourself to her. It is fine to give advice, but banging on about something endears you to no one

Ihatehashtags Sun 21-Apr-19 12:25:15

Yanbu! I was forced outside as a child. I am very fair and used to get so burnt in the sun. My parents insisted it was good for me and eventually I’d tan up. Ummm nope! 45 and still pale as anything.

bordellosboheme Sun 21-Apr-19 12:31:17

I think I agree Op. There's always a pressure to be having fun when it's sunny but in reality, especially as a busy mother, life still has to happen. Housework and chores still need doing, work etc... Short bursts at a time outside are better IMHO.

BrazenHusky74 Sun 21-Apr-19 12:44:21

I find this weather hell and I am fed up with people who assume that we should all love it.
As a fair skinned child of the seventies I have memories of forever being covered in Calamine lotion to sooth my sunburn. My parents never used sun cream and mum's favourite phase was "You won't go brown unless you burn." I never went brown, I just peeled. I am far more careful with my own children, both are currently outside with the right protection.
In my early 30's I was diagnosed with malignant melanoma so now have the perfect excuse to hide in the shade.
Not wanting to fry should not open me up to being bashed for not enjoying the sun. I am in and out throughout the day, I am just careful and honestly prefer a walk in the drizzle.

Springwalk Sun 21-Apr-19 12:55:53

I love the warm sunshine, fresh air and eating al fresco as much as possible. I could live outside happily!
However there is no way anyone should feel guilty for staying in. Your mother has too much influence in my view op. It’s your life and you do as you see fit. If she feels so strongly about your dc being outside all day, then she should come and collect them for the day.

Crisscross82 Sun 21-Apr-19 12:59:32

No YANBU. My parents are sun worshipers and will come round and say why aren’t I sat in the garden whilst it’s nice, and god help me if I have my blinds closed ever so slightly. I don’t like the sun never have as it gives me head aches and even with sun glasses it makes my eyes hurt. I have dc so I’m always out and about with them but on days like today (26 degrees here) I’m happy to sit indoors and let my kids play in the garden. Sorry if that’s weird but that’s just me.

HellonHeels Sun 21-Apr-19 13:01:15

YANBU at all. And you no longer have to do as your mum says. I lime sunny weather but hate being hot. I burn easily too and sun cream gives me a horrendous allergic reaction. The one i can tolerate is very thick and messy, tiresome to apply and feels awful so i generally go in the sun for brief periods without the spf and then keep to the shade or go inside.

Holidayshopping Sun 21-Apr-19 13:02:13

As kids if the sun poked out even a little bit mum was in the garden & we had to be as well. We were not allowed back indoors except to use the bathroom all day and i have memories of feeling unwell from the heat and like i couldnt escape.

Am I the only one who thinks this is borderline abuse?!

FloofyDoof Sun 21-Apr-19 13:08:41

I'm not a summer person either. I quite like going out for a walk in the morning when it's cooler, or being out and about in the early evening but I'd much rather not be outside in hot sun, and avoid it wherever possible. If I do have to be out I stay in the shade as much as I can. I burn very easily and I get migraines even with sunglasses on, I have hay-fever and am allergic to wasp stings. Summer is not fun for me.

Spring and autumn I really like, no wasps, no hay-fever, and comfortable temperatures.

FloofyDoof Sun 21-Apr-19 13:12:36

My mum used to try and make me tan as a kid too, used to put oil sunscreen with low spf on us in places like the south of France in August when it was 40 degrees, I had several really bad sunburns, blistered skin and all.

DrCoconut Sun 21-Apr-19 13:48:19

I'm sure it's generational. My DS1 hates being out in the sun. He is miserable in it so I don't force the issue. He's old enough to stay at home if I take the others out. It's not a pleasure to drag him round a park or farm with a face like a slapped arse and constantly asking how long till we go home. My parents go on about it and say he should be out and I should force him to go on family outings. My ex was an outdoorsy type too and could never understand me not being. I like outdoors and nice weather, in fact I hate winter and get depressed, but I don't think everyone has to go hiking and have wall to wall picnics and beach days.

ssd Sun 21-Apr-19 14:17:34

Agree with you op

I hate the sun and it hates me though so I'm biased

ssd Sun 21-Apr-19 14:19:52

And I agree with holidayshopping as above, that sounds utter hell u to me and should be viewed as abuse

Pinkblanket Sun 21-Apr-19 14:23:26

Pah, I was home alone for a brief interlude on Friday. I shut the curtains and watched my favourite TV program in peace. If other people are that bothered they can go outside. Me, I'll do what I want.

Purpleartichoke Sun 21-Apr-19 14:28:22

My dd ended up having the worst asthma attack of her life because her PE teacher thought it would be fun to have class outside. I know I am irrational in my anger towards him and all people who push for outdoor activities right now, but it was terrifying, so I am going to sit here holding in my irrational anger and not yelling at her teacher.

We are headed to A family lunch soon that will inevitably be outside. We will all come home miserable with hay fever and I’ll be lucky if I avoid spending the night covered in hives.

labazsisgoingmad Sun 21-Apr-19 14:28:22

not an outdoorsy person hate the bugs the noise from neighbours being hot and bothered so im inside quite happy

Amongstthetallgrass Sun 21-Apr-19 14:30:53

My dd2 is sat inside with all the windows closed as she is scared to death of bees. We live rurally so there are plenty!

I’m hiding from every one at the bottom of the garden enjoying the weather grin

MrsMaow Sun 21-Apr-19 14:34:14

YANBU at all.

There’s a bit of park right near my office and during the summer my boss likes us to have meetings outside to ‘make the most of it’. Lovely, I’ll make the most of having hideous hay fever and my skin getting covered in blisters thanks to my sun allergy then, thanks for that.

youarenotkiddingme Sun 21-Apr-19 14:34:35

Another hay fever suffered here.

I'm worse before 8am and after 6pm,

I don't go outside all day either because I'm 'moley'.

Have walked past 2 days for a few hours so have been out in it.

Off to bbq in an hour so will have a few more hours in it.

I build up slowly. In summer we spend a week in Spain and even then I like to sit in shade and read at times. I like being in sun if walking or swimming. But not reading or eating.

I lived for 6 years in the Canary Islands - sun just doesn't spark my interest as much anymore!

redexpat Sun 21-Apr-19 14:37:13

Ive had a lovely time outside today but now Ive had enough and would like to enjoy the cool of my house.

Arrowfanatic Sun 21-Apr-19 14:44:26

I do enjoy a sunny day, however I'll avoid anywhere like zoo's, country parks, etc as the crowds are too much for me.

We've been out on bike rides, picnics etc. But just because its sunny do we have to spend EVERY day outside.

My girls have gone off on their bikes for a bit now, my son took his toys into the garden. I dont stop them going out, but equally i dont force them to stay out. I've got a couple of windows open, except my bedroom as i have to be careful about pollen when i sleep.

Its the pressure of "PEOPLE OF THE UK , THE SUN IS OUT. YOU MUST ALL HENCEFORTH LEAVE YOUR HOUSES UNTIL THE CLOUDS RETURN LEST YOU MISS IT!" I like chilling on the sofa reading or watching tv. I'm currently plowing through the huge pile of kids laundry as i can dry it outside for free grin

Sun worshippers make it sound like those of us who arent are weird, recluse hermits. They'll be other sunny days, dammit if i dont want to go out that doesnt make me weird and i dont need to be told "you should be outside".

For the record my favourite weather is insanely heavy rain, i love the sound of it, the smell of it, how it feels stood in it, how nice everything looks with water splashing of it. smile

MissClareRemembers Sun 21-Apr-19 14:49:17

When I was growing up, my dad used to stride around saying “the sky is blue! The sun is shining!“ in an attempt to get us outside. I used to wake up on sunny days and feel guilty that I wasn’t already up and out.

So, now I’m a parent I feel constantly guilty that the DCs aren’t outside enough. It’s exhausting.

This is one of the reasons why I love autumn and winter. It’s so much more acceptable to stay inside!

Join the discussion

Registering is free, quick, and means you can join in the discussion, watch threads, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Get started »