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to feel awful I've never taken my dd on holiday

(103 Posts)
kevso Sun 21-Apr-19 01:07:48

DD is 16. After reading the thread where people were saying how they go on holiday at least once a year, some people going up to four times, I just feel awful that I've never taken my dd away. We've never been abroad, and the only holidays we have been on have been UK camping holidays when she was 5/6 - and she doesn't remember them.

She's never even had the chance to go abroad with school. Some of my fondest memories of my childhood are our family holidays - cheap resorts with lots of ice cream and smiling in the sun! I feel almost as if by not giving her these memories I've failed her sad AIBU to feel this way? Should I have taken her abroad? All my friends go abroad at least every two years, with their DC.

Usuallyinthemiddle Sun 21-Apr-19 20:47:25

Another YHA vote.

PookieDo Sun 21-Apr-19 20:29:32

Don’t feel bad. I’ve never taken my DC abroad ever they are 16 and 14.
I’ve been on a plane with them once it was to a short break in Ireland
I really struggle to manage to prioritise a holiday especially when DC actually tell me they would rather have other things - they like going to concerts and new clothes!

To be honest taking them to concerts seems to be much more memorable for them and we just do day trips like the beach or maybe go to a caravan (less now they are older they don’t want to go)
But my DC have been abroad with their DF and also if I am honest it was just a holiday resort and they don’t really remember much about it in the sense of it being magical - it wasn’t

badlydrawnperson Sun 21-Apr-19 20:29:03

To listen to some people holidays are a legal requirement. They really aren’t. Family holidays when I was a kid were shite and I was glad when they stopped.

EverybodySayHumph Sun 21-Apr-19 20:25:50

I feel bad as my parents and siblings go away every year. Sometimes multiple times and I always feel sad seeing them all in the pool and at the beach.

Wowzel Sun 21-Apr-19 20:25:09

You can get the eurostar for 35 quid each way if you book in advance to Paris, Amsterdam etc

EverybodySayHumph Sun 21-Apr-19 20:24:46

My eldest is almost 15 and never been abroad.

Our last holiday was maybe 4 years ago. A caravan in Blackpool.

I just can't afford it. Especially with the price hikes in the school holidays and the tightening of the 'no holiday in term time' rules.

Maybe I'll win the lottery one day and we can go sad

tierraJ Sun 21-Apr-19 20:23:33

I never went on holiday with my parents in the uk or abroad as they couldn't afford it but I never felt I missed out, actually it's made me really appreciate the holidays I've had as an adult.

AmIRightOrAMeringue Sun 21-Apr-19 20:21:56

Hi OP

I went on some great holidays when I was a kid. But the vast majority of my best childhood memories are every day stuff, sledging in the winter, going to the beach, playing out with friends, going to the park, bbq with family friends etc.

Also I'm almost 40 and still go away with my parents, there is still plenty time to go away together

converseandjeans Sun 21-Apr-19 20:16:34

Agree with others though - it's a luxury in life not a necessity. Does her Dad take her away!

converseandjeans Sun 21-Apr-19 20:14:46

Do you have a car? Travelodge do cheap deals and YHA are good value. I just used Megabus and it was really cheap. What about after GCSE? Midweek might be cheap. Depends where you are in UK.

missmouse101 Sun 21-Apr-19 20:05:12

We hardly ever go as we cannot afford it. Holidays are luxuries and your daughter will be absolutely fine. All the time in the world for her to travel when she is an adult.

MintChocChipp Sun 21-Apr-19 19:57:06

I’ve never been on holiday in my life and I’ve been fine wink. I am going on my first ever one this year at nearly 30!

AnnieMay100 Sun 21-Apr-19 18:45:14

Lots of children never get a holiday, it’s not a right it’s a treat. I didn’t have one at all during my childhood in fact my first holiday was at 24. As she’s older now can you save up a little every week/month and surprise her with a lovely mother daughter trip somewhere one day? It doesn’t have to be expensive or far. Memories are the important part and she’ll remember the effort you put in.

girlwithadragontattoo Sun 21-Apr-19 18:36:31

Hi OP. I was 20 when i first went abroad, my mum could only afford a week in Weymouth when i was a kid and i have the best memories

Newmumma83 Sun 21-Apr-19 18:30:28

Sometimes for a holiday my friend will book one night in a nice hotel with pool
And they order room service ( in uk)

Or gcse year is consign she will break up
Sooner so a holiday may be more affordable?

Or just organise a spa day / mum daughter outing to or Zoo / theme park ... keep
An eye on wowcher deals ... your still
Making memories x

Phineyj Sun 21-Apr-19 18:30:28

I recently rejoined the YHA (I used to go hostelling in the UK with friends when I was your DD's age). They now have ensuite rooms and it's still really cheap but the facilities are much better. You can self cater and there are other families around. I recommend it!

LEDadjacent Sun 21-Apr-19 18:26:10

Spain is really cheap. We had a bargain Airbnb in Seville and flights were cheap too. Even eating out wasn’t very much.

31nabedt0night Sun 21-Apr-19 17:19:11

I've been on the overnight ferry to Amsterdam, free bus to the city, 5 hours there then back. It was approx £80 each. You can stay in hostel/ hotel in the city & get ferry back another day
I've also booked 8 months in advance, very cheap easyJet or Ryanair flights to European cities & own hotel
The cheapest transport is Megabus, my best bargain was London to Glasgow on overnight return bus for £6.50 & I stayed with friends for the weekend !

iolaus Sun 21-Apr-19 11:29:02

First time I took mine abroad was when the eldest was 15 I think, the big outlay TBH was the actual passports.

Now we've got them we do tend to do cheap short breaks away - we've not done the big beach holidays but in the past year we've done city breaks to Amsterdam (if you live near Hull P&O do minicruises to Amsterdam and Bruges for about £50 each - sail overnight then full day in the city then back overnight - can take food/drink on board -but not alcohol, then is free entertainment on the ship - but drinks, food aboard aren't the cheapest - but it's up to you if you buy it) and flown to Krakow for 4 nights during half term - flights and accomodation were less than £100 each and food etc was cheap there - if you research you can do a lot of free things in most cities, for example one museum was free on Tuesdays, another on Mondays - plus the walking tours where they ask for donations at the end, it's up to you how much you give, but some are really good

CuppaSarah Sun 21-Apr-19 10:33:09

Could you ask family instead of birthday and Christmas gifts, for a little bit of money towards a holiday? Obviously depends on family dynamics and if you do gifts.

artemisdubois Sun 21-Apr-19 10:25:30

My parents took us on lovely holidays at least once per year, usually twice. They must all have been very costly as we're quite a big family. It's sad to say this, but almost none of my favourite memories from childhood were from these holidays. There were a couple of standout trips, but honestly my parents should probably have saved their money and taken us away only once every couple of years, as I don't even think they were in any way relaxing for them, and we definitely didn't appreciate them as we should have.

All this is to say that you haven't failed your daughter at all, though I'm sure she'd absolutely love it if you could manage to take her away now - she's actually at a great age to be appreciative of the adventure!

HoldMyGirl Sun 21-Apr-19 10:19:15

We've booked flights for £19.99 and prices like that with Ryanair, quite a few times over the years.

You'd be very surprised.

And you could stay in a hostel or budget accommodation.

and don't feel awful. Most of our generation (I'm mid 30s) weren't brought on holidays, certainly not foreign holidays.
And a foreign holiday every year was unheard of then.

Aragog Sun 21-Apr-19 10:14:09

Look at Youth Hostels too - they've got some lovely properties and really good prices.

Aragog Sun 21-Apr-19 10:13:00

Although I enjoy many holidays now, I never went abroad in holiday until I was in my early 20s.

We did go away most years in the UK - camping or holiday let's - for a week. We went in factory shut down which was always term time then, so likely a little cheaper.

If possibly could you save a small amount each week? Maybe in a special holiday fund pot you can both see. And then Go away in a year or two? Could be uk or abroad.

There are some good deals to be had. We've just priced up flights to Palma, Majorca for 5 nights at the end of August and yesterday they were coming up at £62pp. There are some relatively cheap apartments in HomeAway in the area too.

CarolDanvers Sun 21-Apr-19 10:11:56

OP sorry I went to bed last night after making a maths spectacle of myself grin

We stayed outside Malaga in a smaller town about twenty minutes train ride away but it was February half term and very reasonable. Can PM you if you want to know more. We went into Malaga a few times though and my teens loved it and asked if we could stay there next time we go to Spain. So next time we go we will do a city break there but it won’t be for a year or two. It’s a beautiful old city but right on the coast too so loads of beaches plus shops, cafes, restaurants, historical stuff - Picasso’s family house is there. You could walk around Malaga all day and never get bored. Do think about February half term - super cheap and not bad weather, though probs not swimming weather 🥶

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