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to feel awful I've never taken my dd on holiday

(103 Posts)
kevso Sun 21-Apr-19 01:07:48

DD is 16. After reading the thread where people were saying how they go on holiday at least once a year, some people going up to four times, I just feel awful that I've never taken my dd away. We've never been abroad, and the only holidays we have been on have been UK camping holidays when she was 5/6 - and she doesn't remember them.

She's never even had the chance to go abroad with school. Some of my fondest memories of my childhood are our family holidays - cheap resorts with lots of ice cream and smiling in the sun! I feel almost as if by not giving her these memories I've failed her sad AIBU to feel this way? Should I have taken her abroad? All my friends go abroad at least every two years, with their DC.

midsummabreak Sun 21-Apr-19 02:51:30

Can you plan birthday surprise at a Teen friendly holiday park for a few days or weekend of fun? Plan a picnic at night , a few days sightseeing?

midsummabreak Sun 21-Apr-19 02:55:02

What are her interests, you could plan a special day out based on something she might like to visit or spend time doing?

Bookworm4 Sun 21-Apr-19 02:57:26

Booking.com and onthebeach are great sites for a bargain. I got a week in Tenerife in Feb for £398 for myself and teenager, we had a lovely week together and didn't spend loads.

midsummabreak Sun 21-Apr-19 02:59:12

Its ok if you can't take her on holiday just yet, you can spoil her many different ways for her birthday, not just trips away And you can start applying for a passport & saving for a holiday abroad for when she is 17, or 21 even, she will love that!

Cheeseand0n10nr0ll Sun 21-Apr-19 03:13:22

I know some elderly people and younger than myself who have never been abroad. But they have enjoyed days out or a weeks holiday in the UK

Smelborp Sun 21-Apr-19 03:24:38

Could you go camping by a seaside? Camping is £20 a night max and you could maybe borrow a tent. Then you just have the travel (could be tricky if you don’t have a car though).

We got a premier inn in a seaside town out of season for £35 a night. Was great for a weekend with beach walks.

MrsTeaspoon Sun 21-Apr-19 03:55:37

I’ve never taken my kids on holiday. We have always lived near enough to beaches to enjoy days out there. My eldest took herself off backpacking around Europe at sixteen and goes abroad very regularly - she tends to buy suits for work in New York and Spain! My third is planning on moving to Japan for work. They are confident in the great wife world. None of them have ever said they felt deprived. I could never afford it, I don’t do credit and need what little I do save for emergencies.
I second @MrsTerry start a little fund now and go travelling together as adults - I have an agreement with my fourteen year old that we will visit Greece together as she’s always wanted to go, we are both saving any change that is 50p or under. Doesn’t matter how long it takes lol.

Mememeplease Sun 21-Apr-19 04:03:46

Cheap Sun newspaper holidays? Collect the vouchers and book a few days in a caravan. Bargain.

Mememeplease Sun 21-Apr-19 04:08:30

I'm not sure there is such thing as cheap city breaks. It all adds up even if you try to avoid the fee paying rip off attractions. Food and drink end up costing loads.

DoNotBlameMeIVotedRemain Sun 21-Apr-19 04:28:32

London could be excellent. Lots of gorgeous parks and free activities and museums. If you book in advance train tickets are good value or coaches are even better value. Traveling by tube off peak is also good fun and not expensive. I think a holiday is really important for a change of scene and experiences. smile

Mummylovesbags Sun 21-Apr-19 04:37:02

Oh op !!! It is a priveledged and indulged society we live in. I find that MN attracts a certain type of parent too, in general.

You sound sensible with money and responsible. I think these lessons are invaluable for a child. You’ve also given her certainty and stability and security. Those things are far more important than holidays. Growing up in an environment where there is love is all they need. That may sound trite but it’s not. A mother with her head screwed on, looking after the basics in an expensive society, what a role model you are !

You’ve many more years to holiday. Trust me she will appreciate a weekend getaway when she has children running her ragged, more than she would have as a child. You can always find a special occasion to start saving for. Much more enjoyable to drink wine in a piazza with an adult daughter and have great conversations and bonding. There are so many opportunities ahead of you, stress less xxx

Margot33 Sun 21-Apr-19 04:43:11

Don't worry. Growing up we were quite poor so only a day trip twice a year. My first time abroad was at age eighteen with a friend, when I had a job to pay for it.

StinkyWizleteets Sun 21-Apr-19 05:17:16

These threads never fail to make me feel sad. The assumption everyone can afford a “cheap” Uk holiday or weekend break or save £10 a week aches of privilege. OP I understand. My mum would tie herself in knots trying to afford holidays to keep up with the neighbours /her pals. We never went without but her overdraft was her best friend. To be honest I just loved it when she had a week off work and spent it in the house being there with us. My daughters friends seem to go away every school holiday and we spend it in the house because we don’t have the money for endless day trips or cheap (ha!) UK holidays. I know the idea of a holiday with your daughter is lovely but if it’s out of reach there are equally as lovely things you can do instead.

Wincarnis Sun 21-Apr-19 06:05:41

Don’t worry about it too much. Growing up, we couldnt afford holidays so we got “days out” - my first trip abroad was aged 19 (a student coach trip).

DameDoom Sun 21-Apr-19 06:22:29

I feel almost as if by not giving her these memories I've failed her You definitely have not from what I have read.

FraggleRocking Sun 21-Apr-19 06:29:25

If you have a tesco clubcard account, you can convert the vouchers to rewards for travel. We’ve used them for hotels.com before for a night away and this can reduce your costs, if you’re struggling to save.

PregnantSea Sun 21-Apr-19 06:35:46

Children don't need to have been taken abroad to have had a good childhood. I was never taken abroad. I certainly wished that I had been taken abroad, but I also wished that my mum was rich and could buy me a car and designer clothes, and that we lived in a mansion. Doesn't mean that I needed those things from her.

Oneweekleft Sun 21-Apr-19 06:36:30

People who are worried about emergencies, you can first save for a year or 2 building up an emergency fund. Could be between 500 and 1000, whatever you can afford. Once you have this saved you don't touch that and then you can start saving for other things such as holidays so it won't effect what you have for a emergency.

LittleElle Sun 21-Apr-19 06:42:28

I hardly think asking someone if they can afford to put £10 a week away ‘aches of privilege’ Stinky. It was merely a question posed by someone.

And before you @ me, I’ve been homeless as a child and am certainly not privileged.

Teddybear45 Sun 21-Apr-19 06:44:46

Do a hostelling break. It’s possible to get hostels from 10-20£ a night / free in some European countries if you offer to cook breakfast or clean up; and using the train can work out cheap as your daughter is under 18.

ineedaholidaynow Sun 21-Apr-19 06:46:42

Has she been on holiday with her dad?

TheWildRumpyPumpus Sun 21-Apr-19 06:47:37

My parents never took me abroad - they’d save for 3 or 4 years and we would then go for 4 nights to a tiny cottage in Swanage.

My kids are 8 and 11 and they’ve had one overseas trip 2 years ago, otherwise we get away for a couple of days in the UK when we can afford it, we are in Norfolk at the moment and that’s going to be it for this year I think.

As others said, memories can be made at home, in the UK on daytrips or overnights in a bnb, and going forward at any age.

Pigsinduvets Sun 21-Apr-19 06:50:34

No you have not failed her at all.
Have you considered air bnb? We’ve used this a few times both here and in France. With the 2 of you it could be a twin room or sharing a double. You can get something that is private with its own kitchen area and bathroom. Or just a bedroom in someone’s house and share their facilities. The prices vary depending on how posh and where, but you can get some rooms for £20 or £30 a night. Travelling by coach might be the cheapest way to get there. Pick somewhere not to far away. Are you north or south? Anywhere on the coast is going to be nice for just walking on the sea front and having a paddle. There are some uk cities that are nice to visit and just walk around e.g York is lovely and you can walk along the old city walls for free. Nice parks, walk through the shambles to the Minster, walk along the river.

Ihatehashtags Sun 21-Apr-19 06:54:53

That’s a bit sad. Even if you don’t have much money, surely you could afford three nights away semi locally, every 2nd year? Start now!

Springwalk Sun 21-Apr-19 06:55:29

Op. It is far far far more important to have been the caring, responsible and loving parent that you clearly have been ( look how careful you are to save for emergencies) than it is to take a child on holiday.
Your dd will have happy sun filled memories of her childhood, they don’t need to be abroad. My happiest memories were in my garden! Holidays for some families are very stressful, and not the idyllic, restful, memory making experience some holiday companies would have us believe.

Your dd is nearly an adult and can travel then if she wants to. If you can’t stretch to a city break overseas then look at this website. Very memorable holidays at a fraction of the cost. They are inexpensive and great fun! Easily my dc favourite was the Gypsey caravan night!

Google: Canopy and stars

You a reliable committed responsible mother, you have done this all by yourself. Be proud of what you have given her, rather than what is missing. There is no such thing as a ‘perfect’ childhood flowers

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