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to feel awful I've never taken my dd on holiday

(103 Posts)
kevso Sun 21-Apr-19 01:07:48

DD is 16. After reading the thread where people were saying how they go on holiday at least once a year, some people going up to four times, I just feel awful that I've never taken my dd away. We've never been abroad, and the only holidays we have been on have been UK camping holidays when she was 5/6 - and she doesn't remember them.

She's never even had the chance to go abroad with school. Some of my fondest memories of my childhood are our family holidays - cheap resorts with lots of ice cream and smiling in the sun! I feel almost as if by not giving her these memories I've failed her sad AIBU to feel this way? Should I have taken her abroad? All my friends go abroad at least every two years, with their DC.

user1473878824 Sun 21-Apr-19 01:11:04

My mum was never able to afford to take me on holiday, here or abroad. It’s fine. It’s not going to have done any lasting damage to DD! Do not stress!

Widowodiw Sun 21-Apr-19 01:11:51

You don’t need to take her abroad no. Has she had holidays in the uk after the ages of 5/6? I think if you can afford a weekend here or a week there then it’s truly worth it for the memories it makes. I’ve only ever taken my children uk but they don’t care about where they go as ling as the are having a holiday experience. We are going on Monday actually my daughters been counting down from 52 days to go.

kevso Sun 21-Apr-19 01:15:27

widowodiw No, the last holiday we went on was when she was 6. My family all live in the same town, so there's no holidays there. I look at the price of even 'cheap' holidays and can't even think about how I'd get that money, even though it always seems like we have just enough money throughout the month. Previous holidays were in a caravan my parents owned, but they sold that as they got older. I feel like I've already missed out on those 'magical' moments.

Apricot80s Sun 21-Apr-19 01:15:30

I don't think she needs to go abroad but could you manage a short uk holiday this year? I think that would be nice for you all

MrsTerryPratchett Sun 21-Apr-19 01:16:23

Is it lack of spare cash or lack of prioritising?

kevso Sun 21-Apr-19 01:16:32

Apricot I don't think I could manage one this year, in all honesty. Maybe next year, but by then she'll be 17 and that seems a bit late.

MrsTerryPratchett Sun 21-Apr-19 01:17:35

That looked passive aggressive but I x-posted with you!

Could you stick a few quid in a jar and save a bit over time and take her in a few years (when she can pay her way a bit)?

MrsTerryPratchett Sun 21-Apr-19 01:18:02

I travel with my mum and we are twice your and your DD's age!

kevso Sun 21-Apr-19 01:18:32

MrsTerryPratchett A mix of both. I'm terrified to spend any extra money I have left in case there's an emergency, which has probably massively effected it.

kevso Sun 21-Apr-19 01:20:55

MrsTerry I've had a look at cheap city breaks in Europe, which I think would be easier to do as it's just the two of us and we like similar things, but I'd love to really be able to treat her and it not just be something we make do with. I feel like I'd need to, since I've not taken her for her whole life.

Butterymuffin Sun 21-Apr-19 01:22:20

Could you do a couple of days somewhere with one night in a cheap hotel? Either the seaside or I'd say London as a city break. If she has any Inset days on Mondays, Sunday nights generally are cheaper in hotels.

Cheekyfeckery Sun 21-Apr-19 01:27:59

We never went on holiday - a few days out in the summer.

I was 22 when I went overseas.

It’s fine.

But, as an adult I realise the value of holidays (mainly taking myself out of the home situation so not always having something to do, and spending time with the DCs). As a single parent, it’s far easier to go away than you think. You just have to be a little brave.

Even a caravan in the UK somewhere - just to get away from home, the chores and the routine of it all.

CarolDanvers Sun 21-Apr-19 01:34:12

A couple of days in somewhere like Malaga? I got three easyJet flights there over Feb half term for £103.00 - hand luggage only, so for you and her that would have been £66.00. It's a stunning city, so much to see and do and the airport is very close to the city - a simple, direct train ride. Don't look at packages, do it yourself, way cheaper.

CarolDanvers Sun 21-Apr-19 01:34:54

Sorry £62.00!

CarolDanvers Sun 21-Apr-19 01:36:34

Wait wtf?! £68.00. Sorry it's late blush

kevso Sun 21-Apr-19 01:39:52

Carol How much was the hotel? I'm looking online and the flights seem really cheap, and it looks like a lovely place, exactly where I'd want to take her! I'm thinking that I could maybe try and figure it out so I could take her for her birthday, which is in April, but obviously would have to check how busy it was/prices.

Gingerkittykat Sun 21-Apr-19 01:42:35

What about one of the Sun holidays for £10pp? I know in reality it costs more because you need to pay full occupancy with just 2 of you and will need money for travel and spends but would that be possible?

TheQueef Sun 21-Apr-19 01:45:41

Passports up to date?

jesusishot Sun 21-Apr-19 01:47:42

If you can't afford it, you can't afford it. DD is old enough to understand that. And I've got more enjoyment out of cheap city breaks as an adult than most of the foreign holidays I got taken on as a child.

kevso Sun 21-Apr-19 01:48:32

TheQueef Hadn't even thought about that! Now she's 16, will she need an adult passport? I'm sure her dad would pay for hers, though.

SimplyPut Sun 21-Apr-19 01:50:01

Could you afford to save £10 a week?

If you saved between now and her 18th you would have just over £1000 to have a holiday together.
For example...

danadas Sun 21-Apr-19 01:52:22

We've never been on holiday either apart from a 3 day trip to see family in the UK. It just doesn't appeal to us. My son has been abroad twice with his school. My daughter isn't interested. That might change when they are adults but it just isn't something that we have ever done.

That doesn't mean we don't make memories. We go on lots of days out and do 'something' every day of the holidays when we are all off. It's just that we prefer to come home at the end of the day however late.

Weenurse Sun 21-Apr-19 02:00:24

I had my first major holiday with DD2 last year when she was 20.
We went to USA for 3 weeks thanks to an inheritance from an uncle.
DD1 and I are planning Morroco this year.
You still have time to make memories

MADASANOWL Sun 21-Apr-19 02:26:50

My parents never took us abroad when we were younger due to the costs involved and I would never want them to regret putting our home life first as opposed to stretching themselves to pay for something they couldn’t really afford as a treat. If anything it gave me something to look forward to when I started working thereby teaching me how to save and budget for such things. Now I’m nearing 30 and I’ve taken my parents on holiday abroad as well as my own family, and I’m planning and saving for a large family holiday next year for them as well as my own children and husband. My memories of these holidays will be treasured forever and if anything much clearer to recall than anything I could have experienced as a child (also helped by the better cameras we now have on our phones!)

midsummabreak Sun 21-Apr-19 02:51:30

Can you plan birthday surprise at a Teen friendly holiday park for a few days or weekend of fun? Plan a picnic at night , a few days sightseeing?

midsummabreak Sun 21-Apr-19 02:55:02

What are her interests, you could plan a special day out based on something she might like to visit or spend time doing?

Bookworm4 Sun 21-Apr-19 02:57:26 and onthebeach are great sites for a bargain. I got a week in Tenerife in Feb for £398 for myself and teenager, we had a lovely week together and didn't spend loads.

midsummabreak Sun 21-Apr-19 02:59:12

Its ok if you can't take her on holiday just yet, you can spoil her many different ways for her birthday, not just trips away And you can start applying for a passport & saving for a holiday abroad for when she is 17, or 21 even, she will love that!

Cheeseand0n10nr0ll Sun 21-Apr-19 03:13:22

I know some elderly people and younger than myself who have never been abroad. But they have enjoyed days out or a weeks holiday in the UK

Smelborp Sun 21-Apr-19 03:24:38

Could you go camping by a seaside? Camping is £20 a night max and you could maybe borrow a tent. Then you just have the travel (could be tricky if you don’t have a car though).

We got a premier inn in a seaside town out of season for £35 a night. Was great for a weekend with beach walks.

MrsTeaspoon Sun 21-Apr-19 03:55:37

I’ve never taken my kids on holiday. We have always lived near enough to beaches to enjoy days out there. My eldest took herself off backpacking around Europe at sixteen and goes abroad very regularly - she tends to buy suits for work in New York and Spain! My third is planning on moving to Japan for work. They are confident in the great wife world. None of them have ever said they felt deprived. I could never afford it, I don’t do credit and need what little I do save for emergencies.
I second @MrsTerry start a little fund now and go travelling together as adults - I have an agreement with my fourteen year old that we will visit Greece together as she’s always wanted to go, we are both saving any change that is 50p or under. Doesn’t matter how long it takes lol.

Mememeplease Sun 21-Apr-19 04:03:46

Cheap Sun newspaper holidays? Collect the vouchers and book a few days in a caravan. Bargain.

Mememeplease Sun 21-Apr-19 04:08:30

I'm not sure there is such thing as cheap city breaks. It all adds up even if you try to avoid the fee paying rip off attractions. Food and drink end up costing loads.

DoNotBlameMeIVotedRemain Sun 21-Apr-19 04:28:32

London could be excellent. Lots of gorgeous parks and free activities and museums. If you book in advance train tickets are good value or coaches are even better value. Traveling by tube off peak is also good fun and not expensive. I think a holiday is really important for a change of scene and experiences. smile

Mummylovesbags Sun 21-Apr-19 04:37:02

Oh op !!! It is a priveledged and indulged society we live in. I find that MN attracts a certain type of parent too, in general.

You sound sensible with money and responsible. I think these lessons are invaluable for a child. You’ve also given her certainty and stability and security. Those things are far more important than holidays. Growing up in an environment where there is love is all they need. That may sound trite but it’s not. A mother with her head screwed on, looking after the basics in an expensive society, what a role model you are !

You’ve many more years to holiday. Trust me she will appreciate a weekend getaway when she has children running her ragged, more than she would have as a child. You can always find a special occasion to start saving for. Much more enjoyable to drink wine in a piazza with an adult daughter and have great conversations and bonding. There are so many opportunities ahead of you, stress less xxx

Margot33 Sun 21-Apr-19 04:43:11

Don't worry. Growing up we were quite poor so only a day trip twice a year. My first time abroad was at age eighteen with a friend, when I had a job to pay for it.

StinkyWizleteets Sun 21-Apr-19 05:17:16

These threads never fail to make me feel sad. The assumption everyone can afford a “cheap” Uk holiday or weekend break or save £10 a week aches of privilege. OP I understand. My mum would tie herself in knots trying to afford holidays to keep up with the neighbours /her pals. We never went without but her overdraft was her best friend. To be honest I just loved it when she had a week off work and spent it in the house being there with us. My daughters friends seem to go away every school holiday and we spend it in the house because we don’t have the money for endless day trips or cheap (ha!) UK holidays. I know the idea of a holiday with your daughter is lovely but if it’s out of reach there are equally as lovely things you can do instead.

Wincarnis Sun 21-Apr-19 06:05:41

Don’t worry about it too much. Growing up, we couldnt afford holidays so we got “days out” - my first trip abroad was aged 19 (a student coach trip).

DameDoom Sun 21-Apr-19 06:22:29

I feel almost as if by not giving her these memories I've failed her You definitely have not from what I have read.

FraggleRocking Sun 21-Apr-19 06:29:25

If you have a tesco clubcard account, you can convert the vouchers to rewards for travel. We’ve used them for before for a night away and this can reduce your costs, if you’re struggling to save.

PregnantSea Sun 21-Apr-19 06:35:46

Children don't need to have been taken abroad to have had a good childhood. I was never taken abroad. I certainly wished that I had been taken abroad, but I also wished that my mum was rich and could buy me a car and designer clothes, and that we lived in a mansion. Doesn't mean that I needed those things from her.

Oneweekleft Sun 21-Apr-19 06:36:30

People who are worried about emergencies, you can first save for a year or 2 building up an emergency fund. Could be between 500 and 1000, whatever you can afford. Once you have this saved you don't touch that and then you can start saving for other things such as holidays so it won't effect what you have for a emergency.

LittleElle Sun 21-Apr-19 06:42:28

I hardly think asking someone if they can afford to put £10 a week away ‘aches of privilege’ Stinky. It was merely a question posed by someone.

And before you @ me, I’ve been homeless as a child and am certainly not privileged.

Teddybear45 Sun 21-Apr-19 06:44:46

Do a hostelling break. It’s possible to get hostels from 10-20£ a night / free in some European countries if you offer to cook breakfast or clean up; and using the train can work out cheap as your daughter is under 18.

ineedaholidaynow Sun 21-Apr-19 06:46:42

Has she been on holiday with her dad?

TheWildRumpyPumpus Sun 21-Apr-19 06:47:37

My parents never took me abroad - they’d save for 3 or 4 years and we would then go for 4 nights to a tiny cottage in Swanage.

My kids are 8 and 11 and they’ve had one overseas trip 2 years ago, otherwise we get away for a couple of days in the UK when we can afford it, we are in Norfolk at the moment and that’s going to be it for this year I think.

As others said, memories can be made at home, in the UK on daytrips or overnights in a bnb, and going forward at any age.

Pigsinduvets Sun 21-Apr-19 06:50:34

No you have not failed her at all.
Have you considered air bnb? We’ve used this a few times both here and in France. With the 2 of you it could be a twin room or sharing a double. You can get something that is private with its own kitchen area and bathroom. Or just a bedroom in someone’s house and share their facilities. The prices vary depending on how posh and where, but you can get some rooms for £20 or £30 a night. Travelling by coach might be the cheapest way to get there. Pick somewhere not to far away. Are you north or south? Anywhere on the coast is going to be nice for just walking on the sea front and having a paddle. There are some uk cities that are nice to visit and just walk around e.g York is lovely and you can walk along the old city walls for free. Nice parks, walk through the shambles to the Minster, walk along the river.

Ihatehashtags Sun 21-Apr-19 06:54:53

That’s a bit sad. Even if you don’t have much money, surely you could afford three nights away semi locally, every 2nd year? Start now!

Springwalk Sun 21-Apr-19 06:55:29

Op. It is far far far more important to have been the caring, responsible and loving parent that you clearly have been ( look how careful you are to save for emergencies) than it is to take a child on holiday.
Your dd will have happy sun filled memories of her childhood, they don’t need to be abroad. My happiest memories were in my garden! Holidays for some families are very stressful, and not the idyllic, restful, memory making experience some holiday companies would have us believe.

Your dd is nearly an adult and can travel then if she wants to. If you can’t stretch to a city break overseas then look at this website. Very memorable holidays at a fraction of the cost. They are inexpensive and great fun! Easily my dc favourite was the Gypsey caravan night!

Google: Canopy and stars

You a reliable committed responsible mother, you have done this all by yourself. Be proud of what you have given her, rather than what is missing. There is no such thing as a ‘perfect’ childhood flowers

UniversalAunt Sun 21-Apr-19 06:55:34

Really like the idea of a short city break for her 18th birthday.
It does not have to be on her birthday, just in the year giving you some time to save & collect vouchers.
Getting an adult passport as a rite of passage etc.

I’d have been so chuffed to go to Paris/Prague/New York or York etc with my mum for a few days. Mooch round an art gallery, go out to dinner, see the sites etc - makes for great memories & loads of fotos.

UniversalAunt Sun 21-Apr-19 06:59:41

Swanage - shhhh, don’t tell anyone else.

MingeOnFire Sun 21-Apr-19 06:59:55

My daughter didn't go on holiday in the UK until she was 9, first took her abroad at 16. She's 21 and now goes abroad regularly on her own.

Maybe save a little and take her abroad for her 18th. If you're on a low income have a look at the government help to save accounts

Rememberallball Sun 21-Apr-19 07:08:19

We never went abroad as a family, holidays were either at a friend of the family’s cottage in a seaside resort (or another friend’s chalet once we outgrew the cottage) or camping - that was what my parents could afford and I never felt we missed out.

As an adult I took my parents on holiday abroad as a Christmas present one year and we booked a few more over the years until they died. My DSiS also took DM away once after DF died.

farmergilesnomore Sun 21-Apr-19 07:15:15

OP on a practical note watch out for Ryanair/Easjet £9.99 flights, particularly in December. You could do a christmas present to Spain? We always go away over christmas now, the christmas lights in Malaga are amazing so we dont feel like we are losing out. If it is only the two of you you could do flights and self catering for £500 for a week. Buses are cheap so you could visit the resort towns very easily if that's your thing. Spain in December is lovely, you get winter sun and no crowds.

DonPablo Sun 21-Apr-19 07:20:57

I felt like this. We'd managed a week here and there in this country, but never abroad. Last year I sold everything that I could... Clothes, toys, books, you name it and managed to get together enough to do a week in southern Spain. Cheap flights and s/c accommodation. We ate a couple of meals in the apartment and didn't go on any excursions but we had a lovely time. £600 PP. Could you do something like that?

PixieBigShoes Sun 21-Apr-19 07:27:42

Zoflorabore Sun 21-Apr-19 07:39:52

Hi op, had your dd mentioned holidays at all?

My ds is also 16 and thinks money grows on trees! His dad and I split up when he was 2 and he has a successful business and takes ds on some amazing holidays. I would never be able to afford anything like that.

What I'm planning on doing is this- buying one of those big ceramic pots ( under a fiver ) that says "holiday fund" on it and saving for a big holiday for his 18th which isn't until March 2021.
That way, I'm not putting loads of pressure on myself and the pot can only be opened by being smashed.

It seems that "everyone" is going away but that doesn't reflect reality. With social media constantly influencing us it's easy to think that other people are jetting off to exotic locations all the time. That's only a small minority and for many ( us included ) it simply isn't feasible.

Good luck flowers

BarbaraofSevillle Sun 21-Apr-19 07:47:46

If money is very tight, it is what it is. You've done your best with what resources are available.

But I wouldn't start by going abroad if you don't have much money. It will cost about £200 to get passports for both of you for a start, so that money would go a long way towards a great city break in the UK - you could still fly, eg if you live in London and go to Edinburgh, to get there quicker and add to the experience.

If you've literally almost never been away, anywhere new is an experience. Cities, countryside, spa, coast. If she's 16/17, can she get a part time job to bring a bit more money into the household, to free up money for a trip. If she's paying for her own phone and clothes, there's a bit of money that could pay for a UK city break.

BarbaraofSevillle Sun 21-Apr-19 07:52:53

Oh, and what 'everyone' does on here is by no means typical of the population at large.

If you believed that, you'd think every DC has their own room with a double bed, eat blueberries by the tonne, and no-one is overweight.

Groovee Sun 21-Apr-19 07:56:40

You have taken her on holiday... you've done UK based holidays. My kids have said some of our best holidays were in the UK. We've done holidays abroad too but the UK based ones seem to give them the fab memories "remember when we got to make our own rock?" Or "that day we went to the beach"

RuffleCrow Sun 21-Apr-19 08:01:52

It's not too late to make some memories OP.

Foreign holidays not necessary - i take mine on holiday for a week in the UK each year. I have to save up all year to manage it but it's soo worth it. We're normally v lucky with the weather and half of it is just the joy of waking up somewhere new tbh. My eldest is 13 and she gets as excited as the rest of us. flowers

RoseMartha Sun 21-Apr-19 08:03:26

Could you book two or three nights in a premier inn or similar. It could be near or in a seaside town.Watch out for one with special deal and it can be fairly cheap. Or do you know anyone who can lend you a tent. You do not have to go far.

PeoplesFrontOfJudith Sun 21-Apr-19 08:03:29

OP why don’t you get her onboard with saving for a special trip for her 18th, something you can both plan together. Getting her involved with budgeting, saving and pricing up options would be a very good life lesson I feel.
You haven’t let her down btw, there are plenty of us who grew up with just a few UK holidays, and aware of our parents struggles. Still turned out fine and more importantly responsible with money!

mydogisthebest Sun 21-Apr-19 08:15:19

Holidays are lovely but are far from essential.

Growing up I think we had 3 holidays in total all in the UK. All very cheap and cheerful holidays but we loved them.

I didn't go abroad until I was 22 and that was a day trip to France! I flew for the first time when I was 30.

Me and DH try to go on holiday every year (always a cheap holiday usually to France or Belgium) but can't always afford it. We would both love to be able to have more holidays and see more of the world but we can't afford to and we accept that.

Missingstreetlife Sun 21-Apr-19 08:24:51

Eating out, accommodation and transport cost more in cities, get rough guide to place you are staying from library and look at hostels, cheap cafes and deals on bus and train. Picnics are great, just buy bread and cheese or ham, tomato and fruit. Carry drinking water, buy in shops the locals use, not tourist places. Check out cheap and free activities, galleries, museums. Please do it op if you can, you will love it.
Also it's never too late, lots of adult children happy to spend a few days away with parents.

JeanieJardine55 Sun 21-Apr-19 08:26:27

My boys are 23, 21 and 12. Ds1 went abroad with the school once. Ds2 didn’t want to and Ds3 will get a choice when his turn comes. We have never been able to go as a family. We used to hire a caravan for a week at the seaside but haven’t been able to afford that for the last 5 years. We could go without other things ie. music lessons, swimming etc to save but I don’t think it’s worth that sacrifice for I week a year.

She can go herself when she’s older.

whiteroseredrose Sun 21-Apr-19 09:23:40

Holidays aren't the be all and end all but it is nice to spend some time together away from the hassle of everyday life.

And they don't have to be abroad. (Our best ones as a family were camping around the UK, initially with a cheap tent package from Halford). A couple of nights in London in a Travelodge? Lots of museums are free and there are lots of cheap places to eat.

If you book a long way ahead and go slightly off season you can get a cheap few days City break abroad. I managed 3 nights in Rome the year before last and 4 nights in Florence last year, each time it was £500 total for flights (Inc seats!) and accommodation (apartment) for 4 people. £125 each. Italy seems to be very good value.

If you look for flights as soon as Ryanair / Easyjet schedules open you can get some real bargains (they're booking now till end of March). Sort by price on and you'd be surprised what you can get.

ReleaseTheBats Sun 21-Apr-19 09:33:37

Imo 16/17/18 is a lovely age to go on holiday with your daughter. Youth hostels in the UK are a cheap option, some are in great locations. You can get a private room or for even less, sleep in the shared (all female) rooms.

IceCreamAndCandyfloss Sun 21-Apr-19 09:33:55

I never went away as a child. As an adult I know they are a luxury but as a child I dreaded returning to school after the hols to all the chatter of exciting holidays and had nothing to contribute. It just highlighted how very different our life was.

Consequently, mine now do go away. Everything I didn't have they do. I parent very differently thankfully.

whiteroseredrose Sun 21-Apr-19 09:40:58

At the moment on Ryanair you could get return flights for the two of you Monday 10th February to Thursday Thursday 13th February (half term?) for £128 return for both of you (no seats reserved).

Le Finestre Di Luz B&B just near the Vatican looks nice and it would be £98 for both of you for 3 nights or Rome Sweet Home apartment for £148 (might want a damage deposit though).

ReleaseTheBats Sun 21-Apr-19 09:43:32

Do you shop at Tesco OP? You can use Clubcard vouchers at Youth Hostels and (x3 value). Me and DD have had some lovely city breaks courtesy of Tesco.

MariaNovella Sun 21-Apr-19 09:47:17

Holidays are not about “making memories” anymore than Christmas must be “magical”. That’s marketing speak.

A holiday is about having a change of scene in order to refresh, learn something new and spend time with loved ones.

LibbyJeffries Sun 21-Apr-19 09:52:18

I'm on holiday at the moment with my 2 DC and DH. It's shit. DC constantly fighting, arguing, being really badly behaved, whitney and silly. I've been shouting a lot. I hope they don't remember this holiday. I don't think I have the stomach for another one for many years to come. When I think of the money we've spent, I could weep.

BattenburgIsland Sun 21-Apr-19 10:01:05

We look on skyscanner to see where the cheapest flights are going to and just decide to go there!! Rent an Airbnb or even take a tent it its gonna be good weather and buy food from the supermarket to eat...
We've been some lovely places for very cheap this way...
Ignore travel agents and just use price comparison sites online... dont go all inclusive and be prepared to just slum it a bit.... you can still see the world it just takes a bit more effort!!
You can also look at those coaches Megabus.. your daughter is old enough that it wouldn't be too bad (would never consider this with young kids as the journeys are LONG) me and my husband went to Bruges once on the mega bus and we camped there for a week and it cost us 100 quid all in for the two of us including food which we just bought from a supermarket... this was a few years ago so it might cost a bit more now.... but it's certainly still very achievable!! I had a really lovely time, Bruges was like something from a fairytale!

BattenburgIsland Sun 21-Apr-19 10:03:59

We are a family of 4 now and we still get abroad.... went to Spain (off season granted) for 5 days recently, for less than 100 quid per head. It just takes a bit of planning yourself rather than going to a travel agents. Skyscanner and Airbnb all the way. And be flexible with dates and airports.

whiteroseredrose Sun 21-Apr-19 10:05:48

Ha ha. My flight and accommodation info was about Rome. Plus St Peters is free and while you'd pay €12 for the coliseum your DD would be free.

mustdrinkwaternotwine Sun 21-Apr-19 10:05:59

So that you don't get caught out, when deciding if you can afford it, do include all of the incidental costs:
- passports if going overseas
- transport to & from the airport if flying & then any food or drink in the airport (which is always extortionate)
- any taxis or other transport at your destination (totally depends on where you are staying compared to where you want to go in that place)
- things you need for the holiday ... this totally depends on destination & how long you're going for but may include sunscreen, mosquito repellent, a bikini if your DD doesn't have one
- food & drink. Whenever we go away & whatever type of holiday it is, it always amazes me how often we seem to stop to buy a drink and we're not the sort of family who goes to Starbucks or nips into the pub for a quick drink whilst on a walk or anything like that. Food can be done quite cheaply as resorts usually have a range of restaurants & in UK cities there will always be a mini supermarket somewhere where you can stock up on food for breakfast & some snacks. Drinks when out & about will mount up as you're obviously paying bar prices. Beaches, in some places for example, may be alcohol free so you can't just buy a few beers & take them down onto the beach
- any spending money when there.
There are so many festivals taking part between April & September that, with a bit of research, I'm sure you could find something you & your DD would love and which would be free or cheap to do so at least you're not having to pay for entertainment whilst still having a magical time.

CarolDanvers Sun 21-Apr-19 10:11:56

OP sorry I went to bed last night after making a maths spectacle of myself grin

We stayed outside Malaga in a smaller town about twenty minutes train ride away but it was February half term and very reasonable. Can PM you if you want to know more. We went into Malaga a few times though and my teens loved it and asked if we could stay there next time we go to Spain. So next time we go we will do a city break there but it won’t be for a year or two. It’s a beautiful old city but right on the coast too so loads of beaches plus shops, cafes, restaurants, historical stuff - Picasso’s family house is there. You could walk around Malaga all day and never get bored. Do think about February half term - super cheap and not bad weather, though probs not swimming weather 🥶

Aragog Sun 21-Apr-19 10:13:00

Although I enjoy many holidays now, I never went abroad in holiday until I was in my early 20s.

We did go away most years in the UK - camping or holiday let's - for a week. We went in factory shut down which was always term time then, so likely a little cheaper.

If possibly could you save a small amount each week? Maybe in a special holiday fund pot you can both see. And then Go away in a year or two? Could be uk or abroad.

There are some good deals to be had. We've just priced up flights to Palma, Majorca for 5 nights at the end of August and yesterday they were coming up at £62pp. There are some relatively cheap apartments in HomeAway in the area too.

Aragog Sun 21-Apr-19 10:14:09

Look at Youth Hostels too - they've got some lovely properties and really good prices.

HoldMyGirl Sun 21-Apr-19 10:19:15

We've booked flights for £19.99 and prices like that with Ryanair, quite a few times over the years.

You'd be very surprised.

And you could stay in a hostel or budget accommodation.

and don't feel awful. Most of our generation (I'm mid 30s) weren't brought on holidays, certainly not foreign holidays.
And a foreign holiday every year was unheard of then.

artemisdubois Sun 21-Apr-19 10:25:30

My parents took us on lovely holidays at least once per year, usually twice. They must all have been very costly as we're quite a big family. It's sad to say this, but almost none of my favourite memories from childhood were from these holidays. There were a couple of standout trips, but honestly my parents should probably have saved their money and taken us away only once every couple of years, as I don't even think they were in any way relaxing for them, and we definitely didn't appreciate them as we should have.

All this is to say that you haven't failed your daughter at all, though I'm sure she'd absolutely love it if you could manage to take her away now - she's actually at a great age to be appreciative of the adventure!

CuppaSarah Sun 21-Apr-19 10:33:09

Could you ask family instead of birthday and Christmas gifts, for a little bit of money towards a holiday? Obviously depends on family dynamics and if you do gifts.

iolaus Sun 21-Apr-19 11:29:02

First time I took mine abroad was when the eldest was 15 I think, the big outlay TBH was the actual passports.

Now we've got them we do tend to do cheap short breaks away - we've not done the big beach holidays but in the past year we've done city breaks to Amsterdam (if you live near Hull P&O do minicruises to Amsterdam and Bruges for about £50 each - sail overnight then full day in the city then back overnight - can take food/drink on board -but not alcohol, then is free entertainment on the ship - but drinks, food aboard aren't the cheapest - but it's up to you if you buy it) and flown to Krakow for 4 nights during half term - flights and accomodation were less than £100 each and food etc was cheap there - if you research you can do a lot of free things in most cities, for example one museum was free on Tuesdays, another on Mondays - plus the walking tours where they ask for donations at the end, it's up to you how much you give, but some are really good

31nabedt0night Sun 21-Apr-19 17:19:11

I've been on the overnight ferry to Amsterdam, free bus to the city, 5 hours there then back. It was approx £80 each. You can stay in hostel/ hotel in the city & get ferry back another day
I've also booked 8 months in advance, very cheap easyJet or Ryanair flights to European cities & own hotel
The cheapest transport is Megabus, my best bargain was London to Glasgow on overnight return bus for £6.50 & I stayed with friends for the weekend !

LEDadjacent Sun 21-Apr-19 18:26:10

Spain is really cheap. We had a bargain Airbnb in Seville and flights were cheap too. Even eating out wasn’t very much.

Phineyj Sun 21-Apr-19 18:30:28

I recently rejoined the YHA (I used to go hostelling in the UK with friends when I was your DD's age). They now have ensuite rooms and it's still really cheap but the facilities are much better. You can self cater and there are other families around. I recommend it!

Newmumma83 Sun 21-Apr-19 18:30:28

Sometimes for a holiday my friend will book one night in a nice hotel with pool
And they order room service ( in uk)

Or gcse year is consign she will break up
Sooner so a holiday may be more affordable?

Or just organise a spa day / mum daughter outing to or Zoo / theme park ... keep
An eye on wowcher deals ... your still
Making memories x

girlwithadragontattoo Sun 21-Apr-19 18:36:31

Hi OP. I was 20 when i first went abroad, my mum could only afford a week in Weymouth when i was a kid and i have the best memories

AnnieMay100 Sun 21-Apr-19 18:45:14

Lots of children never get a holiday, it’s not a right it’s a treat. I didn’t have one at all during my childhood in fact my first holiday was at 24. As she’s older now can you save up a little every week/month and surprise her with a lovely mother daughter trip somewhere one day? It doesn’t have to be expensive or far. Memories are the important part and she’ll remember the effort you put in.

MintChocChipp Sun 21-Apr-19 19:57:06

I’ve never been on holiday in my life and I’ve been fine wink. I am going on my first ever one this year at nearly 30!

missmouse101 Sun 21-Apr-19 20:05:12

We hardly ever go as we cannot afford it. Holidays are luxuries and your daughter will be absolutely fine. All the time in the world for her to travel when she is an adult.

converseandjeans Sun 21-Apr-19 20:14:46

Do you have a car? Travelodge do cheap deals and YHA are good value. I just used Megabus and it was really cheap. What about after GCSE? Midweek might be cheap. Depends where you are in UK.

converseandjeans Sun 21-Apr-19 20:16:34

Agree with others though - it's a luxury in life not a necessity. Does her Dad take her away!

AmIRightOrAMeringue Sun 21-Apr-19 20:21:56


I went on some great holidays when I was a kid. But the vast majority of my best childhood memories are every day stuff, sledging in the winter, going to the beach, playing out with friends, going to the park, bbq with family friends etc.

Also I'm almost 40 and still go away with my parents, there is still plenty time to go away together

tierraJ Sun 21-Apr-19 20:23:33

I never went on holiday with my parents in the uk or abroad as they couldn't afford it but I never felt I missed out, actually it's made me really appreciate the holidays I've had as an adult.

EverybodySayHumph Sun 21-Apr-19 20:24:46

My eldest is almost 15 and never been abroad.

Our last holiday was maybe 4 years ago. A caravan in Blackpool.

I just can't afford it. Especially with the price hikes in the school holidays and the tightening of the 'no holiday in term time' rules.

Maybe I'll win the lottery one day and we can go sad

Wowzel Sun 21-Apr-19 20:25:09

You can get the eurostar for 35 quid each way if you book in advance to Paris, Amsterdam etc

EverybodySayHumph Sun 21-Apr-19 20:25:50

I feel bad as my parents and siblings go away every year. Sometimes multiple times and I always feel sad seeing them all in the pool and at the beach.

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