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To just refuse the wedding invitation

(1000 Posts)
jessicawessica Sat 20-Apr-19 22:04:32

Nephew getting married in august. Been planning this massively expensive do for 2 years and he and fiancee talk about it a lot....dress code, venue, meal, etc.
Went to visit my mum today and my younger DB was also there. My mum gave us both out invitations as DN had dropped them off there.
We all opened them to find that me and DB were not invited to the ceremony and meal, just to the evening do.
I was fuming. My DD has been so looking forward to going to her first wedding ceremony so will be gutted when I tell her, especially as she adores DN s little girl.
My DB and I both said we won't be going at all now, especially as they've included a gift list in the invite and they all look bloody expensive.
I could understand it it was a small intimate do but it's for 150 people. And it's not as though DN has a large family....just his dad who will be 1 of the 10 Groomsmen, his brother, his mum and his gran (my mum).
AIBU to not go?

jessicawessica Tue 23-Apr-19 12:52:45

No aunts or uncles on DNs mums side. Her parents are both dead and she's an only child.

JessieMcJessie Tue 23-Apr-19 12:59:09

Actually, one thing I would say is that the horrendous choreographed dance is likely to be at the evening event. It is maybe possible that DN has it in his immature little house-deposit-squandering mind that the party bit is the main event so to him, excluding you from ceremony and sit down meal is not such a big deal. After all, they’ve been together a long time and have a child, so the actual wedding might just be a box-tick/legal thing for them. And perhaps he’s too much of a child to enjoy sit down meals- was he always one of those kids who squirmed in their seat and whined to be allowed to go and play?

beanaseireann Tue 23-Apr-19 13:00:37

You're not posh enough - who is having a laugh- ten groomsmen dressed in white !!!

rainbowstardrops Tue 23-Apr-19 13:00:46

Bloody hell, what a nasty remark from your DN!!! Yeah get over yourself - ignore the little shit!

Binting Tue 23-Apr-19 13:03:39

I would be so hurt if I were you. I adore 1 nephew in particular as I’m closer to my DS (his mum) than I am with other siblings. We don’t meet up every week but I see him fairly regularly and he always has a big hug and kiss for his auntie Binting. He can be thoughtless and thinks he knows everything, like a lot of young people, but I think (hope?) he is basically kind and loving.

Until reading this thread it hadn’t occurred to me that I might not be invited to his wedding if he got married (unless he did it very quietly in Bermuda or somewhere), and if the suggestion even came up I would think my sis would tell him and potential Btb to think again.

This is so much more than being about the wedding day. It must be such a slap in the face for you and DB2 to be shown how little you mean to your DN and DB1. I’m actually hurting for you flowers

Aeroflotgirl Tue 23-Apr-19 13:04:24

Is your DB1 invited to the whole thing too.

Holidayshopping Tue 23-Apr-19 13:07:19

Is your DB1 invited to the whole thing too.

I would presume so as he is the father of the groom, a groomsman and the one who is paying for it all.

JessieMcJessie Tue 23-Apr-19 13:07:41

AeroflotGirl. The DB1 (Groom’s father) is one of the 10 White Groomsmen of the Apocalypse.

Binting Tue 23-Apr-19 13:08:53

My DN also reads MN! So if you are reading this Little Binting take note!

Kateguide Tue 23-Apr-19 13:10:26


Very good point. DN probably does think the party is the main event - what a prat!

OP - how old is your DN and niece?

jessicawessica Tue 23-Apr-19 13:17:17

DN is 24.....25 later this year.
Am crying with laughter at the Ten White Groomsmen of the Apocalypse.

scaryteacher Tue 23-Apr-19 13:21:00

Can you set up a new thread OP before this one ends? I'd like to know how your nephew reacts when you make it plain you won't be a taxi service for him.

SometimesIGetNervous Tue 23-Apr-19 13:21:12

We’re going to need thread no.2 soon OP as this one will be full!

You know I had a feeling they’d want you to take your mum. Cheeky fuckers. Not good enough to attend but alright enough to be the transport.

Your nephew is a thoughtless twat.

Snappedandfarted2019 Tue 23-Apr-19 13:21:22

They sounds massively immature op. I would change you’re gatherings to youres or db2 from now, the fact he has the brass neck to keep talking about his wedding after the upset says it all he sounds like a groomzilla.

PanamaPattie Tue 23-Apr-19 13:30:16

DN = chavtastic knob
Mum = spot on

suzy2b Tue 23-Apr-19 13:34:19

If i was your mum i wouldn't go to have to sit no your own not knowing anyone i'd feel like an idiot

Petlover9 Tue 23-Apr-19 13:34:20

No need for £20- just decline and return the LIST, 2nd class stamp

Monestasi Tue 23-Apr-19 14:01:45

How hurtful.

OP, the cretinous little prat has shown you who he is, and more importantly what you mean to him.

I am rather stunned that neither parent has stepped in. I would be horrified if my dc treated their aunt this way.

Please do not send a gift, or act as a cabbie. And do try to get that last day of your holiday back.

CaveMum Tue 23-Apr-19 14:06:43

Sorry that your DN (and DB1) are being so thoughtless in all of this.

To cheer you up, here’s how I envisage the groomsmen’s “Look” 😜

Whattodofgs Tue 23-Apr-19 14:08:10


I couldn't agree more.

I did think I had said that more or less in my first post.

hellenbackagen Tue 23-Apr-19 14:36:04

Been reading this open mouthed but hope your mum put twatty "dn" right when he suggested you could be taxi?

Anyway you're on holiday! (Even if you aren't getting that day back - for the purposes of this I would be!!) wink

GabriellaMontez Tue 23-Apr-19 14:43:17

Only 24. He's got a lot to learn. I think it may be a while before he realises how hurtful this is for you.

It's really hurtful when you find someone doesn't reciprocate your feelings. Been there. But I agree with your Mum it's better to know where you stand. Pissing myself at the 10 groomsmen.

Easterbunnyhashoppedoff Tue 23-Apr-19 14:45:27

Time for the free nosh ups at dm's to draw to a close imo. Lunch at your house op?
Maybe have a fab day out yourselves that day and splash pics on fb.
I believe the £shop do nice ornaments. Maybe a toad for his garden?

JessieMcJessie Tue 23-Apr-19 15:05:11

You mean his Mum’s garden EasterBunny grin

AryaStarkWolf Tue 23-Apr-19 15:06:27

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