Husbands who poo to shirk duties

[tympanic]

Every single night it happens. He jumps up with the “uncontrollable urge” to 💩 just as we’re finishing dinner, leaving me to clear the table, clean up DS, wash up etc. No, he doesn’t have any digestive issues, unless you count the uncanny ability to give me the shits. Though I suspect he considers that more of a superpower than an ailment.

AIBU to be sick of men and their shit?

[Eslteacher06]

Don't wash up straight after dinner and leave it for him?

[Cherrysoup]

Exactly, just go and watch tv and ask him to clear.

[SparklesandFlowers]

Just leave it for him to do when he's done!

[Rainandclouds]

Mine is the same. Anytime anything needs to be done. He needs a poo that lasts 45 minutes. If we are just about to leave, he needs a poo, already late? Needs a poo. He has nothing wrong with him either (I have sent him to the drs to check) I am all for trying to escape from the kids but not all the time. He must spend at least 2 hours a day doing a poo!

[Theoldwoman]

I had to read the title a few times and still didn't know what you meant.

Go and do something else, and leave the mess until he resurfaces.

[MummBraTheEverLeaking]

Yep, just leave it there and let him know that's absolutely fine, it'll just be waiting for him when he gets back!

[ohdeartheregotheeggs]

Dh does this every time dinner is made. So i will often shout him to help plate up or to stick some veg in the microwave etc and he says okay just going for a wee first 🙄🙄🙄 makes me want to strangle him!

[tympanic]

I do leave it there at times, but if I don’t at least clean up DS he puts his grubby hands all over everything.

@Rainandclouds mine too. Exactly. I wonder if he’s being PA. How on earth can they spend so much time sitting on a cold, hard toilet seat and find that enjoyable...

[gamerchick]

Tell him before the meal. That he's clearing up whether he vanishes to the bog or not. Just do the bairn.

[justasking111]

Oh leave the dishes for him. I do wish men would realise that sitting on the loo for long periods causes piles. If they knew how much they hurt they would be a bit quicker.

[Forgotmycoat]

I bet all these men take their phones in the loo with them. Ask them not to and see what they say?
Failing that, turn off the Wi-Fi, and send the kids to ask daddy to hurry up ie, bang on the door. After all, I bet no mum of young kids ever gets a toilet break without her dc breaking the door down let alone 45 min pooing time.

[Jakethekid]

My partner does this but in the morning. Gets up as late as he can before work then goes straight into the toilet leaving me to get son up, changed, dressed and fed, brew made for him and then emerges funnily enough when it's all been done, just in time for him to leave for work.

[TigersRoll]

God my ex used to do this all the time!!! He was the most inconsiderate shitter in the world.

Kids getting ready for school - he needs a shit
Need help with dinner - he needs a shit
Need help clearing up - he needs a shit
Grass needs cutting - he needs a shit

Bastard. Makes me feel angry just thinking about him.

[BlackAmericanoNoSugar]

Clean up your DS, leave everything else.

I do quite often need to poo after a big meal, DH is the same. Is that not a thing? Neither of us take ages to do it though.

[nonevernotever]

Though to be fair eating is a trigger for pooing, along with exercise and fear. Just leave the clearing up for him to do after

[KylieKoKo]

Unless it's something that has to be done immediately you need to stop enabling it while doing it while he's pooing. Or preempt him by announcing your doing a poo and lock yourself in your bathroom leaving him to deal with it.

[Tobebythesea]

My DH does this 3 times a day! Just clean your child and tell him before he leaves the table that you’ll leave the table uncleared until he comes back. He’s taking the piss and he’s getting away with and knows it.

[tympanic]

@TigersRoll “Inconsiderate shitter” - nice. Mine also often shits just before bedtime before I can get my last wee in, forcing me to hold my breath while I do it. Apparently he “can’t hold on” for me to wee.

At least he doesn’t leave skidmarks, though he did leave a giant pube the other day. Thankfully it was on the toilet seat rather than on the kettle...

[bridgetreilly]

He gets to clean DS before he goes and clean the rest whenever he's done.

[Mix56]

tell him he can leave his phone behind
if he asks why, tell him

[tympanic]

@bridgetreilly But it’s an “emergency” evacuation so he can’t wait. He takes poo very seriously. I mentioned I hadn’t had a poo in a few days once and he went white and said we needed to go to the emergency department.

[echt]

How long does he spend doing this?

[Sunshineface123]

Turn your WiFi off the second he goes in the bathroom, you might find he's at least a bit quicker

[Buddytheelf85]

My DH is exactly the same - so is my best friend’s. It’s definitely a thing. Ask him to clear up and he’ll say ‘I just need to pop to the loo’. Then he’ll emerge from the loo 45 minutes later, zipping up his flies, when he knows full well everything’s been done, and ask ‘right, what needs to be done then?’