Advanced search

AIBU to attend a birthday party and give this gift?

(60 Posts)
vmedd Sat 20-Apr-19 12:46:03

This is my first time posting here and I was hoping you guys could help me.
Background is my husband and I have 2 boys. 1 in the school nursery and the eldest in reception. Since December when my husband was suddenly made redundant we have had to considerably tighten our belts on just my part time wage. He had no redundancy package due to being there only a short time. We are financially muddling through & DH now has a job on minimum wage.
Now my big worry is both my children are being invited to parties. 2-3 a weekend. I have had to decline a few that weren't close friends but then my eldest especially is catching on with the chat on the playground at school, then is asking why he missed out. AIBU to give a homemade card with a £5 note in? Or should I decline the invites? I don't want to buy plastic, cheap toys for the sake of it or risk duplicates but by giving £5 am I inviting judgement?
Thank yousmile

Mummyoflittledragon Sat 20-Apr-19 14:05:48

I’d rather a child came with no present than not come. I get that parents would probably be too embarrassed. At this age however children really won’t notice.

When dd was this age she was invited to loads of parties and I used to get things off Amazon reduced and I’d buy job lots. All the same thing for a few kids if it was cheap eg Spider-Man 60cm inflatable £2.97. You could add a little packet of sweets if you wish.

Amazon also sometimes discounts things to ridiculously low prices. In 2015 it was the deadly 60 stuff. This was £3.84 (2014 - checked my orders) now £17.99 Idk if this item will ever get slashed in price again but prices on toys do fluctuate wildly. When ds was into toys I always used to put toy purchases in my basket and monitor. Eg Occasionally baby Anabelle something or other could go down to £19.99 but only for a short period then creep back up over the next week or two to the rrp of £34.99.

Playmytune Sat 20-Apr-19 14:09:07

I wouldn’t put £5 in a card, could be thought of as couldn’t be bothered getting anything (now I guess I’m being shot down in flames).
Go to The Works if you have one nearby. As pp said you can get either 10 or 20 cards for a pound. On top of this, as well as books, they sell cheap toys and craft kits. I have just bought 3 craft kits and the most expensive was £4!! Also got a lovely wooden Alphabet jigsaw, which was only £4.99. They are great value and much better than a box of Maltesers etc.!

Purpleheadgirl Sat 20-Apr-19 14:09:24

We have always at primary level either spent £5 or given £5 note. I also keep an eye out year round for things on offer even at supermarkets and pick up things that would be £7.50 or more for £2 or £3 each and put away to choose from later. Book people are took for presents or bags for parties as can get 10 decent books for £10 which often have price of around £5 printed on each smile

NewSchoolNewName Sat 20-Apr-19 14:10:33

When we’ve invited kids to parties, it’s because we wanted the child there, not because we wanted extra presents for our DC.

£5 in a card would be absolutely fine, or a cheaper token present. One of DS1’s favourite presents at his 5th birthday party was a bag of jelly babies. He was thrilled to have them all for himself.

daphine2004 Sat 20-Apr-19 14:10:34

@ohdeartheregotheeggs I always give a book or a few books now and buy big packs from the book people or the works. It usually works out 10 for £10, so not much to spend. It just got to the point we were going to parties every weekend and spending £10 at least, not to mention the running around during the week to buy something. It’s just too much really but I’d always want to give a little gift.

BlueMerchant Sat 20-Apr-19 14:12:37

£5 in a homemade card is absolutely fine.
My two have always loved getting money to save or spend.
They would also always be happy with a bag of sweets or a colouring book/new crayons when they were small.

AlunWynsKnee Sat 20-Apr-19 14:18:49

My favourite cards are home made😊
Dc got a lovely one from a friend this year and one of my dc made me an incredible one this year.
My dc loved an actual note of money too.

ColdTattyWaitingForSummer Sat 20-Apr-19 14:22:16

Homemade cards always come across as thoughtful, as it takes more effort than going and buying one. Mine have always loved getting birthday money, as then they get to go and choose something they really want. Also when they’re little craft supplies, nice colouring pencils etc are always popular; two or three of those from the pound shop (if you have one) and a small sweetie would make a lovely present.

Talkingfrog Sat 20-Apr-19 14:54:07

Money in a card is fine.
From reception onwards my daughter has had a mixture of gifts and £5 in a card. She loves both. She likes opening a gift, but she also likes being able to pool the birthday money together and go and pick something herself.
If you did want other ideas at any time, the entertainer often has toys "half price" at £5. When dd was getting more invites I would pick up one or two to have ready. The works often does 10 books for £10. Could be worth stashing some ready. Whilst done stories are more boy / girl a lot are unisex. Dd lived stories so books went form well, and parents might like it too.

woolduvet Sat 20-Apr-19 14:57:34

You could buy some cheap tubs and make some different coloured play dough. Get a few cutters from the pound shop. Home made card is absolutely fine.

Join the discussion

Registering is free, quick, and means you can join in the discussion, watch threads, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Get started »