To not understand MN

[Wantmyflipflops]

Hello fellow 'up at stupid o'clock' MNetters...

For the last 3 nights my DH has been looking after 4 month old (who sleeps beautifully all night) whilst I'm caring for our 4 year old who has a virus.

4 year old has understandably been sleeping a lot in the day and feeling rotten at night so waking me up A LOT! She is currently watching some random overly positive American lady making cupcakes on YouTube Kids.

Anyway...to try and drown this out I've been on MN for the past 2 hours and realised I don't really understand the following: (Please help my sleep deprived brain!!!)

1.. WTF is a reverse? I know this is probably really obvious bit have had 7 hours sleep in 3 nights so don't really understand. All I know is I read usually a very entertaining post and then people tell them it's a reverse...I've totally missed something here...

2.. Why do people NC and then tell people in their post that they have NC...I understand the NC cause 'it might be outing' lol...but why tell us. Another thing I don't get!!

3.. Why do people post if they have already made their mind up and are not going to listen to anyone anyway...just read a post about a lady questioning if she should take DC to a party...it was an outstanding NO from all the responses but she got more and more defensive and probably went anyway (I gave up reading the post the find out)..

4...Where are our updates people lol....this is obviously a lighthearted thread but surely if you have taken time to write a post and let us in to your personal life it is only fair we get timely updates on how you kicked your lodger out...or was you DH really cheating and of course my favourite...did you tell your MIL to wind her neck in!! We need the updates people!!!

There are probably more things...I am aware this is not really an AIBU but I'm awake at 3.12am and just want to be entertained by others who are enduring a sleepless night due to the little people we created....oh now DD is watching someone colouring in pictures...I don't get this world lol.

[Rottencooking]

1.Reverse is writing from the perspective of the other person. Annoying.

1. People say they've nc because people are generally dubious of 'first time posters' and don't take their post seriously, often accusing them of being a troll.

1. They post in hope that people would agree, buy they already knew the answer.

1. No idea.

[FeralBeryl]

DH on nights so I can't sleep waves
A reverse is where you're typing from the other, often 'wronged' persons point of view.
Example: isn't it shit, today I pushed an old lady downstairs because I was bored, she had the cheek to get angry with ME!
The author is actually the old lady and is wanting people to incredulously disagree with her (therefore actually agreeing with her but in a 'fun' and far more inflammatory way)
People suggest they do it to gain different perspectives but it's clickbait imo.
Does that make any sense?

Erm, updates yes I agree it's horrid investing in a thread only to be left on a cliffhanger.

NC - people do it to let readers know they are a genuine poster - especially if it's a sensitive or intimate topic. If anyone did an advanced search, they would appear to be a first time poster and could be accused of trolling.

I can't remember your other points sorry

[Celledora]

Evening (doffs cap). Poorly 3year old, here.

1. ‘Are you posting this from the perspective of the other person in your AIBU situation, to show how crazy their thought process must be? Coz this is too crazy for someone to really be saying!’
   

1. People search usernames to ‘research’ the OP, so they’re saying ‘I’m a legit non-troll, despite having no posting history here’.
   

3 & 4... I second your questions!

[FeralBeryl]

Oh yep - the other one is because they're gobshites

[RageAgainstTheVendingMachine]

Hello lovely

1. A reverse is when the OP tells the story, usually something very unreasonable indeed, and others very quickly work out they are in fact the opposite person in the story seeking validation
   

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/1455775-What-is-a-reverse-AIBU

1. Some people advance search others and if it is a first post will troll hunt with sentences like 'interesting first post' so regulars will say they name changed or mention things oldies would know as a way to 'prove' their credentials
   

1. Human nature - many seek validation on here and if they don't get it will find a reason to get a thread deleted if it wasn't the echo chamber/resounding YANBU they were hoping for
   

1. Some posters do update - it's nice when they do. Others disappear like Kaiser Sose, sometimes because they weren't genuine, other times because life moves on I guess. Sometimes people will bring up a zombie thread for an update, others will pant breathlessly and placemark for updates...this encourages the creative fiction writers tbh to exaggerate threads even if they might have started off genuinely.
   

Hope you get some sleep soon x

[Wantmyflipflops]

Aha...I never thought about the NC thing...i personally have never investigated an OP to see if they are genuine...could they still.be a troll but have lots of previous posts? Also could you actually be a first time poster but just say you have NC....oooooooohhhhh

[RageAgainstTheVendingMachine]

Yes and yes. Some thread deletion messages will say if it was a PFB previously banned poster. They'll just use a new name change and go again. There are many trolls on here including fetishists. If you want a further meta rabbit hole to fall down MN reddit trolls (r/MNtrolls) do the troll-hunting so you don't have to. They themselves are being trolled by/are trolling (r/MNnontrolls). I post on neither board (apart from when they first began because a shyster was scamming women on here in a despicable way) but when I have insomnia I have a look to see how they are getting on. Many threads that are called out do end up being deleted.

[RageAgainstTheVendingMachine]

PFB? PBP! unless precious first borns are trolling early

[Someoneonlyyouknow]

I guess you could be a first time poster but say you are NC (although that could also be No Contact which confuses me) but you would probably have to have lurked to know about name changing?
I'm a bit gullible and never spot Reverses - just think posters are completely unreasonable and lack self-awareness! Do they finally own up? Often they do a few updates/drip feeds to prove their complete stupidity, or the stupidity of the person they are pretending to be.
There should be a rule about having to come back and do final update.

[Wantmyflipflops]

@RageAgainstTheVendingMachine mind literally blown...

[Wantmyflipflops]

@Someoneonlyyouknow...is it too extreme to start a Gov petition to make posters update us?...not trusting my tired brain to be reasonable here lol x

[Alicewond]

@are you actually a troll or have you named changed....or this this a reverse 😂

[Wantmyflipflops]

@Alicewond he he...made me chuckle.i may NC just to see what all the fuss is about. But u must remember to tell you all I've NC!

[Alleycat1]

Posters who don't update really get my goat. It's like reading a book only to find the last chapter missing. I actually think it is quite rude as people have invested time and effort to try to help the OP.

[Alicewond]

Do tell me so you get the attention you need! 😂. I’ll be like OMG, FFS, yep they ABU

[daisychain01]

flipflops but you haven't mention The Drip Feed. That's an absolute must if you want to be initiated as a dyed-in-the-wool MNer. Give everyone the AIBU scenario but miss out the one crucial detail that changes everything!

[JenniferJareau]

Some of those who don't update or who leave their thread do so as they didn't receive the answers they were hoping for. They wanted validation, didn't get it so they hide the thread and ignore the responses.

[Sparklingbrook]

First time (trolly) posters have absolutely claimed 'NC for this'. Which is a bit weird.

[JenniferJareau]

daisychain01

Yes but you still get those people who haven't RTFT and seen the drip feed answering the original op

[Wantmyflipflops]

Ahhh @daisychain01 the drip feed...I think I read one once where she asked if MIL was being a CF for saying she couldn't have DD....transpired that she had her 5 days a week 48 weeks a year and needed a day off to spend time with her poorly friend...up until they point we had all said CF MIL...It changed after that.

Also it is cringy caring to OP has posted a resolution and then someone comes who has not RTFT with endless amounts of advise he he

[Someoneonlyyouknow]

@JenniferJareau

They may be the most annoying of all. Also, I'm a slow typer so frequently answering a bit behind but people who post an obvious comment which is exactly the same as 500 previous comments! Particularly if it is a day after an update which means they are completely wrong. A good Reverse needs a bit of drip-feeding, to keep people hooked.
I've seen name changing gone wrong, where the OP reverts back to their previous name partway through the thread, by accident.

[Wantmyflipflops]

@JenniferJareau so so true...

The funniest thing that happened to me was on my MIL thread where I tried to respond to everyone but sometimes it just isn't possible...next I get a private message from a user asking me to respond to her like I had everyone else....I did but it wasn't sincere lol

[daisychain01]

people who post an obvious comment which is exactly the same as 500 previous comments!

Case in point was the "cancel the cheque" thread which ran and ran, with yer 500+ posters all saying Just cancel the cheque!! to a poster who had sent someone some wedding present money I think it was. Yup,OK, OK you made your point.

Or the other thread when everyone was shouting "report them to HR" even though the poster had already said countless times "we don't have an HR dept!!"

Only on MN

[StillCoughingandLaughing]

I did accidentally cause one of those once It was a thread about an unspecified £100 ‘item’ and the OP’s username was DuvetDay or similar. Somehow I got confused and thought the item WAS a duvet. For the rest of the thread every other post was ‘Why did you spend £100 on a duvet? What kind of duvet was this?!’ The poor OP was ready to scream

[Wantmyflipflops]

@StillCoughingandLaughing ha ha that's hilarious