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AIBU?

To ask how did u tell your DP you were having a MC.. I just can't

14 replies

TheCloserYouGetTheSlowerIGo · 19/04/2019 02:30

Posted earlier that I believe I was having a MC. Think around 6 weeks but looking bk it may just be 5..
We found out Monday andhave been having a bit of a run of bad luck. I was shocked but excited. Shocked because I have pcos and with last 2 had to have treatment as was on waiting list.
Dp well he could of shouted from rooftops. He's been so excited. Imagining if what it would be. Begging me to want to tell. His parents.. I've said no as last time had an early scare and had told them straight away so didnt want the pressure.

So anyway I've been bleeding all day. Very heavy. So it's a no go this time without a doubt

He said about going to bed for some 'us' time iyswim and I made out I was too tired. I couldn't tell him he'd be crushed. I obvs know I have to but how?
And don't want him to be disappointed that I kept it from him which he understandably will.

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TheCloserYouGetTheSlowerIGo · 19/04/2019 02:31

But in the other hand, I so need a hug right now. My heads a mess

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ItsAGo · 19/04/2019 02:33

Oh lovely. I’m so sorry. You don’t want to tell him as it makes it real. Wake him up and tell him you need a hug and why. You are not making him feel sad, it’s nothing you’ve done and you need that hug.
And I’ll cross everything for you that it’ll be okay but will be realistic for you.

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HerRoyalNotness · 19/04/2019 02:35

I’m so sorry lovely. First two times I think I texted him, especially second as he was away with work. Third one I thought I was having he didn’t know I was pregnant, I had to write it in a message on my phone and show him, I couldn’t say the words out loud.

💐

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TheCloserYouGetTheSlowerIGo · 19/04/2019 02:38

Thank you. I can't wake him now. You need a brass band to wake him, he's a mega heavy sleeper and the 13m old is in our too who's a light sleeper.
I am kicking myself as when we want to bed and I said I was shattered he held my tummy and said well that's because the 'bean' is thrrw now I expect. I should of said something then.

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AvengersAssemble · 19/04/2019 02:38

So your DP feelings trumps your OP?
Sorry but who is looking after you right now?
I'm more concerned about you. Thanks

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TheCloserYouGetTheSlowerIGo · 19/04/2019 02:39

Sorry about the typos. So tired.

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LucyBabs · 19/04/2019 02:39

Wake him op tell him you've been bleeding. Take his hugs. You need eachother, don't deal with this on your own. You can face what's to come tomorrow but together.
Good luck x

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TheCloserYouGetTheSlowerIGo · 19/04/2019 02:40

I get that. But to see him crushed will crush me more. I know hell be supportive, he'd planned a lovely weekend with the kids and now this is going to over shadow it.

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TheCloserYouGetTheSlowerIGo · 19/04/2019 02:45

What would cause it.? We have had a lot of stress from a situation out of our control. All week its been winding me up and I've been so stressed I've barely eaten or slept. Could it be that.. I have no experience in this, I just have no answers and so many questions

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LucyBabs · 19/04/2019 02:45

Yeah I've been there thecloser we had a lovely few days planned with our 2 year old dd when I had a still birth with our son. Its bloody shit, its traumatic and awful but you know your dp will support you through it. Don't try deal with it alone x

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TheCloserYouGetTheSlowerIGo · 19/04/2019 02:46

So sorry to hear that x I can't imagine what you must of been through x

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AestheticPerfection · 19/04/2019 02:50

I was adamant I'd lost my youngest. She measured five weeks when we went in to check what was happening. But I was literally gushing blood. They said it was a threatened miscarriage. So don't lose all hope. But I know if I was him that I would want to know what you are experiencing. X

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LucyBabs · 19/04/2019 02:51

Thanks but what about you thecloser? you're going through an awful time. You need support. I hope you have your dp's hugs in the morning :-) x

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Sobeyondthehills · 19/04/2019 02:54

What would cause it.?

Do not beat yourself or anyone else up about this. Its shit but sometimes it just happens, you could be the most perfect during that time and still might have a MC

It is still going to hurt no matter what and I have no real advice but if you can't wake him up (my DP is the same) then tomorrow first thing tell him, there is nothing either of you could of done to stop this

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