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To say mums of girls are smug

(374 Posts)
TheMidiMitch Thu 18-Apr-19 21:28:42

Just been at a party where my son along with the other boys have been repeatedly told off for fighting (quite rightly so and largely by me). Whilst the girls are busy braiding hair and pretending to make cupcakes, the boys are looking like Lord of the Flies. Not meant to be a goady post but please let me know there's light at the end of this tunnel...anyone...

Jenniferyellowcat Sat 20-Apr-19 06:33:15

This thread has taken an odd turn! The OP had had a shit day and was looking for reassurance so comments were obviously boy-positive.

FWIW I don’t think I was very likeable as a teen. I certainly wouldn’t have accepted help or confided in an adult. Yet here I am at 40, sat in my mum’s living room with a cup of tea.

Homefireburn1ng Sat 20-Apr-19 07:16:35

I’d say gangs of girls can be equally as scary.

Girls can be violent too, boys and girls more likely to carry knives these days sadly.Those that have committed knife crime are more likely to have suffered prior to it- hard home life, bullying etc. Instead of being demonised it would be more helpful to look at the causes.

reallyanotherone Sat 20-Apr-19 07:51:42

This thread has taken an odd turn! The OP had had a shit day and was looking for reassurance so comments were obviously boy-positive

The comments were not “boy- positive”, they were a load of gender stereotyping bollocks where all girls were bitchy little hormonal shits.

It does boys nor girls any favours.

Homefireburn1ng Sat 20-Apr-19 08:00:34

Where are you reading that Really?

wishywashy6 Sat 20-Apr-19 08:04:21

Oh fuck no! Boy has been a breeze since day one in comparison with his big sister!
Yes he's disgusting, filthy and loves a bit of casual violence but so straightforward in comparison to his 9-going-on-19 year old sister 😩

I love all the dirt, the boisterousness, the no-fear craziness of DS and his mates (6yo) it's mad but it's simple.
Underneath all the rough and tumble he's a cheeky, sweet, kind & funny little boy.
In contrast, DD wanted to be a nurse until she realised she might have to be nice to people then she changed her mind and now wants to be a surgeon because her patients won't be awake. She's 9 😳😩😂

Fazackerley Sat 20-Apr-19 08:08:38

I love all the dirt, the boisterousness, the no-fear craziness of DS and his mates

Dont you feel sad that you haven't passed that on to your dd as well?

I would think I had failed my dds if I hadn't encouraged them to get filthy and have at least a few years in their life with 'No fear craziness'

Even my very bookish, clothes obsessed dd2 had a few years of camping, riding, climbing trees, wearing filthy clothes and not giving a shit.

justarandomtricycle Sat 20-Apr-19 08:21:09

In other news, Google says poor supply of new satellite imagery may prevent a refresh of their Earth content. Apparently something that looks like a giant chip on somebody's shoulder is blocking the view of the planet.

wishywashy6 Sat 20-Apr-19 08:26:48

Dont you feel sad that you haven't passed that on to your dd as well?

Oh no sorry it maybe wasn't clear from my post @Fazackerley - my DD has never been a hair braiding, cupcake baking kind of girl. She's out there getting mucky and climbing trees too, although I can trust her not to kill herself doing it - DS not so much!
She's usually telling everyone else how wrong they're doing it at the same time! 😆

PineapplePower Sat 20-Apr-19 08:30:00

I would think I had failed my dds if I hadn't encouraged them to get filthy and have at least a few years in their life with 'No fear craziness'

No fear craziness is how young boys get themselves killed. It is not a quality to be valued imo

YouBumder Sat 20-Apr-19 08:45:17

In contrast, DD wanted to be a nurse until she realised she might have to be nice to people then she changed her mind and now wants to be a surgeon because her patients won't be awake. She's 9 😳😩😂

She sounds fab! grin

Cornettoninja Sat 20-Apr-19 08:54:52

@wishywashy6 that made me laugh! Your dd sounds great (if not a bit terrifying)

Langrish Sat 20-Apr-19 09:02:05

ok menuplant, have it your way. Girls can do no wrong and boys are all monsters in waiting. Good grief.
No, I didn’t like my daughter very much when she was a very unpleasant teenager, none of the family did because she gave us all hell. She’s very different as an adult and I like her very much indeed. What’s so odd about that? I read I don’t like my teen very much right now threads on here all the time. Our troublesome one happened to be a girl.
You occupy a very strange place indeed where being having been pissed off with someone’s bad behaviour during their teen years equates to advocating fgm. Ye gods. I don't know what happened to you but seriously, some boys and even men are perfectly civilised, kind people.
Have a nice day.

wishywashy6 Sat 20-Apr-19 09:28:03

@YouBumder @Cornettoninja she is great, I have a lot of admiration for how fierce she is... just not when I'm on the receiving end! 😂
But yes she can be horror movie worthy sometimes 😬

EmeraldShamrock Sat 20-Apr-19 10:08:38

My DM did not like me as a teen too, she liked me again when I past teen years.
It is perfectly possible to love your child but dislike their attitudes.
I gave both of mine to chance of different toys, mud runs in the forest, not to stereotype but DS preferred rough play, cars dinosaurs. DD loved dolls dinosaurs and keeping her shoes clean.
It has to be genetic differences as with all male female animals.

Eustasiavye Sat 20-Apr-19 10:13:07

I'm blessed to have both.
I hate all this gender stereotyping of both sexes.
There is no such thing as boys are this girls are that.
Encourage all your children to be the best they can be. Do what they want to do, be kind and a decent human being.
At one stage my dcs wore each other's clothing and shoes. No such thing in this house as blue and pink clothes.

Scabetty Sat 20-Apr-19 10:13:58

Both mine have been pretty much the same. Dd can be a princess and ds can be a lazy arse but can’t say which sex is bettet.

EmeraldShamrock Sat 20-Apr-19 10:14:20

To add if I ever had a 3rd, I'd hope for a DD. grin never going for a 3rd in RL

NorthernKnickers Sat 20-Apr-19 10:30:54

I have two girls...both poles apart in terms of personality...couldn't be more different if they'd be born on different planets! They had the same upbringing (only me, so no other parental influence to muddy or gild the water so to speak) and the same external experiences in terms of schools attended, holidays taken, cultural visits etc. Yet they are complete opposites. Nurture only goes so far...nature is a huge, huge factor in determining personality.

Eldest child is pretty compliant, rule 'abiding' and non-confrontational (to the point where it's actually annoying at times!). Youngest...oh my goodness! The door-slamming, screaming tempter, angsty teenage years are ones that will live in all of our memories to the grave 😂😱. Fortunately she's a fully paid up member of the angst-free club now and 'how we laugh' at those memories 👍🤦‍♀️

Not sure it's a girl-v-boy thing! It's a child-v-child one. We're all unique aren't we?

User10fuckingmillion Sat 20-Apr-19 11:43:04

I’m 19 and my mother is convinced that there are vast personality differences between boys and girls because, despite trying to bring me and my brother up ‘gender-neutral’ bullshit I was in frilly dresses from birth we are very different. Except we’re not. We are very similar. confused
Her main evidence was that my brother liked to collect toy cars when he was little “because boys like things that move” hmm. She chose to ignore the fact that my brother did exactly the same with his cars as I did with my ponies and dolls-ie pretend they are people and tell stories about them going on adventures. She also ignored the fact that I played with my brothers toys just as much as he did and I can distinctly remember him asking for doll for his sixth birthday.
I asked her how my brothers love of ‘things that move’ has translated to his life now he’s doing GCSEs, given his best subject is French and his worst (and least favourite) subject is Physics. She couldn’t answer that one.

MenuPlant Sat 20-Apr-19 11:59:23

If you list promiscuity as a reason you dislike your child thats pretty grim. IMO.

it also seems to be something that is applied to girls way more than boys.

And yes a big reason that girls are oppressed all over the world is to do with fear of their sexuality. OTOH its often the case they are exploited and then guess what they are blamed for that too.

I see nothing like this around male sexuality. So yes the attitude + disliking girls and favouring boys including the idea that they never do anything wrong is a similar attitude to that seen around the world, just less extreme.

Then you get Rotherham and stuff and the attitudes to teenage girls really do have toxic results.

Who has the back of teenage girls in society? Not men, it seems not women either. No wonder so many of them are fucked up.

SoyDora Sat 20-Apr-19 12:06:24

it also seems to be something that is applied to girls way more than boys

Weird isn’t it? These girls are having sex with someone, often boys. Yet it’s the girls who are described as promiscuous.

ohdeartheregotheeggs Sat 20-Apr-19 12:11:46

Can't stop laughing at @Andanotherthingg thanks for cheering up a dull morning!

reallyanotherone Sat 20-Apr-19 12:27:41

*I gave both of mine to chance of different toys, mud runs in the forest, not to stereotype but DS preferred rough play, cars dinosaurs. DD loved dolls dinosaurs and keeping her shoes clean.
It has to be genetic differences as with all male female animals*

Absolutely nothing to do with your ds observing other boys playing rough, and your dd being told she “looks pretty”?

For all those that believe boys and girls are treated the same, and behavior is genetic not learned, watch this;

www.youtube.com/watch?v=nWu44AqF0iI&app=desktop

Fazackerley Sat 20-Apr-19 13:56:16

If I had a dd who was concerned about keeping her shoes clean I would make it a priority to find a messy physical activity that she enjoyed. I just wouldn't accept that was the way she was. It's just not healthy to be young and care about having clean shoes.

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