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AIBU to ask what happened to you in your life that you never thought would?

(417 Posts)
Flyinga Thu 18-Apr-19 20:04:34

Good, bad, ugly etc.

MarieeBarone Thu 09-May-19 12:50:50

2 miscarriages.

Dottydoll Tue 30-Apr-19 15:40:07

This post is making me cry. I didn’t know I’d be so sentimental in my old age!

xJune88 Mon 29-Apr-19 13:09:35

Finding the man of my dreams at 15 and marrying him 7 years later. Been together 9 years and very happy.
Losing my dad at 23 to cancer.
Having 2 miscarriages at 23.
Now been 38 weeks pregnant with a little girl who I cannot wait to meet and love forever.

Somewhereovertheroad Mon 29-Apr-19 12:38:14

Having children who are school refusers. There is so little support for parents in this position.

MamaOfThe4GirlsTribe Mon 29-Apr-19 12:01:04

Having depression and anxiety.

Having three children with someone who made me so unhappy but I just didn’t want to be home and was drunk with each one.

Then finding someone who took on my three girls as his own, makes me so happy and having a fourth with him.

So having 4 girls at the age of nearly 30 was definitely not something I saw myself doing!

1DoesNotSimplyWalkIntoMordor Wed 24-Apr-19 17:23:44

I thought I would never get married or have children. Never thought that my husband would have an affair with a friend of mine, never for one moment did I think that I would end up divorced because of the actions of my friend. They are both lying, cheating, cowardly arseholes who didn't have the guts to get divorced before jumping in to bed with eachother.

alltoomuchrightnow Wed 24-Apr-19 00:34:30

Blueberrybell you jogged my memory

Never did I think I'd feel an earthquake where I lived (or be present for a world famous explosion ) (both same town different years)

Didn't think I'd have songs written about me (four songs, two different people, I still have the albums but don't play them)

Didn't think that when my abusive ex fiance died, that his family would just cut me out / ignore me, especially his mum who I thought cared about me

Didn't think I'd end up with an old friend I hadn't seen for many years (now my longest relationship so far)

liveto Wed 24-Apr-19 00:09:01

So interesting reading these responses.

Life has left me disillusioned at times and my faith has kept me going.

Will start with the good.
As a child, I was academically gifted. After my parents divorced when I was 13 I completely lost all interest in school and the desire to learn that drove me to achieve before. I left home young and started working very young and promoted by the age of 25 above colleagues in their forties who had masters degrees. By 30, traveling the world managing people and projects that were incredible but drowning in the belief that I’m not supposed to be there, I have no degree and feared losing it all. So I quit during a breakdown and although I’m supposed to be really good at what I “do”, I haven’t worked in that field again.

The bad, as a child I was molested. As a teenager raped by a next door neighbour. Had a terrible relationship with siblings. Physically abusive brother who if we had a fallout from children till adulthood, wanted to “destroy” me and how others saw me, so would put all my perceived dirty laundry out to family and friends. Mainly the fact I was molested and raped. As a teenager landing up comatose because I attempted to take my own life and then landed up in a mental hospital to go through intensive counseling.
I had twins who had a rare condition in the womb but was able to by divine intervention travel across the globe to be seen and “operated on” by the world expert on this condition. Incredible favor.
Sadly one of my twins was stillborn.
I then found out that a book was written about my family detailing that my father had sexually assaulted his younger brother. I was always close to my father so this news caused a breakdown. My world fell apart again.
Worked my way through this and came to know my mother was infected with HIV deliberately by her partner who knew his status.
So much more has happened but after recently battling a life threatening condition that came close to claiming my life. I’ve decided to follow my dream and have started a degree with the intention to go through until I have my PhD in this field. So far my marks are almost 100%.
My heart is so incredibly grateful because me life has been so hard at times. But I have 2 beautiful children. An amazing husband who has stood with me through it all.

Blueberrybell Tue 23-Apr-19 22:17:20

Thought of some more:

Witnessed a plane crash at an air show (Biggin Hill).

Heard a bomb go off (Canary Wharf)

Felt an earthquake (Lincolnshire)

OvertiredandConfused Tue 23-Apr-19 22:15:29

Develop multiple sclerosis - and have to reassess some life choices as a result

Be in love (no affair) with a man who isn’t my husband for longer than I’ve been married (more than 20 years)

Have a fabulous career that has allowed me to do some amazing things, meet some wonderful people and, I hope, make a difference.

showgirl Tue 23-Apr-19 21:59:22

Make a decision to terminate a pregnancy as the baby was very ill and wouldn't have survived.

YouBumder Tue 23-Apr-19 21:53:52

I never expected to have child with ASD and learning difficulties. I always thought I could never cope with an autistic child. My God it's hard, but it has made me a better person, more understanding and less judgemental of others.


DramaQueen101 Tue 23-Apr-19 21:36:05

Got told I could not have babies (medical reasons) fell pregnant and have a beautiful little girl. ❤️

Thought I'd have got married a long time ago. Thankfully I didn't marry that one, would have ended in disaster. Happily in a relationship with DP (DD's dad).

Never thought I'd rather prefer being a Mum over my job!

Aligatorpotatoes Tue 23-Apr-19 21:28:04

flowers pastithea and to all of you. I've read this thread over the past few nights and it's been fascinating to read all your stories.
I never thought my family would take my father's side when I told them he sexually abused me as a very young child, including my sister who I know deep down believes me. The only person who believed me was my darling mum who has been fantastic. The others, well I am NC as they clearly don't love me.
Never expected to get in a relationship with an alcoholic and have 2 children with him. I didn't see that he emotionally and financially abused me for 5 years until I left..something I was so incredibly scared of doing. He never expected me to leave either! Ha!
I never expected to be a great single parent. I'm a much better mummy now than when we were together. I never expected to ABSOLUTELY LOVE being single. It's fantastic.
I never expected to have child with ASD and learning difficulties. I always thought I could never cope with an autistic child. My God it's hard, but it has made me a better person, more understanding and less judgemental of others. Most importantly it's made me a better mummy all round.
Never thought I'd be living on benefits, but I'm a carer for my mum who upon hear what my dad did had a nervous breakdown. I regret every day telling her.
My life hasn't gone how I had planned in my young mind at all, but I've never been as happy as I am right now, even though I battle depression and anxiety every day-thank goodness for medication grin

Raffles1981 Tue 23-Apr-19 21:22:18

Bad - My big brother dying
Good - Having my son
Marrying an abusive man. After watching my mother being ruled by abusive men. You promise yourself you won't be the same...

lillighters85 Tue 23-Apr-19 21:18:25

I'm starting to realise I want nothing to do with my brother or his family. The fall out is going to be awful for my beloved father and sister but I can't pretend anymore. I never thought I would feel like this. On a positive, after 12 miscarriages I now have 3 beautiful children, and have to pinch myself that not so long ago it seemed utterly hopeless.

Pasithea Tue 23-Apr-19 20:46:00

Never thought I’d not have a career or children due to a horrendous illness. Got nothing to show for my life.

mineofuselessinformation Tue 23-Apr-19 20:43:18

Child with a severe disability.
Child with ADD.
Life-threatening illness in a child already mentioned.
Three prolapses needing surgery, and one untreatable.
Death of my DDad less than a month after he was diagnosed with cancer and told he had 12 - 18 months.
Supporting my DMum as the only child left in the country through her bereavement and what will ultimately be a life-ending condition.

twinkledag Tue 23-Apr-19 20:42:30

Suffering with infertility.

I always thought I'd have a big family.

ForalltheSaints Tue 23-Apr-19 20:42:06

I'm not very musical unlike most of my family, and I never thought I would ever be in a recording studio, yet I am the only one to be on a top 20 single this century.
I never expected to own my own home after being made redundant for the fourth time.
I never thought I would now be in a non-car household, which I have done for over ten years.
I never expected to find out most if not all of the things about my heritage and ancestry, some happy, some very sad.
I never expected that some people I have never met and never will have laughed at things I have written.

Bunnybigears Tue 23-Apr-19 20:35:16

I never thought I would have depression, I thought depression was what happened to other people.
I also never thought I would have to put my two under 4s in the car and drive around the bridges/cliffs in my area hoping to find my DH before he jumped.

Frangipane Tue 23-Apr-19 20:33:37

I never thought I would have a parent with dementia. It's such crap.

OTOH, the rest of my life has turned out pretty much as I expected.

kealey1977 Tue 23-Apr-19 20:31:15

I never thought I would go to university but graduated at 28 as a single parent with 2 children aged 10 & 6 then met (on a holiday) and married a farmer (4 years later) and moved to the middle of no where to be a farmers wife and sahm with 5 children. I had never been near a sheep till I met my husband and I can now help deliver a lamb and drive a tractor. This was definitely never a life I ever dreamt I would be living.

Travellinghappy Sun 21-Apr-19 22:34:38

Never thought I’d qualify as a paramedic in my 40s and actually save the odd life. I was really squeamish in my teens and early twenties.

Mehs Sun 21-Apr-19 21:40:32

Up until my teens I expected to continue to work hard at school, continue with college and uni and end up with a decent career at the end - nope!
Then depression hit and I honestly didn't expect to be here at all, definitely not to have 3 kids starting as young as I did with a guy 18 years older than me.

I didn't expect to ever be self employed earning a decent amount.

To learn another language.

To break up with the love of my life.

I didn't expect to put up with a shitty relationship.

I didn't expect to develop anorexia, then 'recover' in the opposite direction.

I just didn't expect to be happy, which overall I really am, and this thread makes me appreciate all that more.

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