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AIBU to ask what happened to you in your life that you never thought would?

(417 Posts)
Flyinga Thu 18-Apr-19 20:04:34

Good, bad, ugly etc.

Pasithea Tue 23-Apr-19 20:46:00

Never thought I’d not have a career or children due to a horrendous illness. Got nothing to show for my life.

lillighters85 Tue 23-Apr-19 21:18:25

I'm starting to realise I want nothing to do with my brother or his family. The fall out is going to be awful for my beloved father and sister but I can't pretend anymore. I never thought I would feel like this. On a positive, after 12 miscarriages I now have 3 beautiful children, and have to pinch myself that not so long ago it seemed utterly hopeless.

Raffles1981 Tue 23-Apr-19 21:22:18

Bad - My big brother dying
Good - Having my son
Marrying an abusive man. After watching my mother being ruled by abusive men. You promise yourself you won't be the same...

Aligatorpotatoes Tue 23-Apr-19 21:28:04

flowers pastithea and to all of you. I've read this thread over the past few nights and it's been fascinating to read all your stories.
I never thought my family would take my father's side when I told them he sexually abused me as a very young child, including my sister who I know deep down believes me. The only person who believed me was my darling mum who has been fantastic. The others, well I am NC as they clearly don't love me.
Never expected to get in a relationship with an alcoholic and have 2 children with him. I didn't see that he emotionally and financially abused me for 5 years until I left..something I was so incredibly scared of doing. He never expected me to leave either! Ha!
I never expected to be a great single parent. I'm a much better mummy now than when we were together. I never expected to ABSOLUTELY LOVE being single. It's fantastic.
I never expected to have child with ASD and learning difficulties. I always thought I could never cope with an autistic child. My God it's hard, but it has made me a better person, more understanding and less judgemental of others. Most importantly it's made me a better mummy all round.
Never thought I'd be living on benefits, but I'm a carer for my mum who upon hear what my dad did had a nervous breakdown. I regret every day telling her.
My life hasn't gone how I had planned in my young mind at all, but I've never been as happy as I am right now, even though I battle depression and anxiety every day-thank goodness for medication grin

DramaQueen101 Tue 23-Apr-19 21:36:05

Got told I could not have babies (medical reasons) fell pregnant and have a beautiful little girl. ❤️

Thought I'd have got married a long time ago. Thankfully I didn't marry that one, would have ended in disaster. Happily in a relationship with DP (DD's dad).

Never thought I'd rather prefer being a Mum over my job!

YouBumder Tue 23-Apr-19 21:53:52

I never expected to have child with ASD and learning difficulties. I always thought I could never cope with an autistic child. My God it's hard, but it has made me a better person, more understanding and less judgemental of others.


showgirl Tue 23-Apr-19 21:59:22

Make a decision to terminate a pregnancy as the baby was very ill and wouldn't have survived.

OvertiredandConfused Tue 23-Apr-19 22:15:29

Develop multiple sclerosis - and have to reassess some life choices as a result

Be in love (no affair) with a man who isn’t my husband for longer than I’ve been married (more than 20 years)

Have a fabulous career that has allowed me to do some amazing things, meet some wonderful people and, I hope, make a difference.

Blueberrybell Tue 23-Apr-19 22:17:20

Thought of some more:

Witnessed a plane crash at an air show (Biggin Hill).

Heard a bomb go off (Canary Wharf)

Felt an earthquake (Lincolnshire)

liveto Wed 24-Apr-19 00:09:01

So interesting reading these responses.

Life has left me disillusioned at times and my faith has kept me going.

Will start with the good.
As a child, I was academically gifted. After my parents divorced when I was 13 I completely lost all interest in school and the desire to learn that drove me to achieve before. I left home young and started working very young and promoted by the age of 25 above colleagues in their forties who had masters degrees. By 30, traveling the world managing people and projects that were incredible but drowning in the belief that I’m not supposed to be there, I have no degree and feared losing it all. So I quit during a breakdown and although I’m supposed to be really good at what I “do”, I haven’t worked in that field again.

The bad, as a child I was molested. As a teenager raped by a next door neighbour. Had a terrible relationship with siblings. Physically abusive brother who if we had a fallout from children till adulthood, wanted to “destroy” me and how others saw me, so would put all my perceived dirty laundry out to family and friends. Mainly the fact I was molested and raped. As a teenager landing up comatose because I attempted to take my own life and then landed up in a mental hospital to go through intensive counseling.
I had twins who had a rare condition in the womb but was able to by divine intervention travel across the globe to be seen and “operated on” by the world expert on this condition. Incredible favor.
Sadly one of my twins was stillborn.
I then found out that a book was written about my family detailing that my father had sexually assaulted his younger brother. I was always close to my father so this news caused a breakdown. My world fell apart again.
Worked my way through this and came to know my mother was infected with HIV deliberately by her partner who knew his status.
So much more has happened but after recently battling a life threatening condition that came close to claiming my life. I’ve decided to follow my dream and have started a degree with the intention to go through until I have my PhD in this field. So far my marks are almost 100%.
My heart is so incredibly grateful because me life has been so hard at times. But I have 2 beautiful children. An amazing husband who has stood with me through it all.

alltoomuchrightnow Wed 24-Apr-19 00:34:30

Blueberrybell you jogged my memory

Never did I think I'd feel an earthquake where I lived (or be present for a world famous explosion ) (both same town different years)

Didn't think I'd have songs written about me (four songs, two different people, I still have the albums but don't play them)

Didn't think that when my abusive ex fiance died, that his family would just cut me out / ignore me, especially his mum who I thought cared about me

Didn't think I'd end up with an old friend I hadn't seen for many years (now my longest relationship so far)

1DoesNotSimplyWalkIntoMordor Wed 24-Apr-19 17:23:44

I thought I would never get married or have children. Never thought that my husband would have an affair with a friend of mine, never for one moment did I think that I would end up divorced because of the actions of my friend. They are both lying, cheating, cowardly arseholes who didn't have the guts to get divorced before jumping in to bed with eachother.

MamaOfThe4GirlsTribe Mon 29-Apr-19 12:01:04

Having depression and anxiety.

Having three children with someone who made me so unhappy but I just didn’t want to be home and was drunk with each one.

Then finding someone who took on my three girls as his own, makes me so happy and having a fourth with him.

So having 4 girls at the age of nearly 30 was definitely not something I saw myself doing!

Somewhereovertheroad Mon 29-Apr-19 12:38:14

Having children who are school refusers. There is so little support for parents in this position.

xJune88 Mon 29-Apr-19 13:09:35

Finding the man of my dreams at 15 and marrying him 7 years later. Been together 9 years and very happy.
Losing my dad at 23 to cancer.
Having 2 miscarriages at 23.
Now been 38 weeks pregnant with a little girl who I cannot wait to meet and love forever.

Dottydoll Tue 30-Apr-19 15:40:07

This post is making me cry. I didn’t know I’d be so sentimental in my old age!

MarieeBarone Thu 09-May-19 12:50:50

2 miscarriages.

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