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Total pube shame and mortification.

(121 Posts)
DameDoom Thu 18-Apr-19 11:39:59

I have made a new friend who popped round this morning to borrow my steam mop. Yes, that's how I roll. Was putting on the kettle which is a cream colour - this is relevant as cream shows everything - when I noticed a very long pube stuck on the enamelled bit. I tried to brush it off nonchalantly but it would not budge. Do you think she saw and where the fook did it come from? How do pubes get on a kettle? Well, one pube anyways.

Dieu Thu 18-Apr-19 11:48:01

I very much doubt she'd have noticed smile

formerbabe Thu 18-Apr-19 11:48:56

Do you think she saw

Yes, definitely

MaMaMaMySharona Thu 18-Apr-19 11:50:08

Do you have a DP with a beard? Mine does, and his beard hair gets EVERYWHERE. Everything in my house looks like it's covered in pubes.

CarolSpatula Thu 18-Apr-19 11:52:12

Did she drink the tea you made with the pube kettle? That should give you some indication of whether she saw it or not

Easterbunnynearlyhere Thu 18-Apr-19 11:53:59

To get a true pic of your slovennness does your toaster match your kettle?

DameDoom Thu 18-Apr-19 11:54:30

No MaMaMaMySharona DH is unfortunately smooth as a baby's bum. I can't blame the cats as they are short-haired and non-pubey looking. Anyone who has ever seen a pube would know exactly what they were looking at: a pube-riddled kettle.

ChrisPrattsFace Thu 18-Apr-19 11:55:59

What on Earth do you do with your kettle OP? 😂

mimibunz Thu 18-Apr-19 11:56:57

I hate to laugh at another person’s misfortune but 😂. Sorry, OP, I know that’s not helpful.

DameDoom Thu 18-Apr-19 11:58:19

Easterbunnynearlyhere I am quite pretentious so kettle is a Smeg. No, the irony is not lost. I have also lent her the fabric pad for the steam mop which is probably covered in who knows. Steam mop was Silvercrest fron the Lidl aisle of mad things so hope that counterbalances wanky cream kettle plus pube.

Fairenuff Thu 18-Apr-19 11:59:24

Have you been steaming your fanjo? Yes, that's a thing.

DameDoom Thu 18-Apr-19 12:01:29

CarolSpatula she left about an inch of tea. Probs choking on a pube.

MashedSpud Thu 18-Apr-19 12:02:12

Omg smeg and pubes. Laughing so hard right now.

TFBundy Thu 18-Apr-19 12:03:32

I wore a mini-skirt on a date once when I was younger and thinner. Met date, sat down crossed my legs and saw the fattest, blackest pube trapped under my tights half way up my leg. It looked like one of Brian Blessed's bum crack hairs. Was praying date hadn't seen it right up until the point he pointed at it and burst out laughing.

I am sure your friend didn't see though OP flowers

LaurieMarlow Thu 18-Apr-19 12:05:14

I am quite pretentious

grin

You're my new favourite poster.

DH is quite hairy (has a lot of chest hair and so on). He moults and it looks like our house is covered in pubes. There's not much I can do about it so I couldn't care less.

AnneTwackie Thu 18-Apr-19 12:07:17

she definitely saw the pine stuck in your smeg, you should probably move house in shame

AnneTwackie Thu 18-Apr-19 12:07:33

*pube not pine

PhilomenaButterfly Thu 18-Apr-19 12:08:34

😂 at one of Brian Blessed's bum crack hairs.

DameDoom Thu 18-Apr-19 12:10:49

It could have been a mega long nipple pube. I had one that poked through the padding of my bra when having a fitting in Fenwicks about three years ago. It's still crystal clear in my mind; however, that does not explain the kettle.
My attempts at sophistication are always cruelly thwarted by me being myself.

LaurieMarlow Thu 18-Apr-19 12:12:17

Anyone who has ever seen a pube would know exactly what they were looking at: a pube-riddled kettle.

grin grin grin

TheVandalsTookTheHandles Thu 18-Apr-19 12:13:22

😞 are you bored op? Got an article to write?

DameDoom Thu 18-Apr-19 12:13:28

AnneTwackie I can't - imagine the particulars on Rightmove? Photos of the odd pube forever in glorious technicolour on the internet.

NameChangeNugget Thu 18-Apr-19 12:14:05

We’ve all done it hmm

BlueMerchant Thu 18-Apr-19 12:15:19

Every time she sees you she will be thinking 'pube'. She'll likely change your name on her phone contacts to 'pube'. She will refer to you as 'pube' amongst her family and friends.
You need to move and find a new friendship group in order to escape the ridicule grin

Purplecatshopaholic Thu 18-Apr-19 12:15:53

A Smeg with a pube on it - laughing so hard right now

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