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Total pube shame and mortification.

(121 Posts)
DameDoom Thu 18-Apr-19 11:39:59

I have made a new friend who popped round this morning to borrow my steam mop. Yes, that's how I roll. Was putting on the kettle which is a cream colour - this is relevant as cream shows everything - when I noticed a very long pube stuck on the enamelled bit. I tried to brush it off nonchalantly but it would not budge. Do you think she saw and where the fook did it come from? How do pubes get on a kettle? Well, one pube anyways.

CharlyAngelic Fri 19-Apr-19 07:19:35

My kettle is a Russell Knobs .

FundayFriday Fri 19-Apr-19 00:26:09

Was it a bit of crusty cheese? You know the stragglers when you make a toastie?

It will forever be your pubey kettle [grins]

Fancy a pube? I mean brew?
Sugar? One pube or two?

DameDoom Thu 18-Apr-19 23:43:56

CamillafromCobham it's a quandary. Mine are a multitude of colours -think tawny but realistically grey. I think it could have been mine due to the length and wave... but on a kettle, howay man?

maddening Thu 18-Apr-19 23:25:03

You should have said something along the lines "goodness how that got there, it is definitely not ours as we both wax, it couldn't be one of ours" that would throw her off the scent.

CamillafromCobham Thu 18-Apr-19 23:13:42

It could be an eye brow? I sometimes pluck my husband’s longer offerings and they too have a large bulb at one end. Or was it quite wiry? Also, what colour was it? Did you specifically recognise it as one if your own pubes?

DameDoom Thu 18-Apr-19 23:02:19

It was only one pube - I had not coated the kettle! I have defo made a new friend but I fear she has no morals or standards.. unlike dead classy moi.

Hahaha88 Thu 18-Apr-19 20:02:08

*choked

Hahaha88 Thu 18-Apr-19 20:01:41

I'm loving this thread.
I think if someone I knew had a Smeg kettle I'd choke at the amount of money they spent on boiling water more than I've ever chocked on a Pube grin
@fundayfriday my dp has nipple pubes that are of an insane length. He has no other chest hair. Like what is that about??

I share a desk at work. I genuinely thought I'd found a Pube in my keyboard the other week. Then I remembered my desk sharer is a very bearded man. The relief I felt! I've since found many more and an begining to wonder if he does some beard grooming at the desk? hmm

Gazelda Thu 18-Apr-19 19:25:00

Is that true about mushrooms? Should I have been de-pubeing them all these years?

64sNewName Thu 18-Apr-19 19:18:35

I feel a little better about the state of our bathroom floor now.

CharlyAngelic Thu 18-Apr-19 19:16:14

A Pubelic Library Book !

LakieLady Thu 18-Apr-19 19:03:44

Pubes get everywhere in my house. One fell out of a book I was reading once

You could have used it as a bookmark.

Imagine if it had been a library book? It might been some stranger's pube. shock

8feet12paws2fins Thu 18-Apr-19 18:13:29

I am*

8feet12paws2fins Thu 18-Apr-19 18:13:02

Basically, someone has put their hands in their pants for a sly rustle through the forest to calm a wayward itch and then used the kettle! I’m am laughing my odd socks off at the thought of you and your friend both clocking pube kettle and wondering who feels more awkward grin

sadeyedladyofthelowlandsea Thu 18-Apr-19 18:03:29

I think the moment I fell in love with DP was when I was helping him set up a vair vair professional work thing, after we'd had some private fun. He pulled a puzzled face, kind of rolled his mouth around a bit, and then tweaked something out from between his teeth.
'Sadeyed, next time, could you trim yourself a bit? I do enjoy your full bush, but this is not a good look when I'm smiling at someone I want to impress'

I died. And then I died laughing.

CharlyAngelic Thu 18-Apr-19 17:49:16

DameDoom took it off again !

BoreOfWhabylon Thu 18-Apr-19 17:44:37

What this thread needs is a theme song.

<clears throat>

Put the pubey kettle on
Put the pubey kettle on
Put the pubey kettle on
We'll all have tea!

PigletJohn Thu 18-Apr-19 16:23:13

youtu.be/NTMINrFtPlU

intensiveeveline Thu 18-Apr-19 16:05:34

You can always count of pigletjohn to have the answers, whether it’s plumbing related, humidity related or Smeg related

Smegma and plumbing are related - kind of - I think grin

bebeboeuf Thu 18-Apr-19 15:55:20

Best post of thread is @Pigletjohn who comes on to give informative definitions of Smeg.

You can always count of pigletjohn to have the answers, whether it’s plumbing related, humidity related or Smeg related

FundayFriday Thu 18-Apr-19 15:50:22

She might not have seen it if she had had her eyes plucked out by crows.

ROFL.

DameDoom Thu 18-Apr-19 15:21:29

thighofrelief101 I am definitely about 50% straight but I would definitely say I fancy her a bit. Lovely, elegant, funny and clever and pretends not to see pubes.

SkintAsASkintThing Thu 18-Apr-19 15:18:07

Pubes get everywhere in my house. One fell out of a book I was reading once confused

DameDoom Thu 18-Apr-19 15:15:12

I can't look at a quill whilst penning my earnest yet pube-based missivethighofrelief101- too similar. Will text - although don't have to as she is well up for lunch. I might have met a like-minded soul.

justasking111 Thu 18-Apr-19 15:08:34

Married to a hairy beast, the things moult everywhere. DS is even hairier but gets his beloved to wax some bits.

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