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Total pube shame and mortification.

(121 Posts)
DameDoom Thu 18-Apr-19 11:39:59

I have made a new friend who popped round this morning to borrow my steam mop. Yes, that's how I roll. Was putting on the kettle which is a cream colour - this is relevant as cream shows everything - when I noticed a very long pube stuck on the enamelled bit. I tried to brush it off nonchalantly but it would not budge. Do you think she saw and where the fook did it come from? How do pubes get on a kettle? Well, one pube anyways.

DameDoom Thu 18-Apr-19 12:17:42

TheVandalsTookTheHandles It's true. It might have just been one pube but it was definitely visible. She might not have seen it if she had had her eyes plucked out by crows.
FWIW I have been on MN for years and have never changed my name so you can check if you like.

intensiveeveline Thu 18-Apr-19 12:20:06

I can't blame the cats as they are short-haired and non-pubey looking


Bookworm4 Thu 18-Apr-19 12:20:57

Put your house on the market by the end of the day, there's no other way forward.

intensiveeveline Thu 18-Apr-19 12:21:22

I hate it when pubes go pube-lic like that wink

DameDoom Thu 18-Apr-19 12:23:29

intensiveeveline that is a fabulous cat and completely rocks the pube.

missmouse101 Thu 18-Apr-19 12:23:55

Sure it wasn't partner's chest hair?

Pinkarsedfly Thu 18-Apr-19 12:23:56

What’s worse, a smeg with a pube on it, or a pube with smeg on it?


Purplecatshopaholic Thu 18-Apr-19 12:24:27

Bookworm you are cracking me up

Wavingwhiledrowning Thu 18-Apr-19 12:24:53

Haha! Brilliant! Yes, she definitely saw it. And then had to gulp her tea and hope for the best.

I once saw a pube on my desk at work. Obvs not mine (promise), but I spotted it when I was talking to someone in my team. Tried to sort of swipe it away in a casual way and it stuck to my hand. A) why was it on my desk? B) why did it stick to me? C) did my team member notice? (answers: a) I dread to think. B) see a. C) yes. If their laughter was anything to go by.)

DameDoom Thu 18-Apr-19 12:26:21

What a fab cat intensiveeveline If only we could all wear our pubes so proudly.

intensiveeveline Thu 18-Apr-19 12:28:51

If only we could all wear our pubes so proudly

Agreed! That cat is just daring anyone to say something about his pubey-fur.

DameDoom Thu 18-Apr-19 12:29:27

missmouse101 sadly not - it had a very pronounced bulb at the root. Definitely groin area.

DameDoom Thu 18-Apr-19 12:42:23

Wavingwhiledrowning we are all just trying to navigate our way through life but our human-based foibles are always there trying to fuck us right up. I agree that it was definitely not your pube.

KurriKurri Thu 18-Apr-19 12:47:28

I was once given a cup of tea at someone's house and when I got to the bottom of the cup there was a pube sitting in half a centimeter of tea.
At least your friend knew there was potentially a pube in her tea, so could take steps to avoid it (which given she left an inch in the bottom of the cup, she did).

But in answer to your question - yes she saw it, yes she has told all your mutual friends, yes you are now referred to as Pubey by everyone in your circle of acquaintance. Embrace your new found fame grin

FurrySlipperBoots Thu 18-Apr-19 12:47:47

I know I'm innocent, but what is 'smeg' slang for?

BoreOfWhabylon Thu 18-Apr-19 12:49:51

It is springtime. The birds are nesting.

No doubt a bird was gathering nesting materials from your neighbourhood. No doubt this included random scattered pubes.

A pube-laden bird flew in through your kitchen window looking for sustenance in the form of crumbs on your countertop, adjacent to the Smeg kettle. It obviously had to put down its burden in order to peck up the crumbs.

Having refreshed itself, it flew off again to carry on nest building, but inadvertently left behind a stray pube.

A plausible explanation, I feel.

And it could have been worse - the Smeg kettle could have been left bespattered with bird shit, so count yourself lucky!

Dahlietta Thu 18-Apr-19 12:51:49

I reckon if you put a perfectly normal head hair on a kettle and then boil the kettle, the hair would get frazzled into taking on a pube-like texture. Can’t be arsed to do an experiment, but maybe someone else can and could report back.

Oblomov19 Thu 18-Apr-19 12:52:39

" I am quite pretentious" grin

intensiveeveline Thu 18-Apr-19 12:55:31


grin Weeping!

Please write a book!

Jebuschristchocolatebar Thu 18-Apr-19 12:56:55

Maybe your dh fancies the kettle

intensiveeveline Thu 18-Apr-19 12:57:22


OneDayillSleep Thu 18-Apr-19 12:57:26

furryslippers it's just a brand of electrical goods that pretentious people with money to burn tend to buy, £200 for a kettle type thing...!

And yes she deffo saw the pube on your cream smeg grin everyone from miles around knows about your pubes! Get the house on the market grin

BoreOfWhabylon Thu 18-Apr-19 12:57:43

It is a perfectly reasonable explanation for the dilemma OP finds herself in intensiveeveline. All she has to do is style it out.

I was not attempting levity <po-face>

Puzzledandpissedoff Thu 18-Apr-19 12:58:44

cats are short-haired and non-pubey looking
she left about an inch of tea. Probs choking on a pube

I don't care if it's true or not - I just appreciate the best belly laugh I've had all week

(Eyes cats ... nope, definitely non-pubey grin)

intensiveeveline Thu 18-Apr-19 12:58:49


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