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To wonder why I’m being sent “sissy” pics of a guy I went out with ten years ago?!

(54 Posts)
dontmessagemethat Thu 18-Apr-19 08:24:15

On Saturday I got a fb message request from someone I didn’t know. I had a look at the picture and it was a guy wearing lingerie (I think it’s part of the sissy kink). I thought it was spam at first but when the person said “this is x” I realised it was a guy I went on a date with when I was at uni ten years ago.

I was a bit confused but let it go. I was thinking at first it was a scam but since then I’ve received ten more pictures from different people, all looking like him (I mean he’d have aged 10 years so I guess it’s him?) in different lingerie/wigs, all telling me to humiliate him because he’s a sissy.

I have no contact with him but tried to find him on fb to see what was going on. It was so long ago that I can’t even remember his last name but I couldn’t see him through mutual friends. He has a non-English name that I’ve not heard anywhere else which is why I’m fairly sure these pictures are of him and have been sent to me on purpose.

Has this happened to anyone else? I’m blocking as the pictures are sent but I’m wondering if it’s a weird scam and it’s just a coincidence it looks like/has the same name as the guy from uni and it isn’t actually him..? I don’t know how they’ve connected me with him as we aren’t fb friends, the only thing I can think of is there’s one picture of us together.

I have absolutely no problem with the sissy kink but I’m genuinely worried he could be in trouble and I don’t know how to get in touch with him. Also wondering if anyone has experience with it (I had a friend who did it and told me about it so I knew what was going on when I opened the message) and is this part of it? I’m just very confused and don’t particularly want explicit pictures messaged to me every day!!!

dontmessagemethat Thu 18-Apr-19 08:24:45

Sorry in the first line I meant “I had a look at the picture they’d sent me” not ther profile pic

happinessischocolate Thu 18-Apr-19 08:26:57

My guess would be that it's him that messaging you.

I'd reply telling the sender to get lost and then block.

TheMobileSiteMadeMeSignup Thu 18-Apr-19 08:27:21

Surely the messages are going to your filtered inbox rather than your main one from those you are actually friends with? Just delete without opening if you aren't friends with them. I'd assume if it's lots of different profiles then it's not actually the guy from your past.

Whodafeck Thu 18-Apr-19 08:29:24

Just delete them.

I had a friend’s ex do this (sent pics of him dressed as a woman) I just deleted them, blocked the fake Facebook person and rang him to let him know (which was a very awkward conversation).

dontmessagemethat Thu 18-Apr-19 08:34:29

They are going into filtered but I sell stuff on fb sites and there’s no subject matter so I need to open them to see what it’s about, it’s like Russian roulette..

I haven’t responded and they can’t see I’ve opened it before I blocked them but it’s happening so much I’m actually concerned about him.

The pictures are definitely of him (or at least the same person) as you can see his face every time. It looks exactly like him and has the same distinguishing features, it’s just so odd. It’s happening so much now that I’m just so curious as to what the heck is going on?! How did they find me and what’s in it for them?

VanillaCoconutDove Thu 18-Apr-19 08:38:43

I’ve heard of men who enjoy sexual humiliation who have online domme figures, who would threaten to send compromising pictures to friends/family/ex’s if they don’t receive financial incentives.

dontmessagemethat Thu 18-Apr-19 08:40:24

Ah I was wondering if it was something like that and he gave them my name as a low risk person?! Currently comparing the only photo I have of him with all the new ones to see if it is him, like a modern Sherlock Holmes..

SwimmingKaren Thu 18-Apr-19 08:41:17

Could he be sending them himself and be getting off on it somehow? Why would anyone else close to him even know who you are after all this time has passed? It sounds like some kind of kink thing to me.

Whodafeck Thu 18-Apr-19 08:41:23

In my case, thinking about it, I’d say I was an acquaintance rather than a close friend, does that make sense?

Halfrek Thu 18-Apr-19 08:48:07

I think it is him and he is doing it for kicks. He gets the double thrill of humilating himself and (attempting to) intimidate you at the same time.

Obviously a different situation to the ome you are in but you can see these behaviours described over and over from the partners of crossdressing men.

Tingface Thu 18-Apr-19 08:52:11

I think he’s pissed someone off and they’re trying to embarrass him.

PlainSpeakingStraightTalking Thu 18-Apr-19 09:22:46

Just block and ignore, dont - as suggested - respond.

Lavellan Thu 18-Apr-19 09:25:07

It's him sending it to you, he gets off on people humiliating him. Delete, block, do not engage.

Unless you're into it I suppose lol.

InfiniteSheldon Thu 18-Apr-19 09:27:20

This is bordering on harassment it's funny ish now but I wouldn't like it

hoodathunkit Thu 18-Apr-19 09:28:39

He has refused to pay a blackmailer

He has been silly and engaged with someone who is not who they appear to be online, has sent them compromising photos at their request, has then refused to pay however much they asked for, so they sent the photos to everyone on his email list

I think this is the most likely scenario

Unfortunately people kill themselves over these kinds of scam

I would report to the police if I was you, it might save his life if he is being blackmailed

WildFlower2019 Thu 18-Apr-19 09:29:06

I'd respond and say

"this is getting really boring now, I'm not interested."

OldAndWornOut Thu 18-Apr-19 09:30:13

Men pay good money to women who are prepared to humiliate them.
He is probably wanting you to respond by having a go at him for free.

ArabellaDoreenFig Thu 18-Apr-19 09:31:46

Sounds like a pervert to me.

This is exactly why I have NO problem with ‘kink’ shaming because it seems to me the rise of social media has led people think it’s perfectly acceptable to air all of their sexual lives out in public. It isn’t.

Furthermore the normalisation of ‘kink’ is a dangerous road to go down, particularly for woman and children, as it inevitably leads to the erosion of boundaries.

And OP you have no problem with this guy getting off on the idea that women should be submissive and need to be humiliated and dominated ? Think about what that says about how he views women.

WhatToDoAboutWailmerGoneRogue Thu 18-Apr-19 09:33:00

It sounds very much like a kink arrangement he has entered into. He’s a sissy and gets off on the humiliation, so most likely he’s got an online domme sending these pics as a way for him to get off.

It would be highly unlikely this was something he wasn’t consenting to. It’s very popular in that side of the kink scene.

hoodathunkit Thu 18-Apr-19 09:33:07

It is also entirely possible that this kind of humiliating photo is not something he is into, but something that a criminal blackmailing network will try to trick people into.

He engages with someone he thinks is an attractive young woman (or man depending on his preference), the attractive young woman says I"I would really like it if you sent me photos of you wearing xxxx", the moment he sends the photo, he gets another request for something even more compromising, it goes on until he refuses at which point the demand for money and the threats appear.

This is an absolutely horrible crime

I would report it to the police, definitely

hoodathunkit Thu 18-Apr-19 09:34:31

If he is not being blackmailed, and I think blackmail is the most likely scenario, he is harassing you

Either way report to the police

WhatToDoAboutWailmerGoneRogue Thu 18-Apr-19 09:34:36

And OP you have no problem with this guy getting off on the idea that women should be submissive and need to be humiliated and dominated

ArabellaDoreenFig He’s a sissy; he thinks exactly the opposite. It’s him that wants a woman to humiliate and dominate him.

NottonightJosepheen Thu 18-Apr-19 09:38:24

Dons deerstalker cap, Edinburgh cloak and puffs on a calabash pipe...

'The messages were from him, OP. And you, OP are him or share his kink and are experiencing vicarious sexual pleasure in eliciting responses about your kink. Elementary, my dear Watson.'

hoodathunkit Thu 18-Apr-19 09:39:03

The reason I think it is most likely to be blackmail is that these images have been sent to you and you hardly know the man.

Blackmailers will punish their victims by sending photos to all their contacts on email and social media.

If this man genuinely was into enforced feminisation / sissy humiliation / whatever you call it he would not be sending photos to people he hardly knows.

There is a thriving "scene" where he can meet like minded people if this is what he is into

This absolutely screams blackmail and sexploitation to me

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