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Neighbour let himself in our garden and started knocking on our patio door

(116 Posts)
Dontcomeinmygarden Wed 17-Apr-19 17:29:41

So. DH is in the shower. I’m upstairs. Ds is up and down. He comes and finds me and says ‘mummy, I think there is a man in our garden!’. I was thinking WTF and followed him downstairs to the garden door where indeed there was a man- my dopey neighbour standing staring in to our living room door. He had let himself in to our garden by putting his hand over the fence to unlock the gate, and decided to knock on our back door instead of going round the front and pressing the doorbell. I was really pissed off that he did that, I was walking round the house in my pjs and ds was panicked when he saw someone out there.

Turned out he just wanted to ask if we minded if he had a look at the guttering in case there was a blockage and needed to come our side a bit.

AIBU to be annoyed? My view of this might be a bit coloured by various other crap including them installing a set of drums in the kids bedroom, nicking a bit of our garden when they put the fence up, being offish and also him winking suggestively at me once just after I met him!

TheCouncilDestroyedMyWall Thu 18-Apr-19 21:33:09

Regarding the fence, when they next go on holiday, move it onto their side and see if they noticewink

Ewanthescreamsheep Thu 18-Apr-19 21:24:05

a dose gate???? a side gate!

Ewanthescreamsheep Thu 18-Apr-19 21:23:28

When we first moved here we had two weird experiences with people coming to the back door.
1) a woman collecting some Freecycle stuff came to the back door - when I expressed surprise, she replied that she wouldn't dream of knocking on someone's front door.
2) A takeaway driver delivered to the backdoor. The next time he delivered we happened to have just had a dose gate installed and he commented that he hadn't been able to get around.
So I guess it's a thing in some areas, to go around the back 🤷‍♀️

justarandomtricycle Thu 18-Apr-19 18:51:22

I think you're right about it being a regional thing more generally, but some people are just like that anyway wherever you live.

It is extremely rude, under normal circumstances, to go and prance around someone's back garden without express permission - most people don't even do this to their tenants. I remember being up north and people not only doing that, but actually walking in the back door unannounced to say hello after having spoken to you for about 40 seconds in your life.

DH had a great deal of difficulty with this, he would positively bristle.

mydogisthebest Thu 18-Apr-19 18:39:41

I never said it was a regional thing for someone to knock on a patio door. I said it seems to be a regional thing that people come through a back gate (even when it is 6 foot or higher) and walk up the garden to knock on the back door (or patio door).

In 40 years living in the south I never once had anyone do that. 2 days of living in the north and the neighbour who I had only said hello to was knocking at the back door.

Other neighbours have done it as have a meter reader, a few delivery drivers and the postman.

I don't like people just walking into the back garden. If I want to walk around semi naked I should be able to. To me, it is very rude to just walk into a back garden. Also our garden is not overlooked so I might want to sunbathe. That is why we now have a padlock on the gate

Babuchak Thu 18-Apr-19 18:35:35

no, I am explained why I would be extremely pissed off to find someone standing in my living room, or at the door of my living room, my teen daughter being in her underwear or nightie being one of the reasons why for those people who pretend it's fine and acceptable when in the real world it's not.
I could have mentioned DH and I having sex too, which we should be able to do without neighbours gaping at us.

If I get a pic on my phone app of someone at my front door, I ignore it. If I get a notification of someone in the garden, I call the police. That's what normal people do, and that's why we have cameras.

Redglitter Thu 18-Apr-19 18:32:57

If you call the police to tell them there's a man standing on your patio, they come

Not necessarily. If I received a call like that I'd be asking the person who called if they knew the person. If they said it was their next door neighbour knocking at their back door then no the police wouldn't be sent out

Nicknacky Thu 18-Apr-19 18:31:12

You stated talking about your teenage daughter answering her door in her underwear......

Babuchak Thu 18-Apr-19 18:27:26

They are as much of a risk if it’s the front door or back door they come to. confused

in which world? Normal people come to the front door, which you are free to ignore. It's not normal to let yourself in somebody's property and start knocking on the patio door, which in my house gives you full view of the kitchen or the living room!

Whose story have I changed? I’ve said all along it’s a neighbour coming to the back door, that’s what the op said?
you keep talking about postman or window cleaner, mine rind the door bell on the front door, they don't wander round our garden! Who does that!

Nicknacky Thu 18-Apr-19 18:23:52

They are as much of a risk if it’s the front door or back door they come to. Their level of risk doesn’t change if the door has a letterbox on it.

Whose story have I changed? I’ve said all along it’s a neighbour coming to the back door, that’s what the op said?

Babuchak Thu 18-Apr-19 18:21:54

Does that mean you phone the police when the window cleaner chaps for money or a delivery man comes with a package?

Why do you keep pretending that someone ringing your door bell and someone arriving on your back patio is the same, in the real world it's not quite the same thing. hmm

No need to pretend it's about someone coming to your front door, this is not what the thread is about.

You must be a joy if you take people statement in such a way and changing their story for them.

CostanzaG Thu 18-Apr-19 18:06:45

In all fairness I don't think you live in the real world!
Phoning the police because your neighbour is in your garden, knocking on you door in order to ask a perfectly reasonable question is one of the most bizarre things I've read.

Nicknacky Thu 18-Apr-19 18:04:14

I work in an area where uniformed officers are still attend nonsense like this.

Does that mean you phone the police when the window cleaner chaps for money or a delivery man comes with a package? After all, they could be a threat too.

Or genuinely, are you normally so paranoid?

So stop being ridiculous and pretending you would phone the police because a neighbour comes to the door.

Babuchak Thu 18-Apr-19 18:00:30

Nicknacky
I don't know where you work but I am so glad that the local police is much more responsive and pleasant around here, and if a kid calls about a man in the garden they will pop in.

Since when knowing someone is enough to dismiss a threat? That's not real and we all know it.

Nicknacky Thu 18-Apr-19 17:53:55

babuchak Thankfully our call handlers are trained well enough that they would ask “do you know the man?” which would then allow them to realise they police were not required. Especially when they ask what he had done and you would have to tell him he had chapped a door.....

So it wouldn’t matter if you didn’t have a law degree.

Babuchak Thu 18-Apr-19 17:51:14

With a few exceptions, trespass is a civil matter. The police wouldn't be interested

I wasn't aware of the legal term, but in real life, we would not call quoting a "trespass" but telling the police that there's an uninvited man in our back garden which is a threat. Thankfully the police around here doesn't demand a law degree when you call them to report something grin

RottnestFerry Thu 18-Apr-19 17:45:43

I still teach my kids (and my mother!) to call the cops when someone trespass, it's safer

With a few exceptions, trespass is a civil matter. The police wouldn't be interested.

Nicknacky Thu 18-Apr-19 16:16:36

If you phone and tell them it’s your neighbour (which is what the thread is about, after all) they will politely tell you to piss off

Babuchak Thu 18-Apr-19 16:09:49

And the police will tell you it has nothing to do with them that the neighbour has chapped a door

bollocks, if you call the police to tell them there's a man standing on your patio, they come.

If you call them to tell them there's a man standing in front of your front door, they'd tell you not to open the door if you're that worried grin grin grin

BackforGood Thu 18-Apr-19 16:06:46

MN is never going to agree on this - it depends on where / how you've been brought up and your relationship with your neighbours.
I don't float around the house naked, and I've never had neighbours that I didn't get on with so I wouldn't have an issue with this.
I realise you will never convince a lot of MNer that this is a normal thing to do though.

Nicknacky Thu 18-Apr-19 16:06:16

And the police will tell you it has nothing to do with them that the neighbour has chapped a door (no matter what door it is)

Benes Thu 18-Apr-19 16:03:56

can't you really see the difference between a front door and a patio door which is exactly the same as walking into your home uninvited?

it really isn't.

Calling the police because someone ( and in this case someone you KNOW!!) is a massive over reaction.

Babuchak Thu 18-Apr-19 16:00:24

it's not the door...

can't you really see the difference between a front door and a patio door which is exactly the same as walking into your home uninvited?

I haven't got such issues anyway, the dogs would take care of everything grin

I still teach my kids (and my mother!) to call the cops when someone trespass, it's safer.

Nicknacky Thu 18-Apr-19 15:54:24

Yes, but not a neighbour who has chapped a door or window!

And if your kids have to phone the police because someone comes to the door then they are not mature enough to be left.

Even my 11 year old can manage that.

Babuchak Thu 18-Apr-19 15:52:09

Nicknacky
I don't know where you live, but there are constant reminders around here to call the police every single time you see someone in your back garden - usually low life coming to steal stuff!

If it happens to be innocent, the police can sort it out, it's not up to my kids to have to guess who is legit and who isn't.

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