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To tell colleague to do one??

(54 Posts)
womandear Tue 16-Apr-19 09:42:38

AIBU? I don’t work in Mondays. Recently flew transatlantic to a US office for a meeting that ran Tues- Thurs. I flew Saturday ( as did other colleagues) before because the flights are so much cheaper that they cancel out the hotel cost plus it helps with the jet lag. I have a family so miss the weekend with them but don’t mind cos I’m rubbish on jet lag/it’s a nice city to be in.
Here’s the AIBU. As I don’t work Mondays and we had nothing planned I didn’t go into the office that day, saw an old friend instead. Boss didn’t mention it. A full time colleague realised this and is giving me grief now, saying I should have come in, am taking the piss cos she went in to see her manager/team and worked the Monday while I was gallivanting around San Francisco. She’s threatening to tell line manager now as we have a similar trip coming up. Can I tell her to F off?? We do have a culture of presenteeism in the US offices so am worried that if she makes a big fuss about it it will look bad for me. I already get constant grief/ comments from US managers about being part-time.

However - 1) gave up my weekend. 2. Had nothing to be in office for I would have just been doing emails etc. 3. I wouldn’t have been paid or had time in lieu for the extra day.
Can I tell her to do one??

sockatoe Tue 16-Apr-19 09:44:59

Why go to the bother of telling them to do one? She can tell your line manager if she chooses. You did nothing wrong. Perhaps it may have been prudent to discuss it before it happened, but c'est la vie 🤷‍♀️.

Lifeisabeach09 Tue 16-Apr-19 09:45:18

It is none of her business. I'd make it clear it's between you and the managers.

LuluBellaBlue Tue 16-Apr-19 09:45:52

Yes absolutely! I’d raise it with your manager as a ta none of her business and if anything sounds like bullying...... wink

womandear Tue 16-Apr-19 09:49:30

Maybe I phrased that wrong - I want to tell her that’s it’s not her business and I’d rather she didn’t make a big deal of it. As it is she’s been gossiping to colleagues about it... she’s always going on about how i’m Part-time while everyone else HAS to work FT etc. They don’t. We all have flexible working.
Next trip SHOULD I work the Monday for free? Being paid not an option... too much paperwork and we have a culture where people like to be seen to go beyond and above... in early - leave late.
I leave on time cos of young kids. But I am also high achiever/ successful/ exceeding all targets etc.

womandear Tue 16-Apr-19 09:50:14

Am sick to death of my PT hours being made a thing at work.

Eustasiavye Tue 16-Apr-19 09:56:09

Your colleague is in the wrong.
Don't work the Monday.

flumpybear Tue 16-Apr-19 09:59:30

I'd circumvent her and go to your line manager and let them know she's shit stirring (chose a better phrase) and you're keen she's told to stop it - you're happy perhaps to work the Monday if prearranged and you get the day off in lieu otherwise Mondays is a non working day for you no matter what country you're in

Disfordarkchocolate Tue 16-Apr-19 10:00:12

You have already given up the weekend that's quite enough presenteeism. Be clear with your colleague that you don't work on Mondays and leave her to look like a gossip.

oooerrmissus Tue 16-Apr-19 10:01:09

I am PT so I sympathise with the constant jibes.

The best thing to do is to just shrug and say I don't work on Monday. And repeat every single time it's mentioned.

Let her tell your line manager, if you're not being paid then you don't need to work it.

ajandjjmum Tue 16-Apr-19 10:05:39

I suppose it depends on whether you could have contributed on the Monday. If not, it might have been better to have just mentioned to your manager in advance that you assume you'll be working your normal days?

Colleague gossiping is unprofessional and immature.

singymummy Tue 16-Apr-19 10:05:55

no you shouldnt of worked the monday as thats your day off and not getting paid.
i think part of the issue could be work paying for a day hotel when you didnt need to be there. the flight dates are irrelvant just the day at the hotel when you're not working.

Gottalovesummer Tue 16-Apr-19 10:14:22

Hi OP, I suspect colleague is jealous that you don't work Monday's and is being unpleasant to you because of that.

I agree with advice ^ just repeat "I don't work Monday's" . You don't owe her any explanation for this. Hopefully she'll get bored/find something else to complain about (people like this usually do)

BuzzPeakWankBobbly Tue 16-Apr-19 10:23:17

I have also done the earlier/cheaper flight to the US thing for work.

My employer paid for me to basically sightsee and eat out for a few days as again the flights and hotel worked out cheaper that way.

Not one single soul expected me to work on my days off.

Your colleague is jealous.

thecatsthecats Tue 16-Apr-19 10:30:26

I had exactly the same situation, except it was a day of holiday I took when I went to San Francisco. I spent my weekend travelling, had the Monday as holiday, then was up and working 7am-6pm Tues-Thurs, and 7-2pm on the last day, before spending another weekend travelling.

On top of that, I was staying with our CEO, so never had real downtime (and everyone finds him a real chore personally!) and had jetlag for the week of holiday I had booked afterwards.

When it came to granting lieu, my manager gave me nothing - until I pointed out quite how bonkers that would be if the same scenario was played out in the UK.

desparate4sleep Tue 16-Apr-19 10:31:56

Your colleague is jealous. However, I don't think your bosses would be happy of they think about it. You should have discussed with them before you went whether you would be expected in the office on Monday and arranged a different day off on your return.

Meandwinealone Tue 16-Apr-19 10:34:59

I get all weekend days in lieu and my non working days in lieu if I travel. I am also part time.

That is really standard. When and where you chose to take them is surely up to you.

But if I was travelling I would have worked and taken a day off elsewhere. But that’s just me, and I think what you did was totally FINE.

jay55 Tue 16-Apr-19 10:35:46

Do you get time off in lieu for weekend travel? Would you for the Monday?

If not then why on earth would you go in?

Brefugee Tue 16-Apr-19 10:42:25

I'd probably have worked on the Monday and then taken the Tuesday following my return off. And I'd also have mentioned that I think travel and being away over a weekend also merits Time In Lieu (although I'm like you and would have just seen it as a perk rather than something really onerous).

What people forget is that being on a business trip is pretty full on, but these days it just seems to be accepted that there is absolutely no give and take with companies, which is a shame.

RedPanda2 Tue 16-Apr-19 10:43:14

Why would you work it if you weren't getting paid or TOIL? your colleague is a busy body!

justilou1 Tue 16-Apr-19 10:48:42

Suggest that she pay you half of HER Monday if she’s so keen?

womandear Tue 16-Apr-19 10:52:08

Yeah, TOIL would be given in UK but my managers are yanks and they frown upon TOIL so I NEVER take it for travelling on a weekend to US but would if I worked on a day off in the U.K. at a conference . It’s a funny one. US colleagues have shorter hols, less maternity ( 6 weeks!), are rarely allowed to work from home, are not part-time EVER, and because i’m in a ‘global’ team it’s tricky to take U.K. benefits openly...

womandear Tue 16-Apr-19 10:54:59

Comments are helpful, thanks all. Will speak to line manager about it and point out that I have smashed my full-time sales target working 4 days so my work- life balance is obvs. working for me and the company.

Missingstreetlife Tue 16-Apr-19 10:56:33

You work 4day week. End of, don't work Mondays.

OakElmAsh Tue 16-Apr-19 10:59:20

I'd actually go against the grain and say that if you're on a trip overseas, i would work the Monday - you want to take full advantage of the opportunites to work with others face to face that you don't usually see ... and seeing as your trip etc is being paid for by your employer, i'd be inclined to get as much out of the trip (work wise) as you can - its not like you have "home duties" to look after

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