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AIBU?

Do you ever wish you married for money?

295 replies

augustales · 15/04/2019 14:09

Or do you ever wish when picking a partner you considered money?

OP posts:
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CupcakeDrama · 15/04/2019 14:11

YES

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Mominatrix · 15/04/2019 14:12

Marrying just for money is silly. Equally silly is to marry someone without considering the financial outlook of both partners - marriage is not a love contract, but a business one.

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HappyDinosaur · 15/04/2019 14:12

No, I can't imagine that more money could make me happier than I am now. There might be things I think it would be nice to have, but a loving husband beats that for me!

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nrpmum · 15/04/2019 14:12

Hell no, money can be lost/frittered. Personality, companionship are far more important to me.

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PinkiOcelot · 15/04/2019 14:12

Yes. Definitely.

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FinallyHere · 15/04/2019 14:13

Absolutely not.

We may not be rich, but we decide together what to do with what is our own money. I would not like to be a canary in a golden cage , with someone else making all the decisions.

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Fantasisa · 15/04/2019 14:14

I had a chance to marry someone very, very wealthy but I just did not love him. I never even think about him so I guess that means I don’t regret my choice!

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Mammyloveswine · 15/04/2019 14:14

In all honesty yes i do. I hate being skint and i resent my husband earning less than i do.

I try and encourage him to get qualifications or get a promotion at work and he claims hes doing training but i think they are using him and he just doesn't see it. Its actually quite unattractive the lack of ambition he has now we are mid-30s and my career is starting to get back on track after the kids

In saying that he is a good father and a loyal and faithful husband and when i do feel resentful i try and remember that.

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NewAccount270219 · 15/04/2019 14:16

I sometimes joke I'm a failed gold-digger because when I met DH he had a high earning city job but by the time we married he'd packed it in and become a teacher...

We are by far the lowest earning couple of our friends from university, and sometimes I do wonder what it would be like if he was still in the city and earning 4+ times his salary. I do think it's swings and roundabouts, though. We're the only ones who have managed to retain a fairly equal relationship after having a baby, and I think our financial equality (which meant we could do shared parental leave, and also means my job is seen as just as important as his by both of us) is a big part of that.

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Eustasiavye · 15/04/2019 14:18

Well this probably won't go down well but here goes.
If I had the chance to marry someone very rich who would leave their vast wealth to me and I could guarantee I would not have to be with them long then yes I would definately marry them.
Would I marry someone rich who would probably out live me? No.

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AryaStarkWolf · 15/04/2019 14:19

No, I have my own money

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Littlemissdaredevil · 15/04/2019 14:20

In some ways I do. I grew up in a poor family with zero help who just sponged off me. I’m the higher earner and working full time and knackered. Can’t be a SAHM as we won’t have enough money to pay the bills and can’t go PT either.

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augustales · 15/04/2019 14:21

By marrying for money I don't mean someone earning £100k, I mean either inherited wealthy ee old families, or business owners on £400k+ a year etc

OP posts:
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Fiveredbricks · 15/04/2019 14:22

YES. I can have an affair for romance 😁

And if we only ever married for convinience then his girlfriends wouldn't complain too much either 🤔

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AryaStarkWolf · 15/04/2019 14:24

By marrying for money I don't mean someone earning £100k, I mean either inherited wealthy ee old families, or business owners on £400k+ a year etc

Nah

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stucknoue · 15/04/2019 14:24

I didn't marry for money but if I'm honest, I've stayed married for it, though that's at an end

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HBStowe · 15/04/2019 14:24

No. No amount of money could be better than a lifetime of being loved, respected, cherished, supported, entertained, amused, impressed and inspired by someone you love with all your heart.

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Mominatrix · 15/04/2019 14:25

Arya, the question is just as important to women with money. I, too, have my own money and it was important to me that I marry a) someone I loved, b) someone I respected and c) someone with the same financial outlook as me. I could never respect or countenance a cocklodger with no ambition who sponged my money, just as I could not be that person who sponged someone else’s money.

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heathercharcoal · 15/04/2019 14:26

I'm quite lucky as I fell in love with DH, who has a lovely personality and is a wonderful partner, but also is very wealthy. I didn't consider his money when I married him (his salary increased significantly after our marriage), but it has made our lives much easier. He's very respectful of my role and we are equal partners with full access to joint money.

I wouldn't ever have married someone I didn't love just because he was rich. But then again, just because someone is rich it doesn't mean you can't love them, or that they can't be a loving, faithful partner and a great father.

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Oysterbabe · 15/04/2019 14:27

I wouldn't marry for money. Neither would I marry someone unable to support themselves and up to their eyeballs in debt.

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AryaStarkWolf · 15/04/2019 14:27

Arya, the question is just as important to women with money. I, too, have my own money and it was important to me that I marry a) someone I loved, b) someone I respected and c) someone with the same financial outlook as me. I could never respect or countenance a cocklodger with no ambition who sponged my money, just as I could not be that person who sponged someone else’s money.

Yes but that's not the question asked, "someone with the same financial outlook" the OP even clarified that in her update

"By marrying for money I don't mean someone earning £100k, I mean either inherited wealthy ee old families, or business owners on £400k+ a year etc"

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Drogosnextwife · 15/04/2019 14:27

Yes, bit then our relationship can be particularly fractious at times and that's because DP is an idiot with money and we just don't have it to waste.

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Illberidingshotgun · 15/04/2019 14:31

Yes, not that I'd married for money, but I do wish I'd considered money. STBEXH had nothing when I met him, and was in a low paid job. I had a large house with no mortgage, and a decent income. He's now walked off with half of everything, and doesn't have to work.

I wish i was callous enough to now go and marry for money, but I'm not!

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justasking111 · 15/04/2019 14:31

An ancient to me English teacher once told our class to always look at a man and think is he good husband/father material. I was 15 at the time but recall the following discussion we had with her. Can you imagine a teacher being allowed to hold that discussion today. She was right though. I enjoyed my time with flakes who were entertaining but married the solid bloke.

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EmeraldShamrock · 15/04/2019 14:33

Yes. I wish I had made better choices early to make decent money myself too. I grew up believing it doesn't matter if you had no money, once you'd food warmth and love. How naive was I.
I never thought I could actually have both so I set the bar low for myself and future partners.
I often tell DD she can reach for the world if she wants it.

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