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To take my child's house key away when

(154 Posts)
avenueq Fri 12-Apr-19 22:14:04

... yes, when?
When they go to uni? When they set up in their own home?
I still have a key to my mother's house, but because I live in another country and only go for extended visits it's not like I ever go unannounced - does that make a difference?

Goldmandra Fri 12-Apr-19 22:16:18

I'm in my 50s and haven't given my key back yet.

PickettBowtruckles Fri 12-Apr-19 22:17:24

I have a key to my parents, it’s the same house I grew up in and when I moved out I wasn’t asked for my key back and never thought to offer it. I’ll let myself in if I’m borrowing something, or visiting and they’re not home yet etc. My brother is the same. I think I’d be a bit upset if I was asked to give them back.

Crunchymum Fri 12-Apr-19 22:18:22

I have a key, always text if I'm popping in though. My mum does have GAD, so uninvited visitors (even her own kids, with keys!) need to announce themselves.

Pixilicious Fri 12-Apr-19 22:18:31

I’m 46 and moved 150 miles away 20 years ago and still have a key.

fleshmarketclose Fri 12-Apr-19 22:18:52

My adult dc still have their keys even though they no longer live at home. I've never thought about asking for them back and tbh it wouldn't bother me if they let themselves in whilst I wasn't there so there seems no need to ask them for their keys back.

KoalasAteMyHomework Fri 12-Apr-19 22:19:14

I'm in my 30s and still have mine for my parents house. And also for my in-laws as they gave me one about ten years ago when DH and I had been dating a few months. Though mostly I still knock/ring rather than let myself in at either house.

Any reason you feel you should ask for it back?

RainbowMum11 Fri 12-Apr-19 22:20:05

Me &DSis both have keys to our Mums, she has moved a couple of times since we left home but it's just in case.
DM also has keys to our houses too - there have been occasions where we have needed them (mainly when DM leaves her keys somewhere!!!)

kaytee87 Fri 12-Apr-19 22:21:53

Is there any reason you want to take it back?

I have a key for my mums, haven't ever lived in their current house and wouldn't use it unless asked. My mum has keys for mine too.

huggybear Fri 12-Apr-19 22:22:29

I've never had a key to my parents house. My mum has one to ours though.

AppleKatie Fri 12-Apr-19 22:22:35

I’d be hurt if my parents asked for their key back.

They have a key to my house but never use it without permission which is both sweet and annoying at times. I wish I had the kind of mum who lets herself in and does the washing or cleans the bathroom 🤣

One can dream...

MyDcAreMarvel Fri 12-Apr-19 22:22:42

Never, why would you?

MereDintofPandiculation Fri 12-Apr-19 22:22:56

It's useful for adult children to still have keys so they can check up for you is something happens when you're away. So I don't see the point in asking for them to be returned.

avenueq Fri 12-Apr-19 22:23:10

No I'm not planning to take it back, just interested in opinions. Sorry if it was misleading!

NicksWife08 Fri 12-Apr-19 22:23:11

I still have the key to my dad's house.
My mother used to take my key to her house back as a way of controlling and manipulating me into doing what she wanted. It uses to upset me so much, even in my twenties. Please don't ever ask your child (no matter how old they are) for the key back, unless they've obviously done something terrible to warrant them not having access to your home.

ZippyBungleandGeorge Fri 12-Apr-19 22:23:49

I'm 34 still have a key, my DH also has a key to my parent's house and he has never lived there!

happyhillock Fri 12-Apr-19 22:23:54

Took kid's key's back when they left got married etc, the same as i did when i left my parent's house, my neighbour has a key for emergencies.

MoaningMinniee Fri 12-Apr-19 22:24:06

I've just been given a new key to DM's house as she's just had the front door replaced.

I'm 54.

I've never not been able to get into my parent's home if necessary although I did once come in through the kitchen window at 5 a.m after a rather good party because I didn't want to wake them and get told off

Holidaycountdown Fri 12-Apr-19 22:24:21

Depends if them having access to your house bothers you. My brother and I both have keys to mum’s (I’ve never lived in her current house) was very useful when her she locked himself out and couldn’t get hold of her so db was able to go and let him in. We also both have new keys to dad’s which has had the locks changed since we lived there.

DisplayPurposesOnly Fri 12-Apr-19 22:24:35

I had a key through university because my parents' house was still my home. I eventually gave the key back when they moved house (after I had moved out).

I live 250 miles away now, I don't have a key, I just know the code to the key safe smile

It's your house; when, if ever, do you want the key back?

WorraLiberty Fri 12-Apr-19 22:24:41

My adult DCs (one has his own place and the other's at Uni) have their own keys.

But they wouldn't just automatically drop in unannounced after about 9.30pm-ish. They'd normally text or something. Well unless my DS is actually staying with us during Uni holidays or something.

Holidaycountdown Fri 12-Apr-19 22:24:58

Ugh. When her dh locked himself out.

BlueSkiesLies Fri 12-Apr-19 22:26:11

Never! I still have my key.

I live 150 miles away though so hardly likely to be popping in unannounced.

DramaAlpaca Fri 12-Apr-19 22:26:42

I'm 54 & have always had a key to my parents' house. My DC have keys to ours & I can't imagine that I'd ever ask for them back.

AintNobodyHereButUsReindeer Fri 12-Apr-19 22:26:58

I still have a key to my mums house! I only need it because she often sleeps through the days so if I'm dropping off a bit of shoppng or something I can take it in without waking her up.

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