Wise MN, please help to settle this for me. My sister and ex-bil separated 4 years ago and now divorced.
3 children all under the age of 10 all in FT school. Marriage broke down because ex-bil had an affair, my sister found out and rightly so, she left him.
This is my AIBU:
Ex-bil covers everything financially since the split and will continue to do so for the foreseeable future -
He pays, mortgage on 4 bed property (in joint names) for my sister and their DC.
He pays ALL of the utilities, internet etc.
He pays her car insurance because he says she drives their DC around everywhere but she pays to maintain her car.
He puts a decent sum of money in their joint savings account for the DC every single month.
My sister is retraining and will be back in work by the summer. Her current income is £1300.00 a month and all she has to pay out of that is her contract on her phone, food, clothes and school trips etc for the DC. That's it.
Ex-bil is going to continue with the financial support as it is because naturally they are his children too AND because, now here's the thing......Ex-bil is financially solid where the DC are concerned but only sees them for a few hours once a month.
Doesn't call, interact outside of his chosen timeframe with them (sister has pushed and pushed to get him to increase his contact, he refuses and says this is the only time he is willing to give DC), he has no understanding of their schooling, health issues or anything, my sister does it all and they have never been with their Dad overnight, my sister literally does everything and so has no life.
We are butting heads right now because she wants ex-bil to increase his financial support towards the DC, she is very angry with how little he has to do with their DC and feels as she deals with everything else and she never gets a break or any emotional or mental support from their Dad (youngest DC has just left hospital after battling meningitis, thankfully fully recovered, ex-bil called once to ask how youngest DC was but never visited), he should simply pay more.
My argument is yes he is a wank stain but he pays enough and she should leave the finances as they are and focus on her career which will give her even greater financial independence. It is likely if she asks him he will simply humiliate her and tell her no which will just make her even more angry!
She's older than me so I'm being told I'm too young to understand..... please give me some insight.
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AIBU?
Opinions please: This is more than enough financial support after marriage split, right?
59 replies
DM1209 · 12/04/2019 21:35
OP posts:
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