Just that really. I feel like I've been struggling with low mood and anxiety forever now. Until now I always believed I'd find a way out of it. I've taken up yoga, meditation, journaling, worked with various therapists - currently a psychologist. I've done everything I can do improve myself in terms of my work - endless courses, currently trying to complete a masters which I am struggling with as entire days get lost to sitting around and crying.
This week I was walking in the woods with my children. The sun was shining, my children were happy and healthy and running about and I just looked it all and it was like it couldn't touch me or something, or I couldn't access it. Logically I could see I should be happy but I just felt awful.
I don't feel loved or lovable. I feel useless. I can't get my career to work despite throwing all I can at it. I can't get my friendships to work although I think I am very loyal friend but I think I push people away because I try too hard and seem needy. I am very lonely. My marriage is often in bother. There is a lot of resentment, on going criticism, anger. It feels like my very best isn't wanted in all areas of my life - work, love, relationships and it all suddenly feels very, very pointless.
Nothing I do works. And I keep thinking well this is it then. This is my life. And I don't know what else I can do, I've just run out of hope and ideas. Today I was looking at yet another course thinking maybe if I just do that everything will click into place but I know it won't help.
So it's me. I am the problem. I just don't know what else to try.
Please or to access all these features
Please
or
to access all these features
AIBU?
To ask you how to be happy?
39 replies
plotmissinginaction · 12/04/2019 19:21
OP posts:
Don’t want to miss threads like this?
Weekly
Sign up to our weekly round up and get all the best threads sent straight to your inbox!
Log in to update your newsletter preferences.
You've subscribed!
Please create an account
To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.