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His and his exes conservatory furniture

(39 Posts)
Hulahoop14 Fri 12-Apr-19 17:40:24

Hi, I’m new here, without sounding sad I’ve no one else really to ask this to!

I’m engaged, get married in September this year for the 2nd time. The beginning of this week, my fiancé came home from work (he works as an electrician) with some gorgeous conservatory furniture. We’ve needed some for a while, but having just paid our wedding off, we decided to wait a while before buying more. He said a customer at work was getting rid of it and asked him if it was any use to him. It needed sprucing up a bit, but as I’m good with my sewing machine, I said I would make more covers and it would be fine.

A day later I bumped into a friend of my brothers (who’s parents live down the road from my fiancé’s ex wife and kids), who asked if I liked the new furniture. I asked how he knew and he said that he’d helped my fiancé carry it up to his van from his ex’s garden! I immediately called my fiancé, who for about 5 minutes was adamant he’d got it from work, then finally admitted it was from the house he had with his ex wife!! I’ve asked him to take it away as I don’t want it, but he’s said I’m being daft and it’s juts furniture. I am hormonal at the moment, so can someone tell me, am I being unreasonable to not want furniture from his ex wife’s house?!

cantthinkofanythingwitty Fri 12-Apr-19 17:42:14


Hisnamesblaine Fri 12-Apr-19 17:42:53

I see your point....ish. but im broke poor and if the furniture is nice and your changing the covers then whats the harm. Bit shady of him to lie tho

RainbowWaffles Fri 12-Apr-19 17:43:08

I wouldn’t care. I don’t really see the problem.

Pinkcar21 Fri 12-Apr-19 17:43:16

Yabu but I do get where you’re coming from. I’d still keep it, it’s petty to dump it now.

Pinkrose13 Fri 12-Apr-19 17:43:31

It’s not about the furniture. It’s the lies!

Chancewouldbeafinethlng Fri 12-Apr-19 17:44:03

It’s up to you but I’d be happy with the freebie! Don’t think I could build myself in to getting jealous over furniture.

Did she agree he could have it though? Very cheeky if he’s stolen it!

FlossieTeacakesFurCoat18 Fri 12-Apr-19 17:44:13

So he lied because he knew you wouldn't be happy?

You'll be told YABU but I don't think many people would want furniture your dp shares with his ex!

He was being totally unreasonable to lie like that and it would make me doubt everything he says from now on!

SparklyLeprechaun Fri 12-Apr-19 17:44:32

Surely he has other stuff from his old home, he hasn't left empty handed? What's the difference?

Bankofenglandfiver Fri 12-Apr-19 17:44:32

i wouldn’t want it.

I know that’s illogical.

Did he live in the house with the furniture?

Hoppinggreen Fri 12-Apr-19 17:46:40

Wouldn’t mind having the furniture
Wouldn’t be happy he had lied about where it came from

Kaddm Fri 12-Apr-19 17:47:37

Your fiancé is a liar which is the more concerning thing.
I’d not want the furniture either. I’d sooner sit on the floor or get something very cheap from ikea.

Honestly this particular situation is petty but you can see how easily the lies roll off your fiancé’s tongue.

bellabasset Fri 12-Apr-19 17:48:04

No reason not to have the furniture but why wouldn't he say: Ex doesn't want our conservatory furniture and has asked if we would like it, and I would if you don't mind.

HogMother Fri 12-Apr-19 17:48:11

He was silly to lie about it, and this is what would be out of order for me. However he probably did it because you reacted the way you did. He predicted it, and didn’t want the agro.
Get some covers on it and enjoy it

MissPollyHadADolly19 Fri 12-Apr-19 17:48:22

I don't think yabu, I wouldn't want hand me downs from my DHs ex either but if you get on with her and have an amicable relationship then I would say maybe you slightly are being abit unreasonable.

But.. I'd be more pissed off at the fact he lied.

llangennith Fri 12-Apr-19 17:49:32

Are you upset that he lied about where it came from or because it's a link to his past?
Would you have been ok if he'd said, "ex said I can have our old conservatory furniture. What do you think?"
I don't think you're being completely unreasonable but I do think you're being a bit daft to turn away perfectly good furniture.

FudgeBrownie2019 Fri 12-Apr-19 17:49:50

I'd be pissed off at the lie, not at the furniture, and I'd want to know why he'd bother to tell the lie in the first place; why not just tell you?

HJWT Fri 12-Apr-19 17:51:21

YABU about the furniture YANBU about your DH LIEING to you, very childish...

NeverHadANickname Fri 12-Apr-19 17:52:09

Furniture wouldn't bother me but the lie would.

CalmdownJanet Fri 12-Apr-19 17:53:14

Yanbu. It wouldn't even be about the furniture for me but the lies and then the continued lie after you asked outright. I'd be so pissed off.

Does the ex know he was going to lie about it? Because that would send me over the edge if I thought my fiance and his ex were making a fucking eejit out of me like that

YourSarcasmIsDripping Fri 12-Apr-19 17:54:37

The furniture wouldn't bother me at all. I take a bargain where I can and couldn't care less where it's from.

The lie would piss me off though. 1. The actual lying . 2.That OH would assume I'd kick off over it and 3. What else is he lying about as to not "upset" me.

Ribbonsonabox Fri 12-Apr-19 17:55:15

YABU about the furniture. You are going to alter it with new covers and it's only for the conservatory it's not like it's going to be your bed or something!
But YANBU to be pissed off that he wasnt open about where he got it from.

I'd keep the furniture but I'd have a long chat about him being honest with you in future.

sackrifice Fri 12-Apr-19 17:56:24

I've used my OH's ex wife's dads old tools in my garden for the last 14 years. It never even crossed my mind that they were 'hers' and thus not to be used.

Honestly, this is nonsense. He probably lied because he knew your response would be ridiculous.

ems137 Fri 12-Apr-19 18:00:08

Wouldn't he have been nervous every time his kids came round that they'd say something?

It would be the lies that pissed me off but if he'd have asked me to start with I'd have said no thanks. I know it's probably totally ridiculous but I wouldn't want his ex wife's cast offs

Figure8 Fri 12-Apr-19 18:00:48

First- he's a grown man, he chose to lie.
Second- IF he lied for that reason tgen he was being manipulative.
I'd be cross too.

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