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AIBU to ask my friend to babysit as a one-off?

(43 Posts)
AppleApplePie Fri 12-Apr-19 12:48:56

I’m a SAHM with a 3 year old and a just turned 1 year old. I’ve got an interview on Monday morning for a job. I haven’t worked for the past 3 years and I’m in a fairly niche field, so I don’t have a lot of other opportunities to get back into my old career path.

The babysitter I booked for Monday morning has just cancelled!! The other babysitter I use is working that day. My older DC is in nursery on Monday, so I’m stuck for childcare for the baby only. I already checked with the staff at the nursery if anyone is off that day and free to babysit (which they sometimes do privately), but they can’t help as it’s short notice.

DH can’t take time off work next week. Our family are very hands off. I don’t have a DM and my DF probably wouldn’t help if I asked. He lives 2.5 hours away, but in any case he is always “too busy” (plenty of time for his girlfriend’s 5 kids and 9 grandchildren; 3 of the adult children live in his house!!!).

We recently moved to this area last year, so I’ve only got a handful of friends (mostly NCT). There’s only 1 who could potentially help, as others are back to work now or away on holiday.

I was thinking about messaging my friend and asking if she would be able to look after my baby. Would this ruin the friendship? I thought I could offer to pay her £10 an hour or do a babysitting swap and look after her DC on a weekend night?

It would be for 5 hours, as I need to commute there and back and it’s a 2-hour interview.

If I cancel the interview now, it’s pretty much off the table.

WWYD? I’ve thought what I’d do if she asked me and I’d be fine with it (not taking money, but helping and babysitting swap for future).

Doidontimmm Fri 12-Apr-19 12:51:53

Of course ask, I’d be happy to help if I was her & free. Another alternative may be a local teen on holiday? Good luck!

MrsGrannyWeatherwax Fri 12-Apr-19 12:52:40

You can only ask, but make it clear she’s fully free to say no and you’re okay with it. Probably best done face to face and if she knows your predicament she might be able to offer. Also make sure she knows it’s a one-off.

yellowellies Fri 12-Apr-19 12:52:44

of course you're NBU to ask, but she would also NBU to say no, so you need a plan B (C,D,X whatever) in place too - have you looked at sitters or similar?

Good luck

PotteringAlong Fri 12-Apr-19 12:53:30

Explain the situation and ask!

MrsWillGardner Fri 12-Apr-19 12:53:48

Ask her. Now. You have nothing to lose. You cant ‘ruin’ a friendship by asking.

PurpleDaisies Fri 12-Apr-19 12:54:17

I’d ask her, tell her you’re in a hole and you’d return the favour if she needed it and it’s totally fine to say no if she can’t it doesn’t want to. I wouldn’t offer to pay-that’s where it could be awkward.

CottonSock Fri 12-Apr-19 12:54:58

Of course ask

IvanaPee Fri 12-Apr-19 12:55:28

Of course it’s fine to ask her! I hope she can help.

MaybeitsMaybelline Fri 12-Apr-19 12:55:32

Ask now. Do it verbally though and not by text then you can express your desperation and appreciation properly.

Merryoldgoat Fri 12-Apr-19 12:56:07

Just ask! I’d do it for my friend no problem and would certainly not take any money

OnlyFoolsnMothers Fri 12-Apr-19 12:56:31

dont offer to pay, offer to take her DC to give her a night off.
There are also baby sitting companies you can use.

IvanaPee Fri 12-Apr-19 12:57:15

I think it’s worse not to text as you’ll put her on the spot.

I wouldn’t offer money either!

If I got a text from a friend offering me money I’d think it was weird! A bottle of wine on picking up your baby is more than enough. Tbh, an offer to return the favour if/when needed is plenty though.

Thehop Fri 12-Apr-19 12:57:28

Definitely ask x

Thehop Fri 12-Apr-19 12:57:54

What area are you in? Perhaps a childminder on here has space or knows of one?

UCOinanOCG Fri 12-Apr-19 12:58:34

Of course you can ask. Make it clear you are happy to return the favour for her. Also make it clear that it is okay for her to refuse as you realise it is short notice etc.

IvanaPee Fri 12-Apr-19 13:00:28

What area are you in? Perhaps a childminder on here has space or knows of one?

Um. Don’t give your baby to a stranger from a chat forum when you have a friend you can ask. 😂

This is just standard stuff that friends do for each other. It’s really not that big of a deal!

BigDamnHero Fri 12-Apr-19 13:01:34

Definitely ask!

I'm a recluse who isn't keen on babies and/or looking after other people's kids but even I'd be happy to help in that situation!

Horsemenoftheaclopalypse Fri 12-Apr-19 13:02:14

What you’re proposing sounds fine.

If you can’t find someone your husband should step up though.

Either that or phone and move the interview (tell them you are sick)
If you are doing that call in the next 2 hours

Butterymuffin Fri 12-Apr-19 13:02:34

Ask your friend and offer to return the favour. Say it's ok if she can't do it but it would help you out.

If that doesn't work then you're down to booking a professional through something like sitters.co.uk. Or getting your husband to call in sick.

BlueSkiesLies Fri 12-Apr-19 13:03:42

Of course ask! Ok to ask, ok for her to say no though as well.

Text her. Give her an easy out. Don't offer money but offer to return the favour (unless you know she is super hard up) and if she does it buy her nice wine/chocs.

Or get onto sitters.co.uk and try and book someone.

Dishwashersaurous Fri 12-Apr-19 13:08:30

Sounds sensible but make clear that she can say no.

Also sitters should be able to sort a babysitter for Monday

desparate4sleep Fri 12-Apr-19 13:18:42

Nurseries and childminders will likely have space next week for one offs as it's the school holidays so some parents who work term time will have their kids at home. Also of you do get the job youd need to look at this anyway.

Settlersofcatan Fri 12-Apr-19 13:22:33

Can your husband really really not do it? If you get the job, sometimes he will have to look after the kids at short notice if one is ill.

I would also consider calling and trying to reschedule the interview as a last resort- all they can say is no.

Chippychipsforme Fri 12-Apr-19 13:48:09

I'd ask. I'd happily babysit for one of my mum friends for a few hours. Offer to return the favour and bunch of flowers/bottle of wine!

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