Annoying housemate

[CustardD123]

Hi all,
Live in a houseshare and share the upstairs with 1 male and 1 female. The male goes to sleep very early sometimes (i.e. even 7pm on a friday night) and is very particular about the landing light and claims it affects his sleep when it's on (I used to live in that room and I tolerated it). He is extremely sensitive to the smallest sounds during sleep e.g. a tiny drip from the kitchen tap downstairs. He has been unreasonable a number of times. When I use the landing light to go downstairs, I always turn it back off once I'm done (within a few minutes).

The other girl in the house sometimes leaves it on for longer or forgets to turn it off which results in him getting angry, having words with her and him slamming his door. Yesterday, he had removed the bulb at around 9pm from the landing light so it couldn't be turned on.

Obviously not fair as he doesn't get to decide that kind of stuff as he's only a tenant just like the rest of us and this collective punishment of both of us getting "punished" for 1) him being a light sleeper 2) wasn't even me that had left the light on for long period. I mentioned the missing bulb to the other girl and she said it was odd and that she'd used it only a few minutes ago to go downstairs and put on the bathroom light (which faces his room) and went to sleep. He got up a few minutes later, turned that light off and slammed his door super loud. I feel what she did was perfectly fair considering his removal of the bulb...

The bulb is still not back.

PS this is not the first time he's done something like this.

What would you do?

[wowfudge]

Speak to him fgs. Is there a window above his bedroom door which could be covered over? Could he wear an eyemask, etc? I'd suggest asking what you can do to help him instead of starting a row over what he has done and how his behaviour is unreasonable. It'll take the wind out if his sales for starters. Try to get to know him and find out what's going on with him.

[Damntheman]

I'm assuming there must be a window in his door somewhere for him to be being bothered by the light. He needs to cover it up and recognise that he lives with other people who have a right to see what they're doing between the hours of 7am and 11pm.

[ScreamingValenta]

I used to live in that room and I tolerated it

Would it be an option to swap with him?

[Daffodil2018]

He should be living on his own if he’s that “particular”. It’s really not on him taking the bulb - what if someone fell down the stairs because they couldn’t see?

Is there one of those little windows above his bedroom door? If so you could suggest he covers it with tin foil. A decent eye mask would also help - you can get a black silk one on amazon for under a tenner.

[DontCallMeShitley]

He needs a sleep mask and some earplugs.

You need a huge flashlight to shine at his door if the bulb isn't returned.

[Talulahbeige]

You can get a bulb system called hue, there are many other varieties out there.
It’s not cheap but also not too expensive. It can be programmed with colours and dimmed lights etc. We have it in our bathroom ad at night it comes on at the lowest light level so we can see but it doesn’t wake us up with bright lights,

Make him pay for it as he’s been unreasonable but you all win!

[RestingBitchFaced]

Very unreasonable. Does he have to get up very early? Who the hell goes to bed at 7pm otherwise? No wonder he can't sleep

[HoraceCope]

that is unreasonable.
why does he go to bed so early
does he get up very early?

[WildFlower2019]

Motion sensor activated night light that plugs in the wall. Light enough so you can see your way around the landing, dull enough so it doesn't wake your roommate. Cheap enough too!

www.amazon.co.uk/Eufy-Stick-Anywhere-Bedroom-Bathroom-Efficient/dp/B071CFBXXZ?tag=mumsnet&ascsubtag=mnforum-21

[DSHathawayGivesMeFannyGallops]

He needs an eyemask and ear plugs and needs to look at what he can do to improve black out in his room and help himself to sleep. He hasn't taken any steps to help himself, so I think his behaviour massively out of order, controlling and unreasonable.

[wowfudge]

Sails not sales in my first post!

[letsdolunch321]

I would be speaking to the landlord about his behaviour.

[echt]

Why can't he put up an interior door curtain to block out the light?

Or fuck off?

[thisisalawfulinvestigationmaam]

How can he see the light when his eyes are shut and he's asleep?!

[krustykittens]

Some one who s that sensitive to noise and light, yet wants to go to bed at 7pm, shouldn't be sharing with other people. He needs to fuck off.

[HostessTrolley]

You can buy a motion activated lightbulb for about £8 on amazon. You leave the light turned on at the switch, and when it’s dark it comes on when it senses motion, then turns off automatically. It would at least solve the problem of people forgetting and leaving the light on for a long time. I’ve got one on my landing and one outside me back door, they’re cheap and work really well

[Drum2018]

I wouldn't be pandering to his ridiculous requests in a house share. Off to fuck with him to find a studio flat for himself. You all need to have a chat and tell him it's totally unreasonable to expect that you have to be quiet from 7pm, it's unacceptable that you can't turn on the bloody light to see where you are going (health and safety issue!) and that his door slamming behaviour is simply childish.

[PurpleTrilby]

I was going to say have regular house meetings to thrash things out between you all, but he is being ridiculous so I doubt that would work. So your 'easiest' option is to move somewhere else yourself, leave him to it. I put the quote marks in as I appreciate simply moving is not always easy and often stressful and expensive. House training someone like that is hard work and it's not your job. He is a selfish dick, wanting everyone else in the house to creep around in silence due to his precious sleep pattern. Which is not allowing you or the other tenant to 'enjoy the premises without let or hindrance', which is very likely a line in all your tenancy agreements, albeit normally in relation to the landlord not giving you grief. The legal cut off for being quiet is 11pm except on Sundays when it's 10.30pm, not when the little prince decides it's bed time! Good luck, I don't miss house sharing at all...

[Cherrysoup]

He’s precious, isn’t he?! Tell him to replace the bulb and speak to the ll or agent. Is there a lead tenant?

[dronesdroppingzopiclone]

Fuck that! It's a houseshare, not a desensitisiation chamber. Buy another bulb. Tell him his demands are fucking ridiculous and he uses an eye mask, earplugs, a white noise app or machine and gets a door curtain but you will not be curtailing reasonable sounds of living within sociable hours or would he prefer you went to the LL about it?

[dronesdroppingzopiclone]

I had a fan, eye mask, silicon earplugs and interior door curtain when I lived in house shares because well, some people are super loud. It's part and parcel of living in a house share.

[Ginkythefangedhellpigofdoom]

If he's so so sensitive to light then he needs to get a curtain put up over his door that he can pull once it's closed so no imagined light can get in through the cracks.

In a flatshare you have to put up with the annoyances of living in a shared space (obviously as long as no one is deliberately taking the piss) if he doesn't want to then he needs to rent a place alone!

[Holidayshopping]

Why did you move out of the room he is now in?

I used to have a room with a window over the door and whenever anyone turned the landing light on, it would light up my whole room like a Xmas tree. It probably wouldn’t wake me up if I was sound asleep, but if I was about to drop off, it was enough to totally wake me up. My parents could never ‘get’ it and said if my eyes were shut, there shouldn’t be a problem, but there clearly was!!

Your housemate sounds like he’s being an arse but I would be interested in hearing what he says about it.

[CustardD123]

Hi everyone - thanks a lot for your replies so far.
To answer some questions:
There’s no glass above his room door (he is apparently awoken by the light flowing through the tiny cracks around his door

He doesn’t have to get up early - he is self employed so works from home and is at home 90% of the time, whereas the rest of us actually go to work in the morning.

The reason I changed rooms was that it is a smaller room and one of the bigger rooms became vacant so moved in there. He’s had the same chance to move to a bigger room when people had left but each time he has refused and wants to be in the smallest room to save money 🙄

[CantStopMeNow]

You should speak to your landlord about his attitude and especially the behaviour.
Removing the light bulb makes it a health and safety issue and i'm sure your landlord would put his foot down about this.

He doesn’t have to get up early - he is self employed so works from home and is at home 90% of the time, whereas the rest of us actually go to work in the morning
So basically he's at home on his own all day and i bet he sees it as more 'his' flat that he 'has' to share with others.
That's probably why he's nitpicking and behaving like a bully.
If the light around his door is an issue then he needs to take this up with the landlord to rectify.....or do something about it himself, such as wear a sleep mask or fix draft excluding strips around the edging of the door frame.

Don't allow him to bully you.
HE chooses to remain in that room and not do anything about the door.
HE nitpicks over normal sounds of people living in the same house.
If he wants it all his own way and wants no 'noise' whatsoever then he can move into his own flat.

With regards him working from home - is his business registered at this address?
If it is then I hope the landlord knows because that will affect their mortgage/insurance etc.