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Daddy daycare frustrations!

(10 Posts)
KentdonMum Thu 11-Apr-19 15:58:43

So I've been working from home the last two days while DH looks after the kids. With the exception of a swimming trip yesterday, they've been watching TV, playing on their Kindles/Playstation or watching films. They haven't left the house today and tempers are fraying. DH has so far picked the lowest hanging fruit of pointless jobs around the house or his hobby related tasks to do away from the boys or come and sat in the same room I'm trying to work in playing games on his phone, totally ignoring the kids (so they come to me) and then he flies off the handle at them when they start to get fractious.

Please tell me I am not alone here? I have little hope of resolving it either as when I've tried to raise it in the past (however subtly and sensitively) I get the whole stroppy "Ok yeah, I get it, I'm a crap Dad'. I'm not slating him as a father at all, I just feel like there's a missed 'quality time/bonding' opportunity here - the lack of interaction is heartbreaking (and bloody frustrating when you're trying to work and can hear it all kicking off!). I'm not saying the kids need to be outside or doing craft activities every second of the holidays, but what's wrong with maybe reading them a story or playing a board game or two?

wizzywig Thu 11-Apr-19 16:00:46

Because that would require effort. And he doesnt want to make an effort as he thinks you do it all. I have a husband the same. He thinks after work he should do diddly squat

Divgirl2 Thu 11-Apr-19 16:00:56

I'd be working anywhere but from home if DP was looking after the kids tbh.

CheshireChat Thu 11-Apr-19 17:37:28

Have you ever answered 'yes, you are being a crap dad, you're putting minimal effort and interest into your kids'.

It's fine if they laze about for a couple of days, but if tempers are starting to get frayed it means they need to blow some steam which is hard at home.

purplereindeer Thu 11-Apr-19 17:39:47

Yep, he needs to get them out of the house. I'm generally against enabling crap DP/Hs but can you make them all a picnic for tomorrow, present it to him and chuck them out?

I know I find being an engaged parent way easier out of the house without the distractions of phone etc!

LostInShoebiz Thu 11-Apr-19 17:45:12

Do you call it “daddy daycare” at home? Maybe the naff novelty name gives the impression he doesn’t have to take it as seriously as you/as he should?

adaline Thu 11-Apr-19 17:48:30

He's being an appalling dad but you are allowing him to get away with it. You're working - either kick them out of the house to go and do something, or go out and leave him to it.

At the moment, he can opt out because you're in the house too - he knows if he ignores them, they'll go and find you instead.

NoCleanClothes Thu 11-Apr-19 17:50:26

YANBU. I would tell him straight if the kids are home all day without entertainment they'll argue and disturb you he has to take them out tomorrow.

KentdonMum Thu 11-Apr-19 19:26:33

No definitely not a used term - it’s totally naff and used purely in the desperation of the post grin

Goldmandra Thu 11-Apr-19 19:30:09

Just ask him to set out now what he plans to do tomorrow to keep them entertained and out of your hair.

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