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dating situation

(187 Posts)
Chrissi314 Thu 11-Apr-19 14:39:59

On Tue i went on the date with a guy. We sat on the date for three hrs.
Paid for everything during the date, I also offered to pay he didnt accept.
After three hrs asked if we could leave as it was getting late (11 pm) and i had late wake up. ( i think 3 hrs date is also too long, save something for next time if any).

He insisted to get me a cab home which i found very gentlemanly. The cab would be late to arrive but the bus stop was near the pub so i thanked him for that but it was 5 mins anyway to home. So he asked if i had a good night and i said i enjoyed a lot which was true.

He asked me if i want to go out again with him i said sure of course i would love to meet again and he said that i dont sound too confident about it. I said that i really had a great night and i made sure i wrote that on text too that i would love to meet again and i thanked him for the good time. He and i talked about places we could go next time. On text, he said he wished i went into the cab. I again thanked him but anyway the bus came there and then.

So he repeated on text he had a good night and speak soon with a kissing emoji.

The guy has a kid and is 37. The kid lives with his mum. He told me that he is single 8.months now and the last relationship was with his baby mama, but they are over two years now in reality.

I asked him if he is sure he is really over because at the end of the day he is tied with her for the kid and 8 months isnt really a long time anyway. He said he is really over and they talk strictly for the kid and if he wouldn't have to talk he wouldn't. I found that a bit exaggerated tbh. I told him the only reason i am asking is because this is online and a lot of people may lie about stuff. He said he wouldn't lie as he had this experience before being lied too from online so he wouldn't do it.

Just to note here he first started asking personal questions about my situation, dating history and stuff. I told him i had married at 25 for 2 years and then divorced. Im now 32. No kids.

He also told me his baby mama is not a good mum and selfish. I take this all with a pinch of salt tbh.

Another thing that striked me, is that this guy with another guy that had contacted me on the dating site, had extreme similarities. They told me the same things about their life, same area same situation they both told me they gonna move house, both kids the same age, also same chatlines. If this isnt a diabolical coincidence, i would think that these two are related somehow.

The other guy that I am talking about, asked to talk on the phone and he asked me out on the phone call where we said we can meet before i leave on holiday. After the call he never asked me out.

Now it is Thursday and he the guy i dated on Tue, didnt follow up for another date...

PlainSpeakingStraightTalking Thu 11-Apr-19 14:44:02

Whats the moral dilema?

nauseous5000 Thu 11-Apr-19 14:44:11

It's only been two days. He's prob playing a little hard to get. Can I just say tho, it's not really a good thing that he's slagging off his child's mother on a first date, whether she deserves it or not, it shows a lot of disrespect for her

SillyMoomin Thu 11-Apr-19 14:45:07

What’s your AIBU??!

Lots of waffle about another guy and this guy and far too much background detail about a taxi....

If he likes you he’ll call. If you like him, call him.
If he doesn’t pick up you’ll know where you stand

Chrissi314 Thu 11-Apr-19 14:47:15

I didnt know where else to post this topic.

My point is the other guy seemed related to the other guy that contacted me on the site.

Well i let him know twice that i would like to see him again, so i wouldnt initiate anything now

MrsXYZ Thu 11-Apr-19 14:48:58

Well there’s not a lot you can do here really. If he wants to take you out again then he can call you.

Not sure what the relevance if the other inline guy is - are you worried he has created a fKe inline profile?

And yes, slagging off his “baby mother” is far from ideal.

Chrissi314 Thu 11-Apr-19 14:50:04

well the two guys, seemed freakishly similar, b asically told me the exact same things word for word

chuttypicks Thu 11-Apr-19 14:52:08

What exactly are you asking? Your post and subsequent comments are not at all clear....

nauseous5000 Thu 11-Apr-19 14:53:19

So maybe it's him playing games/ testing you to see if you'd go after another guy or if you're committed to him- both of which make him a weirdo loser. Or it's not the same guy in which case make your own mind up about whether to keep talking?

MissSmiley Thu 11-Apr-19 14:53:32

The other guy was also him, he set you up to see if you are dating other people. He's not been in touch because you spoke to the "other guy"

coral13 Thu 11-Apr-19 14:53:54

I wouldn't worry about what he says about his ex too much. It's a lose lose situation. If he says anything bad, you'll think he shouldn't. If he's nice about her you'll think he's not over her.

Chrissi314 Thu 11-Apr-19 14:54:09

I need insight about this dating situation and some venting I guess?

He seemed that he liked me but he hasnt followed up.

Do you believe he is over his baby mama from what i described.

Also, is it possible that these two guys are indeed related?? I just find it a diabolical coincidence

Chrissi314 Thu 11-Apr-19 14:55:54

No. the other guy contacted me before we went on a date together with this guy on Tue. He is the one that actually after the phone call didnt contact again. He had also a different accent on the phone than this guy.

CupcakeDrama Thu 11-Apr-19 14:58:32

Im finding your post hard to follow. Relationships would be better to post this in, rather than AIBU.

nauseous5000 Thu 11-Apr-19 15:00:18

If he's got a different accent it's not the same guy? Not even sure why the second guy is relevant or why you won't call the original guy if you want to see him again. The worst thing he can say is no and then you're no worse off than you are right now...

SillyMoomin Thu 11-Apr-19 15:00:54

We can’t tell you if he’s over his baby mama (yuck hate that phrase)

He tells you he is. You either believe him or not

Piffle11 Thu 11-Apr-19 15:02:29

What I'm getting is that you're wondering if he's genuine? Or if he has numerous profiles on dating sites, and the reason the second guy didn't contact you for a date is that he's really the first guy as well, so obviously cannot meet you now, pretending to be someone else. Is that right? And I second that I would have alarm bells ringing about someone slagging off the mother of their child to a virtual stranger on the first date. Not good.

managedmis Thu 11-Apr-19 15:02:32

HATE baby mama too

Please don't use it, op

Chrissi314 Thu 11-Apr-19 15:03:21

well as i said i cant really initiate i told him clearly i want to see him again.

I am just wondering if he played some kind of set up with the other profile as literally they told me the same things.

nauseous5000 Thu 11-Apr-19 15:06:08

Why can't you initiate? I don't understand. He told you he wanted to see you again, you told him you wanted to see him again, now you haven't heard anything for oh, between 36 and 48 hours. That dsnt mean he won't be in touch but if you want to secure another date just flipping call him. I haven't had this much angst about texting a boy since I was 13.

And no, we don't know if he's over his ex or if the two profiles are the same. Different accents say they're not, but there's no absolute way to tell

Chrissi314 Thu 11-Apr-19 15:06:38

well, tbh yes I am wondering a bit what is going on.

During our date he had a call and told me he was a friend checking on him about our date and if it is going well.

He hasnt texted tho since Tuesday night that we spoke after the date....

adulthumanwolf Thu 11-Apr-19 15:07:55

How can any of us know if they're related?

Chrissi314 Thu 11-Apr-19 15:08:02

come on i mean i wouldnt text him again now... I told him two times I would like to meet again.... Texting once more would be too much

SillyMoomin Thu 11-Apr-19 15:08:24

Its been one date OP

you’re far too involved in this emotionally after one date.

Putthatlampshadeonyourhead Thu 11-Apr-19 15:09:54

It seems like your ego is dented and you are really looking for a reason, that he is dodgy. Rather than accept he hasnt asked you out again or the other guy wants to go out.

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