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Petty revenge

(48 Posts)
Dan68 Thu 11-Apr-19 03:43:59

I’ve lived next door to a neighbour from hell for almost two years. She gets drunk most nights and creates absolute scenes with her husband-mostly involving her screaming at him. Its terraced housing, so sound does carry but her behaviour is deplorable and wakens me most nights-like right now, even. The broken sleep is killing me, I have a very stressful load on right now and this is just adding to it.

Anyway, there is light at the end of the dark dark tunnel-we are moving into our new home within the next few weeks which is great for many reasons, but escaping her next door is a big one.

What petty-and legal-revenge can I exact upon her before we go? Help me mumsnet. All my ideas will have me in the jail!

BloodsportForAll Thu 11-Apr-19 04:07:38

All my ideas would end the same way as yours, OP

AvengersAssemble Thu 11-Apr-19 04:48:52

Grow up ffs hmm

KillerSpider Thu 11-Apr-19 05:54:27

@AvengersAssemble
Having a bad day hun?

NameChangeSameRage Thu 11-Apr-19 05:56:21

Just be thankful you're moving and sorry for the next person who moves in. Don't rise.

AlwaysCheddar Thu 11-Apr-19 06:26:43

Buy wind chimes?!

slipperywhensparticus Thu 11-Apr-19 06:38:09

Stinky fish there garden? Or poppy seed it for more long term revenge

HBStowe Thu 11-Apr-19 06:38:37

Stop being mental. Revenge is not a normal or achievable goal. You’re getting out of there so just do it and don’t look back. She will stop meaning so much to you once you’ve moved and you’ll feel bad that you ever gave her the headspace you did.

randomchap Thu 11-Apr-19 07:08:40

Living well is the best revenge

CheekyTreek Thu 11-Apr-19 08:07:31

Gosh, people are so uptight on here! Definitely windchimes and be so glad you are out of there soon!

mogtheexcellent Thu 11-Apr-19 08:09:37

Christ some people. hmm

OP I completely understand. My personal fave would be 'fuck you' written in weedkiller across their lawn. But practically
I would just make as much loud noise as possible. Particularly in the morning. You need the house sparkly clean for the new occupants so the Hoover needs to clean the skirting board on the shared wall a lot.

Battytwatty Thu 11-Apr-19 08:13:05

Does anyone else see the irony of Avengers Assemble post and her user name??

FuriousCheekyFucker Thu 11-Apr-19 08:15:32

Windchimes and old CDs on your fence.

Babdoc Thu 11-Apr-19 08:16:44

Probably too late, but I’d have been tempted to sell the house to a 6’4” violent thug with a short temper, a love of rap music, a massive sound system, a crack habit and several large Rottweilers!
Joking aside, just be happy you’re leaving, OP. That neighbour has a shit life, an alcohol problem and continual rows. She is her own punishment really, isn’t she?

TixieLix Thu 11-Apr-19 08:19:02

Gotta feel sorry for the husband having to live with that. Maybe furnish him with the name of a good solicitor and a link to the Mankind website.

AlmostAJillSandwich Thu 11-Apr-19 08:19:05

Maybe her life is miserable enough already? I doubt she just yells at him for fun, poor woman can't be very happy surely.

JellyFromTheBlock Thu 11-Apr-19 08:25:46

I lived with a neighbour like this, was living hell! Constant noise, music, screaming, loud sex, at all hours! My daughter was younger back then and was scared of what she would do next, and the interrupted sleep affected my work, it was horrific!

She always used to go see her boyfriend 30 miles away, they would end up getting drunk and having a fight, and she would drive home. I knew this cos she would always call me to say she was coming back.

SO one night, she called me to say she was on her way back. I'd had enough by this point...so this time the police were waiting for her 👌🏼

EKGEMS Thu 11-Apr-19 12:29:06

The old school flaming paper bag full of dog shit on the doorstep

twoshedsjackson Thu 11-Apr-19 12:46:00

When I moved away from unpleasant neighbours (many years ago) I was just relieved to be getting away; as PP's have said, living well is the best revenge.
Yet, oddly - one of the favourite tricks was to box my car in, meaning endless manoeuvring to extricate my car; deliberate ploy to engineer a disagreement, blowed if I would rise to the bait, but it was stressful.
I didn't have "For Sale" or "Sold" signs up, they had no idea I was moving out that day.
And on my moving day, the removal lorry, genuinely with no input from me, boxed the neighbour's car in. It wouldn't have happened if he hadn't been so keen to park too close on the other side IYSWIM.
The removal van was there for ages. I made myself scarce and left with a lighter heart ("going on ahead to the new address")
Rise above, and leave it to Karma.

ToEarlyForDecorations Thu 11-Apr-19 12:53:44

Windchimes and old CDs on your fence.

smile

BlueMerchant Thu 11-Apr-19 12:57:49

Buy a bottle wine (screw cap) drink it while you are packing....you know the rest...hand it to her as you drive away smiling.

Jebuschristchocolatebar Thu 11-Apr-19 13:01:55

Glitter bomb her. I did it to my colleague who is a cunt. I still relish the look on her face as she opened that envelope and watched all that glitter pour out.

Dan68 Thu 11-Apr-19 18:09:06

Thanks everyone-you’ve helped me put some perspective on the situation! A few of your ideas have had me in stitches so thank you. Glitter bombing would be excellent!

AvengersAssemble Thu 11-Apr-19 18:10:32

@KillerSpider no! Just what is the point when the neighbour would know who is responsible?

Confusedbeetle Thu 11-Apr-19 18:11:29

Revenge is petty and childish

Drum2018 Thu 11-Apr-19 18:19:24

Revenge is sweet. Wait til just before you move and send her a birthday card (regardless of when her birthday is) with the glitter and sign it off with some random name. No doubt the glitter will annoy her but also the fact that she won't figure out who sent the card and it's not even likely to be her birthday. Harmless but annoying for her.

DontCallMeShitley Thu 11-Apr-19 19:07:58

Don't glitter bomb her until after you have moved. Send one from a different postal area from where you live.

Give her time to forget about it, and do it again, another postal area. Then every few months, Christmas every year.

If you really hate her (I don't recommend this) send some gift wrapped sugar free gummy bears, a big pack. They must be sugar free.

wheeltrims Thu 11-Apr-19 19:37:57

Sugar free gummy bears? Is that because they're awful or some other sinister reason?

AnnieMay100 Thu 11-Apr-19 19:40:57

Haha definitely maggots from a fishing shop around her property they’ll find their way in any cracks

LadyMonicaBaddingham Thu 11-Apr-19 19:44:58

Post her a beautifully wrapped box of Maltesers. After replacing the Maltesers with prawns... 😈

MagicKingdomDizzy Thu 11-Apr-19 19:47:33

wheeltrims

Sugar free gummy bears? Is that because they're awful or some other sinister reason?

They cause explosive diarrhoea shock

SimplyPut Thu 11-Apr-19 19:51:27

I know I should be ashamed to admit this. I'm not.

Our neighbour was horrid. She frequently blocked our drive, threw rubbish into our garden, filled our bins, swore at my mother for daring to look her direction. I'm sure she was nuts.
One month before we moved she had her garden landscaped, the skip partially blocked our drive, mess and noise etc. She crowed loudly to anyone who would listen about how much it had cost and the ideal plant formation hmm.
The night before I left I sprinkled six packs of mixed wild flower seeds and watered them in to her borders along our fence. thanks

dayswithaY Thu 11-Apr-19 19:51:47

Don't waste your time. People like her are too thick and self centred to notice any prank you could pull. She's got bigger problems, move on and enjoy your new home.

AppleApplePie Thu 11-Apr-19 19:54:41

I seriously considered sending someone the tube of glitter that pops out everywhere. I didn’t want to waste the money on the asshole though. Such a great idea!!

Cherrysoup Thu 11-Apr-19 19:58:25

I absolutely sympathise, OP. I lived with alcoholic, loud, abusive neighbours who made our life a living hell, but I-almost-would thank them now because we were forced to move due to them, earlier than we wanted to. Now, however, I’m in a much nicer house than I would have had if I’d stayed. At the time, I wanted to nail his feet to the ground and take swinging shots at his stupid fucking head with an extremely heavy Le Cruset frying pan. He was a cunt, as well as physically abusive to his gf.

ContessaIsOnADietDammit Thu 11-Apr-19 20:00:11

Simply shock that is outstanding!

Cherrysoup Thu 11-Apr-19 20:00:56

The night before I left I sprinkled six packs of mixed wild flower seeds and watered them in to her borders along our fence.

Absolutely brilliant, @SimplyPut, love it! 💕

TightPants Thu 11-Apr-19 20:12:31

Years ago, my mum having been driven to the edge of sanity by the nasty individual next door to her (loud thumping music all through the night, every night) got out of bed, put on her dressing gown, went outside at 4am and poured a bag of sugar into the petrol tank of his prized beach buggy. winkgrin

notacooldad Thu 11-Apr-19 20:21:25

I doubt she just yells at him for fun, poor woman can't be very happy surely
Would you say that about a man shouting at a woman!
What an outrages thing to say!

DontCallMeShitley Thu 11-Apr-19 23:03:24

@wheeltrims

Sugar free gummy bears? Is that because they're awful or some other sinister reason?

There are some amusing Amazon reviews on them, and warnings.

UpToMyElbowsInDiapers Thu 11-Apr-19 23:06:09

“Does anyone else see the irony of Avengers Assemble post and her user name??”

I laughed out loud! 😂

wheeltrims Thu 11-Apr-19 23:10:17

Off to educate myself!

GoFiguire Thu 11-Apr-19 23:14:54

Sign her up for a load of junk mail.

fargo123 Fri 12-Apr-19 10:23:43

Years ago, my mum having been driven to the edge of sanity by the nasty individual next door to her (loud thumping music all through the night, every night) got out of bed, put on her dressing gown, went outside at 4am and poured a bag of sugar into the petrol tank of his prized beach buggy.

This reminds me of an incident in my old neighbourhood 20ish years ago. We had two pieces of scum living next door who'd play loud music etc at all hours of the day and night. The police and the landlords were worse than useless. (The landlords were the original neighbours/owners of the house who then rented it out to a succession of their feral friends).

But one day one of the scumbags called out to my husband and asked if he knew anything about the slashed tyres on the vehicle of the worse offender. This vehicle was his pride and joy and the type driven by low life scumbags like this. DH ignored him. But within a week they'd both packed up and moved out. Typical gutless bullies who can dish it out but not take it.

Even now I still truly wish I knew who did this so I could've thanked them and asked why they didn't do it sooner. I doubt it was random as the vehicle was always parked on their property slightly out of sight depending on the angle.

Bravelurker Fri 12-Apr-19 15:16:54

I had the exact same neighbours living above me for years and to make matters worse the mother was extremely violent with severe MH problems, so a normal person would be too afraid to complain.

The police were called out a lot - think midweek and stupid o'clock in the morning.

I bumped into to her about 6 months after I left and she was a wreak, the neighbours that replaced me were next level loud and lethal, they were making her ill and she was terrified of them.

These things just have a habit of working themselves out, apparently.

SoupDragon Fri 12-Apr-19 15:19:36

Leave him a parcel on his porch... this man is my hero.

youtu.be/xoxhDk-hwuo

TacoLover Fri 12-Apr-19 15:25:48

I doubt she just yells at him for fun, poor woman can't be very happy surely.

Yes, a woman screaming at her husband night after night, she must be the victimhmm

Penners99 Fri 12-Apr-19 16:51:22

I snuck into my neighbours garden the night before I moved and planted Japanese Knotweed all over.

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