Petty revenge

[Dan68]

I’ve lived next door to a neighbour from hell for almost two years. She gets drunk most nights and creates absolute scenes with her husband-mostly involving her screaming at him. Its terraced housing, so sound does carry but her behaviour is deplorable and wakens me most nights-like right now, even. The broken sleep is killing me, I have a very stressful load on right now and this is just adding to it.

Anyway, there is light at the end of the dark dark tunnel-we are moving into our new home within the next few weeks which is great for many reasons, but escaping her next door is a big one.

What petty-and legal-revenge can I exact upon her before we go? Help me mumsnet. All my ideas will have me in the jail!

[BloodsportForAll]

All my ideas would end the same way as yours, OP

[AvengersAssemble]

Grow up ffs

[KillerSpider]

@AvengersAssemble
Having a bad day hun?

[NameChangeSameRage]

Just be thankful you're moving and sorry for the next person who moves in. Don't rise.

[AlwaysCheddar]

Buy wind chimes?!

[slipperywhensparticus]

Stinky fish there garden? Or poppy seed it for more long term revenge

[HBStowe]

Stop being mental. Revenge is not a normal or achievable goal. You’re getting out of there so just do it and don’t look back. She will stop meaning so much to you once you’ve moved and you’ll feel bad that you ever gave her the headspace you did.

[randomchap]

Living well is the best revenge

[CheekyTreek]

Gosh, people are so uptight on here! Definitely windchimes and be so glad you are out of there soon!

[mogtheexcellent]

Christ some people.

OP I completely understand. My personal fave would be 'fuck you' written in weedkiller across their lawn. But practically
I would just make as much loud noise as possible. Particularly in the morning. You need the house sparkly clean for the new occupants so the Hoover needs to clean the skirting board on the shared wall a lot.

[Battytwatty]

Does anyone else see the irony of Avengers Assemble post and her user name??

[FuriousCheekyFucker]

Windchimes and old CDs on your fence.

[Babdoc]

Probably too late, but I’d have been tempted to sell the house to a 6’4” violent thug with a short temper, a love of rap music, a massive sound system, a crack habit and several large Rottweilers!
Joking aside, just be happy you’re leaving, OP. That neighbour has a shit life, an alcohol problem and continual rows. She is her own punishment really, isn’t she?

[TixieLix]

Gotta feel sorry for the husband having to live with that. Maybe furnish him with the name of a good solicitor and a link to the Mankind website.

[AlmostAJillSandwich]

Maybe her life is miserable enough already? I doubt she just yells at him for fun, poor woman can't be very happy surely.

[JellyFromTheBlock]

I lived with a neighbour like this, was living hell! Constant noise, music, screaming, loud sex, at all hours! My daughter was younger back then and was scared of what she would do next, and the interrupted sleep affected my work, it was horrific!

She always used to go see her boyfriend 30 miles away, they would end up getting drunk and having a fight, and she would drive home. I knew this cos she would always call me to say she was coming back.

SO one night, she called me to say she was on her way back. I'd had enough by this point...so this time the police were waiting for her 👌🏼

[EKGEMS]

The old school flaming paper bag full of dog shit on the doorstep

[twoshedsjackson]

When I moved away from unpleasant neighbours (many years ago) I was just relieved to be getting away; as PP's have said, living well is the best revenge.
Yet, oddly - one of the favourite tricks was to box my car in, meaning endless manoeuvring to extricate my car; deliberate ploy to engineer a disagreement, blowed if I would rise to the bait, but it was stressful.
I didn't have "For Sale" or "Sold" signs up, they had no idea I was moving out that day.
And on my moving day, the removal lorry, genuinely with no input from me, boxed the neighbour's car in. It wouldn't have happened if he hadn't been so keen to park too close on the other side IYSWIM.
The removal van was there for ages. I made myself scarce and left with a lighter heart ("going on ahead to the new address")
Rise above, and leave it to Karma.

[ToEarlyForDecorations]

Windchimes and old CDs on your fence.

[BlueMerchant]

Buy a bottle wine (screw cap) drink it while you are packing....you know the rest...hand it to her as you drive away smiling.

[Jebuschristchocolatebar]

Glitter bomb her. I did it to my colleague who is a cunt. I still relish the look on her face as she opened that envelope and watched all that glitter pour out.

[Dan68]

Thanks everyone-you’ve helped me put some perspective on the situation! A few of your ideas have had me in stitches so thank you. Glitter bombing would be excellent!

[AvengersAssemble]

@KillerSpider no! Just what is the point when the neighbour would know who is responsible?

[Confusedbeetle]

Revenge is petty and childish

[Drum2018]

Revenge is sweet. Wait til just before you move and send her a birthday card (regardless of when her birthday is) with the glitter and sign it off with some random name. No doubt the glitter will annoy her but also the fact that she won't figure out who sent the card and it's not even likely to be her birthday. Harmless but annoying for her.